“And yours…What about you, Ava? You’re more passionate and sexual than you give yourself credit for. You’ll be spending long hours with guys like your buddy, Zach the cameraman, who practically undressed you with his eyes right in front of me. Hell, you’ll be with some very hot artists for days at a time. You’ll be pursued aggressively. Can you really promise, in a weak moment, you won’t slip?”
“Weak moment? Is that all you give me credit for? You’re talking about yourself, damn it.”
“You worry about me, but you haven’t experienced how intoxicating fame is. People will do anything to please you, and sometimes you let them because your resistance gets worn down or you’re tired of being alone.”
“Don’t you dare treat me like I can’t keep my legs closed. I haven’t even thought of another man since I got involved with you. Can you say the same about other women?”
The anger in his expression scares me. “Oh, you’re right, Ava. I’m thinking about other women all the time. Can’t you tell?”
I give him the most hostile face I can muster.
“You’re just someone convenient to sleep with. Once you’re gone, all bets are off.”
My rage explodes. “That’s such a screwed up thing to say! Why do you react to everything like a child? I swear, if you’re going to talk to me like that, I’m going to treat you like a child.” I growl and point toward the living room. “You need a fucking time out!”
He jerks away and gets out of bed. The air is thick with anger as he puts on his clothes and grabs his keys and wallet off the nightstand.
He narrows his eyes and a muscle in his jaw twitches as he stares me down. “You think I’m acting like a child? You better not pull this shit when you’re in New York. I’ll tell you what…I’m taking a time out, all right, before I say something worse. We’ll discuss this in the morning after you’ve calmed down.”
“After I’ve calmed down?” I yell after him as he storms down the hall.
When he slams the door, I lie stunned on the bed, my chest heaving with fury. I yell out a string of expletives. If all he cares about is whom he’s going to screw next, then maybe I’m better off without him. As passionately as I yell in the empty apartment, I don’t mean it, but the release is cathartic.
This rant goes on and on until I have listened to Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” on replay about twelve times and I’m well into my second glass of wine.
I keep replaying the ridiculous argument in my head. When the fire burns out of me, I calm enough to turn my anger inward and have second thoughts. Why did I immediately fly off the handle when he just wanted to have a straightforward talk about the challenges ahead of us?
My stupid insecurity blew things out of proportion when we’d finally made some progress. We’ll never make it through the year I’m away if I don’t get a grip on my trust issues. After all, he hasn’t done anything since we became a couple to justify my lack of faith in him.
Drained and unsteady, I set my wine glass on my nightstand and I see my necklace with our charms. The shift in my mood is startling. One minute, I’m scheming to cut out the crotches of all his boxer shorts, and the next I’m clinging to my special gift and sobbing. Maybe I’m losing it and the stress has finally made me snap.
I pick up my phone. Knowing Max is probably in the studio, I send a long text.
I shouldn’t have gone off like that. I’m having trouble with all these changes too, and I need to get a handle on things. I don’t want to make things worse. I’m really sorry.
I crawl in bed and pull my blankets up to my chin. My pillow is wet and my face swollen before sleep finally quiets me.
I’m still a mess when I wake up, but a determined mess. After a long hot shower, I feel human again. I check my phone and find the reply he sent after I’d fallen asleep.
Thanks for saying you’re sorry. I’m really sorry too for the “I’ll sleep with anyone” speech. You know I don’t ever want anyone but you.
There’s a second text he sent immediately after.
We can’t waste our time left having stupid fights like this. I’ll call you later this morning after my appointment.
I love it when Max is the sane one. My relief is staggering, despite my pounding headache and ravaged nerves.
Midmorning, I get another text from him.
Cara and I had a good session. That argument was every kind of wrong last night. We need to figure out a way to stay calm when we have a conflict.
Wow. Max is the one saying we need to be calm? That’s a switch. I think for a moment before I respond.
Yes, and we need to come up with ways to support each other and not accuse each other of what might happen.
I have the solution. Stay, Ava. I promise I’ll make you glad you did.
Damn it all, Max. Don’t taunt me.
Stay.
Oh, so that’s the only way?
I’ll marry you, I’ll give you everything. We’ll make beautiful babies and live happily ever after. Stay with me.
You’re a selfish man.
Yes, but I know what I want, and I’m not giving up until I get it.
We agree to meet at my apartment after work to talk more, but talk is the last thing on my mind when I anxiously get in my car. It’s frankly amazing I don’t have an accident on the way home, with my thighs quivering as I imagine Max on top of me, instead of concentrating on what’s happening on the road. But along with the visuals, there’s a chatty little broad on my shoulder, whispering in my ear that I’ve lost my mind.
I’m under tremendous strain with these impending life changes, but this relationship drama is not healthy. Max is getting himself together while I’m falling apart.
As I arrive at my apartment, Max pulls up from the opposite direction and quickly parks across the street. I don’t say a word and he silently shadows me a step behind as we climb the stairs. Even though I can’t see him, I feel his energy pulsing through me. I’m certain whatever happens once we’re inside is not going to be easygoing or casual, and I’m pretty sure not much talking will be involved.
