by KJ Harlow
“We wanted to… ask Scardino about the messages she’s been leaving around the Glasshouse.” Yoshi said, ignored Spence’s wheezing from behind him. “That’s her leaving the messages, right?”
“Oh those,” Arlif said knowingly. She sighed. “Yes, it was her. I moved to the Glasshouse across from Emerald oh, five years ago now? She’s a lot better now than she was back then. I don’t think she’s completely over him yet though.”
“Who is he?” Yoshi asked.
Arlif shook her head, her hair ding-donging side to side. “She’s never mentioned his name. The others who have been here longer tell me that he built this Glasshouse, then abandoned her.”
“Does she have a… route that she likes to take through here?” Spence asked. Arlif gave the tall trainer a wary look. Seeing Yoshi’s nod, she answered slowly.
“She likes to make sure all parts of the Glasshouse are looked after.” She smiled fondly. “Even with a broken heart, she still has so much love to give to it and all the girlfriends that live here.”
Yoshi and Spence stood in silence. “I can take you to her cottage if you would like. She’ll be back eventually.”
“She has a cottage here?” Yoshi asked.
“Mmhmm.” Arlif pointed up and behind them.
“She lives in the giant tree?” Spence blurted.
“No. Well actually, yes sort of.”
The grass-type swept over to the base of the three mammoth trees woven together. She took off her flats then placed her bare feet on the trunk… and walked up. Yoshi looked on in astonishment as his girlfriend got further and further away from him. She disappeared into a nook in the side of the tree before popping her head back out.
“What are you waiting for?” she said. “Oh right, you aren’t one with the trees. Hold on, let me let the rope ladder down for you.”
With a final push, Yoshi hauled himself up the final rung of the rope ladder.
“About time, yo,” Spence said, hands on hips.
“Where did… Arlif… go?” Yoshi rasped.
“Your girlfriend’s been walking around the ‘cottage’,” Spence said, making talking marks with his fingers, “and chatting to a few of the other girlfriends here.”
Yoshi eventually got to his feet. He turned around and almost lost his balance. The tree swayed, creaking and sighing with the wind. Grey clouds floated across the sky, breaking in silent rain over the Glasshouse below, past Route 41 all the way back to Sapphire.
“Hello, Potionguy.” Yoshi turned around. His girlfriend stood there, beaming at him. “You took your time.”
“Right. So this is Scardino’s…” Yoshi looked around the wide, expansive space, clad in wood. “…cottage?”
“Mmhmm. There are a few Glasshouse girls around, but I’ve told them not to worry about you, because you won’t hurt them.” Arlif looked up at Yoshi. “You won’t hurt them, right?”
“That wasn’t part of the deal,” Spence whispered out the corner of his mouth.
Yoshi pretended he didn’t hear him. How are we going to catch a girlfriend, let alone an overpowered one, without hurting her? “Yes.”
Arlif smiled again. “OK, let me show you around.”
It wasn’t so much a cottage as it was a mansion. Lifees, Ilas and a few other girlfriends he hadn’t seen yet were dutifully carrying boxes around, dusting or generally looking busy. From the lobby, she took them to the living room, which had its own fireplace. How it didn’t burn the whole tree down, Yoshi didn’t know.
“Should we wait for her here?” Yoshi asked.
“Let me show you around the rest of the place first,” Arlif said. She seemed excited to have guests here, as if she had been preparing it for such an occasion. They ventured down corridor after corridor of rooms. A few times, girlfriends poked their heads out, saw Yoshi and Spence and promptly shut and locked their doors.
“Lady Scardino’s master had built this cottage for her, but she’s been kind enough to share it with all of us,” Arlif said. She hesitated. “She misses him. She’ll be glad to have visitors.”
“Hey dude, you OK? You don’t look so good,” Spence said. He picked up a vase on a pedestal and yanked the flowers out, offering it to him to puke into.
“Don’t touch that,” Arlif hissed. Spence froze and put them back.
“I’m OK,” Yoshi breathed. “It’s just… this tree’s swaying… and I get… tree sick.”
