Which is where he found himself now, thinking about the changes in his life over the past few days, marveling at how differently things had turned out than he had expected. How much better than he had ever hoped they could be.
When he finally dragged himself out of bed and made it downtown and then out to the grounds to watch the last few events, he found things had changed around town for him. No longer were the residents shunning him, keeping track of him out of the corners of their eyes like he was a vicious dog they were afraid would attack at any moment.
When he drove to the feed store yesterday with Gill, expecting to sit in the truck as usual while he sent the manager in with the order, he hadn’t been parked at the loading docks two minutes before old man Kennwort was there, talking his ear off. He suspected Transom had passed on parts of their conversation, making it clear Duck didn’t have any part of what Ray had done. That, combined with the widely spread knowledge of what happened to Bella, and his part in her rescue, was changing the path of the Nelms name in town. His kind of man very different from what his father had brought to the table. Another set of skeletons brought into the light of day, stripped of any power to wound once they became known.
Things were good for him and Brenda. Great, actually, he thought, smiling down at her as her nose wrinkled in her sleep. She had meant what she said about taking their problems in stride, and with both of them focused on moving forward, there wasn’t any energy left over to look backwards and hold a grudge.
He understood her fears so much better now, could see on her face the emotions when she talked about how broken she felt when she realized he had left after their night together. Her words, ‘Not worth a goodbye,’ shining a different light on what he had believed was a graceful exit, leaving her to pursue what he saw as her desires, not knowing he had taken her dreams with him when he left.
She had been embarrassed, cheeks reddened when she told him how quickly she had fallen into bed with Tommy, but bravely met his eyes as they talked about it, determined to have everything out into the open. He could even see how the immediate assumption the pregnancy was from their new relationship made the most sense, not the single night with him.
She told him about her talk with Elias, and then they talked to him together. Taking the time to explain their childhood infatuation while downplaying the years of hurt caused by the misunderstandings between them. What he told Eli was the truth: he had loved Brenda since he was fourteen, and they both emphasized to him that had his parentage been known, Duck would have been involved his whole life. So much time lost, he thought. Reaching out to trail a fingertip across Brenda’s forehead, he smoothed the dark blonde hair off her face and leaned in to place a soft kiss there.
He scooted down in bed beside her, resting his head on her pillow. As his eyes slowly closed, his last thoughts were of how different this house was now. A home, complete with a family he loved, his life full—filled up with joy and happiness. It had never been a happy place before, but now these walls weren’t caging him. Instead, they protected something that was so much more than just a place to live. “Home,” he muttered, his voice thick with sleep, “I came home.”
***
“I’m serious,” she said, leveling a look at him over the edge of her coffee cup. “What do you want for yourself?”
With a wry smile, he asked, “What does that even mean?”
“You said you’re staying here, right? In Lamesa?” He recognized uncertainty in her tone, hesitation threaded through with fear.
“Yeah, baby. I’m staying here. I have Mason’s approval, so I’m here for the duration. In it for the long haul.” He stepped close, plucking the mug from her hands and set it on the countertop before he turned back to her. Cupping her cheeks in his palms, he lifted, pulling her to her tiptoes for a kiss. “I’m here, with you and Elias, for as long as you want me.” He paused, looking down at her, and then amended his statement. “Actually, for as long as…well…ever. I’m not going anywhere, baby. Even if you decide you don’t want me anymore, I’m still gonna be here.”
She flashed him a quick smile, but he still saw the worry in her eyes. “So, then, tell me. What do you want for yourself here in Lamesa?”
Tipping his head to one side, he considered her words. The meaning behind the question seemed to point to what would keep him happy, which was her and Eli. Flat out, that was all he needed. Everything. But, he remembered Essa told him Brenda only stayed in town because she felt he needed her to, so he turned it around, asking her, “What do you want for you, Bee?” He tipped his head to the other side. “What do you want for us?”
