by Cameron Jace
"Looking Glass." It all starts to connect now. "Like Alice did in Lewis' book Through the Looking-Glass." I remember clearly how in one chapter she entered Wonderland through a mirror. Lewis wasn't over-imagining or fictionalizing. This was true, except the mirror had to be entered while set opposite to Einstein's Blackboard.
"The book is called Through the Looking-Glass, and what Alice Found There," the Pillar lectures me again. "Now it's more of an Einstein's Blackboard Looking Glass." He tries to sound funny, but he isn't. He knows the gravity of my fears.
"Is that why only the Real Alice can do it?"
He nods.
"But I am unimaginably afraid of mirrors," I say. "I will faint, like in the fitting room."
"You can close your eyes, Alice, and I can guide you inside, hold your hand until you step inside," he offers. "The problem will be on your way back."
"How am I supposed to come back?"
"The same mirror and blackboard should be in Carroll's studio on the roof of the university, next to the Tom Tower."
"But, there is no one to help there with closing my eyes."
"I know," he says. "Maybe Carroll could help."
"Why can't we just use the Tom Tower like last time?"
"The Tom Tower is the Bridge of Realities," the Pillar says. "It's like dreaming or crossing realms. Whatever you change there isn't going to change the future."
"But I gave Lewis the idea to write the Alice in Wonderland book last time."
"You might have, but it's not necessarily the real reason. Who knows why he wrote the book, really?" The Pillar pulls his hand back from behind the curtain. "Like I said, we still can go back to the asylum and be happy, insane people. You don't have to do it."
"If there is no one who can do it but me, then I have to do it." I rub the pocket in my jeans, right over the folded paper with Jack's identity. It's insane how safe it makes me feel.
I walk to the blackboard and write the date of January 14th, 1862, the place of Lewis' study—because I don't know how to reach the Muffin Man if not through him. With my back to the blackboard, I close my eyes and ask the Pillar to bring the mirror and guide me through it.
As he pulls it close, I feel the walls closing in on me, because how good am I at closing my eyes and making sure they won't disobey me by just opening up?
54
LEWIS CARROLL'S STUDIO, OXFORD UNIVERSITY, 1862
The transition to the past isn't as complicated as I thought. Once I step into the mirror, I feel the creaking wooden floor underneath me. I am in Lewis Carroll's studio. The air smells of violets and a scent called Fleurs de Bulgarie. I don't know how I know it. I just do, although it's not sold in the modern world.
I am afraid if I open my eyes, I'll find another mirror in front of me. Logically, it should be behind me, but I am too scared to run into the scary rabbit again. There is one thing I am sure of, though. I am back in my seven-year-old body like last time I met Lewis through the Tom Tower.
"I need more costumes, Alice." Lewis' voice eases my worries. "I don't think I bought enough costumes from Drury Lane."
I open my eyes slowly. There is no mirror in front of me. I let out a sigh of relief and check the pocket watch in my hand. It's fourteen minutes to seven in the evening. Time is definitely different than back there in Oxford, where it should be a little after midnight right now.
I look at Lewis standing before a large pile of costumes. His rabbit is standing atop it, nibbling on a carrot and scratching its head. Both are staring at the costumes, hoping to solve some problem. The piled costumes are cut and sewn back again together in smaller sizes after being redesigned. I wonder why Lewis would do this to the precious outfits.
"Why did you cut the costumes?" I ask, supposing I just fit in the scene as if I hadn't just reappeared out of nowhere. Who knows how this time travel really works.
"I told you, Alice," Lewis says.
"He told you, Alice," the rabbit repeats.
"Each costume had been designed for an adult," Lewis explains. "Cutting them in half makes each costume available for two kids instead of one."
"You want them to act in your plays?" I ask.
"Not the plays." Lewis sighs, still staring at the pile. "In the beginning, I used the costumes for entertaining the poor and homeless children. But then I discovered they needed the costumes themselves as shelter from the cold."
The more I know Lewis, the more I admire him.
"Maybe we could cut the costumes in three parts," the rabbit suggests. "The children are all smaller in size than normal children their age already. I think it could work."
