by KJ Harlow
Yoshi looked at his remaining four girls, scanning through their full stats:
NAME: Serenette (Starry)
NATURE: Reserved
TYPE: Interstellar
ACC.: Cat Eyes Tee
LEVEL: 24
HP: 75/75
- ATTACK: 24
- DEFENCE: 20
- SPCL ATTACK: 26
- SPCL DEFENCE: 25
- SPEED: 22
MOVESET:
Gaze - Type: Normal - 30/30 PP (Lower defence by staring into opponent’s eyes, stun effect for 3 seconds.
Siren Song - Type: Interstellar - 30/30 PP (Devastates foes with a hope-dashing song, 40% chance of confusion.)
NAME: Crystal
NATURE: Unflappable
TYPE: Rock
ACC.: NIL
LEVEL: 20
HP: 58/58
- ATTACK: 23
- DEFENCE: 31
- SPCL ATTACK: 26
- SPCL DEFENCE: 30
- SPEED: 17
MOVESET:
Boulder Punch - Type: Rock - 30/30 PP (Strike with a earth shattering force)
Charge - Type: Normal - 30/30 PP (Bide energy for two turns before unleashing it on the third. Deals triple SPCL ATTACK)
Bone Fissure - Type: Rock - 20/20 PP (Strike critical areas on enemies’ bodies, halving ATTACK points until the end of the battle)
NAME: Lifee (Arlif)
NATURE: Playful
TYPE: Grass/Poison
ACC.: NIL
LEVEL: 20
HP: 72/72
- ATTACK: 23
- DEFENCE: 19
- SPCL ATTACK: 20
- SPCL DEFENCE: 18
- SPEED: 19
MOVESET:
Nettle Sting - Type: Poison - 25/25 PP (Fires poison barbs in one direction that secrete a venom of varying efficacy. 40% chance of Poison.)
Shoulder Charge - Type: Normal - 30/30 PP (Ram foes with your shoulder)
Branch Swords - Type: Grass - 30/30 PP (Strikes up to five times with branches in each hand. Critical Hit percentage +10% for each successful strike).
NAME: Aion (Ai)
REL’SHIP: Daughter
NATURE: Vain
TYPE: Steel
ACC.: Carrot Top
LEVEL: 13
HP: 40/40
- ATTACK: 14
- DEFENCE: 19
- SPCL ATTACK: 16
- SPCL DEFENCE: 16
- SPEED: 15
MOVESET:
Shoulder Charge - Type: Normal - 30/30 PP (Ram foes with your shoulder)
Steel Heel - Type: Steel - 30/30 PP (Strike with the ball of your heel with enough force to break bones)
“How’s everyone feeling?”
No one said anything but from looking at their faces, Yoshi knew what was going through everyone’s minds.
“I know it’s been a long trip; you guys have been awesome about it. From what I hear, Agate Island’s beautiful and it will be worth it when we get there. That’s why we’re going to visit the captain now, to see how much longer we’ll be.”
“Have you heard anything about Cindi?” Arlif asked, trying to sound casual. That really must have shook her up.
“Nope,” Yoshi said, shaking his head. “But I’ve seen her around the dining room. She’s in good shape.” None of his girlfriends seemed convinced by this. “Let’s find the captain first and then we’ll–”
“Yoshi?”
He paused. That voice could only belong to one person…
He turned around. “Asshat, how’s it going?”
“Good, good man, just killing time.” Yoshi’s childhood nemesis eyed his girlfriends. “Didn’t expect to see you on the Cruisy McCruiseface.”
“A friend gave me his tickets.”
Asshat’s eyebrow bounced up. “Serious? They were expensive though. And I had to line up for ages to get them at Sapphire Port.”
Yoshi considered bragging to him that his friend was the new mayor of Sapphire but decided against it.
“Are you also here to look for the Legendary?”
Yoshi frowned. “Legendary?”
“You don’t know about it?” Asshat murmured conspiratorially. He looked glanced back over his shoulder. “Apparently the reason why Agate Island is covered in ice is because a Legendary ice-type girlfriend lives there.”
“Really?”
“I mean, it’s just a rumor,” the chubby trainer said, drawing back. “Could be a load of shit.”