When she sucked in a surprised breath, he knew he had hit on the real question. He slid his hands down her neck and across her shoulders, wrapping his arms around and pressing into her. Body to body, she wasn’t going anywhere until they hashed this out. “Brenda, baby, what would you think about making a change? Moving away, starting over? Or maybe we start looking at us splitting time between here and Chicago? We can do whatever you want, baby. I’m not picky. As long as I get you and Eli, I’ll be good.” He paused, then twisted his lips to one side. “And a chance to get in the wind frequently. Need my scoot like I need to breathe. Need to introduce you to the road, Bee. Get you bit by the bug.”
She laughed, leaning forwards to rest one cheek against his chest. Laughter now colored her voice when she said, “Silly man. I don’t want to…I don’t know. I’ve…me and Eli have been here so long, it’s hard to imagine being elsewhere. And he’s gonna hit those teenage years sooner or later.” She sighed. “We need to make sure he’s settled because friends are harder to make as you get older.” She lifted her head, looking up at him. “But, I’m not tied to the ranch. Eli would miss Tony and—“
He interrupted her, “And General.”
She grinned. “And General,” she agreed, adding, “and the colt. But, the only good memories I have of this place are tied up in just these past few weeks. Tied up in you. So, wherever you need to be, that’s where I want to be. I don’t want to hold you back from doing what you need to do, and really don’t want you to stay here out of some sense of loyalty.”
“It would be a big decision to leave, baby.” Tightening his arms around her, he pulled her against his chest, feeling her heart beating fast and strong. “Not a decision to make quickly, and not one we have to make today. Feel Eli out, see what the boy thinks. Gill could run the ranch without us easily, but the contracting business and rodeo are different beasts. Let’s consider everything, but know nothing is off the table. We can make this what we both want, baby.”
Soft and sweet, her lips moved against him as she whispered, “All right, Duck. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Little Bee,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you, too.”
Finding our way
“Like where you’re livin’ these days, brother. Got visitors headed your way.” He heard the grin in Slate’s voice over the phone as he talked over Duck’s attempt to question who. “My man, Blackie, and his woman, Peaches. Lottie. Good people. They’re coming through on their way west; told them they would be assured of a welcome at your place.”
“Always, brother,” he responded, shaking his head. “And you know them from…”
“My pre-Rebels travels.” With loud laughter, Slate hooted in his ear. “Hooked those two up in a good way. They’ll have all five kiddos with them so you can expect chaos for a few days. Be nice to my goddaughter, Randi. Do what you want with the rest of the hoodlums. I won’t vouch for Tater, Possum, Punkin, or Little Bit, but you be nice to my baby girl.”
“Jesus, Slate. What the hell were they smokin’ when they named their kids?” Now the laughter was shouted, and he saw Brenda’s head lift as she heard it ringing from the phone all the way across the room.
“I gave Blackie your number, man. He’ll call when they get close. It’ll be a couple days yet. They’re taking the scenic route.”
“Sounds good
, brother.” Duck grinned, responding to Slate’s sign-off of “Later” with his own.
He looked up to see Brenda studying him, a questioning look on her face. “We’re gonna have visitors, baby. Some friends of a brother. A man named Blackie, his woman Peaches, and get this, their five kids.” He watched her mouth drop open and grinned. “Yeah, need to figure out where we’re gonna put them all. Kids might like to bunk out in the barn, depends on the age. We’ll sort it out once they get here, okay?”
She nodded and then seemed to hesitate so he asked, “What, baby?”
“Does this happen a lot? People dropping in because they know someone you know?”
Even before she finished asking, he was nodding. “It’s part of it, Bee. They need a place to stay that won’t cost them an arm and a leg, and the knowledge that place is safe for them and their kids. Yeah, that’s something we can give them. Slate wouldn’t have asked if they didn’t matter to him, and since they matter to him, then they matter to me. It’s just part of it, part of being in the club. We look out for each other, and if it’s in our power to grant an ask from a brother, we will do it.”
