“Deke, bring Mercy on inside. They’re ready to start.” At those words, the brunette sobbed again, her hands curling into the shirt under Deke’s cut, pulling herself tighter against him. At the same time, Willa’s arms withdrew, taking his prize with them, her son cradled to her chest once more. “Thanks,”—she looked at the nametag on his vest, a stolen mockery of Mason’s past—“…Ripper. Sounds like we need to head inside.” Looping one arm through Mercy’s, she wedged the woman between her and Deke and the three of them began the slow procession into the building.
He looked up and sucked in a hard breath when he saw Mason still looking at him. Stares locked across the heads between them, he waited for Mason to call him out. Waited for Mason to roar his name, for the masses of men to fall upon him and beat him to death with boots and bare fists. The moment passed when the trio’s path crossed between the men and their gaze was broken. Deacon took that chance to duck his head, turning and moving against the flow of men, headed to his bike parked on the fringes of the lot. He had seen what he came to see, found more than he expected. Mason’s little family was vulnerable.
War looms
Lamesa, Texas
Duck stood next to Fury, listening as Watcher gave instructions to his men. There had been unfamiliar cuts rolling through town for the past two days, and the Soldiers wanted to get shit locked down. He agreed it was a good idea, best done before some randoms decided to try and stake a claim, mistakenly thinking the club was weakened by what had gone down with Isabella. As often happened, the risk to one of their own had drawn various factions within the Soldiers together, solidifying the club.
“I want a three-a-day check on Bella,” Watcher told Pops, who nodded gravely in response, accepting the responsibility of ensuring the lines of communication stayed open between Chicago and Lamesa.
“Buy me some peace of mind, brother,” Watcher then told Spider, who also nodded in response. But that man did it while a crazy-ass grin split his face, hand already going to his phone before he had even turned away.
“Bammers.” His greeting was audible, but Duck didn’t comprehend the one-sided conversation he heard following. “Háblame. Necesito que traigas un cuerno de chivo para el que desea a la venta.”
Turning to Fury, Duck lifted one eyebrow in question. With a fierce smile that showed all teeth, more a snarl than anything, Fury sucked in air through his nose and quietly said, “Goat horn. Crazy man is buying AKs over the fucking phone. Banana clips, brother, he’s buying us some weight, in case we need to run ourselves out there for Watcher.”
“Fucking shit,” Duck muttered, eyes on the tattooed man who was now nodding and grinning, if anything, even wider. Since Lalo showed in town, the sense of danger had ratcheted to levels so high it was possible to taste the emotion. They still didn’t know who Lalo believed he had. All the chapters had checked in and there weren’t any leads at all, nothing any of them could put their hands to, nothing to wrap minds around. Knowing it was Fury that Lalo wanted, they were not fucking around making a show of force. Even if Lalo hadn’t known Fury was in town, that ignorance evidenced by his extreme play to get word to Mason, nobody was taking any chances. Fury being kin to Watcher was now common knowledge. Clubs who had watched as Fury worked hard to foster a trust with Mason knew it meant he would be protected by both clubs.
For Duck, if he had a chance to get his hands on the fucking Diamante member again, he would explain to the man, at painful length, how fucking wrong what he did was. He hadn’t shot at the kids, thank fuck, but they had been scared out of their mind when a rifle-toting stranger wanted to talk to them. Eli’d gotten Randi down the bank, hustling her between the two logs, covering and protecting her with his own body while he looked for a way to get them clear and safe.
Scared as fuck himself, he had still watched out for the girl, earning him hero status in her eyes. Randi had stuck to Eli like glue in the days since that visit went down, but not because she was still afraid. She wasn’t. That girlchild seemed fearless. Even Eli had worry written on his face every time he walked to the door, but not Randi. She was so unafraid she had told her dad and mom to not be in any particular hurry to come pick her up.
Once assured his girl was okay, Blackie spoke to Peaches and the two of them decided to do what Randi asked, so they were taking their time driving cross-country. When he told Brenda, she shook her head, and then, wrapping her arms around his waist, softly said, “Blackie is your brother. He and Peaches trust you. They trust you to do everything you can to keep her safe.”