"Why are the children smaller than their usual size?" I ask, wondering about the differences between past and future. Nowadays, children are slightly oversized.
"Malnutrition, poor health, and the cold," Lewis answers. "These times are harsh, Alice. Look outside. The children are homeless and hungry. And this is only Oxford. Filth and poverty in London is much worse. It breaks my heart, Alice. I have to find a way to save them."
The words ring in the back of my head. Save them, he said. So those are the ones he couldn't save? Can I change the past and help him save them?
"We could build a shelter in the university's church, Lewis," the rabbit says. "Maybe give them some of my carrots." The rabbit shrugs and its ears fall to the sides. It realizes the luxury of living with Lewis and having enough carrots to eat. It lowers its eyes and cuts the carrot in two halves. It puts one aside for later and nibbles slower on the one in hand.
"We need to find a way to get them food." Lewis looks as if he is responsible for their hardships. "And we need to educate them. Most of them don't know how to read."
As much as I want to help with the issue of kids, I need to ask them to help Gorgon. "Lewis," I utter. "We have to save the Muffin Man."
Lewis senses my unusual intensity and turns to me. "Who is the Muffin Man?"
"The Muffin Man. The Muffin Man. Who lives in Drury Lane," the rabbit sings.
"That Muffin Man." I point at the rabbit.
"You mean the nursery rhyme?" Lewis asks.
"No, I mean the Muffin Man," I insist. "Hmm...the cook. Yes, I mean the cook."
"The cook?" Lewis exchanges puzzled looks with his rabbit.
"The one who works for the Duchess." I didn't expect it to be this hard.
"The Duchess has no cook," the rabbit says. "She is looking for one, but she hasn't found a cook yet."
"I mean the Queen's cook." I remember that the Muffin Man used to work for the Queen, like the Pillar said. "The Queen of Hearts."
The rabbit slides back into Lewis' pocket and says nothing. I can hear its teeth chatter inside.
"You scared him." Lewis laughs. "The Queen of Hearts scares him. I think you mean Gorgon, the Queen's crops handler?"
"Yes, that's him." God, I lost so much time talking already.
"What about him?"
"He is in danger," I say. "We have to help him."
"What kind of danger?" Lewis stutters. This is the second time I've heard him stutter. I wonder if he was born that way.
"I don't know, but we have to help him before something happens to him."
"You're not m-making any s-sense." He seems embarrassed by the sudden stutter. He rubs his forehead. I think he has a migraine.
"I know, but please, Lewis. Let me see the cook."
"Ah," Lewis says. "Y-y-you are using Gorgon as an excuse to go back to W-w-wonderland." He seems to refer to a prior conversation I don't remember. "Like I said. I locked them and am not planning to open its doors anytime soon."
"But we have to." I grip his arms. He doesn't understand. "You have to save him. Don't you remember the vision when you said you 'couldn't save them'? I think it has to do with the cook."
"You had a vision of me?"
"Please, Lewis. You're not one to leave someone in need behind. Trust me."
"All right. All right," he says. "Let's see what's wrong with Wonderland again. Close your ey
es. I will walk you to one of the doors to Wonderland." I nod and close my eyes. So the doors to Wonderland are really through the university like the Pillar suggested? "You can't open your eyes until I tell you."
I nod again, although I am tempted to open them and know the door's location. Still, I can't. What if I mess something up? The Muffin Man is my priority.
I sense Lewis take my hand, and we walk for a while. Almost a minute. We descend a few stairs, and then I hear the sound of the turn of a key. Does my key open a door to Wonderland? Is that why he gave it to me before?
After we step through something—I am not sure it's a door—he asks me to open my eyes.
55
It's the same Wonderland I saw in my vision. Enchanting and with an endless variety of colors. Sizable fruits acting like huge trees. There is a huge arching rainbow in the distance and a few mushrooms nearby. Unfortunately, there is no time to explore it now.
Lewis seems to look around cautiously, avoiding some kind of threat. I notice he has brought his sword along.