Spence raised an eyebrow at him and snorted.
“These are everwood trees. No matter how bad the weather, they’ll never break. Lady Scardino’s master had them transplanted to the Glasshouse from Emerald.”
“I need some fresh air,” Yoshi said weakly.
“Perfect! I’m about to take you to the courtyard. This way.” She skipped ahead, turning the corner.
“How are we going to catch the Scardino if we can’t hurt the girlfriends?” Spence said under his breath.
“She just meant the girlfriends inside the cottage,” Yoshi said. The fellow Topaz trainer snorted, sensing the lack of conviction in his voice. “Come on. Don’t think she’ll let you catch her if I barf in her house.”
They turned the corner and saw Arlif standing at the end of the hall where there were wooden double doors. “This waaaay.”
Yoshi picked up the pace and hurried out the door. He gulped down ten deep breaths, wind whipping through his hair.
“This is the courtyard,” she said. “Close the door behind you,” she barked to Spence.
The air was crisp and pure so high up; it was good to taste it after breathing in moist glasshouse air for so long.
The courtyard was an exquisite work of landscaping. Exotic plants and trees lined the perimeter. Several statues composed of different materials were arranged in a grid, showing Scardino in various poses. At the other end was a wooden gazebo. Paint was peeling off its sides but it was otherwise in good shape.
“So Scardino’s going to come by later then?” Spence asked casually.
“I’ve told the others to let her know that we’re waiting for her here,” the leaf-maiden said. The wind blew the hair into her face and she brushed it aside. “Thanks again for doing this, Potionguy. She’s going to be so excited to have guests. Why did you decide to come–?”
Yoshi recalled her back into her ring.
“Good one Yosh,” Spence said. “Laying down the law.”
Yoshi swallowed the guilt and said nothing.
“So what are we going to do now?” Spence asked.
Yoshi walked into the gazebo and sat, leaning his elbow into his knee. “We wait.”
9
Scardino Is Here!
“OK, so like I said: this girlfriend is fucking scary. Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to send out Moxie. She’s going to use Stun Powder. She levelled up before and learned a new bug-type move called Sonic Wings. I’ll–”
“This is wrong.”
Spence stared at Yoshi. “What is wrong?”
“Sneaking into someone’s house, waiting to ambush them…” Yoshi waved around vaguely. “All of this.”
“Dude,” Spence said, pinching the bridge of his nose. He leaned forward, glaring at Yoshi. “We didn’t sneak in, we were let in.”
“We lied.”
“You lied,” Spence pointed out, rubbing his stomach absent-mindedly.
“You made it sound like she was just another wild girlfriend–”
“She is just another wild girlfriend!” Spence exploded. “Her trainer got rid of her, big whoop. It’s not our fault that she hasn’t gotten over him. I might not be able to build her a castle in the sky but I’ll get her much better stuff. Let me ask you one more time: are you in or are you out?”
Yoshi tented his fingers, eyes glazed over. “She will attack first; that puts us at an immediate disadvantage. We will get demolished if we take her head-on.”
“Alright, now we’re talking!” Spence boomed.
“We layer on the condition changes.” Yoshi c
ontinued. “Get her to damage herself as much as she can. Every bit counts. Flick’s Water Slap can cause confusion. Her Flash can also decrease accuracy by 50 percent.”
“Mm-hm.” Spence hummed, nodding slowly.
“Starry’s Siren Song has a 40 percent chance of confusion. She doesn’t have the type disadvantage that Flick does, so I might use her first. Soph has the best advantage, being a flying-type. Did you bring any other girl–?”
The ornate doorknob turned and both trainers sprang to their feet. “Shit, she’s here!” Spence whispered. Lightning speared across the sky, illuminating the courtyard.
“That statue over there, in the corner.” Yoshi hissed, dropping into a crouch. “Hide there, call Moxie out. Pick your moment, then use Stun Powder. Go!”
