“Hey, you’re on the air,” Carlos said, as in “1-2-3 testing.”
“I don’t give a f—k if I’m on Mars. This is the worst f—king clusterf—k in the history of broadcasting!”
Yes! Success! Psychic Tourette’s!
I gave Manny a good squint. No doubt about it— no longer blue-gray. He was a bilious shade of oily olive. I had a feeling this was going to be his last broadcast.
I turned back to the court to give A.B. the high sign before somebody tranquilized him, but he was way ahead of me. One second he was there, the next he… just… wasn’t.
“What the hell?” the announcer screamed. “The animal is… gone. Where did it go, for God’s sake? How did that even happen?”
The rest of the Rangers high-fived on that one, but guess what Cooper and I did instead? Something we shouldn’t have, in public. I don’t know, we just couldn’t help it.
Guess our secret was out.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE—YOUTUBE IS FOREVER
Poor Morgan. I doubt she’ll ever be the same.
A.B. certainly won’t. Not only did he make every major news show that night, he was on every front page in the country. But those things are ephemeral. YouTube is forever, and A.B. had already gone viral by the time we got back to Ojai. Now he can watch himself over and over again for the next nine hundred years.
Me? I was going crazy. I absolutely couldn’t believe the clowns still wouldn’t let me call my family! I fell into such a fit of despair I slept for another two days.
And then on Saturday, Evelina woke me up. “Guess what? You have a visitor.”
“My dad?”
She nodded, smiling, and disappeared. But I wasn’t smiling. If Dad had come instead of calling, it could only be with bad news. If Haley was better, why not just call? Why show up?
I shoved A.B. out of bed. “It didn’t work!”
“What didn’t work?”
“Oh, never mind. It’s not your fault. You’re not super-human, you know.”
“I’m not?” he asked. I’m pretty sure it was a serious question.
But when I stepped onto the quad, it wasn’t Dad who came running to hug me. It was Haley. Haley, running, her aura a brilliant pinky-red!
Objectively, I knew it was Haley; she was the only Chinese sister I had who looked like that. And the man with her was Dad, the radiant woman at his side being a mom I hadn’t seen for years. But my brain just couldn’t take it in. I stood rooted to the spot, unable to run to meet her, to move at all, until I actually held her in my arms. And then I tried to squeeze the life out of her. She was so skinny!
But so beautiful. Her complexion glowed, her cheeks shone pink, her eyes flashed with life and energy. I didn’t want know what to say. I think what came out was “You’re so… back!”
Dad and Mom had caught up with us by the time I found my tongue. I squeezed them like a grizzly as well, and Mom said, “I am too, Deboreeno. We’re both back!”
Dad was trying to explain. “The doctor says it’s the fastest recovery he’s ever seen in his life. Absolutely unexplained by medical science.”
“She woke up from the coma— when? Early this week,” Mom said.
“Feeling great,” Haley supplied.
“Two pints of blood later and… this!”
“Well, the blood plus a burger and fries,” Haley said.
“So, Mom,” I said, “you think the family curse is finally broken or what?”
Mom glanced at Dad, vaguely irritated. “Who told you about that old myth? Give me a break— this is medical proof the whole thing’s garbage. Haley’s illness was a rogue virus.”
“Could I just ask one thing? What night was it exactly? That she woke up?”
The parental units looked at each other.
“Um, Tuesday, I guess,” Dad said. Uh-huh. The day I was in Uxmal. “Because they said she could come home in two days and Thursday night, we were in our own family room, watching the Lakers game together. We had popcorn and everything, but the game got canceled.”
“I heard about that. Something about a leopard in the stadium?”
“Anyhow,” Dad said, “want to go have breakfast?”
“For real? I can go off-campus?”
“You can spend the whole day with us. We got you a family emergency pass. The school agreed it was the biggest emergency they’ve ever had here. In a good way.”
Mom handed over a suitcase. “We even brought you some clothes.”
“Great, I’ll go change. Haley, come! I want you to meet my roommates.”
“You have two?”
“Well, one’s not exactly human.”
But of course the Beast was gone when we got to the room. Any time he sensed a bout of possible petting, he was so out of there.
I shook Kara awake.
“Reeno, for God’s sake, can’t you…?”
“Kara! Kara, I want you to meet somebody.”
She took one look at my sister and whispered, “Haley? Is this Haley?” And then she threw the covers off, leapt out of bed, and started hugging Haley and crying. Crying! Even I didn’t do that. “Omigod, Haley, I can’t believe it’s you. I have to go get the others…”
I touched her arm. “Kara. Wait. It’s okay, there’s plenty of time.”
