by KJ Harlow
Yoshi turned around. “Which one is it?”
Spence reached over and pointed at the screen. “This one.”
OPGF Capture: Scardino - Reward 200,000 Coins
“I thought that was a typo,” Yoshi laughed. “If you created that mission it makes complete sense.”
“What do you mean?”
Because you’re fucking loaded and never had to work a day in your life.
“Never mind. What’s a Scardino?”
“It’s a two-star rarity girlfriend I saw in the Abandoned Glasshouse. Most trainers who come back here to beat the Sapphire Gym get their grass-types out past that way.”
Yoshi stared at the mission reward. 200,000 Coins… surely that would be enough to let him buy at least a lower-end model of the GF-wiki.
“So what, you want someone to catch this Scardino for you?”
“Yeah. She’s crazy powerful though, level 62. Probably higher now. Last time I was there, I watched her take down all five of this one guy’s girlfriends. Trainers from around here know the girlfriend I’m talking about. You’d think that a reward that high would get people to bite but seems like most trainers are pussies.”
“Let’s go together,” Yoshi said. “You and me. She took down one trainer, but surely she can’t take down two trainers at the same time.”
Spence stared at him. “That’s such a stupid idea, dude.” A smile formed on his face. “So stupid that it might just work.”
6
Reunion Of The Topaz Trio
You have defeated Trainer Pete!
Crystal gained 542 Exp. Points!
Crystal is now Level 10!
Starry gained 542 Exp. Points!
You have received 267 Coins for winning!
Crystal held her double-fisted hero pose a few seconds longer before standing back. The left over energy of her Charge attack licked her knuckles before dissipating.
Frank, it felt good to be on the giving end of that. Flashbacks of the Celeste Caverns consumed Yoshi’s mind. Images of Ivan’s Crystal crunching her fists into a newly evolved – and revived – Serenette before the demon hounds of the Federal Elite Strike Squad flooded his mind. Before this battle, Yoshi had witnessed Serenette effortlessly defeat Pete’s girlfriends with Siren Song. He couldn’t help but smile; she had come a long way from being the scared, confused Starlotte back in Topaz.
“Yoshi.”
Yoshi blinked. His Crystal was standing in front of him, battle bruises on her arms. Trainer Pete had already withdrawn his fallen girlfriends and was now holding his smartphone up to Yoshi, disappointment etched on his face.
Yoshi fished his phone out and touched it to his opponent’s. “GG.”
Trainer Pete mumbled something and started heading back down Route 41 towards Sapphire.
Yoshi looked back at his rock-type, her stats appearing next to her face automatically:
NAME: Crystal
NATURE: Unflappable
TYPE: Rock
ACC.: NIL
LEVEL: 10
HP: 25/44
- ATTACK: 16
- DEFENCE: 23
- SPCL ATTACK: 19
- SPCL DEFENCE: 24
- SPEED: 10
MOVESET:
Boulder Punch - Type: Rock - 28/30 PP (Strike with a earth shattering force)
Charge - Type: Normal - 29/30 PP (Bide energy for two turns before unleashing it on the third. Deals triple SPCL ATTACK)
“Felt good to finally use Charge, huh?”
She combed the hair out of her eyes and nodded.
Yoshi unlocked ring #1 from his belt. “Starry, come out.” Seconds later, the interstellar-type was standing there. It still amazed him how quickly girlfriends got changed inside their rings. She was wearing a fresh T-shirt and her usual white skinny jeans.
NAME: Serenette (Starry)
NATURE: Reserved
TYPE: Interstellar
ACC.: Cat Eyes Tee
LEVEL: 21
HP: 56/72
- ATTACK: 21
- DEFENCE: 17
- SPCL ATTACK: 23
- SPCL DEFENCE: 23
- SPEED: 19
MOVESET:
Gaze - Type: Normal - 30/30 PP (Lower defence by staring into opponent’s eyes, stun effect for 3 seconds.
Siren Song - Type: Interstellar - 27/30 PP (Devastates foes with a hope-dashing song, 40% chance of confusion.)