“Us,” he had told her, just as softly, “they trust us.”
Now, standing in the large back room of the Soldiers’ bar in town, he felt the same trust coming at him from every man in the room. He was still considering what this meant when his phone buzzed in his pocket, and he saw Fury jerk, pulling out his phone, too. Fuck. Thumbing the screen open, he saw the message and glanced over at Fury, knowing he had the same set of instructions.
“What. The. Fuck?” Fury’s clipped question held a considerable measure of anger and Duck froze in place because it seemed way out of proportion to the request. They were always being moved around, pulled here by one club need, pushed there for a different one. Fuck, Fury had been back up to Chicago once already this trip, being called to the Fort wasn’t out of the norm. Pulling him solo with an active threat against him was interesting, but Fury, like Duck, could handle himself.
“Looks like you’re in the wind, brother,” Duck said, frowning.
Lips thinning, Fury turned to look at him. “Yeah,” was all he said, then he whistled and Watcher’s head came up. “Recalled,” was the only word Fury said and Duck knew the puzzlement on Watcher’s face was mirrored on his own. Thumb moving over his screen, Fury typed a response, and Duck’s phone buzzed again, then again, the two near-soundless vibrations coming so close together it nearly seemed like a single notification.
He looked down to see two messages, one from Fury, and one from Mason. In the wind, was what Fury had sent, and just below it in the window, Make sure he leaves alone, was from Mason.
***
Duck heard the shouting through the big, double doors of the barn and he sprinted from the office, pelting across the open space to the porch, only slowing when he recognized the voices as Brenda and Elias. He paused for a moment beside the door, listening closely.
“I’m not a baby, Mom,” Eli screamed and there was a metallic crash. “I can do things without you crawling up my butt all the time. I do my chores,” his voice went from a scream to a screech and Duck winced, “every single day.”
“I know you do, Eli.” In contrast, Brenda’s voice was even and as normal as she could make it, given her anger rang through loud and clear. “And, I know you aren’t a baby.”
“Then stop calling me one.” Voice cracking, Eli gave a wordless shout and there was another crash, this time sounding like breaking glass.
Brenda barked, “Stop it.”
“You don’t care. You don’t care.” Duck squeezed his eyes closed tightly at the sorrow Eli shared in his tone. “I can’t be your little boy forever, Mom.” He was whispering now, but even lower, his voice was just as intense. “I’m not a baby, and I can take care of things without you hovering. You don’t have to remind me a dozen times to feed the chickens, because I do it. Every. Single. Day. I do things. I make sure what I can do, I do. It’s what you taught me, Mom. Make other people’s lives easier by carrying your own weight. So, that’s what I do. Every. Single. Day.”
“Elly-belly.” Essa spoke from further in the house. “Let’s you and me go for a walk, yeah?” Footsteps sounded, moving into the kitchen. “I find myself in desperate need of a walk. Wanna give me one?”
“Yeah.” Tears were thick in Eli’s voice when he responded and Duck moved quickly. He stepped off the porch and walked around to the side entrance of the kitchen, not wanting the boy to know he had overheard this most recent blowup. When the backdoor slammed shut, he moved inside, alr
eady knowing what he would find, what he had found the last half a dozen times Eli had gone at his mother.
“Bee,” he called, pulling her tear-filled eyes to him and then he waited as she ran across the room to bury her face in his neck. “He’s just going through a lot, baby.”
“He hates me,” she sobbed, voice breaking between every word. “Hates me so much.”
“He doesn’t hate you.” Arms tight around her, he reminded her of what she already knew. “He’s been through a lot in a short time. Tommy dying, and the shit he pulled on Eli before he passed. Then trying hard to keep things together for you. I bet you never knew how much you leaned on him in the weeks leading up to the rodeo. Now that’s behind you, and the pressure’s off, and he might feel like you don’t need him as much now. Only now, you’ve added me in the mix. His father, who’s never been around, suddenly holed up every night in the bedroom with his mother. Then throw in the shit by the creek with Lalo? Jesus, baby, it’s a wonder he’s not drooling in the corner.”
