“Shit, here I go,” John said, trying to feel strong. Just as he’d opened his contacts, his phone lit up with a call from Camron’s cousins. John wondered what their fate had been, as he hoped that nobody else had to die tonight. “Yeah,” he answered, his voice dismal.
“What the fuck happened, nigga?” the cousin asked. “Did you get that nigga to a hospital or what? We was wonderin’ and waitin’ to hear. We wound up holdin’ the cop off in the right way and shootin’ his tires out and shit so we could get the fuck outta there. So, did you get him to a hospital or what? What the doctors say?”
John sighed, looking over at the interstate zooming by a couple of blocks down. Something about the trucks zipping by caught his attention. He felt so numb to the world. “Yeah, I got him to a hospital,” he answered. “I’m up here.”
Camron’s cousin could hear the anguish in John’s voice. It was as if the dude was completely empty inside. “What you talkin’ about, man?” he asked, concerned that his favorite cousin might have just lost a friend. “What the doctors say, John? What they say?”
John sighed. “He gone,” he answered. “He gone. He gone, man. He gone.” He wiped his eyes. “I got him up here as fast as I could and shit, but… Damn, this shit is fucked up. My nigga gone. My nigga gone and he was there helpin’ me out with my shit. I can’t fuckin’ believe this shit. This shit fucked up.”
Camron’s cousin let John know that they were on their way up to the hospital. John warned them to be careful and to avoid the main streets since the cops would be zeroing in on the club. If Race hadn’t been carried away by any of his so-called friends, he would surely be humiliated when the cops got there and found him naked on the concrete with a leash around his neck.
When John hung up with Camron’s cousin, he went back into his contacts to figure out who he’d call to let Judge’s family know that he’d passed away. He found his brother’s phone number, but then remembered that he’d gotten locked up recently. Then John noticed that he had another number for Judge’s brother listed with the word ‘house’ at the end. “The house phone,” he said.
Judge had primarily been raised by his father and stepmother. In fact, John remembered Judge talking about how he really saw his stepmother as more of a mother than he’d ever actually seen his mother. There was no doubt in John’s mind that this news was going to break her heart. He built up the strength to press the number then put the phone up to the side of his face.
“Hello?” a young girl answered.
Another tear rolled down from John’s eye. He looked back out at the road to sort of zone out of the situation as he spoke. The little girl who had answered was Judge’s seven-year-old sister. She’d been staying in the house with the rest of them, even though she technically was supposed to live with her grandmother.
“Nicki?” John asked. “Is this Nicki? This is John.”
“Hey John!” Nicki said, her voice full of so much youth and happiness. “Yeah, this is Nikki.”
“I know it’s late,” John said. “Who all is still up?” He could hear people talking in the background, as their house was literally the party house of the block.
“Umm,” Nicki said. “I don’t know. I’m in my bedroom and I’m supposed to be sleep, but I’m not. Why? Who you wanna talk to?”
“I don’t know,” John said. “Who up right now? Your daddy up? Step mama? Auntie? Who all there?”
“Yeah, my daddy up,” Nicki said. “I can hear him out there talkin’ to some of his friends. They in the kitchen, but they told me to not come in there when they in there.”
“Okay,” John said, appreciating the little girl’s innocence. “Sorry I gotta ask you to do this, but can you take the phone to your daddy? I gotta talk to him about somethin’ and it’s real important. Can you take the phone to your daddy so I can talk to him real quick?”
“Yeah, okay,” Nicki said. “Wait a minute while I go out there.”
John sniffled and took a deep breath. He’d never had to make this kind of call before. Again, it was something he’d always seen in the news, but had never dared to dream that it was a situation he would having a starring role in someday. He secretly hoped that the little girl would take as long as possible to get the phone to her father, but his hopes went ahead. It wasn’t long before he heard louder talking in the background, signaling that the girl was out in the living room with the adults. Some asked her what she was doing up, but she would explain that John was on the phone. The girl entered the kitchen, immediately facing anger from her father for still being up and coming into the kitchen.
“John is on the phone for you, Daddy,” Nicki announced. “It’s John.”
“John who?” Charles asked. “I don’t know no John that would be callin’ me this damn late at night. And what I tell you about keepin’ the house phone in your room and shit late at night. What I tell you about that?”
Listening to Charles do his fatherly duties, as if his day had been completely normal, broke John’s heart. From the sounds of the background noise, the man had been having a good night. There was laughter, music playing, and people talking as if the sun would always shine down on them. Charles came onto the line after telling his daughter to go to bed. “Hello?” he said.
