by Sterling, J.
I choked back the emotions brought on by his words and released a small sigh. “OK, babe. I’ll sit with Matteo.”
He closed his eyes, and the tension lines faded from between them. “Thank you. It’s my job to protect you. It’s my job to keep you safe. Let me do it or I’ll fucking go insane.”
“I already said OK.” Jack was right, and I didn’t want to fight anymore.
“You already said OK?” He mimicked my voice and I glared at him. “That’s right, you said OK.” He took two steps toward me, and my insides quivered as he neared.
Without warning my back was pinned against the wall, his mouth hot and wet all over my neck. “I love you,” he breathed against my flesh, my legs nearly giving out. “Don’t argue with me about your safety again,” he demanded, and I moaned in response.
“Goddammit, Cassie. What did I tell you about those sounds?” His tongue made its way toward my mouth, where I parted my lips in anticipation of him.
We were ravenous. So hungry for each other, it was if we couldn’t stop from eating this meal if we wanted to.
I don’t want to.
He sucked at my bottom lip, bringing it into his mouth before nibbling and grabbing hold of it with his teeth. I couldn’t control the sounds escaping from my lips as my tongue licked and explored the inside of his mouth before he pulled back slightly.
“Tell me you love me.” His voice was hot, commanding me to obey.
And obey I did. “Of course I love you.”
He forced my arms up with one of his hands and with his other, he pulled my shirt off and dropped it on the floor. His dark chocolate eyes took me in before his head dropped and he buried his face between my breasts. His fingers unclasped my bra, and the material between his lips and my skin fell away, baring me to him.
I tangled my hands in his hair as his hardness pressed against me. He grabbed my ass and lifted up. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his waist, grinding into him with each step he took as he walked me toward the bedroom.
“Jesus, Kitten. I’m going to fuck you on this floor if you don’t stop doing that.”
I laughed, his tongue entering my mouth with new determination. He placed me on the bed before positioning himself on top of me. My hands groped his back, fingers digging into his muscles as I lifted my hips to meet his.
I traced the lines of his muscles down his arms before working my hand between our hips. I fumbled with the button on his jeans until he gently lifted up, making sure not to put all of his weight on me. I unfastened the button, unzipped the zipper, and worked his jeans down over his hard ass.
He pushed himself from the bed, standing to remove the rest of his clothing. Then he looked at me, a deep grin appearing. I lurched forward, desperate to plant kisses on each dimple when he forced me back down. He removed my pants and underwear, and I lay on top of the bed, completely exposed.
“You’re so beautiful. I love everything about you.” He planted a kiss on top of my foot. “Even when you’re stubborn…” His tongue glided up my shin as excitement beelined throughout every fiber of my body. “And bossy.” His lips kissed my thigh, his tongue continuing its assault. “And a pain in my ass.” His breath warmed the skin near my hip.
He slipped a finger inside me, and I moaned with pleasure. I rocked against him, his tongue licking my lower stomach before working its way up toward my breasts. He sucked and nibbled as my back arched with pleasure. “You like that?” He moaned against my skin.
“Mm-hmm,” I hummed, tangling my fingers in his hair again. “Get in me,” I said, and he moved his hardness toward me before pulling it away. “Get in,” I repeated, and he inserted the tip of himself inside of me.
I gasped and shuddered at the feeling of him entering me as I pulled on him to move deeper. He gave in, and my legs spread further apart, welcoming him. He rocked in and out of me as my hips ground against him, creating that familiar building of sensation. He pushed inside me with intensity, his tongue licking, his mouth sucking wildly from my breasts to my neck and back down again. I moaned and his mouth crushed against mine, silencing my pleasure. He rocked harder, faster as I moved against him, heading toward climax.
“You feel so good. You always feel so fucking good,” he breathed against me, his arms flexing above me.
My hands followed the lines of his back until they landed on his ass. I squeezed, pulling him forcefully into me. “Oh, Jack. Just like that.” I worked against him, pulling, grinding, building. He quickened his pace, our bodies moving in unison as we barreled down the same ecstasy-ridden path.