“That is a lot,” she admitted, trying to pull away but his arms tightened, holding her close.
“Yeah. Consider it an understatement, Bee. He made a friend, too, got to hang with her for a couple of weeks, and they got tight. They went through that shit together, got real tight. Now Randi’s gone, which means one more loss for him.” Her head moved, hair brushing his cheek and neck as she nodded. “Let’s cut him some slack, give him time to sort through his head. Essa’s good for him. They’re tight, too. Why don’t you see how he is when they get back, and then adjust your approach as needed, yeah?”
She nodded again, and he smiled, tipping his chin down so he could kiss the side of her head, lips pressing into her hair. “Now, baby. Kith me.” Smiling, he waited for her reaction and she didn’t disappoint.
When she tried to pull back this time, he gave her a few inches, looking down as she looked up at him, eyebrows raised nearly to her hairline as she said, “Seriously?”
Perfect for me
“How do I help make things right with Eli?” Duck asked the air in the empty office, not expecting an answer. Which was good, because no guiding spirits spoke from the ceiling, giving him parenting advice. He snorted, thinking, Even advice from the other side would be welcomed about now.
In the beginning of their ‘we are a family’ exploration, from the first night when the boy crawled into bed with them, things had been easy, the two of them falling into a comfortable relationship which existed separate from what either of them had with Brenda. The bonds Duck had been careful to tend when he met the boy had smoothed the way, making them feel like a family from the start. Eli settled in, still the boy Duck first met, sociable and respectful, outgoing and hardworking. It was good to see, and both he and Brenda had drawn more than one breath of relief, sharing proud looks over the boy’s head when he went out of his way to do things for Duck or his mother.
Even when Blackie showed with his family, when Eli met Randi and the other kids, he had still come to Duck for reassurances he was welcome, that what they had was real. He didn’t ask right out, of course, but he put himself into Duck’s path often enough and in ways which let everyone see his unease, making his mom note where he lacked confidence. Knowing what Eli had told him about Tommy, and putting that alongside the bits Bee had been comfortable sharing, he suspected the brutal truth-telling Eli had offered was the tip of the iceberg for a dysfunctional father/son relationship.
So, he suspected this was Eli testing him. Every time he turned around Eli was pushing and pulling, trying to rip reactions from Duck, hitting him from all sides. First with careful hero worship, to see if Duck would puff up, get a big head, or let down his guard and be whatever Eli thought he was really like underneath everything. Since the shit went down by the creek, he hadn’t been able to break through with the boy, not like he had before. They hadn’t been able to get back to where they were before Eli knew he belonged to Duck.
After the scene at the creek, it had been nothing but attitude and none of it good, directed both at him and at Bee. Eli acting out, turning a rough tongue to everyone around him except Randi, who he treated like glass. With what he was doing, the only reaction Eli received in return was a resigned disappointment from Duck, and his mom’s patient responses. Duck let Bee deal with the barbs sent her way, but it killed him to see Eli trying to find a soft spot like he did. Things had seemed to be slowly settling down until after Blackie and Peaches picked up Randi on their way home.
That’s when things fell to shit. Duck thought it had to be anger driving him. Anger he could have lost his mother or Randi. Anger the place which should be safe, always, wasn’t. He just didn’t know how to go about making the boy understand it would be okay.
Picking up his cell from the desktop, he dialed and waited through two rings, then heard his friend’s voice. “Mason,” he said, hearing the relief in his own voice. “Got a question for you.”
“Hit me,” came the quick response, and he smiled.
“When you found out about Chase, and you went down to visit for all those years, how did you keep him from…I don’t know, being pissed at you for not being there before?” The laughter that came through the phone startled him, and he looked at the phone, pulling it away from his head to scowl at the device. “I’m serious, brother. How did you deal?”