“How are you feeling?” Yoshi asked.
“Good,” she said with a smile. She looked to the rock-type. “Good work, Crystal.” Yoshi’s other girlfriend nodded again.
“Yosh!” Yoshi, Crystal and Starry turned to Spence. He was trailed by Vara, his grass-type starter and Moxie, a bug-type that resembled a moth. Remnants of gold powder shimmered off Moxie’s wings, which gave off a dull humming sound as they rapidly flapped. “How did you go?”
“Yeah, no sweat,” Yoshi responded. “Good to be battling again. You?”
Spence threw his arms out and cupped Vara’s and Moxie’s waist on either side of him. “My girls eat little shits for breakfast. That bug catcher didn’t stand a chance.”
Your girls eat shit for breakfast? Yoshi grinned at Spence’s girlfriends.
“We wouldn’t be so good at it if we didn’t have such a good trainer to show us how to do it.” Vara said, tossing her long, viney, braided hair back, not missing a beat. Moxie busied herself cleaning her antennae, trying not to giggle.
“OK, let’s keep going,” Yoshi said. “That’s it over there, right?” About 200 yards away was a large, glass structure. Yoshi assumed it was glass, anyway. Even from this distance, he could see that there was so much greenery compacted inside it that some parts, trees were growing right out of the building.
“Why is there a glasshouse out this way, anyway?” Yoshi asked.
Spence shrugged. “Beats me. All I know is that whoever’s been looking after it hasn’t visited in a long time and that there are plenty of wild girlfriends in there.”
Grey clouds rolled across the sky like a large, gray, fluffy blanket, right over the glasshouse. “Ugh. I do know that if we don’t head on into it soon, we’re going to be drenched.”
“Right, let me first…” Yoshi focused on Spence for a second and a prompt came up.
You have joined Spence’s party!
He glanced at Spence’s girlfriends and their full stats appeared:
NAME: Vara
NATURE: Shrewd
TYPE: Grass
ACC.: NIL
LEVEL: 19
HP: 55/67
- ATTACK: 20
- DEFENCE: 19
- SPCL ATTACK: 22
- SPCL DEFENCE: 19
- SPEED: 15
MOVESET:
Braid Whip - Type: Grass - 23/30 PP (Whip vine-like hair at high speeds, 5% chance of paralysis)
Shoulder Charge - Type: Normal - 28/30 PP (Ram foes with your shoulder)
NAME: Moxie (Boxie)
NATURE: Quirky
TYPE: Bug
ACC.: NIL
LEVEL: 18
HP: 43/56
- ATTACK: 19
- DEFENCE: 16
- SPCL ATTACK: 18
- SPCL DEFENCE: 17
- SPEED: 19
MOVESET:
Stun Powder - Type: Grass - 28/30 PP (Expel golden powder that, upon contact, can paralyze girlfriends for up to three turns, 60% chance of paralysis)
Leech - Type: Bug - 22/25 PP (Drain HP from foes and add it to drainer’s HP)
Shoulder Charge - Type: Normal - 26/30 PP (Ram foes with your shoulder)
“Alright, let’s go.”
The two trainers and four girlfriends picked up the pace, heading towards the gargantuan glass structure. Big, fat droplets of rain started to fall.
“Ah fuck, my hair.” Spence growled. “The day I don’t wax too…”
There was a trainer standing by the entrance to the glasshouse, looking up at the sky. A red-headed girlfriend stood by his side. She stuck her
hand out and yanked it back in when water fell on it, wrinkling her nose in distaste.
“Looks like he’s not going any – wait, Asshat?”
“Who’s–? Oh, Yoshi!” The wide-loaded trainer turned side-on to let them come through. “And Spence. What are you guys doing here?”
“Could be asking you the same thing,” Spence responded. He stood up a bit taller, puffing his chest out. Asshat didn’t pay him any attention, instead fixating his eyes on Yoshi’s Serenette.
“Your girlfriend’s evolved.” He pulled out his GF-wiki and pointed it at Yoshi’s girlfriend.
