“What's the problem, baby?”
“I don't have a problem,” Kass stopped outside the car door, staring at him. “Do you mind? I need to clear my head.”
“Hey.” He stepped in front of her, blocking the driver’s side door. “Tell me what the problem is.” When he lifted his hand to her face, Kass pulled away.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said, trying to slip past him.
“I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”
Kass could see he was sobering up, and that made her angrier than any terrifyingly drunken escapade he’d performed tonight. Here he was, the compassionate man she loved, and now everything could be beautiful again in his perfect little world.
“Ryan, not now, okay?” Kass reached for the door handle once more, but he beat her to it, grabbing the keys in her hand to pry them from her fingers.
“What were you doing in the bathroom?” he said. “You were in there too long.”
“What are you talking about?” She said carefully, but she already knew where the conversation was going. Her cutting was no secret to him, and he hated it as much as she hated herself for it.
“You know what I’m talking about. Is that what you were doing in there? Hurting yourself?”
“It’s none of your fucking business,” she pulled her sleeves down further to hide the brand-new gashes, heat rising to her neck with shame.
“It is my business. You’re my fiancée. I care about you.”
“You care about me,” Kass repeated. She was cold now, standing out in the rain, pelted by the chilly droplets. The water soaked straight through her layers of clothing and chilled her core. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked at Ryan. “So, you’re the only person allowed to hurt me, is that it?”
Silence settled between them, a silence so heavy it weighed on her chest, forcing her to catch a breath before she passed out. Ryan stepped forward and leaned in, just slightly, but it was enough to make her stomach tighten with apprehension. His lips were near her ear, one hand reaching to take hold of her upper arm in a gentle but warning grip.
“Not tonight, Kass,” he said. “We won’t discuss this here.”
She hated his tone, the way he tried to belittle her, speak to her like she was a child on the verge of a punishment. She pulled her arm away from him, and he let her do so. No way would he hurt her out here, where they were fair game for prying eyes or passing drunks. No, not here. He wasn’t that stupid.
“Why can’t we discuss this here? Why won’t you help yourself, Ryan? You say you love me, so prove it.”
For a weak moment, Kass had the urge to pull him into her, to kiss him and plead with him and ask him why their relationship was in such shambles and why he wanted so desperately to hurt her. But she didn't. Instead, she pried the keys from Ryan’s fingers and slipped past him, sliding into the driver’s seat to turn on the car. She wanted him to stop her, to talk to her, to tell her that, yes, he would get into therapy and, yes, he loved her more than he loved the bottom of the bottle.
But he didn’t. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and hovered near the open door. “Where are you going?”
Kass hesitated. “I have things to think about.”
As she drove, tears streamed down her face, blurring her vision. She hated feeling this way, an unfortunate victim. She’d always pitied those battered women she heard about; the moms and daughters and wives stuck in controlling and demeaning relationships, romantic or otherwise. It was sad, and it was heartbreaking, but even more, it was pathetic.
No, Kass was pathetic. She was these women, the wife with the bruised eye and the daughter with the fat lip. She was the woman that Kass herself had often pitied in her field of work, the girl whose hand she held, reassuring her, after another violent bout with a boyfriend. She was no better than any of them, and she knew it.
Her acceptance into medical school had been such a short-lived celebration. For a moment, reading that letter, she’d felt like maybe it would all be okay, and things would somehow come together like the warped fairy tale she’d always dreamed of. They’d be a beautiful couple, she and Ryan; successful, married, and most of all, happy. One day they’d have children, and Ryan would be as devoted to them as she hoped he would be to her. He’d love them and cherish them and give them whatever they wanted.
Until he took his first drink, anyway, and then they’d be back to square one.
She had to end it with him. It was time. Their relationship was only getting worse, not better, and Kass couldn’t fathom spending the next sixty years living with his violent mood swings while he only got worse. Anger was replacing her fear, and it was time to rip off the Band-Aid, time to leave before it was too late. She’d seen the movies; she knew the turn these things eventually took.
The rain came down hard, pounding on the roof, drowning out the sound of the radio in the background. Kass drove fast, hitting wet spots on the asphalt, feeling the SUV skim over the water at a dangerous speed. But she kept going. She wanted nothing more than to get away from the pain and heartache that consumed her life.
A sound like a gunshot reverberated through the car, shaking the SUV savagely. Kass let up on the gas, cursing, knowing all-too-well that a tire had just popped on Ryan’s car. As she eased the vehicle to the side of the road, a Mustang roared past, leaning on their horn. Kass put up her middle finger and slammed the vehicle into park, resting her head on the steering wheel in defeat. She couldn’t bear to call and ask Ryan for help, especially after the argument they’d just had. She was tired, it was still pouring rain, and the last thing she wanted to do was change the fucking tire.
She didn’t know how long she’d been sitting there behind the wheel of SUV when there was a rap on the window. She started, heart leaping in her throat as she turned to see a hooded figure standing outside the window. She rolled it down, droplets of rain hitting her face.
“Hey,” the man called through the rain. He wore a zipped black jacket, the hood drawn up over his head and a tattered backpack slung over one shoulder. “Do you need a hand?”