“Mister Charles?” John said, his voice flat. “It’s John, Judge’s friend. How you doin’?”
“I’m all right,” Charles said, a little skeptical. “You? What’s goin’ on, John? Where is Judge? I thought you and him was supposed to be hangin’ out tonight or somethin’? What’s goin’ on?”
John sighed. “Mister Charles, you gotta come down to the hospital,” he said. “You gotta come down to the hospital.”
“Tell me what happened,” Charles said. “What happened to my boy, John? Did something happen? Let me talk to Judge? Can he talk?”
John cried and scuffed, but tried to not let it show through the phone. Having to make this call was absolutely horrible. And he blamed himself for any of it having even taken place. “Mister Charles,” he said, “just come down to the hospital.”
Charles tried several more times to get John to tell him what was going on. John just couldn’t bring himself to tell the man that his son had passed, let alone how it happened. That would be a question that he’d undoubtedly have to answer when the man pulled up at the hospital. When John hung up after hearing that Charles was already on his way, he leaned his head back and sighed deeply. This would be the perfect moment to chill at home and smoke.
John watched as Camron’s cousins pulled into the parking lot. They all huddled together in the parking lot as John spilled the news. While they all didn’t necessarily know Judge all that well, per se, they’d always heard the positive things Camron would say about his friends, including Judge. A couple of them already started to discuss how they’d tell Camron what happened.
“Yeah, man,” John said, turning away. “This shit is real fucked up. I just called his daddy and told him that he need to come down to the hospital. I just couldn’t tell him that kinda shit over the phone.”
They all talked about the night for several minutes before Charles came whipping into the parking lot in his Cadillac. He cautiously drove around the parking lot until he saw John, standing outside of his own car, up by the parking garage. Charles quickly pulled up and got out of the car. He looked into John’s red, moist eyes.
“What happened to my son?” Charles asked, walking up to John. He looked around frantically. “John, what happened to Judge? Where he at?”
“Mister Charles,” John said, hesitantly. “I’m so sorry. We were at Blue Lights and this dude started shootin’ and…” His voice trailed off. He hated that he had to lie, but he knew the truth would soon come out. “I’m sorry.”
Charles, with a shocked face, felt his heartbeat sped up. Even though John didn’t come out and say anything directly, he wanted to believe that what he was hearing was all a lie. Had he misunderstood? Was Judge inside, hooked up to a bunch of machines, and on lif
e support? “John, what are you talking about?” the father asked in disbelief. “What are you talkin’ about, nigga?”
John stepped closer to Charles. “I’m sorry Mister Charles,” he said. “I swear, I tried to get him up here as quick as I could, but I guess he bled too much and…”
Charles looked as if he’d seen a ghost. He stared as he grabbed John’s shoulders. John simply stood there, letting the man express his sorrow. A few seconds passed then Charles looked up at the entrance for the Emergency Room. He darted away, rushing up and into the hospital. John, with his hands on his thighs, leaned over and looked away. “I can’t believe I let this shit happen,” he said to himself, hating that the man was inside hearing the worst news of any parent’s life.
The rest of the night was a night full of sorrow for John. More and more of Judge’s family came rushing into the parking lot. Eventually, they all huddled around in front of the Emergency Room exit and cried, sobbing loudly at times. John couldn’t bear to look. He cringed even more when he thought about how he’d have to explain what really happened.
***
Judge’s funeral had possibly been the saddest funeral John had ever attended. Up to this point in his life, he’d mostly been to funerals for older people, with a few exceptions. However, those few exceptions, which were his cousins who had been all about that life were somewhat to be expected because of their lifestyles, as morbid as it was to say such a thing. This was completely different. Dressed in a blue suit, because blue was Judge’s favorite color, Judge sat in the pew as the eulogy was given by the pastor from Judge’s childhood church.
Sobbing rose into the air as if it were trying to escape through the roof. Women dressed in big hats and sad dresses hugged one another. Everywhere John turned, someone was talking about how great of a person Judge was. There were probably at least ten times John found himself sharing stories about growing up with Judge. At times, they could smile at least about some of the funny things he said. Seeing his children and their mothers at the front, crying over the coffin, was truly a picture that would be worth several thousand words. John had never seen so much heartbreak concentrated in one room.
