by Kim Petersen
He shuffled closer to them. “I saw Mum and Dad hugging,” he boasted.
“Really?” Millie and Emily exchanged glances. “Well, that’s different!”
“Yeah, it’s good,” he said.
“Hmm... yeah,” Millie said absently. “Now, you got to go Ace; I have to get ready okay?”
His little face dropped. “Well,” he piped up, “Have you seen the new presents under the tree? Mum is putting them all out early this year!” His eyes were wide and bright again.
Millie reluctantly drew herself up from the bed. “I’ll have a look later, okay.”
“Okay,” he moped.
Millie placed her hands on his shoulders and turned him around towards the bedroom door. “Off you go now.”
He squirmed loose from her and screwed his face up at her. “Oh!” he said, turning to face the girls again and smiling, “Did you guys know that a cat has thirty-two muscles in each ear?”
Millie swung around for a pillow and threw it at him. The pillow smashed into his face. “Out!” she commanded.
He was gone before she drew her next breath.
***
Butterflies were alive and well in the pit of her stomach, and fluttered about with nervous excitement. Millie cast a sceptical eye over her reflection one more time as she heard his knock on the front door. This will have to do! she thought. Long, dark brown curls swept up and cascaded against the soft white fabric of her dress, and tumbled down to reach her lower back. Her face showcased charcoal-accentuated eyes and full gloss-pink lips. The new dress her mother had given her slipped over her slim curves and hugged the bronze glow of her skin. Whatdoyouknow! Emily was right, Millie thought with a twirl in front of the mirror. The bangles work fabulously! She was ready for her first date with Damon Richards.
The broadest smile Millie thought she had ever seen greeted her when her eyes first came to rest on him. A dozen long stemmed red roses, which must have cost a fortune, Millie speculated, were balanced in his outstretched hand. His eyes, creased with a soft smile, reminded her of a calm, dreamy blue lagoon. Just the way I like them, she thought.
“Hi.” A murmur escaped through her trembling lips as she accepted the flowers. “Thank you, they’re lovely.” Millie focused on the roses resting in her arms in an effort to curb her shyness.
“Not as lovely as you, Millie.” His voice was husky and deep, and a sweet melody on her ears as her name rolled deliciously over the curve of his tongue.
She lifted her skittish eyes to meet his, and recognised the gentleness there. This time, her smile was a little bolder. “I’ll go put these in water,” she stammered. “Be right back!”
She turned away and rushed down the hall to the kitchen where she rested against the bench-top while trying to soothe the butterflies. She then set about finding a suitable vessel for her flowers. She flung open cupboard doors in a frenzy to find her mother’s vase.
“What are you looking for?” Her mother’s voice sliced through her frustrated frenzy.
“Your vase,” she said, still searching.
Lilly spotted the roses laying on the kitchen bench. “Oh, Millie!” she gushed. She sauntered casually to a cupboard high over the stove, and pulled out a vase. “They’re beautiful.”
Millie gave a relieved sigh when she saw the vase in her mother’s hands. “Thanks Mum,” she said.
“He must really like you,” Lilly said. “Here.” She smiled as she reached for the roses. “I’ll take care of the flowers for you.” She stretched her arms out, beckoning her for a hug.
Millie stepped into her mother’s embrace and hastily wrapped her arms around her, giving her a quick, tight squeeze. Pulling back, Millie smiled up at her. “Gotta go!” she quipped, missing the guilt that tore at her mother’s heart as she turned her back on her for the last time.
“Have fun Millie-pie. I love you.”
Her mother’s voice trailed after her, barely heard over the screeching creak of floor boards beneath running feet.
***
Damon caught Millie’s swinging hand as they ambled down the street towards the bus stop. Clasping graceful nimble fingers between his thick ones, she was conscious of feeling safe and cherished as his fingers encircled and held her own. Millie enjoyed the way he collided his hand against hers, and she loved how it felt to entwine her fingers with his. She started to relax more as they walked. The more they talked and laughed, the more the fluttery, nervous noise inside her began to slide away. She shot him a sideways glance while he guided her across the street, weaving through the evening twilight traffic. The contour of his lean, masculine physique was clad snuggly in denim jeans, while a casual white Cold Chisel emblazoned T-shirt showed off his solid bronze-toned arms. Thick dark brown hair fell in wisps over his eyes, framing the square set of his jaw and lips that frequently broke out into the widest of smiles.