“What if they’re not nice people?” She was trying to work this through in her head, he could tell, rolling around the pros and cons of being that kind of support system for someone. “What if they get up in your face?”
“There’re only here for a day, two at the most. I can reel it in for that long, even if they are assholes.” He laughed. “Or I make it clear they are being assholes and need to move along in a slightly expedited fashion.”
He sobered, looking at her. “If I believed there was danger to you or Elias, I’d kick them to the curb so fast you wouldn’t even see them go, Brenda. But, that’s part of trusting my brother, Slate. He vouched for them, which means if they abuse the welcome we extend, then they’re shitting on him. He wouldn’t put himself out there for just anyone, which means it’s unlikely they’re gonna be assholes. Brotherhood and honor mean everything in my world.”
“In your world,” she repeated his words with a slight shake of her head. “It sounds like you think you exist on a different planet.”
“Might as well,” he said, walking towards her. “I’m patched into a club where we pride ourselves on being our own men within the rules set down for the club. We don’t necessarily answer to government rules, except where it benefits us, and even then…shit, baby, even then we work it as needed. The club laws, the protocol we follow for our meetings and to control the membership, those things matter so much more than anything Uncle Sam could tell us.”
He pointed to the diamond on the front of his vest. “This means I hold myself above 99-percent of all men. That I’m in the one-percent group who isn’t afraid to make my own way. Who isn’t dependent on someone telling me what to think, or how to hold my mouth when I chew. I’m not a sheep, needing a shepherd to keep me safe. I’m a one-percenter, and I’m proud of that.”
She looked up at him, gaze trained on his face. “What part of your world will I live in?”
Frowning, he thought for a moment, remembering a conversation he had with Hoss not long ago about where Hope fit into things. “Language lesson, baby.” Pausing until she nodded at him, then he continued, “In my world, and I don’t use those words in any way other than exactly as you’ve already taken them. In my world, you’re my old lady.” At the flash of indignation in her eyes, he grinned. “Don’t mean you’re old, just means you are mine and you can have every expectation I’m yours, too. A partnership the whole club gets behind and protects. You own me, and I claim you.” Pausing again, he looked down at her. “With me so far, baby?”
There was a slight hesitation and she wrinkled her nose, but said, “Old lady, check.”
“Okay. So, I don’t have an official role in the club, but up to now, Mason, he’s the national president of the Rebels, moved me around as needed. Mostly because I didn’t have anything tying me down, not after we had eliminated the threat to Mica.” How bizarre, he thought, to talk about the death of my own brother in such a detached way. “But, my voice carries weight in the club. I carry weight. I’m a respected member, and without tooting my own horn, I can say I’m one of the men Mason trusts enough to bounce ideas around with. Means I know about shit before it goes down, and nine times out of ten, he makes it so I’m positioned in a way that best benefits the club.”
“I’ve never had an old lady before you.” Her eyes grew wide and he grinned, dipping down to lightly kiss the tip of her nose. “So this is fresh ground for both of us. But my old lady has responsibilities. If I need her to roll up a support run, organizing the grocery-getters and cages, then all I’d want to have to do is say is what’s needed. Give her…you, a rundown on where and when, so I can focus on my shit knowing you’ll have all of that in order.” He took a breath, because this was edging into complicated club territory, and he didn’t want to scare her off, but he also wanted her to understand how things were. While he might be Nomad right now, it didn’t mean the status would stick forever, which meant it was inevitable she would be around club.
“Club business is handled by the men. No exceptions, only if it touches on needing support for the families. If we have problems with other clubs, like the shit Bella ran into with her dad’s enemies, it’s up to the members to sort the shit. But, we can’t do it without the support and knowledge our families are safe and cared for.” He ran a hand over her cheek, tracing her lips with his thumb. “Sounds archaic, I know, but it’s my world, baby.”