“Well, first off, don’t ever think you can do one damn thing to change how your boy feels about finding out about you being his dad. He feels it, it’s his emotion. He can own that. Doesn’t matter if it’s joy or hate, it is his, brother. You don’t get to tell him how to feel.” Mason’s voice still carried a thread of humor, but the tone was now serious. This was an important question from Duck and he knew it. “He feels it, you feel it differently, and I bet your woman feels it different yet again. You can try and guide him to a place where your viewpoints intersect, but that’s a crapshoot at best. Tell me what’s up, brother.”
“He’s acting out. Right after he found out, everything was cool for a while. He was glad, it seemed, but then he started up. Didn’t take long, we got a handle on it.”
“How did you get a handle on it, exactly?” At Mason’s question, his brows snapped together because he didn’t know.
Admitting this lack of knowledge wasn’t hard. Mason knew everything there was to know about Duck, so letting him in on this secret wasn’t a big deal. “I don’t really know. He just pushed until he hit a boundary Brenda and I didn’t back away from, and then he settled.”
“So he pushed and pushed, found a wall, backed off because he knew the lay of the land. Structured boundaries. Felt you out, probably trying to piss you the fuck off, see how you dealt with anger or frustration. Then he found a place where you and his mom stood side by side, liked what he found, and he was good. You were a match for his mom, who he knows and trusts.” Mason cleared his throat, and then asked, “Pains me to ask, but what’s changed since then?”
“Lalo,” was Duck’s direct answer, knowing Mason heard every nuance of anger and hate he held inside.
“Man comes at the kids, takes potshots at his mother, but they got away safe. She didn’t stick around, you told me that much. So she, what, took the kids back to the ranch, right?”
“Yeah. Took them up the creek bed until she believed they were far enough away, and then angled through the scrub to the house. They met the foreman along the way and she sent him to where I was.” Duck shook his head, remembering how good it had been to see Gill ride up, knowing the man had his back. He might not be a fan of the man’s lifestyle, meaning it wasn’t for him, but Gill had proven his worth that day, fearlessly riding to the clearing in order to make sure the man Brenda had described as ‘armed and goddamned dangerous’ wouldn’t get to Duck’s woman or kids. Or Duck. “Had my back, brother. I owe him huge.”
“Good you got that, man. Trust is hard earned, but that’s surely a trial by fire. So, back to your Brenda. She took the boy with her when she headed out of the fray?”
“Uh, yeah, she got him and Randi out, Randi being Blackie’s little girl.” The girl had bounced back fast, treating the whole thing as just another facet of her summer adventure.
“Leaving you behind. The man he barely knew, but liked. The man he just learned was his real dad, the man who had stood up to his tests, earning his…respect? Maybe affection?” Mason scoffed, and then laughed softly, a thread of derision in his voice. “While his momma totes him off with a little girl. Totes him off, taking them home like they were babies been out playin’ in the sun too long. A little girl that—until you and his momma showed up—he had been protecting.” There was silence on the phone for a beat as he turned over what Mason said, considering everything his friend pointed out. Dammit, he has the right of it.
Then Mason spoke again, that derision turning to a soft strength, “He’s scared, but he don’t know how to show it, so he’s trying to pretend he ain’t afraid out of his fucking mind that he nearly lost you. I bet he also thinks he lost your regard, his momma treating him like a kid. Boy that age, treated like a little girl and he knows it because there was a little girl there and she got the exact same as him. He’s not going to see how precious he is to his momma…to you. Won’t know what went through your head when you saw Lalo, heard the gunfire, knew your boy was vulnerable to that shit.
“Brother, his head is full of ageing panic, fresh shame, and not a little bit of misplaced anger. You gotta talk to him, Duck. Show him your fear. Teach him to embrace the feeling, rise above it, and become better on the other side. You know how this shit works, brother. You’ve done it yourself, seen many of our brothers deal. Help your boy learn how to be a man. Help him, so when he needs the lesson most, he can reach back, bring it out and look it over. Help him turn that fear into courage, brother.”
Rebel Wayfarers MC Boxset 3 Page 62
