I flipped on the light switch. Standing in the middle of my bedroom was a little white puppy with brown spots on his head and dark brown eyes. Eating a big pile of candy. It had a hard time barking with candy in its mouth. The sound it made with the candy in its mouth sounded exactly like the sound we'd been hearing since my annoying nephew hauled me upstairs. "What's going on here!?" I yelled at the puppy. My nephew had his eyes slightly open as he hung on my head. "Sorry, did you want some? I found it!?" The little dog spoke fast as he tried to chew his candy. "No! This party is strictly NO DOGS ALLOWED!" I told him. The puppy's eyes instantly grew large and very sad. I could tell I'd hurt the little one's feelings. Soon Casey's eyes were also sad as he stared into the eyes of the Puppy. I didn't cry myself of course… Well, maybe a little bit. Soon I said "Fine… You can stay." The Puppy got really happy, ran up to us and started licking my face. "Awe, no! Off! Get off! Augh!" I shrieked. The puppy flopped off of me to the floor. "Sorry!" He said; all perky and quick. He told me his name was Diddy and he was looking for a home. From there on out he decided he was my step-brother. I have no idea where he could've gotten the idea from but since that day he called me "Brother!" When I was writing in my study he'd come in and yell "Brother!
I want Ice cream, do you want Ice cream!?" When I was off doing my signature stand-up comedy he'd text me on his cell phone saying "Brother! Let's play when you get back!" Then five seconds later he'd text me saying "Please get back soon! I miss you soooooo much!!!!!!!" those were his exact words. Diddy was getting on my nerves, he was almost as annoying as Casey and he never left, at least with Casey I barely ever have to see him… With Diddy, he was ALWAYS THERE!!! He'd chew on my plush slippers, lay in my lap whenever I was sitting in my luxurious chair. I was going out of my mind. It had nearly been a year since I found that puppy munching candy in my bedroom… It was nearly time for my annual new year's party. But I couldn't promise any of my guests that no dogs would be at the party now that Diddy was here to stay, and I couldn't kick the little guy out. Annoying or not, the chubby little guy has no experience surviving on his own.
I had to do something. I had to keep him hidden. So I hooked him to a leash in my bedroom and turned on some music for him to listen to, he didn't seem to like it all that much but I told him "Stay here and be quiet. I'll come back later with meatballs." That made him smile, but LATER for a puppy came sooner than it would for a cat. Either way, I figured leaving him in my room would be the best way to keep him out of sight. Nobody beside's Casey and I saw Diddy last year… Besides, a whole year's gone by since the previous party, Casey's probably forgotten the puppy we found back then by now. "Hey Uncle Charlie! Where's the dog!?" He shouted at me as he ran in my house.
Sunna and her husband Mr. Fluffy walked through the door right behind him. "Dog? What dog?" Sunna shrieked. I yanked Casey over to the kitchen (a few feet from the entryway) and said to him. "There is no dog, ok… UMMM… We're playing a game of pretend. Dogs scare your mother so we're pretending there is no dog." I told him. "But Why??" He asked. "Because it's the right thing to do." "Why!?" "Because I want you to." "Why??" I stopped talking and stared him down… … … .. … .. … … .. … … .. … "Because if you don't pretend you'll never see your kitty cat climbing tower I got you for Christmas ever again." I explained calmly. Casey nodded his head and walked back over to his parents. I walked back over to my sister. "What's this about a… D… D.. Dog?" She stuttered. I turned to her, holding my hands together as I watched her take off her coat and hang it on my coat rack. "Oh, he drew me a funny picture of a dog last year and he was wondering where it was, but I told him I couldn't find it. Yah, that's it." I lied. "Oh good." She said relieved. "Speaking of year, this next year I think we should schedule more play dates with you and Casey. I was thinking, movie nights, camp outs, stuff like that." She went on. Good grief I hoped I could get out of this, but the way Casey was smiling I knew I wouldn't be able to. Mr. Fluffy was silent as usual. By this time Diddy was whimpering in my room and I was leading my Gramps, cousin, My sister and her family, my best friend Chappy (a tuxedo cat like myself) and Buffalo Dave (woodsman from the north) down to the living room by the fire. In the kitchen I had laid out a spread of fried food, Candy Kitty Cat Food (boiled down), Catnip cake and of course… MILK. "This year" --I told my guests-- "I thought we'd try something new and ACTUALLY stay up for New Years." They all looked at me in shock. Chappy (a tuxedo cat like myself) blinked a bit and laughed "YOU want to STAY AWAKE!?" I nodded to his question, knowing myself this year I had to keep the guests from finding Diddy. "Yes, I know it's a bit out-of-the-ordinary, but I thought it might be fun." My guests didn't know whether or not to believe me but they seemed to go ahead and play along anyways.