“I get it,” she said immediately, pressing into his touch. “I do. And I know more than most that the support work can be just as hard as anything else.” She swept out a hand, indicating the ranch. “I can run a tractor, ride herd on the cattle, throw bales of hay, or fix fence with the best of the men we have. But even I can’t do everything. I know my limitations, and even more important, I believe I know my strengths. I’m much better at the organization than I am the execution of physical tasks like that. Doesn’t mean I can’t do it, just means I know where I can be most effective.” Shaking her head, she said, “I doubt all women feel that way, and it wouldn’t be true for a lot of them, but I get it. I’m not so hardheaded to argue things I know not to be true.”
Leaning forward, she said, “Doesn’t mean we won’t butt heads over stuff. But as long as the description doesn’t have me barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, I’m good with it.”
“How in the hell did I get so lucky?” Shaking his head, he stared down at her for a moment, thinking about some of the women he had known through the club, how some of them had been associated with a member for a decade and didn’t get things like his Bee did right off the bat. “Easy and beautiful. Makes me laugh…loves me.” Her lips parted, looking up at him.
“Barefoot is a personal choice,” he said, trailing his nose along hers, pressing his lips to her mouth in a brief, hard kiss he hoped conveyed how fucking proud he was of her. “In the kitchen, well you’re a hell of a cook, woman.” He kissed her again, hands slipping up to grasp her waist, pulling her closer. “And pregnant, that would be as soon, and as often as possible.”
“Duck,” she cried, laughing and slapping his shoulder, laughing again when he growled at her.
“Not kidding around here, baby. Already told you what I wanted, not backing down from that.” He snapped his teeth, playfully threatening her, his head coming up when he heard Eli’s clear laughter ringing brightly through the room. “Gonna eat your momma up, boy,” he growled, snapping his teeth again, feeling Brenda’s hands pushing at his chest, her uncontrolled laughter undermining her efforts. “Better save her while you can.”
“No, sir,” Eli said through his laughter. “She’s on her own in this.”
“Baby.” He leaned in, snapping his teeth again, pulling her tight against him, laughing as she collapsed against his chest. “Your boy ain’t gonna help you. You better work on—“
His words cut off when fingers dug into his side, poking a
nd pulling along his ribs. He looked down to find Eli plastered to his side, hands tugging at his shirt, trying to get to skin. “Boy,” he warned on a growl, then found himself laughing helplessly when Brenda’s fingers joined their son’s in the tickle attack.
Five minutes later, they were all collapsed, wheezing on the kitchen floor, having laughed themselves breathless. Brenda was on one side, his arm around her waist still. Eli was on the other, draped half over his chest and Duck grinned at the ceiling as Eli shook with mirth, quaking giggles still bubbling from the boy’s lips. Yeah, this life was far from sucking.
***
He stood on the porch and watched the huge pickup truck roll up the driveway, pulling to a smooth stop in front of the house as he lifted a hand in welcome. About half a second after it halted, the front doors flew open and shouts and laughter flowed out, the sound ringing through the yard. A large, dark-complexioned man was the first to exit, leaning back into the truck to shout, “I heard every word, woman. Bathroom, food, and sleep, in that order.” He reached to open the back door on his side and his hand disappeared into the backseat, pulling out a bag with a small child holding tight to the handle, dangling the bag until the child found its feet, draping the strap over their shoulder.
Lifting a hand, he shouted, “Duck, pleased to meet you. Got an outhouse this crew can destroy?” Leaning back into the truck, hands under their armpits, he brought out a slightly older child, also accompanied by a bag. Setting child and bag on the ground, he bent into the vehicle again, repeating the process with yet another child, this one a couple of years older than the two already extricated from the vehicle.
On the other side, a woman climbed out, ducking into the backseat on her side of the truck to emerge a few moments later, babe in one arm. She lifted one hand in a wave to Duck before leaning back into the truck. As a girl about Eli’s age climbed out on the driver’s side using Blackie’s arm as a launch pad, the woman straightened up with a bag in her other hand. Duck leaned back, calling into the house, “Brenda, Elias, they’re here. Eli, come help with bags, son.”
Rebel Wayfarers MC Boxset 3 Page 59