“Oh. Oh, yeah, there is. Well, Sonya anyhow. I’ll be right back.” And she pattered away in her Megadeth T-shirt, black cotton panties, and bare feet.
While I was dressing, Haley sat on the bed and asked cautiously, “What was up with that?”
“It’s a story. The short version is, you’ve got a great little support group on this campus.”
“Black magic isn’t involved, is it? Because, somehow, I feel like this is some kind of miracle.”
“Well, not exactly black. Kind of more… oily olive.”
“Ewwwwwww.”
Kara came back with Sonya, and while she was hugging Haley and welcoming her back from the dead, I rummaged in my top drawer for my princess tears and Palak’s little carving.
“Come on, Haley.”
“Y’all have fun,” Sonya said. “Haley, remember one thing— you got the biggest fan club ever right here at St. Joan’s. You ever want to run away, you just come on. The Ozone Rangers’ll take you in.”
As we walked down the hall, Haley said, “What was she talking about?”
“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you.”
“I would.”
“Uh-uh, you wouldn’t, but guess what, I will tell you. Just not today. And only if you’ll support me when I tell Mom and Dad I have an errand to do.”
She shrugged. “Sure. I’m in a pretty good mood. Hey, guess what? We’ve got another surprise for you.”
As soon as we stepped out of the dorm, my other surprise came running toward me just like Haley had. Curly! The real Curly.
I wasn’t sure what being with Curly was going to be like after hanging with A.B., but it was bliss. She let me pet and cuddle her, and she was so glad to see me I thought she was going to wriggle her butt off. And she didn’t call me Human or Novice or any other demeaning names. She just licked me and loved me like a pet’s supposed to and sat in my lap all the way to the restaurant.
And breakfast was… about two hours long. We had a lot of subjects to cover.
After Dad paid the bill, I brought up my question. “Listen, I know this sounds weird when I haven’t seen everyone in so long, but I kind of need to deliver a gift to someone. Could we do that?”
Mom looked hurt. “I don’t understand.”
“When I first got here, there was one person who was nice to me before I made any friends, and she was our housemother. But she got mugged, and as a result she was hurt so badly she hasn’t been back. I just need to see that she’s okay. And take her a little something I got her.”
Even Mom couldn’t object to that. So Dad called Hal, found out where Abuela lived, and set the GPS. Her home was on the outskirts of town, a little thatch-roofed cottage with a calico cat in th
e yard.
I knew that cat! Suddenly a lot of things started falling into place.
“Mrrrow,” said Spot, recognizing me instantly. Curly tried to chase her, but she did her Halloween thing, thoroughly intimidating the poor pooch.
Abuela greeted me like I was her own granddaughter. Her eye was no longer bandaged, and I wondered if her sight had returned. “Not yet,” she said, “but it will. I have faith; I know it will.” She asked us all in for some juice, and I saw that, although everything else looked exactly like I remembered, the codex was nowhere in sight. When I went to the kitchen to help her, I gave her the princess tears.
“They’re a little dry right now,” I said, “but they’re there. And here’s something else for you.” I fished the little carving from my pocket.
She examined it carefully with her one good eye. “This is no tourist bauble. This is pre-Colombian.”
“Is it?” I asked innocently.
“Where did you get it?”
I shrugged. “Found it— in my travels.”
She hugged me. “You’re a good girl, Reeno. My eye will heal now.”
Did she know everything, I wondered? She was surprised by the carving, but A.B. had said, This is the home of a Mayan shaman.
Of course, I knew how A.B. knew about her— Spot was the informant. And now I knew why she could predict the future and knew what would heal her. She had magical powers herself. And she must know that I did, because she’d asked me for something really hard to get.
But you just don’t go around mentioning talking cats to sane people.
Still, I had to know about that codex. “Abuela, may I tell you a secret? I know about the Mayan book.”
“Yes?” Now she was the one acting innocent.
“What’s in it, Abuela? Does it really say what’s going to happen in 2012? How the world’s going to end, I mean?” So A.B. and I could start preventing it. It could be sun spots, I thought; or space aliens. We could go to the right scientists, maybe even time-travel to the future…
“I’m sure it says, niña. You did well.”
“Well, what’s next? I mean I could…”
“All I can tell you is this: It is in the hands of the right people.”