When they reached the bus stop, Damon slowly drew his hand away from hers and tentatively let it fall around the small of her waist, watching closely for her reaction. Her heart quickened at his intimate gesture, and she gazed at him with the softest of smiles playing in her eyes. Emerald eyes met his before tracking lower and lingering over the swell of his lush lips. Dreamy eyes examined every line and curve of his face without any curious onlookers gawking and whispering in jealous tones around them. Her eyes finally rested again on lips that seemed to have some kind of magnetic power over her. A warm shiver shook her. I can’t wait to feel those lips against mine again! Millie mused. He gave her a cheeky grin, as if reading her mind. Am I drooling? she thought in sudden alarm.
Damon pulled her closer to him. “Do you like vampires, Millie?” he said, still grinning.
“I guess,” she said, puzzled.
“Good,” he said, as the bus came to a halt in front of them. Taking her hand, he led her through the automatic doors of the bus. “Because I’m taking you to see The Lost Boys.”
Millie smiled as she looked out the window of the bus. She couldn’t remember when she had last been into the city at night. The waters of the bay rocked languidly back and forth, illuminated with the glimmering reflection of lights. She soaked in every detail as they passed the bay, and closed her eyes to take a mental snapshot. This, I shall paint one day, she vowed, and prayed silently for canvas and paint this Christmas.
They ate at a small, cosy cafe before the movie started. Conversation between them was light and easy as they enjoyed their food and each other’s company. Turns out, Millie thought, Damon is really quite nice under the cocky confidence he portrays at school. He was much more mature than other boys his age, and showed his maturity with his gentlemanly manner. His attitude towards her was sweet and thoughtful, and he made her feel special. She couldn’t imagine any other place or person she’d rather be with in this moment. Hmmm … well perhaps Michael Hutchence might give Damon a run for his money! she thought with private amusement while they munched down their burgers and hot chips.
“So, how does Amelia Anderson view the world?” Damon grinned when their dinner was demolished.
Her eyes widened. “Whoa! Deep question. I’m impressed,” she smiled.
He watched her with intrigue.
“Well, I’m learning that not everything is always as it appears. That angels live among us. That the core of our essence is love … and maybe the world isn’t as tangible as we think it is.”
Damon traced a finger lightly over her hand. “Hmm … you’re feeling pretty tangible to me!” he laughed. “Perhaps angels can be tangible too,” he whispered.
“I’m no angel!” she said blushing. “I mean in the creative sense. What if we can deliberately create our lives with our thoughts?”
“Then I would create an abundant future with you by my side!” he said extravagantly. “You are unique, Millie.” His expression became serious. “And you take my breath away.”
Her blush deepened as she lowered her eyes. “How about you? How does Damon Richards view the world?”
He grin
ned. “That’s easy. Absolutely breathtaking!”
She leaned forward to rest her chin in her cupped hands. “That is easy!” she laughed. “Let’s go see this movie.”
He held her close throughout the movie, offering her popcorn, Fantails and slurps of an oversized Coke they shared periodically. She was full to the brim by the time they were on the bus heading back to Rockton.
Damon watched as Millie held her belly in mirth, cracking jokes about how she’d have to roll instead of walk home, “Or, you’ll just have to carry me home, Damon” she declared. “But no biting!” Millie waved an index finger at him while the brows of her eyes furrowed in mockery.
“I’ll bite when you tell me to bite.” He smiled playfully. Damon’s eyes grew serious as he looked at her. “Millie,” he said as he gently touched her hand, “I enjoy your company very much.”
She stopped giggling as she returned his gaze. Her heart did a flip and her mouth became dry as she bit down on her bottom lip and brought her free hand up to grasp the ends of her hair. How does he do this to me! she thought, mildly irritated with herself. Although secretly, she liked the effect he had on her.
