by Kim Petersen
She blinked a few times. ‘You’re Holly?’
The woman grinned. ‘That’s what I told ya,’ she chuckled. ‘Come on, sweetness,’ she said, pushing against the door and tugging at Bella’s arm.
A warm rush of air drifted over Bella’s face as she entered the gallery. She paused and her eyes widened with excitement. A demure scent of burning vanilla candles invaded her sinuses and her eyes rested on an elegant display of sculptures. Drawing nearer, she marvelled at the contrasting parade of graceful designs and rustic edges. There were fine bowls designed from coloured glass, wood carvings, bronzed figures and ceramic treasures; each piece appeared to command its own space, and each provoked an intimate exchange of emotion from her.
She lifted her eyes and smiled as she scanned the canvases and the sheer weave of fabric overhead that twinkled with little lights. She sighed audibly as she soaked in the elegance of the gallery. I’m in heaven!
‘Annabella,’ Holly’s voice interrupted her reverie like an axe splitting through a log.
She was back to earth like a shot. For the first time since she entered the gallery, she noticed there were others in the large room. A young woman was perched behind a slim counter; she held a pen in one hand and was watching Bella curiously. Beside her a little girl appeared absorbed as she doodled intently upon the pages of a scrapbook.
Holly bustled towards her. She had removed her bright coat and Bella smiled when she saw Holly’s attire beneath was just as vivid.
She caught Bella’s hand and tugged. ‘Come Annabella, meet Amelia and Arella,’ she chirped.
Bella allowed herself to be drawn closer to the counter. She noticed the woman’s face light up.
‘Hello Annabella,’ Millie greeted with a finger wave. She turned and gave the girl beside her a gentle nudge. ‘Arella, this is Annabella.’
Arella dragged her eyes from the paper. She frowned briefly as she looked at Millie, who gestured towards Bella. When she turned to Bella, aquamarine eyes ignited beneath thick lashes and her little face broke into a wide grin. Bella caught her smile and returned it with infectious enthusiasm. She grinned at Millie and stared transfixed. For an instant she became aware of what felt like a sudden charge of electricity pumping through her, and the surface of her skin broke out in goosebumps.
‘Hi Bella. Do you like to draw and paint like my mummy?’ Arella quipped, breaking through her hypnotic trance.
Bella lugged her gaze from Millie’s.
Arella drew a deep breath and spoke again before waiting for an answer. ‘I like to draw and I love to paint and some day I’m going to be a famous artist like my mummy. Do you know my mummy is going to be in an important art magazine next month? They came here and they spoke to her and they took photos of her and her paintings. Her paintings are so special, she can even paint the Golden World – and she hasn’t even been there. It’s not ready yet but it will be soon! How great is that?’ she gushed.
Bella laughed. A streak of delight drew across her face and for the first time in a long time, the heaviness in her heart elevated. ‘That is great. I would love to see your mummy’s paintings; would you show me?’
Arella jumped off the stool with a squeal of joy. Little legs skipped to Bella and clasped her hand. ‘Oh yes, c’mon!’ she giggled.
She hesitated as she glanced at Millie for acknowledgment.
‘I have a quick meeting out back in the studio. Rella, I’ll be back in ten minutes … be kind to Annabella’s ears, okay,’ she said, winking as she rose to her feet.
‘Okay, mummy!’ Arella piped, pulling on Bella’s hand and leading her to the other side of the gallery where canvases adorned the walls and stood alone on the perch of cast iron easels.
Bella glanced back at Millie. ‘Oh, call me Bella,’ she called before laughing and allowing Arella to drag her away.
Millie gently blew into the milky liquid. She studied the small ripples that quaked over the hot surface as she continued to blow into her hot chocolate. The velvety liquid hastily became subject to her artist’s mind, and images of billowing water curling over the tip of a glass flushed through her vividly. Angels … she mused. Oh, I could place a charming little cherub in a glass of cascading champagne! The idea felt good to her.