The sculpted trainer from Topaz moved surprisingly fast for a big guy. He wove around numerous stone sculptures and immaculately trimmed shrubs before throwing himself behind the marble block base of the statue to the left of the door.
Yoshi’s heart was thudding in his throat. Not counting his girlfriends, he had never ordered someone like that before, let alone someone a foot taller than him.
Dark clouds were rolling in from the distance. More lighting raked across the sky, with the thunder booming seconds after. A storm was coming. A green, scaled leg stepped into the courtyard; Yoshi’s heart rate kicked up a notch. Dark dots appeared on the ground as rain started to fall.
The reptile woman looked around, scanning right over where Spence was doing his best to squeeze his huge frame behind the block. Yoshi stood rooted the spot, unable to move when the reptilian locked eyes with him. A forked tongue flickered in and out of her thin, green lips and she started walking towards him.
The shots in the GF-wiki didn’t do her justice. Power rippled out of her being with every step. The Tomb Raider-style tank top and shorts leant an air of grace and power to her being; Yoshi expected her to dash forward in a blink and crunch her jagged-tooth jaws over his head.
NAME: Scardino
LEVEL: 62
HP: 271/271
“The girls said there was meant to be two of you.” Her voice was deep, calm and assured. The rain started falling in silent sheets, hushed in the presence of the powerful girlfriend.
Don’t look at Spence, don’t look at Spence, don’t look at Spence…
“Aaaah yes. My f-friend. He… he went to the bathroom,” Yoshi stammered.
“It’s starting to rain. Let’s move into the shade.” Scardino walked towards the gazebo in the middle of the courtyard. Yoshi willed his legs to move and followed the overpowered girlfriend. Her tail lazily swung side to side, almost knocking into the statues either side of the path. Yoshi found himself staring at her thick thighs where her shorts finished. Her skin was dark like Ila the treant, but scaled instead of covered in bark.
“Where is Arlif?” she asked, voice low but clear.
“A-Arlif?” he said, blanking out.
The dino nodded. “The Lifee. You caught her, didn’t you? Or was that your companion?”
“Yes, I mean no. I caught her. Not him. He’s still in the bathroom. Is it OK that I caught her?”
Scardino hadn’t broken her gaze with him since she set eyes on him. “Of course it’s OK you caught her. I don’t own her.” She looked out to the left. A fork of lightning reflected in her beady eye. “I will miss her company though.”
From the corner of his eye, Yoshi could see Spence slowly creeping out from his hiding place. He hadn’t called out Moxie yet.
“I’m sorry, I haven’t introduced myself yet.” Scardino dipped her head. “My name is Scardino. You may call me Scary.”
A sickening feeling gripped Yoshi’s intestines. Frank, she’s actually quite nice. What will happen when she finds out we’re actually trying to catch her?
Lighting cracked above, making both Yoshi and Scardino flinch. He chanced a glance behind the dino. Spence had taken the split-second opportunity to call his bug-type out. She didn’t look too happy about being drenched, shivering in the rain. Or maybe it was from the fear of facing a girlfriend over 40 levels higher than she was.
Spence, abort mission! Do. Not. Attack. Her!
No matter how loud he yelled in his head, Spence kept moving forward.
“Are you Spence or Yo–”
“I’m Yoshi. Yoshi Soysauce. Pleased to meet you.” He stuck his hand out and forced a smile to his face.
Scary cocked her head slightly, taking Yoshi’s hand. She applied the smallest amount of pressure, which was still enough to almost fracture his hand. He flinched but didn’t yank it back.
“You remind me of someone,” she said, crossing her arms. “Someone who was as nervous about meeting me many years ago as you are right now.”
“Me? Nervous? Hahahaha!” Yoshi laughed, louder than necessary. Spence and Moxie were within 10 feet, outside the gazebo, rain dripping down their faces.
“Your friend is taking an awfully long time,” Scary said. “Maybe he got lo–”
“Stun Powder!”
Golden powder burst forth from Moxie’s wing ducts but only managed to dribble out due to the rain.
Stun Powder failed!
Holy mother of Frank.