“Me too.” She could feel her cheeks blushing red. Then, avoiding his stare, she flicked her eyes towards the window and the passing traffic.
Damon cradled her face in his large hand and lightly turned her head to face him. “Come here,” he said. Peering deep into her eyes with longing tenderness, he bent his face down to hers. Their eyes locked as their lips met in a gentle collision of anticipated passion. Her eyes closed in sync with his, and their lips united for a few moments with his hand still cupping her jaw. He lightly pushed his tongue through her parted lips, setting her heart racing as her body responded to him in ways she had never known existed. His tongue became hot and urgent against her own, and for a moment she thought she might have died and gone to heaven. She clasped her arms around his neck, entwining her fingers through the thick tousled curls of his hair. Their kiss deepened as lips and tongues explored unfamiliar territory with the flame of passion ablaze. The bus arrived at their stop too quickly, and with a last few desperate pecks, their lips reluctantly parted.
They alighted from the bus clutching one another’s hands and walked quietly back to her house, savouring their intimacy and strolling slowly as to delay their arrival. Pausing beneath the dim glow of an old street light a few metres from Millie’s home, they turned to one another to say their goodbyes.
“Thank you for a lovely first date, Damon.” Millie took each of his hands in hers and swung them lightly together.
Damon returned her grin. “Since we got off the bus, I’ve been thinking.”
“Oh yeah?”
A glint of mischief crossed his eyes. “I have to know, where on earth did you learn to kiss like that?”
“It belonged to thought first,” she whispered, biting down on her bottom lip and feeling herself blush.
“It was a fine thought, Millie.” His smile became gentle. “I liked it a lot.”
“Me too.” This is all I imagined! she thought. Only it was better than anything she had previously conjured up in her private visualisations about Damon. She delighted in the knowledge she had of co-creating this deliciously intoxicating part of her life.
“Can we do that again sometime?”
“I’ll put some thought into it!” she joked. Her eyes locked onto his as her laughter subsided. “I would like that.”
“And so it is.” He took her in his arms and kissed her again.
After their lips parted, they held each other for a while. Raising herself up on the toes of her white laced kitten heels, Millie wrapped her arms around his neck. Bodies moulded together and hearts beat against each other to the rhythm of their newfound love.
“And so it is,” Millie whispered into his ear.
When Damon had finally left, Millie floated up the steps to the porch, oblivious to the darkness that fell over the house. She was drifting along the tail end of a brilliant white cloud that silently sailed through an azure sky. She let herself in through the front door and quietly made her way to her bedroom where she switched on the bedside lamp and let herself fall back on the bed in a breathless heady plunge. A smile played on her lips as she thought about her date with Damon and what had transpired between them. She replayed over and over the scene on the bus when they had kissed passionately, and his question to her before they had parted. Her heart soared when she luxuriated in thoughts of the desire in his eyes and the urgency of his tongue against hers. This is the best night of my life! she thought.
Millie propped herself up on her bed. Her face began to ache from smiling as she took her journal out of the top drawer of her bedside table and settled herself against her pillows. She was eager to record this highlight of her life before falling asleep. She opened her book, still smiling, and grabbed her pen to start writing. She was startled from her reverie when an envelope fell from between the pages of her journal. She picked it up and turned it over in her hands, recognising her mother’s handwriting with the simple inscribed word on the cover of the paper – “Amelia”. Her first thought was of the possible breach of privacy this envelope represented. Puzzlement replaced annoyance as it dawned on her how unusual it was for her mother to write a letter to her.
She ran her finger under the sealed lip of the envelope and pulled out a folded piece of white-lined paper. Unfolding the paper with her mother’s handwriting scrawled over it, she was surprised when a small, old brass key on a chain of gold was revealed within its folds. She held up the chain with the key, allowing it dangle in front of her. She watched the key swing for a moment, glinting gold as it reflected the light of the lamp beside her. Brows furrowed at what this odd little key unlocked and why her mother would place it in an envelope with a letter for her. And as she watched the key, almost mesmerised by its haunting pendulum motion, a feeling of dread washed over her, extinguishing the joy she had cherished. Placing the key beside her near the lamp, Millie finished unfolding her mother’s letter. Instinctively, she took a deep breath as she began to read the words written for her on an ordinary piece of notepad paper.