As the night went on It grew harder to keep Diddy quiet and the guests unaware of his presence. one time Mr. Fluffy got closer to the hallway and said "Is there music playing?" I pulled him away and handed him a piece of Catnip cake on a plate. "No, there's no music.. Nope." I shoved him over to the dining room table where he sat down quietly and nervously. "Balloons don't fly without helium." Gramps shouted out before biting into some Candy Kitty Cat food. As we approached midnight, my trips to my bedroom holding plates of meatballs were becoming suspicious. Sunna met me outside my door when I left with an empty plate. She could hear the music inside and the whimpering and she could see the empty plate. I could see her big cat eyes questioning me before she asked, "Charles!? What's going on?" Diddy must've heard the voice from inside the room because I could hear him growling. "Ohhhhh, those meatballs, they've made me very gassy--" I pretended that the growling was from me. "--That's why I'm eating them in my room with jazz music. I just really love meatballs." I smiled and groaned to fake it. She had her furry arms crossed, looking at me suspiciously… But then she smiled back at me "You do love your Turkey Charlie." She giggled and walked back down the hallway to the kitchen with the others.
It was now just twenty minutes until midnight, I thought Diddy had fallen asleep by now but I was sadly mistaken. He was howling. "What's that sound?" Sunna asked the group. "Coyote!" Yelled Buffalo Dave as he held up his yellow suspenders. "Don't ya' eat bananas on Tuesdays!" Grandpa Chester called out, for no reason. The howling continued. Mr. Fluffy sat in the recliner and said nothing (as usual). Casey sat up off the ground. He was laying on an orange throw pillow that matched his orange striped furry body. Casey held up his smart phone, looking at the screen he says "My phone's analyzed the sound.--" I panicked and tried to signal him with my facial expressions from the couch, but my guests probably just thought it was my gas (word gets around). "There's an app for that?" My best friend Chappy asked Casey, he stood by the Christmas tree that was still up since Christmas. Casey nodded and finished what he was saying. "It's a Dog howling." It took a second for him to process the mistake he'd just made, but then he did. "Oops." He gasped quietly as he saw my angry face.
The next thing I knew, Mr. Fluffy (shockingly) threw open my bedroom door and all my guests piled in behind him, blocking the door. They found Diddy munching Meatballs, among ripped up paper and a rubber bone; laying out on the floor. "Hi!" Came his surprisingly perky greeting. "EEK!" Sunna shot to the ceiling and held onto the ceiling fan, she was so thin and lightweight that it didn't fall down with her on it. I dashed into the room, climbing over my friends and family and down by Diddy's side. I held my arm around him as he sat and ate his meatball. "Yes, It's a dog! He's Diddy, my brother." Everyone gasped at my dramatic admitting of my loyalty to a dog, even Buffalo Dave. I then proceeded to explain how I met Diddy last year and how he needed a home and how I took him in. They all seemed to accept him rather well after that, all except Sunna who was scared half-to-death. I let the two of them sit at the dining room table together and get to know each other better. As it turns out they both very much like quilts. Soon it was January First yet again, We all watched the ball drop last night on TV, Casey meowed it live on the Meower social network, saying in
most of his posts "I love the pretty colors!" I was very excited, I was packed and ready with my trusty suitcase to head off on a stand-up comedy tour, starting with San Francisco (They love me there). Diddy didn't want me to leave but I knew he'd be a good boy while I was gone, it would only be a few weeks, how much trouble could a puppy get into… Diddy, Casey and his mother met me by my entryway to see me off. "Good luck Charlie." Sunna told me. "I LOVE you Uncle Charlie! My phone says that comedy is useless so I hope you do a great job." I took his phone from his paw, interrupting his texting and threw it saying "Here, Diddy, go get it!" Diddy Chased the phone back into the house and started gnawing on it. Casey chased Diddy through the hall and the bathroom and the kitchen too. Sunna didn't even complain to me as I left the house. That was when I realized a dog's loyalty has its benefits.
"Charlie's Cat Tails" By: Charlie Page 2