A blank canvas on her easel beckoned. Her fingers itched for her paints and brushes. She was just about on her feet when a light tap at the door interrupted her intention. Craig’s tall frame swallowed the crack in the doorway.
She brushed a long lock of dark hair behind her ear while allowing the tips of her fingers to linger within the wispy ends. ‘It’s good to see you,’ she murmured.
Her fingers began to twirl.
A few long strides and he was near her. The scent of his familiar cologne filled her senses, and for a moment all she wanted to do was fall into the security of his arms. Instead, her gaze fell and she began to purposefully focus on the dried-up splatters of paint that decorated the wooden floor. She could feel his eyes trail over her as if they caressed her skin with a dripping of honey.
‘Millie,’ he said.
She was surprised to hear no animosity clouding his voice. It was the raw emotion that drifted through his soft tone that tore her eyes from the floor.
He reached out and clasped her hands within his. ‘I’m sorry for making you feel ashamed,’ he said.
She shook her head. ‘No Craig. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let it get that far with Damon. Not before I squared things off with you … it just happened so fast, and …’ she stammered.
Craig’s chuckle stopped her short. ‘You didn’t do wrong by me. I’ve had a lot of time to think on this. On the contrary, you have always been upfront.’ Shoulder-length curls draggled with the shake of his head over his black trench coat. ‘It was me holding onto you – even though you were honest and broke off the engagement. I can’t fault you, Millie. I did this to me,’ he said pensively.
He squeezed her hands gently and when he smiled she recognised the melancholy in his eyes.
‘I didn’t want to let go of you,’ he whispered. ‘You are like the spark in my soul.’ He searched her eyes for resolution.
Without warning, Millie broke down into tears. ‘Oh Craig!’ she murmured between the sobs that caught in her throat.
She threw herself into his embrace while a flood of emotion overcame her. I do love you! I do! Her mind tangled with the words, yet she knew she couldn’t say it out loud. It wouldn’t be fair to him.
Craig stroked the back of her hair and held her close. She leaned against his chest and closed her eyes. The thump of his heart beat loudly in her ear with a consistent thud and as Millie focused her attention on the pulsation that resonated through her, she felt herself lull into a state of nostalgia. She wound her arms around him tighter and sighed. Letting him go was harder than she had anticipated, and part of her wasn’t quite ready to loosen to thread between them. But then again, part of me never will be ready to let him go. How do you say goodbye to someone you still love?
She felt him stiffen under her embrace.
‘Millie,’ Craig mumbled.
He swept his lips over the top of her head and inhaled deeply before extracting himself from her arms. She caught the yearning in his eyes as she peered up to him. They stood transfixed in silence, neither of them eager to bring an end to their time together, yet there was an air of awkwardness that hung between them.
Craig spun on his feet and began to shuffle around the studio as if inspecting its contents for the first time. He cleared his throat. ‘So, are you going to be with him now?’ he said. He did not look at her.
Millie grabbed a fistful of hair. Her stomach churned with the answer she knew he didn’t want to hear. When she didn’t respond he paused his self-imposed tour and looked at her.
She nodded her head slightly. ‘Yes,’ she murmured.
He returned her nod thoughtfully. A shot of pain tore through his eyes and penetrated into her heart.
‘Does he know about Arella?’
he said.
She barely heard his murmured question over the plummeting of the rain that had begun to pelt against the windows and the tin roof of the studio. Her gut felt hollow and she turned away from him. More than anything she knew he was reluctant to dissolve from her daughter’s life. More than anything she knew how much he had longed for Arella to be his own child.
‘Not yet,’ she confessed.
‘You need to tell him, Millie,’ he said.
His voice sliced through the guilt that smeared her thoughts.
She turned to meet his stare and offered him a timid smile. ‘I know,’ she said. Her expression creased with her frown. ‘I know it will be hard for you … I want you to know there will always be a place in Arella’s life for you – if you’d like it, of course.’
‘And yours? Will there be a place for me in your life?’ he replied.
The intense longing in his stare was as transparent as a pane of glass.