“So you’re going to try and catch her then?” Yoshi asked casually. “This Legendary?”
“Fuck, that’d be cool wouldn’t it? Pretty sure I wouldn’t even be able to land a scratch on her, she’s probably high 70s, maybe even 80s.” Asshat laughed. “I’m going to catch some more common ice-types… if this Frank-forsaken ship ever gets there.” On cue, the ship lurched again. Yoshi rested his hand on Flick’s ring.
“Hey, you owe me a battle,” Asshat said. “I’ve taken on close to 40 trainers on this ship. My win rate’s about eight out of ten.”
“I’ve been on the Battle Deck too,” Yoshi said, pointing up with his thumb. “Why haven’t I seen you up there?”
“Got bored of the trainers up there on the first day,” Asshat said. “I’ll show you where the real action is.”
“Yo Asshat!”
“Hey Clem.” Asshat fist-bumped a guy wearing a faded vest. Could have been denim, it was too hard to tell from all of the soot.
“Where is this?” Yoshi asked, looking around. Asshat had taken them down several flights of stairs, passing the several rooms before eventually walking through a “Restricted: Ship Personnel Only” door.
“This,” Clem said, casting an arm around the large, echoing chamber, “is Cruisy’s Belly.”
“Clem is the chief foreman here,” Asshat explained, standing aside. “He makes sure that the ship has enough coal to keep her going.”
“She’s a hungry lass, she is,” Clem said, leaning on a shovel. “Then again, she’s never been made to go to the shithole that is the Agate Island. Don’t tell me you’re going to find the Legendary there as well?” He leaned in, eyeing Yoshi with a dark, beady eye.
“I didn’t know there was one there until Asshat told me,” Yoshi said, glancing at his rotund frenemy. “Has anyone actually seen her?”
“Nah,” Clem said, clinking his shovel into the tiled floor. “I reckon it was some drunk wanker who started the rumor after one too many. Somehow, it took off and now you have trainers in the hundreds trying to get there to catch a mythical girlfriend who doesn’t exist.”
“One of the Client Service staff, a Chippie, was attacked by an ice-type right outside our door,” Arlif said, piping up. “Could it be the Legendary coming on board to try and scare people?”
“Hahaha,” Clem guffawed. “An imaginative one you got there buddy,” he said, eyeing Yoshi before clearing his throat. “I did hear that one of the girls was attacked. I didn’t hear that it was an ice-type, though.”
Yoshi took a minute to explain the situation to the two men, the light from the coal burner flickering over their faces.
“I don’t buy it,” Asshat said, rubbing his chin.
“I mean, it could be an ice-type, yeah,” Clem said slowly. “That move sounded like Ice Veil.”
“But the Legendary coming aboard the ship?” Asshat snorted. “I don’t mean to laugh, but why would a Legendary girlfriend want to kill Yoshi?” Arlif blushed and went quiet.
“Shut up dude, you’d piss yourself if you saw what my girlfriend saw,” Yoshi snapped.
“Ho ho, look at Yoshi defending his damsel in distress,” Asshat jeered.
“At least he’s a gentleman, unlike you, ya control freak,” Clem said. “Though that’s probably why your girls seem to respect you more.”
“Damn right they do,” Asshat nodded. “Girlfriends need to be told what to do. It’s in their nature to comply. Without us trainers, they would be stuck in tall grass or caves or whatever and nev
er get stronger. They’d never realize their potential.”
“We respect Yoshi,” Crystal said, stepping forward. “He treats us well. We defend him and he willingly defends us.”
“He’s twice the trainer you are,” Starry said, joining the rock-type. “And he’s going to prove it to you right now.”
28
ASSHAT WANTS TO BATTLE!
“You boys take it easy over there OK? If the whole ship blows up, I’m blaming you two,” Clem warned. “Oy! Back to work!” he barked, swinging his shovel at some workers who had come to watch.
“Let’s see if you can handle the heat, Yosh. Go, Amber!”
Blue lightning blasted out of his fist and crunched into the tiles.