"We need to act faster, Lewis," I say.
"Don't be fooled by all the beauty, Alice," he says. "Wonderland isn't what it used to be."
"It doesn't matter." I look at my watch. It's ten minutes to seven. "Please, we have to find Gorgon."
"Wait." Lewis pulls his rabbit out of his pocket and orders it to run fast and ask if anyone knows where Gorgon is. The rabbit hesitates but then hops and disappears into the forest.
"Can't we just go to his house?" I ask.
"I don't know where Gorgon lives."
The rabbit hops back with the news. "She is right, Lewis. The Queen of Hearts has Gorgon imprisoned," it says. "She is punishing him for stealing pepper and muffins from her kitchen."
"Why would he do that?" I have to investigate.
"He was eating with his children and they asked him to buy pepper for their food, and muffins for dessert," the rabbit says. "Gorgon lives in a poor neighborhood, so he went out, but no one agreed to give him pepper for free. He ended up borrowing a handful from the Queen's kitchen. The Queen was upset and sent the Reds to bring him to her. They say she is in a bad mood today, just like last year, and the year before."
"The children in Wonderland are as poor as the children in London," Lewis tells me. "We have to stop the Queen from hurting him." Lewis holds my hand and starts running. "Gorgon is a good man. His wife died giving birth to his last child, and he takes care of them, working hard to raise them properly. I am sure the pepper issue was just a slip of faith on his behalf. The Queen's wrath is lethal."
I pant as I run with Lewis. He seems to be taking a longer route, trying to avoid whatever scares him in the forest. I can't complain, as long as we're getting there.
We arrive at a great castle, which I have no time to look at. We're standing behind hordes of Reds circling the Queen and Gorgon. Both are too far away. I can't see their faces in detail.
"Go see what's going on," Lewis orders his rabbit.
The rabbit hops again. We duck, afraid the Reds will see us. As we wait, I feel the need to ask, "Lewis, is there any chance we could use None Fu against the Reds?"
"Not a chance, Alice," Lewis replies. "I haven’t developed the art of it yet."
So Jack wasn't bluffing. There is such a thing as None Fu, the warrior’s art he told me about in the Vatican. But how does Jack know about it?
A minute later, the rabbit comes back with fear bulging its eyes. "The Queen of Hearts is torturing Gorgon in front of all her acquaintances," the rabbit says.
"Is she planning to chop off his head?" Lewis asks.
"Worse," the rabbit says. "She intends to torture him for embarrassing her in front of the elite visitors she had invited over to taste her delicious tarts. She's stuffing his nose with tons of pepper now, until he won't be able to stop sneezing."
"She is going to make him sneeze to death," I murmur. But in my mind, I can't see the harsh punishment that changed the Muffin Man from an ordinary father into a killer. All of this seems nonsensical and irrelevant.
"She has her guards holding him by the arms and vowed he will not be freed until he sneezes so hard his eyes pop out." The rabbit finds it kind of funny but tries to hide it.
"That Queen." Lewis sighs. "I don't want anything to do with her, but it wouldn't be right to leave him behind."
"Are you sure that's it?" I ask while staring at my pocket watch. It's six minutes to seven.
"Why are you asking, Alice?" Lewis says. "The man will have one of his eyes popped out from sneezing. Isn't that enough torture?"
I don't answer, because as horrible as it sounds, it doesn't seem like enough reason to turn an ordinary man into a beast. Why would he go on killing innocent kids later? "I'm sorry. I expected worse," I say. "Let's save him, then."
Gorgon's screams are audible now. They must have started to torture him.
"All right." Lewis sighs. "I guess I will have to do this. You stay here, Alice." He turns to his rabbit. "You will distract the Reds. Make them chase you for a while, so I get through. I know how to fight the guards and free Gorgon. He should be able to run, right?"
"I don't think he is hurt much," the rabbit says. "Except for his eyes, if he loses one."
It's only a moment before Gorgon screams louder, and we hear something pop like a cork out of a bottle. My eyes widen, and the rabbit digs the ground to hide its head.