“Fuck. Yes, Jack. Oh my God.” I gasped as my body shook and trembled with excitement. The heat rushed all through me, my body throbbing as Jack worked himself into a frenzy.
“Fuck, Cassie. You’re so fucking hot.” His mouth sucked at my breasts, taking them into his mouth between his teeth. I grabbed his hair, pulling at it lightly as I moved my body with his. He hardened even more inside me, still working in and out as he pushed in deep one last time. Grunting loudly, he exploded inside of me, pulsating with each small thrust.
He pulled out slowly before collapsing next to me. “Go pee. I know you have to.” I swatted his shoulder before hustling from the bed into our bathroom.
A moment later, I joined him back in bed, pressing my head against his chest as he wrapped an arm around me. “While we’re on the subject of safety…”
“We’re not on the subject of safety,” I teased before continuing, “anymore.”
His chest rose up and down sharply, my head moving with it. “I think we should look into getting a new place. Not that this isn’t great, but I think we can afford something a little bigger with a full-time doorman.”
I couldn’t fight the fact that I’d been thinking the exact same thing. And I would feel much more secure having a full-time doorman instead of a part-time one only at night. “I’ve thought about that too.”
“We could look somewhere closer to Central Park if you wanted.” My insides fluttered to life at his suggestion. I adored Central Park and wanted to live near it initially, but couldn’t afford a place on my own. At least not where I looked. Before I answered, he added, “I know it’s farther from your office—”
“It’s not that much farther,” I interrupted, lifting my head from his chest. “I mean, it is, but I don’t care. I love Central Park, especially the area near the Plaza Hotel. How’d you know that?”
He grinned like a mischievous Cheshire cat. “Your pictures online for the magazine.”
I remembered the photos I’d taken of the park and its surroundings when I first moved here. “Oh, right. Back when you were stalking me.”
Without any real effort, he pounced, twisting and turning my body at his whim. I was on my back before I could even think. “Yeah. When I was stalking you, Brat,” he said, sitting on me. “You took a picture of that fountain and that really pretty hotel. Or at least your pictures made it look pretty.”
I smiled, trying to push him off me, but my moves were useless against him. “That’s the Plaza Hotel. It doesn’t need me to make it look pretty. It’s amazing, and I’m quite sure I’m in love with it.”
“I still haven’t seen any of that stuff, you know?” He pinned my arms above my head before inching his face closer to mine. “You’re a bad host.” His lips brushed against my lips, softly at first before he deepened the kiss. Emotions and heat swirled inside me.
Thank God I was already lying down because my knees would have buckled completely the instant he started that kiss. I struggled to remember what we were talking about before he erased all my thoughts. “Host? I’m not a guy, and you’re not my visitor. You live here now.”
A gorgeous dimple flashed on each cheek. “True. But I still think you should show me around. I have Thursday off.”
“Well, I don’t. I have to work.”
“So call in sick,” he suggested, and my temper started simmering. “It’s my only day off this month.”
“I’m no
t calling in sick!” I shoved at him, and he relented. Sliding his body from mine, I pushed up from the bed into a sitting position. “Wait. Is Thursday really your only day off this whole month? Seriously?”
His head cocked to the side, sympathy glimmering in his eyes. “We only get two days off a month, Kitten. And they’re usually travel days.”
“That’s insane,” I said, my shock taking over. “I mean, I knew you were gone half the month for games, but I guess I never realized that you didn’t have any real days off.” Jack’s baseball schedule wasn’t his fault. It’s not like he controlled it. It was one more thing to adjust to in our new life together.
He shrugged. “I know it’s a lot. But listen.” He reached for my hands. “I have Thursday off. I would love to go look at new places if we have time, and I want you to show me some of your favorite spots in the city. OK? Maybe you can take a half day?” His thumb caressed my hand. As if sensing my hesitation, he added, “We’ll make this work.”