When I get to the top of the landing and slide my key in the door, he’s right up behind me, his hot breath on my neck. I’m completely aroused and almost drop my purse and grab him. Instead, I chant to myself, Get in the house…Get in the house.
The moment the door closes, he’s on me, and he’s taking no prisoners. His mouth consumes me as we slam against the door, his hips pushing his arousal against me. I try to push the craziness of our actions out of my mind as I run my hands over him. I finally take a step back.
“What are we doing?” I gasp, trying to catch my breath.
“Hell, I don’t know. I lost my mind last Friday, so I’m just going along for the ride at this point.” He studies me carefully for a long moment. “I suppose I’m trying to get as much of you as I can before you move to New York.” He bites the nape of my neck and grinds against me.
He unbuttons my blouse before pulling it apart and off my shoulders. He runs his fingertips along the edge of my sheer bra before he slowly pulls it down to free my breasts.
“See, I’m going to miss these terribly, so I need to take my time with them.” He sucks a nipple into his mouth, teasing me with his tongue. Lacing my fingers through his hair, I pull him closer, aching with want as I feel his teeth skim the sensitive skin.
“Good?” he asks as his tongue circles the peak.
“So good.” My back arches as he sucks hard, and I feel the arousal all the way down to my toes.
“So perfect,” he moans, as he cups each breast, squeezes, and drags his thumbs across the nipples.
I slowly pull his jeans open before dipping my hand inside to wrap around his hard cock.
“This is what I’m going to miss.” I sigh. “If only it were detachable; then I could take it with me.” My grip tightens as he thrusts into my hand.
“Well, hopefully that wouldn’t be as satisfying without the rest of me attached.” He laughs
as he takes my earlobe between his teeth and gently bites.
“Oh, believe me, I need all of you…from head to toe. Nothing less,” I whisper.
His gaze suddenly looks far away in thought and he pulls back a little.
“Did I distract you with all that? You probably don’t even want to get naked now.”
“Well…I don’t know. I could probably still be persuaded.” His expression is playful, and he folds his arms over his chest.
I gently pry his arms apart and trail kisses down his neck as I unbutton his denim shirt. “Well, let’s see how persuasive I can be, since I’ve had this image in my head all day of you naked and hard, stretched across my bed.” I pull his shirt open and lick along his chest until I have his nipple in my mouth. I tease him with my tongue and bite gently as his head falls back.
“How hard?” he moans, as I move to the other nipple.
“Oh, really, really hard.”
“Is this what you had in mind?” he asks as he presses my hand over his erection fighting to get out of his boxers shorts.
“Yeah, that’s definitely what I had in mind,” I whisper.
This time, when he carries me to the bedroom, we make love slowly under the low beams of light of the setting sun shining through my open windows. Beautifully naked, he’s rendered in hot highlights and dark shadows, casting the stubble on his face and every muscle in exaggerated dimension.
I crave the softer light of a Robert Mapplethorpe photograph, ethereal and clean, yet there is truth in this harsh spotlight.
He pulls me on top of him, and with his strong hands firmly on my hips, he guides me in our passionate dance over the sheets. Our eyes are fixed on each other, seeing past the hurt and anger, and looking directly at the truth we hold inside.
At the height of our passion, he rolls us over so that he’s on top. I’m hungry to relinquish control and feel his weight, strength, and purpose in each thrust. At times, he senses my needs so acutely that the softest touch can make me shimmer into an arc of pleasure.
As I feel his climax approaching and begin to crash into mine, I hold him, knowing I’ll never let him go. For the first time in this messed up, exhilarating, and emotionally terrifying drama, I feel certain we’ll make it through. There’s no other choice.
“Okay, now you’re getting somewhere,” Brian says. “Don’t you think, Jess?” We’re in Jess’s kitchen setting up a mini taco bar for dinner.
“Yeah, I think he’s coming around,” she agrees. “I mean, damn—he was ready to jump off a cliff the first couple of days, and then today he called excited to tell me Jet Blue flies out of LAX nonstop to JFK.”
My heart does a cartwheel. Max really is coming around. “But, you guys, while I’m gone, I’m going to need your help keeping the art sluts at bay.”
Jess rolls her eyes. “Girl, you’re giving him no credit. I mean, I know more about his past than I’d like to, but he’s all about you 24-7 now. He isn’t going to fuck around because he knows it would mean losing you for good.”
“He would lose me if he screws around, but we’ve pledged to be faithful, and I’m going to trust him. But the more he can avoid them, the happier he will be.”
“Okay, if it makes you feel better, I’ll look out for him at all the events we go to. That’s where the bitches will most likely descend.”
“Thanks, Jess.”
“Oh, before I forget,” Brian says, interrupting. “Thomas is friends with a realtor in New York who’s totally plugged in. He can help you find a cool place.”
“That’s terrific. As long as it isn’t in Jonathan’s building, I’ll live anywhere decent.”
“Jonathan?” Brian shudders. “I haven’t heard that name in a while.”
“Listen to this. Ava ran into him in an elevator, and he hit on her,” Jess says.
“Hell, no!”
“Hell, yes. I have to admit, I admire the guy’s tenacity,” she adds.