I must have looked doubtful, because she said, “It isn’t just me, you know. My granddaughter is helping.”
“Your granddaughter?” What was she getting at?
“You know her.”
Oh. My. God. “Evelina!” I burst out.
“She speaks very highly of you.”
***
Before we left, she gave the carving to Haley. “Keep this with you,” she said, “and you will always be safe. Whatever harm has come to you in the past will not recur. It’s a magic charm given to me by a very good friend— a friend who’s a powerful witch.”
“A witch? I don’t know…”
“A nice witch,” Abuela said, and winked with her good eye.
When we left, I hugged her and said, “I love you, Abuela.”
She said, “Come and study with me when you’re ready.”
Something about that made me anxious. I already have a magic teacher, I wanted to say. But of course I couldn’t.
***
A.B. was waiting when they took me home. “Buenos noches, compadre. How was your day?”
Polite conversation wasn’t his style. It made me nervous. “What’s this compadre thing? That’s a new one.”
“We worked well together, girlagig.” That was more like it. Condescending. “You’ve earned the title. You have heart— no thanks to Palak, of course.”
“Very funny, fuzzball. By the way, I delivered the princess tears. But Abuela wouldn’t tell me what happened to the codex. So I was kind of wondering— did we save the world or what?”
“Be patient, compadre. It’s only 2011. You’ll find out next year.”
Seeing my glare, he said, “Very well, you deserve a straight answer. We did our part.”
“Come on, A.B.”
“Be patient. Do you know what H-men are? That’s the name given to the Mayan shamans in practice today. Abuela is one, as you learned. And there is another, a very, very skilled magician, who works closely with the Guard. She will decipher the codex and cause the information to fall into the right hands when the time arrives.”
I nodded. “Anybody I know?”
“Possibly.”
Ah. “But whose hands. Politicians? Scientists?”
“Perhaps. Perhaps other members of the Guard. We can’t know the solution until we know the problem. If a Cleveland-sized meteor is heading for Earth, all the scientists in the world couldn’t stop it.”
“Like the Guard could.”
He flicked his simian tail. “Never underestimate the power of magic.”
“Right. Okay, I get it— we did our part. It’s out of our hands.” I paused just for a beat, because I was excited. I tried to be casual. “So what’s our next mission?”
“Yours is to graduate. Mine is for me alone to know.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. For a moment I didn’t speak at all, just stood there feeling as if he’d whacked me with his tail. “You’re cutting me out?” I finally managed, my voice barely a whisper, hoarse with disbelief and loss.
“Our time together is over, compadre. It’s been… jolting. Wouldn’t you say?”
“Hold it! What about my lessons? Magic! Magical combat! We barely got started.”
“There’s only one lesson, little one.” Little one. Like he was somebody’s grandfather. He never talked like that. “There’s the Simple Secret and there’s the Main Maxim, but there is only one lesson. Are you ready for it?”
I was way too mad to answer.
“Magic is transformation— princess tears to healing potion. You understand the principle perfectly.”
I was running out of arguments, so I resorted to whining. “But, A.B., you can’t leave me alone with the ceiling spiders!”
“You have Kara. And your other friends.”
Well, I did. I really didn’t know what else to say.
He let me cuddle with him that night, but the next morning the ungrateful Beast was gone. Just like that. After all we’d been through together.
Okay, I know what he is. He’s the next thing to the Prince of Darkness— a merciless fiend and a bloodthirsty monster; a callous killer and a ruthless assassin. But I miss him like crazy. Go figure.
However, I do not need him. As I keep telling myself. He’s right, I have friends. Real ones this time, not fake ones like Jace and Morgan. And I have Haley back. And Mom. And a great dad and a great dog and a potential magic teacher. And even, I think, a boy friend.
A really great boy friend. Cooper’s a terrific person. Super-considerate and a master criminal in the making. Once he figured out the check trick (get someone else to order something, then reimburse by check), he got us an official Rangers laptop. So now I can watch A.B.’s YouTube videos any time I feel like it.
But I still have this insane need I just can’t shake. I have got to get a new tattoo the second I get out of here— a jaguar, in Cat Position Five.
The Sphinx.
THE END
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About the Author
Like Reeno Dimond, Red Q. Arthur remains pretty much the queen of bad girls and is also still a dog person, despite all educational attempts on the part of parents, schools, and animals. She can also do magic. Bad Girl School, which is 100% true, is her first novel. Call it a senior project-- you get bored in those places.
Bad Girl School Page 28