“Yours has too,” Yoshi responded. Charmaine – or the girlfriend who used to be Charmaine – not only had wilder, red fur with yellow tips, she also had sharp fangs purpose-built for ripping meat off bone. She licked the back of her hand, enjoying the attention she was getting from the other trainers and their girlfriends. Spence kept his arms crossed, not bothering to take his GF-wiki out.
She cocked her head slightly, looking directly at Yoshi. Her basic details appeared:
NAME: Cashardra
LEVEL: 25
HP: 68/81
Asshat slipped his back into his pocket. “There was a shit storm outside Mr. Pampers yesterday. Whole heap of dead Starlottes appeared out of nowhere.”
“They weren’t dead,” Starry said, voice slightly strained.
“They were just unconscious,” Yoshi said, putting a hand around his girlfriend’s waist. “The FESS came down from Amethyst and busted a Team Boom operation happening illegally in the Celeste Caverns. That was why we couldn’t go through from Onyx.”
“But Yosh here managed to,” Spence said, nudging Yoshi.
“Errr yeah. Apparently Ivan Tozuck got roped in and was taken away by FESS.”
“Wait, that was him?” Asshat said, furrowing his brow. “I thought I saw a guy who looked like him being bundled into a dark van by a couple of Chernoires around the police station.”
“Who’s he?” Spence asked.
“He’s in our cohort,” Yoshi said, turning to his party member. “He had a deal with the Professor to do research for him and also be a trainer. Well, he did.”
“Damn…” Asshat said. The three of them stood there in silence. Rain beat down on the moldy glass, and trickled through cracks onto the mossy ground. “So you guys here just to train, or…”
“We’re actually here to–”
“Yeah, we are. Going to take on the gym leader back in Sapphire. What were you up to here?” Spence demanded.
“I… was just training as well. Well actually, I completed a mission and am now going back to the Guild to claim my reward.”
“What mission?” It looked like it took everything in Spence’s power not to wrap his hands around Asshat’s throat and throttle him right then and there. Yoshi could feel the heat emanating off his skin.
“Why?” Asshat said, elongating the word. “Is there something I should know?”
“Don’t mind my trainer,” Vara, Spence’s grass-type said. “He’s lost a locket with a picture of him and his mom in it and is feeling a bit distressed. Have you seen it here?”
The silence amongst the group was heavier than the humidity that clung in the air.
“I haven’t seen anything like that, though I’ll make sure to keep an eye out for it next time,” Asshat said. He turned to Spence. “You should have just said that from the get go. Ease up, dude.” He clapped his hand onto Spence’s tense bicep. “But you guys want to be careful. Trainers are saying that there’s some kind of seriously strong grass-type girlfriend in here. I hear it’s a reptile woman or something. Girlfriends that she’s taken down have had to go into ICU.”
“Asshat.” He looked towards his scaly, red-headed girlfriend. “The rain’s stopping.” She put her hand out tentatively and held it outside.
“Sweet. OK, well good luck looking for your necklace or whatever. Might see you around Sapphire again, yeah? Smell ya later.” Asshat walked out of the glasshouse, Cashardra trailing behind. She looked back over her shoulder, winking in Yoshi’s direction.
Starry stepped in front of her trainer and covered his eyes with her hands. “You’re not allowed to look at her.”
Yoshi clasped her wrists and kissed her palms. “Only have eyes for you.” It was a nice feeling being the object of jealousy, not that he’d ever tell Starry that.
“Good thinking there, Vara,” Yoshi said, looking at Spence’s girlfriend. She clearly had no qualms about lying. Wonder if she lies to Spence? She must be excellent at faking orgasms.
The grass-type breathed in and exhaled. “No worries.” She started skipping further in, humming a nameless tune. She looked as comfortable in the Abandoned Glasshouse as Flick did in Sapphire.
“Never liked that fat cunt,” Spence growled.
The beef Yoshi had with him was from ages ago. Now he just saw Asshat as competition. Spence’s dislike for him was a notch up. “What’s the deal?”
“The way he struts around the place like he owns it, only because his grandpa is a big shot. He can have any girlfriend he wants. All he has to do is go back to Topaz and ask the Prof.”