Millie sighed. She became aware of why he lingered. She grinned as a flood of relief washed through her. ‘Nobody could ever replace you,’ she said.
She was as hesitant to see Craig disappear from her life just as he was reluctant to no longer play a part in hers. Perhaps she didn’t need to say goodbye after all.
She grinned. ‘Everything will be okay, promise.’
He approached and reached for her hands. His eyes appeared mellowed as they locked onto and searched hers. He gave her a gentle squeeze as they exchanged a thousand moments shared and treasured between them, and a golden thread of emotions elicited through their eyes in silence. The significance of their time together was branded on their hearts with a sacred mark.
A smile swept across his lips. ‘I know, Millie-pie,’ he murmured.
They dashed from the studio and through the back door of the gallery as fast as they could, finding themselves drenched despite the short stint of rain that assaulted them.
‘Craig!’ Arella squealed.
Her little legs made rapid pace as she ran to him and flung herself into his waiting arms.
Millie watched them for a moment. A stab of nostalgia found her smiling when she noticed Craig’s closed eyes against the unruly twist of Arella’s dark hair.
Arella squirmed under his tight grasp. ‘I missed you. Mummy said you’ve been very busy, but I don’t like it when I can’t see you,’ she said.
Craig smiled. ‘I’m sorry, Rella. I missed you too,’ he replied, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a lollypop. ‘Will this make it better?’ he asked.
She began to sway in a half twist as she eyed the lolly pop. ‘Hmm … maybe a little, thank you!’ she said, accepting it.
She giggled. ‘Come and meet my new friend, Bella. We’re having hot chocolate and cookies!’
She flitted away from them, lollypop in mouth.
Millie and Craig walked to where Holly, Bella and Arella sat together by the shop front window. They had rearranged a few pieces of French provincial chairs to encircle a delicately crafted wooden coffee table laden with over-sized mugs of hot chocolate and fine boned china plates with cookies. The graceful sounds of Mozart drifted through the air in muted tones.
Millie grinned. ‘Looks like we’re having a mad tea party,’ she joked.
When Bella glanced over her shoulder as they approached, Millie felt a jolt ripple through her body. She drew in a sharp breath and paused. Her brows furiously knitted together as she racked her brain in a muddle. She’s so familiar.
Bella stood. She smiled at seeing Craig and walked towards them. ‘Craig, hello,’ she said.
Millie’s frown deepened with the dredging blush that flushed over Bella’s face. She knows Craig?
His face kindled as the two exchanged greetings and instantly fell into conversation. Millie left them to it and joined Holly and Arella at the tea party.
She gestured towards them. ‘What’s going on there?’ she said to Holly.
Holly grinned mysteriously. ‘The grand phenomena of synchronicity at its very best,’ she rasped.
Millie scrutinised Craig and Bella before glancing back at Holly. ‘How do you mean?’ she said.
Holly clasped her long colourful beads and leaned in close. Her brown eyes twinkled. ‘Don’t you see what I see?’ she whispered.
Millie took another look at them. She noted Craig’s erect stance as he leaned in towards Bella and the animated glow in his warm eyes as he met her gaze. She noticed Bella grasping at her hair and gazing up at him coyly while they chatted about how she had come to be at the gallery. Each of them broke into laughter easily.
‘She’s an artist too, you know,’ Holly said in a low voice in her ear. ‘She crafts sculptures. Apparently, Craig had given her my card. She didn’t call me though … oh no, we met by chance down at the bay this morning, and …’
Holly’s murmurs fell muted in her ear as she continued to watch them. An awkwardness insinuated its way through her and she couldn’t tear her eyes away from them. She was unaccustomed to the feelings that invaded her, and when she realised their origin was from a vivid spike of possessiveness, she felt bewildered.
She shook her head and turned away. ‘We don’t know this girl,’ she said cynically.
It was Holly’s turn to be astonished. ‘Amelia! I am quite surprised. This is very unlike you indeed.’