We focus on our dinner and set out the fixings. The three of us could easily be dubbed the Three Stooges with the way we fall over each other as we dive into making our tacos. I surprise myself by eating three. Now that I finally have my appetite back, I’m making up for lost time.
Later, as we clean up, Brian pulls me into his arms and gives me a long hug, rocking me gently.
“What?”
“I’m gonna miss you, girl,” he says tenderly.
I bury my face in his broad chest. “Stop…you know I’ll lose it if you get mushy.”
“Sorry, I just got overwhelmed. But don’t worry, I’ll come visit.”
“A year will go fast, right?” I say to both of them.
Jess walks up. “Sure, baby, sure.” She sounds more sure than what the uneasy look on her face suggests.
Later, at home, Riley wanders into my bedroom to talk.
“Hey, Ava, I’ve been wondering…now that you guys are doing better, is Max considering moving to New York?”
“I wish. He knows he can’t handle it. So, even though we’re doing better now, me pushing him into it is only going to cause more stress. We’ll just have to figure out how to navigate a long distance relationship for a year.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. But at least it’s just a year,” Riley commiserates.
“It’s okay, because I think he’s coming around. I mean, now he swings between happy because he thinks he’s going to persuade me to stay calmer because he believes we can make it through the year.”
“Well, that’s a big improvement.”
“Exactly.”
“If it makes you feel any better, Dylan’s on a mission to convince Max that you guys can make it.”
My heart swells. “Really? And I used to think he didn’t like me.”
“Oh, he does like you. You guys have been in some awkward situations together. But he knows absolutely, without a doubt, that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened, or will ever happen, to Max. Over the years, Dylan and Max’s friendship slipped into a purely business arrangement, and most of that was due to the fact that he couldn’t stand who Max had become. The longer you guys are together, the closer they’ve become. Dylan has his old friend back, and he doesn’t want to lose him again.”
“Oh, Riley, you’re going to make me cry.”
“Just remember, we all have your back. You have an entire team here dedicated to making this work. If either of you get off track, we’ll be all over it. So, don’t you worry. Your man is in good hands.”
“Thanks, I swear I don’t know what I’d do without you guys. How will I ever repay you for all that you’ve done for me since we met?”
“Well, you can start by loaning me that number you wore to the TV party recently. Dylan is finally taking me away this weekend, and I want to look especially hot.”
“It’s yours. Anything else?”
“How about a foot rub?”
I make a face and laugh. “I don’t think so. You’re one demanding girlfriend, aren’t you!”
“Yes, I am, and that’s one of the reasons why you love me so.”
“Yes, I do.” I push her out the door. “But I’m beat, so off to bed, princess. We both need our beauty sleep.”
Several days later, I face the ocean as Max wraps his arm around my waist. “I love Saturdays…a whole day with nothing to do but play with you.”
“Don’t forget we have Joe’s birthday party tonight,” he says.
“Oh, yeah, but it’ll be fun. All of our friends will be there.”
“That’s right.” He smiles broadly.
“Do you know we have our very own cheering squad?”
“Cheering squad?”
“Our friends say they’ll do whatever it takes to keep us together.”
“Really?”
“Yes, evidentially we’re such a spectacular couple, they refuse to give up on us. When I’m working my ass off in New York and pining for you, they are going to keep the floozies away, so you’ll still want me when I get home.”
He ro
lls his eyes. “You’ll always be the one I want.”
He pulls me closer and gives me a kiss before we return to the house from the beach. We stop to brush the sand from our feet.
“Should we start lunch? Are you hungry yet?”
“Actually, can we wait a bit? ArtOneWorld sent me some sample DVDs to watch, and I’m hoping they give me an idea of what to expect.”
He looks at his watch. “Okay, I’ll start the burgers in about an hour. How’s that sound?”
“Great. Thanks.” I kiss him before heading into the den.
But an hour later, when Max comes to tell me lunch is almost ready, he finds me curled up in the corner of the couch, crying.
“Ava? What’s wrong?”
I brush the tears off my cheeks. “I can’t do this.”
“Can’t do what?” A look of concern moves across his face.
I frantically wave one of the DVD boxes. “Be a TV host. What were they thinking? I have no training for this type of thing. I wasn’t even in my high school play. And now I’m going to be on a show millions of people could watch. It’s a recipe for disaster!”
He sits next to me on the couch and slides his arm over my shoulders.
“Ava, you’re going to be great. Like they said, you’re a natural. Do you really think they would sign you up for this if they thought you couldn’t do it?”
“But these people are pros! What if I can’t do it? What if I freeze and stumble over my words? Or even worse, what if I sound like a babbling idiot?” I hurl the DVD case across the room like a petulant child. Max remains remarkably composed, considering I’m unraveling before his eyes.
“You could never sound like an idiot. But if you try it and decide you don’t like it, or they don’t think it’s working, then I suppose you’ll have to come back and live with me. So either alternative is pretty damn good.”
I fall back and settle under his arm, quietly sniffling while trying to calm myself down.
“Hey, I have an idea that could help, but I need to make a call. Will you be okay for a few minutes?”
I nod mutely.
The Masterpiece (Work of Art #3) Page 14