That’s a Mishal! Yoshi pulled his GF-wiki out, pointing it at the belly dancer:
Name: Mishal
Entry #: 33
Species: Belly Dancer
Type: Fire
Nature: Sultry
Rarity: *
From the moment she is born, Mishal’s purpose is to master the art of Belly Dancing. So dedicated is she to this cause that she has been known to walk on hot coals while carrying a bucket of water on her head to perfect her posture and balance.
The girlfriend turned side-on, flicking her hips towards Yoshi, as if beckoning him to come forward.
NAME: Mishal (Amber)
LEVEL: 26
HP: 71/71
Yoshi shook his head vigorously. Focus. This is for your girlfriends. He looked down at his belt. Flick’s probably still not up for a battle yet. Lucky I have another type who’s super-effective against fire types.
He turned around and gazed at his rock-type. “Crystal, you’re up.”
She nodded, combing her bleach blonde hair out of her eyes. As she entered the battle ring, he brought up her stats again:
NAME: Crystal
NATURE: Unflappable
TYPE: Rock
ACC.: NIL
LEVEL: 20
HP: 58/58
- ATTACK: 23
- DEFENCE: 31
- SPCL ATTACK: 26
- SPCL DEFENCE: 30
- SPEED: 17
MOVESET:
Boulder Punch - Type: Rock - 30/30 PP (Strike with a earth shattering force)
Charge - Type: Normal - 30/30 PP (Bide energy for two turns before unleashing it on the third. Deals triple SPCL
ATTACK)
Bone Fissure - Type: Rock - 20/20 PP (Strike critical areas on enemies’ bodies, halving ATTACK points until the end of the battle)
Hm. Six level difference, but Crystal’s got the type advantage. He glanced at Asshat, who was admiring his girlfriend’s shapely body. It was constantly moving, grinding and pulsing in the air. The thin pieces of violet fabric occasionally lifted off her skin, revealing a dark nipple here or a patch of neatly groomed pubic hair above her vagina there.
Asshat pointed at Crystal. “Amber, Hipnotize!”
She smiled and ran her tongue over her scarlet lips. “It’s what I do best.” For a second, she stopped moving. She drew her arm over her face, the other draped over her hip. With one fluid motion, she detached the hooks on the veils, throwing both off. The diaphanous fabric fluttered to the ground, revealing the Mishal in all her nude glory.
Fuck, get down son! He rearranged his junk, only looking up when he heard a slump on the ground.
Crystal is sleeping!
“Crystal!” Yoshi yelled. “Wake up!”
“It won’t work,” Asshat said, shrugging. “Amber is really good at what she does. I got her to train on me. The goal was to Hipnotize me then fuck the shit out of me. If I woke up and found cum all over the sheets, I knew she had succeeded.”
“See,” Clem yelled from the coal burner, “not a gentleman at all.”
“Amber! Vulcan Kiss!”
The belly dancer leaped back twice, her fantastic breasts bouncing each time. In a half crouch, she puffed her cheeks out and blew hard. Flames shot ten feet out, enveloping Crystal.
It’s not very effective…
Crystal is burned!
“Woooo fuck yeah!” Asshat whooped. “Double status effect for the win!”
Crystal is hurt by her burn!
NAME: Crystal (BRN) (SLP)
LEVEL: 20
HP: 39/58
Yoshi gritted his teeth. “Crystal, get back.” He unlocked his next ring, holding it to his lips. Sorry, I know you’re not feeling great, but I need you right now. “Flick, go!”
NAME: Felicity (Flick)
NATURE: Playful
TYPE: Water
ACC.: Iridescentia
LEVEL: 22
HP: 80/80
- ATTACK: 24
- DEFENCE: 20
- SPCL ATTACK: 24 (+2)
- SPCL DEFENCE: 18
- SPEED: 20
MOVESET:
Water Slap - Type: Water - 35/35 PP (Deals a wet, punishing slap that has 20% chance of causing confusion)
Flash - Type: Normal - 40/40 PP (Produce blinding light that drops accuracy by 50%)
Water Barrier - Type: Water - 15/15 PP (produces a water barrier that sharply increases DEFENCE and SPCL DEFENCE. Lasts 2 turns.)
Flick appeared, crossing her feet as she fought to gain her balance.
“Ooooh, so he’s serious now,” Asshat jeered. “Amber, Hipnotize!”