Millie looked at her before lowering her head. ‘I know. Give me a break. I guess I’m not used to this kind of thing,’ she shrugged.
Holly chuckled. ‘Everything will be okay, sweetness,’ she said, gently patting her back.
Millie smiled to herself. Hadn’t I just said the same words to Craig? she thought. She regarded her daughter who was immersed in her drawings on the floor near them. Paper, colouring books, scissors and markers were spread around her in an organised mess. Her dark hair fell to one side and swept over the floor with the small movements of her head.
Arella sensed her mother’s eyes on her and turned briefly to look towards her. Her eyes sparkled with the dazzle of her smile before turning her attention back to her art. The gesture reminded Millie of her daughter’s father.
She turned to Holly suddenly. ‘Would you mind watching her for a couple of hours?’ she said.
‘Of course, sweetness. Where are you going?’
A wave of determination crossed her features. ‘I have to go and tell Damon something I should have told him long ago.’
‘Oh! Are you sure, dear?’ she said.
She rose to her feet and leaned over to give Holly a light kiss. ‘Yep, thanks Holly,’ she said.
She had never been more certain of anything.
Millie took a deep breath before pressing the buzzer to Damon’s front door. Since his return to Australia, she had not made the short distance to his apartment and knew he’d be surprised to see her.
She fidgeted about impatiently. Now that she’d decided to tell him Arella was his daughter, every second seemed like an eternity.
‘C’mon … c’mon,’ she uttered, jamming the buzzer again.
This time she heard the fall of footsteps as they approached the other side of the door. A slight jingle of the safety chain met her ears and seemed to be a prolonged action. She rolled her eyes. She was ready to open her mouth and express her growing impatience with the opening of the door when she caught sight of an unexpected view.
She gasped. Words failed her.
The woman standing before her wore a slightly amused expression. She was much taller than Millie, and despite the cold wet weather outside, her long legs were exhibited in a short miniskirt and stiletto heels. Turquoise eyes creased under a mountain of make-up; her smile was aloof.
‘You must be Millie,’ she purred.
Even her voice is smooth, Millie thought with distaste. She nodded.
Wine coloured lips widened. ‘Thought as much. I’ve heard a lot about you,’ she said.
She filled up the doorway with the length of her body and made no move to budge. The perfect arch of her brows
raised, and her smile widened as she flicked back her long mane of blonde hair and leaned on the door frame.
‘You’ve just missed him,’ she said coolly. ‘He had an urgent meeting with another client.’
Millie’s expression dropped. ‘Oh,’ she stammered.
The woman nodded and inspected her long, varnished nails. ‘Hmm … I know it may come as a shock, but he does have other clients that are just as important as you,’ she said.
Millie’s brows raised. ‘I’m sorry, who are you?’ she said finally.
‘I’m Selina,’ she said with a short smile.
The expression of puzzlement on Millie’s face was obvious.
Selina made an audible “tsk” sound while her lavishly thick lashes squinted together. ‘Selina. I’m Damon’s assistant,’ she said, emphasising her statement with an irritable shake of her head.
Millie’s gave a look of mock surprise. ‘Oh, Selina …’
Selina gave a curt nod.
‘Yeah … that’s right,’ Millie threw her hands in the air. ‘I did not even know you existed until now!’
Selina took a sharp breath. Her eyes narrowed.
She recovered quickly and smirked. ‘Well, Damon isn’t the type to kiss and tell. I like that about him,’ she said.
Millie eyed her while she attempted to mask the heart that sank within her.
A hand grasped and tangled in a fistful of hair. ‘I guess it’s a trait that serves him well,’ she mumbled.
She glinted with triumph. ‘Can I give him a message for you?’
She straightened her amazon-like body and smoothed down imaginary creases in her pencil skirt. With an exaggerated flick of her long hair, she evened her head and directed her gaze at Millie expectantly.
Millie shook her head slowly. ‘No. I’ll catch him another time,’ she said, turning to leave.
‘Millie,’ Selina called back.
She paused at the top of the staircase and reluctantly turned to look.