“I know. It’s fine.” I attempted to mask my concern.
“No, it’s not. What’s wrong? What are you worried about? Is it the other girls?”
I shook my head. “No, it’s not that. At least, not right this second.” I faked a smile. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s just that we’ll barely see each other for the next few months?”
“You could always quit your job and come with me. Then we’d never be apart.” He smirked as my stomach dropped and my pulse quickened.
“Don’t say that. You know I hate when you say shit like that,” I warned as heat rushed to my cheeks.
“Ah, Kitten. I’m just messing around.”
“Well, don’t,” I snapped, my tone harsh and laced with bitterness. This wasn’t the first time Jack had mentioned me not working. I flashed back to meeting Gran and Gramps for the first time when he’d said the same thing. “Not with my job, OK? It’s important to me. I want to work. And if that means we don’t get to be together that often during your season, then,” I shrugged again, “I guess we won’t be together that often.”
“I just want you to be happy,” he admitted sweetly but it was too late. Jack picked the one topic that forced me to react in such a vicious way that I wanted to reach across the bed and rip his heart out. My defenses crawled into every crevice of my body, spreading its barbed wire protective coating all around.
“Then don’t ask me to quit again. Not even in a joking way. It tears me up inside.” My work was the one thing I had that was all for me. It wasn’t about Jack. It wasn’t about us. It wasn’t about anyone or anything else. “Photography is my passion, Jack. It owns pieces of my soul, my guts, everything inside of me. My entire being comes alive whenever I stand behind that lens shooting, and I worked really hard to get to this point.”
“I know you have. And I’m sorry,” he backpedaled. “I just meant that I’ll miss you. I want you with me all the time. I hate traveling, and I’ll just wish you were there. But we’ll never have that as long as you’re working.”
I whipped my head in his direction, my gaze glaring. “I can’t not work, Jack. Don’t you get that? How can you, of all people, not get that?”
I learned a long time ago that no one was going to do things for me. If I had a dream I wanted to reach, I had to claw my way toward it and grab it on my own. I wouldn’t give up what I’d worked so hard to achieve. I wouldn’t let anyone take it from me. Jack, of all people, had to be able to relate. He worked just as hard as I did to get the things he wanted. Both of us had been let down by the few people in the world you’re supposed to trust implicitly. All the unfulfilled promises from my dad ran through my mind, but the constant disappointment I’d felt growing up paled in comparison to both of Jack’s parents choosing to leave him.
“I do get that. What the hell are you talking about?” He tugged at his hair.
“If I stopped taking pictures and stopped working, I’d be lost. I wouldn’t know who I was without it,” I admitted, the very thought causing my insides to feel pitted and empty.
“How do you think I’m going to feel when my baseball career is over?” He sat up straight and faced me.
“But you said once that you’d give it up. For me! How could you say that?” I couldn’t imagine giving up that part of myself for anyone. Not even Jack.
“Because, goddammit, it’s the truth! I’m going to be a fucking mess without this sport. I don’t know who I am without baseball, and it’s going to take me some time to figure it all out when that day comes. But I’ll be able to do it as long as I have you.”
I shook my head, disbelief running amuck through me. “Listen to me,” he demanded. “One day baseball will end. It’s a fact. And that day is going to be one of the worst days of my life. But if I have to go through the end of my career without you?” He huffed. “Then you might as well just put me out to pasture like one of those old fucking cows. Because there is no me without you. Jack Carter does not exist as a full person without Cassie Andrews.”
My chest heaved as I fought back the hot tears that threatened to pour from my eyes as he continued. “Without you, I’d be a shell of a man. A hollowed-out, empty, lifeless carcass. And I know that because I’ve been there. I lived through it. I lived through losing you due to my own stupidity, and I can never explain to you what that felt like.”
I allowed my tears to fall, but I couldn’t say anything yet.