“Who are you?” Scardino hissed. “Who let you in here?”
“Yoshi! What are you waiting for?” Spence barked.
Yoshi cupped his face. As if things couldn’t get any worse…
Scardino looked between them, realization dawning on her face. “I see. So you are Spence and you both weren’t here to visit me.”
Scardino used Tail Crush!
One moment she was there, the next moment she had whipped her tail into Moxie, sending her crashing into the building next to the door.
It’s Super Effective!!!
The entire courtyard shuddered as the moth fell still.
Moxie fainted!
Spence stared at his fallen girlfriend then turned back and came face to face with the livid reptile.
“You’re here to battle me, like all the other pathetic trainers that come into my Glasshouse!” Spence stepped back, almost slipping. He panicked, stabbing his fingers haphazardly into the rings at his belt.
“Fumi! Get out here!”
When the light from her ring cleared, Fumi the poison-type wasn’t there. Standing in her place was Vara, Spence’s grass-type starter. She saw the overpowered dino and froze. Scary charged towards the pair.
“Get out of the… way!” Scary roared, charging towards the pair.
Scardino used Thorn Claw!
It’s not very effective…
The attack ripped into Vara, launching her to the side. She thudded into a monument and dry retched on the ground, horrific claw marks gouged into her chest.
“To have the gall to attack me not only behind my back but in my own home—” she raised her hand, rain dripping off her claws— “you deserve death!”
“S!” Yoshi yelled.
Scardino paused, eyes wide. She turned around. “What did you call me?”
“Flick now! Use Flash!” Yoshi roared.
The water-type he had called out as Scardino demolished Spence’s girlfriends lifted her top. Light erupted in the courtyard.
“Rrrrrrrrrrrraaaarrrrrgh!” The dino swiped deep and low, raking the bottom of Spence’s shoes.
Thorn Claw missed!
“Get out of there!” Yoshi yelled, voice swallowed by thunder.
A wounded Vara had made her way back to her trainer, helping him to his feet.
“Flick, Water Barrier! Protect Vara and Spence!”
“On it.” She clapped her hands together, water splashing between her palms. A semi-transparent screen flickered on in front of her. She took a step back and ‘threw’ it towards the other trainer.
Flick used Water Barrier!
Scardino used Tail Crush!
The dino whipped her rear around, her tail cracking in the air and striking the barrier. The water slowed it down somewhat, but it wa
s still enough to send Spence and Vara sprawling to the side.
Vara has fainted!
“Flick, keep Flashing her. I want her so blind she can’t walk without tripping,” Yoshi commanded his water-type. “Starry, Soph, get out here.”
His first and second girlfriends appeared, eyes wide with alarm. “Starry, Siren Song. Keep it going. Watch out for her tail and her claws. Soph, flying-type moves. Pick your moments. Keep her away from Spence.”
Yoshi’s three girlfriends got to work. They assumed a triangle formation, taking advantage of the monuments to evade the dino’s attacks. She would start moving towards Flick after being Flashed by her, giving Soph the openings to Fell Swoop from behind. All the while, Starry kept a safe distance, her voice just audible above the heavily falling rain.
Yoshi sped out of the gazebo, clinging to the perimeter. Spence was backed up in a corner, staring in horror at the scene unfolding before him.
“Hey!” Yoshi barked. He grabbed his party member’s bicep. “This way.”
He shook his head. “I need to catch her.”
“You can do it from the gazebo! Come on!”
He shook his arm free. “No.”
Scardino is confused!
Scardino used Thorn Claw!
It’s Super Effective!!!
Flick fainted!
Yoshi spun back to the scene. Flick was heaped up against the side of a monument, Scardino standing over her.
“No!” Yoshi yelled.
The dino perked up. “There you are!” She thudded over towards them.
“Yo Bitchzilla!” Soph taunted. “I’m your enemy!”
Soph used Fell Swoop!
It’s Super Effective!!!
Soph was hurt in recoil!
Scardino is confused!
Scardino used Tail Crush!