He didn’t remove his hood, but Kass could see his features. He was young, a year or two older than she was, maybe. His dark hair poked out in disarray around his forehead, and a five o’clock shadow was appearing on his narrow chin. Dark bangs shadowed his magnificent blue eyes, and when he looked at her, Kass felt as though this stranger standing in front of her was looking straight through her.
“Uh. Yeah, thank you.” She tore her gaze from the guy’s face and got out of the car, forgetting momentarily about the drama with Ryan. The guy dropped his bag and helped her retrieve the spare tire and jack from the back of the SUV. As Kass handed the jack to him, their fingers brushed, and a small tremor of desire traveled down her arm. Her breath caught in her throat, heart thumping wildly against her chest. The man’s eyes fixated on her face, drifting from her squinted gaze, and down to the lip she was absentmindedly chewing on.
“No problem,” he said and pulled his hand away from hers. Kass stepped back, swaying, trying to gain composure. She cleared her throat and focused on the sound of the rain to force her back to reality.
“I appreciate the help,” she said. “One of those days, you know?”
The guy scoffed as he kneeled to get to work on the tire, but a smirk was playing on his lips. Kass once again found her eyes searching the dark lines on his face for a few seconds too long.
“Yeah,” he said. “I know how that goes.”
Since he didn’t offer his name, Kass didn’t ask. She stood back instead, admiring the way his hands worked confidently and flawlessly on the car, even in the rain. They were rough and calloused hands, worn tough by years of demanding work. At one point, just briefly, the stranger removed his hood to push back his disarray of black hair, and Kass felt a warm puddle of drool pool beneath her tongue.
“Just take it slow on the way home,” he told her when he finished. He tossed the flat tire into the back of the SUV for di
sposal and then turned to smile at her. The stubble on his face made her want to run her hands over his chin, and she cursed herself for even thinking like that. Despite her plan to end things with Ryan, she was not an unfaithful woman, especially not with a stranger she didn’t even know.
“I appreciate the help,” she said again, drawing her hand behind her back so she wouldn’t go in for a hug or something. “Thank you.”
“No worries.” The guy patted the hood of the car. “Good luck, huh? I hope the night gets better for you.” He picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder as Kass got into the SUV and fished for the keys in her pocket.
As she tinkered with the ignition, the thought of going home to Ryan sat heavy in her stomach. She exhaled and closed her eyes, watching the man walk away from her. Above them, another clash of thunder shook the sky, and the rain got thicker. Kass started the engine and rolled down the window.
“Hey!” she called. She stuck her head out the window, ignoring the pelting of rain against her face. “Do you want a ride?”
The guy turned back to her, hands in his pockets. He tilted his head to the side as if pondering this. Then he smiled. He had an endearing smile, and it made her skin tingle.
“That would be great,” he said. “Thanks.”
Chapter Four
Kass unlocked the doors and turned up the heat as the man slid into the passenger's side of the car, dripping wet from the storm. She caught the lingering odor of cigarettes on his clothes, mixed with the refreshing scent of rain, and the sudden desire to lean into him and bury her head in his chest was both horrifying and humiliating.
“I appreciate it,” he said. He shut the door and reached for the seat belt. “You’d be shocked at how many people just don’t give a damn anymore.”
“Shocked I am not,” Kass said, merging back onto the freeway. “But you saved my ass by helping me out, so it’s the least I could do.”
The man flipped off the hood and smiled at her, his lips curling into a self-assured grin. She knew that look. Cocky, arrogant, but mostly sexy.
“I’m Logan.”
“Kass,” she said.
“Nice to meet you.” He half-smiled again, and Kass noticed how alluring Logan’s deep, rumbling tone was to her. Ryan was a handsome man, but there was something different about Logan, something that captivated her attention from the very moment she’d laid eyes on him.
“Where are you headed?” Kass tore her gaze from tired lines in his face. Getting hot and bothered with the new guy was not on her agenda for the night, even if he was cute enough to make her tingle in the most inappropriate of places.
“Wherever I can get,” Logan said. He settled back into the seat but offered nothing else.
“That won’t be far,” Kass said. “But I can take you into town, save you about ten miles.”
“Great, thanks.”
“Are you from around here?”
“Seattle,” he said. “That's where I live.”
“What are you doing in Lakewood?” The town she lived in was forty miles out of the city, if not more, and it was clear that he’d been walking for hours.
“Just walking through.”
“In the rain?”
“Yes.”
“And the dark?”
“Yes.”
“Away from home and not to it?”
“Yes,” Logan said. He met her gaze. Those electric blue eyes were flashing—with what, she couldn’t tell. “Do you always ask so many questions?”
“Yes. I hate small talk, but I hate awkward silences even more.”
“So, you just can’t win,” Logan said.
“I’m just trying to be friendly.” Kass raised one hand from the wheel in surrender, knowing that if they weren’t making conversation, she’d be left to her own devices, none of which her fiancé would be happy to hear about.
“Don't try so hard,” Logan said. He was still looking at her; his eyebrows furrowed as though trying to read a story in the lines etched on her face. “It doesn't suit you.”
“What doesn’t suit me?” she asked. “Trying to be friendly?”