“Cass, I don’t want you to stop working. I don’t want you to give up anything for me. But I need you to know that I’ve learned from losing you. I know how bad it feels to not have you in my life, and I never want to experience that again.”
I sucked in a breath. “I can’t imagine my life without you, Jack,” I wholeheartedly admitted. “Even when we were apart, I always hoped that we’d find our way back to each other. But I don’t like feeling pressured to choose between you or my job. It’s not fair, and it’s a decision I don’t want to have to make.”
“Because I won’t win?” he asked, his voice soft but firm.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “But I can’t believe we’re fighting already.”
“We’re not fighting. We’re just figuring things out.”
“No. I’m pretty sure we’re fighting.”
I Won’t Let Anything Happen to Her
Jack
I knew what Kitten meant last night, even if she didn’t. She felt like choosing between her job or her heart was like being asked to literally choose me over herself. I wanted to blame her, but I couldn’t. She didn’t know what it was like. Not really. To live without the one person you knew you were meant for. I’d experienced the pain of being forced to live without her while I had achieved my biggest dream.
It wasn’t enough.
Having baseball but no Cassie didn’t make me happy. I was pretty sure it was the same for her with photography and no me; she simply hadn’t realized it yet. She hadn’t really been forced to. At least not from the perspective I had been. I fucked up. I lost her. It’s different when you’re the one who made the mistakes.
I tried not to wake Cassie as I dialed the office where Matteo worked. I purposely woke up before her alarm was set to go off to handle this.
“Good morning, Mr. Lombardi. It’s Jack Carter.”
“Good morning, Mr. Carter. Is everything working out with Matteo?” His accent echoed through the phone.
“That’s what I’m calling about actually.” I attempted to explain before he interjected.
“If Matteo’s not working out, we have plenty of other drivers.”
I released an irritated breath. “No, Mr. Lombardi, Matteo’s fine. I wanted to see about booking him longer on the days I have home games.”
“Ah, how much longer?”
“I need him to stay at the field from the time he drops Cassie off until we leave.” I didn’t want to tell this guy my reasons for needing Matteo to stay. I wanted to keep that business as private as possible. “So, that’s probably an extra four or five hours. Is
that possible?”
“How many days a week do you have home games?”
“We have about thirteen home games a month, with usually six or seven of them in a row.”
I heard scribbling and the sound of papers being shuffled on the other end of the line. “That shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Are you sure? Because if it is, I’ll need to look into other options.” I needed a straight answer with no bullshit. If this guy wouldn’t give me Matteo’s time, I’d take Matteo from him and hire him exclusively. Or find someone else to do the job.
“It’s fine. Just make sure you give Matteo a copy of your schedule so we can write him off in the books.”
“Great. Can you have Matteo call me when he checks in?”
“Not a problem, sir.”
“Thanks.” I clicked the phone off before breathing out a sigh of relief. I’d half expected more of a battle for Matteo’s time. I appreciated it didn’t come to that. Now I needed to talk to Matteo. I needed someone who wanted to watch out for her, and he needed to be able to put Cassie’s safety above his own. Maybe he wouldn’t like the idea of his pretty little model face being put at risk. I guess I’d find out.
“Hey, you’re up early.” I turned around to see Cassie standing in the doorway, watching me. She looked so beautiful standing there that I couldn’t resist her. I eagerly walked toward her, wrapping her up in my arms, and squeezed. I kissed her neck, breathing in the smell of her skin.
“I’m so sorry about last night.” She tilted her head up to look at me. “I think I just get really defensive when it comes to my job.”
I looked into her green eyes, pushing the hair back from her face and tucking it behind her ear. “I know. It’s OK. I get it.”
“I hate fighting with you.” Her lips jutted out in a pout, and I smiled.
“I told you we weren’t fighting. We’re just figuring things out, OK?” I leaned down, planting a kiss on her cheek. “So listen, I talked to Matteo’s boss this morning, and he’s fine with him staying for the games. I’m going to meet with Matteo later today to make sure he can handle it.”