There is no stopping the nonsense factor in Wonderland. I hear the Queen laugh loudly and happily as if she has been told a sincerely amusing joke.
It gets even weirder when Gorgon's eye comes rolling before us and stops in front of me. The rabbit sticks its head out and stares at the eye, with ears flipped straight and goosebumps all over its arched back.
I know it's gory and unfair, but I still can't think of it as reason enough to transform him into a child killer. I think I have become slightly indifferent toward all the blood spilling around me.
"Help them!" someone screams from inside the circle I can't see past.
"Who is saying this?" I ask.
"It's Gorgon!" the rabbit says.
"Why is he shouting, 'Help them'?" Lewis asks.
"Help who?" I say.
"Maybe he lost both his eyes and is calling for them." The rabbit pulls out a bag and tucks the lost eye in, looking away as it does it.
"That's it." Lewis' anger peaks. He stands up and doesn't even wait for his rabbit to distract the Reds. He starts chopping the heads of the Reds army off.
56
I am astonished at how skilled and agile Lewis is. Did he learn to fight because of Wonderland? What happened here and made him lock them all away?
My watch says I only have four minutes left.
I pick up my fragile seven-year-old body and run through the Reds as Lewis fights alone.
"Queen of Hearts," Lewis shouts. "I demand you free this man."
"Help them, please!" shouts Gorgon.
For the first time, I am able to see him. He is held by the Reds, unable to free himself. They have his hands and legs roped and tied to trees on four sides. The Queen, although I can't see the details of her face, is pouring pepper onto him. Gorgon sneezes, risking his other eye popping out. She loves torturing him. She doesn't look worried about Lewis fighting her guards behind her.
"This will teach you to never steal my pepper again," she growls. "This will teach everyone in Wonderland to fear me forever." She laughs like an evil witch.
I use my small figure and keep chugging through the red cloaks all around me. I have to reach Gorgon. Maybe it's not about what will happen to him now, but later. If I help him escape the Queen now, it should divert the course of events in the future and save him from turning into a killer.
I stumble over something tiny and fall on my face. The watch says three minutes. Looking for what I stumbled upon, I find a few croquet balls scattered on the ground. No mallet, though. I pick up a bunch of croquet balls and carry them in my yellow dress. Before I can use t
hem, two Reds hold me by the arms. I kick and moan in this child's body, but it's all in vain.
"Help them, please!" Gorgon begins to cry out of an eyeless eye socket. I wonder how a big man like him isn't capable of freeing himself from the Queen.
And who is he asking us to help? I don't get it!
I kick the Reds in the faces, but it doesn't help much. Behind me, Lewis starts calling for me. "I told you to stay away, Alice!" He slashes at the fighting Reds with his sword, but he can't get near me or Gorgon. Lewis Carroll, in a priest's outfit, fighting the Reds in Wonderland, is a scene that will stay with me for a long time.
"Please, Majesty," Gorgon says. "Let me go, or they will die."
"I want them to die," the Queen growls. She has such a scary growl for such a short person. "Children have small heads. I can use them as croquet balls for my games." She sneers and pours more pepper on him.
Finally, I realize what Gorgon means. Someone has to save his kids from something in his absence. I pull out a ball and hit one of the Reds in the back of his head. It works, but I need to free myself from the other one.
"He wants us to save his children, Lewis!" I yell. "He probably left them back in his house when he went to get the pepper."
"I don't know where he lives." Lewis sounds exhausted from fighting.
I kick the other Red with the ball, but it doesn't hurt him enough to fall. So I try to kick him in the balls with my fragile legs. Oddly, this works fine. His red cloak falls to the ground, and whatever was inside it disappears.
On my feet again, I run ahead as I throw balls at each one of them. If they have swords, I have balls—pun intended.
From afar, I aim one ball at the short Queen's head. Bull's-eye. She gets dizzy, birds chirp around her, and then she falls slowly to one side like a chopped-off tree. I run at Gorgon and try to free him. The knots are too tight for my stupid small body. He has been tied from all fours to different trees in the garden.