“Yes, that. It seems like you’d rather do anything but be friendly.”
“You make me sound like I appear a total bitch,” Kass said.
“Not a bitch,” Logan corrected her. “Just… tenacious.”
“That’s a big word.”
“Sometimes I study the dictionary for something to do.” Logan tilted his head to study her, eyes unblinking, taking her in. He smiled again, and Kass felt a warm tingling sensation up and down her spine. She pursed her lips and turned her attention back to the road so she wouldn’t get them into an accident.
As they drove in silence, Logan's foot tapped restlessly against the floor mat. Kass glanced over at him, trying not to stare as he fidgeted. He seemed anxious, edgy, but he’d already clarified that he wasn’t up to discussing his little adventure with her. Even seemingly antsy, she couldn’t draw her side eye away from the disheveled black hair he kept running a hand through. A nervous tick, it must have been.
A moment later, Logan dug into the backpack he'd been carrying and pulled out a damp pack of cigarettes. Kass cringed, about to tell him not to light up, but then remembered the night she'd just had with Ryan, and all fucks flew out the window.
“Mind if I bum one?” she said instead. Logan took two out of the pack, lighting hers and then his. Smoking had never been her thing, but since she didn't have the sharp edge of a razor blade handy, the menthols would have to do.
Kass took a drag on the cigarette, eyes watering as the stale smoke hit her lungs. She gagged, and Logan reached over to slap her on the back a few times as she struggled to catch her breath.
“Wrong pipe,” she gasped. As she fought to combat the sharp tickle in her throat, she rubbed her chest. When she pulled her hand away, Logan was staring at her.
“What happened there?” he asked.
Kass could only assume he wasn’t talking about her breasts because, as a woman, she had no control over any aspect of that nature.
“I bruise easy,” she said. She zipped up her jacket to hide the mark. “I don’t know. Maybe I ran into a door.”
“Chest first?” Logan asked. “Or did it attack you before you could attack it?”
The flush in Kass’s skin was no longer out of lust, but degradation and shame. This stranger was reading her like an open book, and she hated that. Not even Abby had noticed the little things like the bruises and the cuts in all the years they’d known each other.
“Is there somewhere you'd like me to take you?”
Logan was sitting back in the seat now, still tapping his foot, the cigarette burning between his fingers. She squirmed under his gaze, unsure if the heat flash engulfing her was due to shame, or if she still wanted to jump his bones.
“You’re staring at me,” she said. “Knock it off.”
He didn’t, not at once, but after a moment he rolled down the window and flicked the cigarette out into the rain. Kass did the same, realizing that it had done little for her besides make her mouth taste bad and Ryan's car smell like a bar. He would be so pleased when she returned it to him.
“You can drop me off wherever,” Logan said.
The rain had lifted, though not by much, and Kass knew it was only a matter of time before it was thundering down on them again. The cold and wet was plentiful in Washington, not that she minded. It suited her mood just fine most of the time.
“This is as far as I go,” Kass said as she eased the SUV into the tiny town of Lakewood. “Sorry I couldn't be more help.”
She pulled to the curb and turned off the engine, disappointed that she wouldn't be seeing this kid around anymore. He seemed like good company, and he was easy on the eyes, but something about him took away every ounce of common sense and control she thought she had.
“Thanks for the ride,” Logan said. “Sorry about your bruise. Don’t, you know, fall into any more doors. No one deserves that
shit. Kill the door.”
Silence settled between them as they stared at each other. Kass’s cheeks flared again, and she had to suck in a mouthful of air to keep breathing regularly. She opened her mouth to reply to his comment, then thought better of it and closed it. She averted her gaze back to the windshield, squinting into the darkness as her eyes caught sight of the deputy's patrol car lit up near the convenience store. The lights were blurry through the rain, but there was no mistaking them.
“Must be another robbery from one of the punk kids,” she said. Her hands shook as she tried to detour the conversation in another direction. She cleared her throat and rolled down the window a crack. The icy wind hit her face, and she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Beside her, Logan hesitated in his seat, his gaze following hers, eyes catching sight of the same flashing lights.
“Cops.”
Kass didn’t know if he was talking to her or himself. “Lakewood's finest.”
The slight buzz from the alcohol was wearing off, and Kass wanted to go back to the party and get smashed, with or without Ryan. Get drunk, fall into bed, and try to sleep, then wake up and go to class. Every day, all day, like a recurring moment in time.
Groundhog Day.
Lost in her thoughts, it took a moment for Kass to fathom that there was no immediate reaction from beside her. As she averted her eyes from the flashing lights in front of them and looked at Logan, her heart fluttered against her rib-cage. She knew there was something wrong before it even happened. She could feel it—like walking into a graveyard at night or footsteps in an empty house. Before she could open her mouth to speak, however, Logan made his move. Something sharp pressed against the side of her abdomen, and she sucked in a breath so quick and hard she almost choked.
Logan leaned over the seat, his breath hot on her neck, the smell of cigarettes and rain no longer subtle, but sharp, stifling her.
“Turn on the car and drive us out of here right now, or I’ll have to kill you.”
Capture Me Page 3