Yoshi was about to point out how hypocritical it was of him to say that, but given that he was on a mission with him, opted against it.
“Don’t mind him. We’ve got an OP girlfriend to catch.”
“You know what? You’re right, dude. Forget about him. We’ve got bigger fish to fry.” Spence exhaled and hopped on the spot, loosening up his arms. “Hey, where’d Vara go?” He walked further in, Moxie following behind. “Come on, this way. The deeper we go, the higher the chance of finding Scardino.”
Yoshi nodded. “Alright you two, get back.” He touched rings to Crystal and Starry and withdrew them.
Yoshi looked up. Even though the rain had stopped, clouds still hung heavy overhead. If it wasn’t for the buzzing lamps lighting the path, he would have had to call upon Flick’s human torch services again.
He looked down. Something caught his eye on the side of the path. He walked up to it. There was a lot of wild overgrowth in here. Whoever this used to belong hadn’t been back for a long time.
It was a sign with golden writing etched into it. Vines had wrapped around its base while moss creeped around the corners. Yoshi leaned in and ran his hands across the face, dragging the vines out of the way. It was carved out of black marble with faint, gray veins. There were three lines of cursive text in the middle:
To my S,
Our love will grow unfettered and forever, like the flowers of Emerald.
May you never feel lonely walking the paths of our Glasshouse.
7
Shattered Story
Wild Ila appeared!
NAME: Ila
LEVEL: 17
HP: 65/65
Bits of dry dirt fell off the wild girlfriend’s dark, bark-like skin as she rose from a crouching position. She regarded the two trainers solemnly, thick lips neither smiling nor frowning.
“You take this one,” Spence said. “I already caught an Ila.”
“Can you show me her entry in your GF-wiki?”
Spence frowned. “Why?”
“Mine’s busted.”
“Alright, whatever. Send out your girlfriend first.”
Yoshi looked the Ila up and down. He would have completely walked past her had she not revealed herself. She wore a khaki top with the bottom ripped off, exposing her muscular stomach. This was complemented by dark army shorts that finished mid-thigh.
Yoshi pointed his chosen ring into the battle field. “Go, Soph!”
Blue light struck the ground and materialized into the form of the bird-kin.
“‘Bout time.” She stretched her arms out to the side, letting her wings fall open.
“OK dude,” Spence grunted. “Have a look.”
Name: Ila
Entry #: 41
Species: Treant
Type: Grass/Ground
Nature: Zen
R
arity: *
Ilas have skin whose hardness resembles scalewood, giving them abnormally high Defence and Special Defence TPs. Their favorite past time is planting trees.
This shouldn’t be too difficult. The Ila closed her eyes, bowed her head and had the subtlest of smiles on her face, perhaps accepting that she would lose this battle.
“Soph, use Fell Swoop!” Yoshi commanded.
Soph dropped into a half-crouch. “You got it!”
The flying-type dashed forward, wings growing in size with each step. 10 yards out, she crouched again then launched herself 10 feet into the air, flapping as hard as she could to gain extra elevation. At the peak, she folded her wings to her side and fell into a nosedive, arcing through the air towards the wild girlfriend.
CRUNCH.
It’s Super Effective!!!
Soph is damaged by recoil!
Yoshi didn’t know which girlfriend had it worse off. Ila didn’t look light by any means, but the force of Soph’s attack sent her skidding along the path like a skipped pebble, just over half of her HP wiped out. Sophie sat on her haunches clutching her head.
“Urgh…”
“You OK, Soph?”
She took her time to respond. “I got her good, but man, it was like flying into brick wall.”
“Want me to withdraw you?”
The bird-kin bounced up, stray feathers fluttering off her. “Fuck off.”
Wild Ila used Vine Wrap!
From the dirt and dust, ten green, vine-like ropes shot out. Five wrapped around Soph’s body either side, immobilizing her arms.
The Ila emerged from the dust, one vine coming from each fingertip. She clenched her fists and the vines tightened around her foe.
It’s not very effective…