Chapter Eight
D earest Millie,
The moment I laid eyes on you and held your tiny body in my arms, my heart was stolen. I became a mother for the first time, and for the first time I felt my life had purpose. I had a family of my own. You will understand one day, when you hold your first child, how it feels to really love another unconditionally and devote yourself to your family. And devote I did. When your brother came along, it was perfectly complete, and we were happy for many years. But nothing stays the same. Even when you feel joy surging through every part of you and know in your heart contentment, and wish you could feel this way forever, still it doesn’t stay the same. Everything is always changing, Millie; wanted or unwanted, the change is relentless. I thought about your questions today, about how much power we have over our lives, and the power of thought. I realise now that all this time I have created my life by default so far, because I have attracted a situation I wish to participate in no longer. I hope you can find it in your heart to understand why I have made the decision to start over, and this time I will be much more conscious of my repeated thoughts and attempt to create my life how I desire. Thank you for bringing to my attention the power we all possess over our life experiences.
I cannot take you and Ace with me, Millie, as much as I would like to. Your father will surely look for us. You don’t know him as I do; he will not stop and I cannot live my days looking over my shoulder in fear. He loves you and Ace very much, and I know he will make sure you two are cared for and happy.
I have enclosed a key with this letter. This key is very important, Millie. I want you to keep it somewhere safe and tell no-one of its existence. The information it unlocks will one day be paramount to you, and when you are older, I shall write to you and direct you to the keyhole it will turn.
Leaving you and Ace is not easy for m
e, but I must leave. When you finally come to know the information the key holds, my dear Millie, you will understand. Until then, know that I will never stop loving you and Ace, and some day we shall reunite again.
Remember my beautiful daughter, you are standing on the brink of the rest of your life. Create it as you want it and always listen to the whisper within you.
Albert Einstein said “Knowledge will get you from A to B, imagination will take you everywhere”.
Use your imagination wisely my sweet Millie. You are special. And you can have anything you desire.
With Love,
Mum xxoo
***
The last words of the letter found difficulty penetrating through the numbing disbelief that engulfed her. Her breath quickened with her heart, as a dizzy sensation clogged her mind. Her body became heavy, pressing into the mattress beneath her like lead. I can’t move! Millie panicked. She willed her legs to move, and they wiggled with a little twitch under her gaze. She ran her eyes to her pink polished toes. Funny toes, she thought. Not like my mother’s long slim skinny toes at all. Where did these toes come from? She perused her toes, as if seeing them for the first time. They were shorter than her mother’s, and the ends seemed to bulge out slightly like ugly little light bulbs. Tears toppled over her cheeks while she studied her toes. Not like Mum’s toes at all. And I will never see her toes again. Millie’s thoughts became frantic. “I hate these toes!” she yelled. How can she leave us? How? Confused, distorted thoughts battled with each other in her mind and all thoughts of toes vanished as she erupted into deep sobs. How can this be happening now? The best night of her life had also become her worst. She cried for the comforting arms of her mother. The familiar emptiness in her stomach drowned in a hollow void of abandonment. She can’t leave me!
She leaped up from her bed and ran to her parents’ room. She flicked the light switch and flung open her mother’s wardrobe to inspect the contents. She paused frozen before the wardrobe as she realised that most of her mother’s belongings were missing, confirming what was written in the letter. She collapsed onto the soft covers of her parents’ bed, scrambling to the side her mother had favoured. It was the side of the bed she had found her beaten up and bleeding only weeks before. Millie slumped over and clutched at the hanging strands of her hair, trying to comprehend exactly what was happening and what this would mean for her and Ace. The noise in her mind overwhelmed her as she rocked forward, gripping and clawing at her head. She didn’t hear the footsteps falling on the tired floorboards over the commotion in her mind, nor her father’s entrance into his bedroom after a long night at work.