Amber used Hipnotize!
Hiptonize failed!
The water-type was so focused on standing straight that she wasn’t looking at the fire-type. She still looked woozy, glowing a sickly shade of green.
“Alright, good one! Flick, use Water Slap!”
Flick is confused!
The water-type drew a leg back. There were three copies of the fire-type melding and splitting before her. She picked her moment and ran forward, her arms loose and trailing behind her like a drunk ninja.
THWACK!
Critical Hit!
It’s Super Effective!!!
The fire-type fell into a heap, her tits chafing on the grimy ground. Her HP was down to 35%. The sound of foremen cheering followed by Clem barking echoed in the room.
“Amber, get up!” Asshat commanded. He didn’t seem too fazed by the attack. Yoshi frowned. Isn’t he going to give her a potion or something?
The fire-type got to her feet before promptly falling on her tush, all sexiness and seductiveness gone.
“Amber, use Vulcan Kiss!”
Amber is confused!
Yoshi pumped his fist. Aww yiss! Flick’s Water Slap must have confused her. He glanced at his water-type, who had her arms out like she was walking on a tightrope. At least it’s even now.
The fire-type leaped back, missed her footing and slammed her face into the floor.
Amber hurt herself in confusion!
Her HP dropped to 25%.
“Flick, finish her off! Water Slap!” Please don’t miss, please don’t miss, please don’t miss.
Just like with the previous turn, the water-type took a moment to watch her opponent. She crossed the battle ring, slower this time, arms out like she was about to give Amber a bear hug.
THWACK!
It’s Super Effective!!!
She didn’t give Amber a bear hug.
Amber fainted!
“GG, Yosh,” Asshat said, withdrawing his fainted girlfriend amidst cheers from the unruly foremen. “If you had lost that, I would have had to reconsider the respect I had for you as a trainer.”
“Let your girlfriends do the talking,” Yoshi shot back. What’s he going to send out next? He glanced down at Asshat’s ring belt. Are there only three rings there?
Perhaps sensing his wandering eyes, Asshat turned ever so slightly, punching his finger into his next ring at the same time.
“Perri, go!”
Yoshi stared at the bird-type girlfriend standing before him before directing his GF-wiki at her:
NAME: Soara (Perri)
LEVEL: 30
HP: 125/125
Name: Soara
Entry #: 18
Species: Field Bird
Type: Flying
Nature: Competitive
Rarity: **
Soaras love nothing more than competing. In the wild, they will fly as high as they can, regularly going into the stratosphere and beyond. Honing this Nature is crucial for motivating this girlfriend and keeping her happy.
Despite being her evolved form, Soara looked significantly different from a Sophie. Instead of speckled brown and white feathers, Soara’s were a brilliant red. The pathetic excuses for wings the Sophie had were fully developed in Soara.
“Why did you give her my mom’s name?” Yoshi asked slowly.
“Funny story,” Asshat chuckled. “I always remembered how noisy your mom was growing up. ‘Yoshi, no playing until you have finished your homework.’, ‘Yoshi, why are you getting C’s in Girlfriend Anatomy?’ I got this Soara in a trade and her voice sounds uncannily like your mom’s so…”
“Why are you thinking of my mom?”
Asshat raised an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“You... asshat!”
“That’s my name,” he said with a smug smile.
Don’t let him get to you. He’s just being a turd like always. “Flick, good job, get back.” Time to give Ai some love.
“Ai, go!”
The Gym bunny appeared and somersaulted through the air before landing on her feet.
“Did you get a burst shot of that, Dad?” she said, turning around.
“No.”
“Awww, but that was my best one yet!”
“Ai, focus.” Yoshi made eyes towards Asshat, who was watching with an amused expression on his face.
“Hmm, a steel-type. Most types of physical attacks will be not very effective against her,” he mused, scratching his chin. “You must have a lot of faith in her to send her in against a girlfriend who’s double her level. That, or you’re stupider than you look.”
Yoshi clenched his jaw. “Ai, Steel Heel!”
“Not so fast. Perri, Fly!”
The Soara crouched and spread her wings out, launching herself straight up. Dust billowed through the air with each effortless flap.