Camron had been well enough within a week to come to the funeral, but he still moved slow. His mother, who had experience as a nurse, he’d managed to make it to the funeral. She sat at the back, being supportive while Camron sat next to John. Camron leaned over and said, “Who that comin’ in the door back there?”
John looked back toward the door of the church as a woman with long brown hair walked through the door. Dressed in a black dress, the woman walked as if she were uncomfortable. It was almost as if she were out of place and knew it. In a nervous manner, she looked around and into the faces sitting in front of the pastor. The woman slipped into a seat at the back, wiping her eyes. With a very eager face, she leaned forward and planted her hands into the back of the pew in front of her. She looked as if she were seriously contemplating running up to the casket.
“I know who that is,” John said, recognizing a face he used to know behind the wear and tear this woman had obviously gone through. “That’s Judge’s mother.”
Camron managed to raise his eyebrows, as he was genuinely surprised to see Judge’s mother. “I ain’t seen her in years,” he commented.
“I know,” John said. “I ain’t either.”
John and Camron sat and waited for the eulogy to be over. Shortly after everyone got up to have one last look before riding up to the cemetery. They stood behind the family as they all reached out and touched the casket. The pallbearers were loading the casket into the back of the hearse. John simply couldn’t believe that his boy was inside of this box. “Man, I can’t believe this,” he said to Camron, thinking of how “refrigerated” Judge’s body had looked when he’d gone up to the casket. “This just ain’t right.”
Camron had been watching the family the very moment Charles turned away from the hearse and saw his ex-wife—Judge’s mother Karen—look at the closed door. Again, he looked as if he’d seen a ghost. A moment that Camron and John had been expecting to be sentimental quickly turned out to be something else. John always had a feeling that the situation with his mother was sensitive, but he had no idea of just how much.
“Karen?” Charles asked. As he looked his ex-wife up and down, his three sisters and brother came to his side. The four of them looked at Judge’s mother with contempt. They looked like they’d probably jump on her if they were younger. “Surprised to see you actually make it.”
“Don’t start, Charles,” Karen said. There was something about her speech that everyone found odd. “He’s my son, too. What we really need to be talkin’ about is how you ain’t even call me and tell me that my son was shot and killed?”
“Call you?” Charles asked. “What the fuck you mean it’s funny that I ain’t call you and shit? Karen, I swear you are a piece of work. How the fuck am I supposed to call you about anything to do with Judge if you too busy somewhere gettin’ high or doin’ God knows what. You can’t even keep no phone on, Karen. And you ain’t care nothin’ about this boy, ever since he was young.”
“Charles, shut up!” Karen shouted, her frail arms trembling at her sides. “You not gon’ just talk to me like that! I don’t care what you say, nigga! This was my son, too! And I loved my little boy.” She sobbed, covering her mouth as the funeral home staff instructed everyone on the route they’d be taking up to the cemetery. “My little boy.”
“Charles, I swear,” one of Charles’ sisters said, turning away and rolling her eyes. “Let me tell you somethin’. I always warned you about this woman, but you wouldn’t never listen. I helped raise that boy, Karen, after you went runnin’ off to be a party girl like you ain’t have no kids to take care of. Now she wanna show up to the boy’s funeral like she really gave a damn about him. You was right, Charles. So right. This woman really is a piece of work. Run out on the boy when he in middle school and don’t come back for years and now wanna show up and cry more than anyone. God gon’ get you with guilt. Best believe that.”
John couldn’t believe what was happening. Usually, Judge’s father Charles was a rather reserved man. That is to say, aside from laughing out loud and having one sarcastic mouth, the man was rather mild-mannered at all times. However, in an instant all of that changed. Not only was this his son’s funeral, with so many broken hearts standing around him, but the sight of his ex-wife showing up after some years of being M.I.A. clearly hit a chord. The man looked as if he’d seen a face he hadn’t wanted to see for a long time.
“Calm down,” Charles said to his sister. “Just calm down, Tiny.”
“Naw, Charles,” Tiny insisted, flinging her arms about. “I remember when you was datin’ this bitch and I know I fuckin’ told you that you needed to be careful with her. But naw. Don’t nobody listen to me. Now she wanna show up years later and act like she the damn victim. What kind of woman runs off and leaves her children? Huh? I feel sorry for her on a motherly level, because I would hate the feeling of losing my child, but on a personal level, she just go on and crawl back in whatever gutter she crawled out of. Go on and let her be. Yup.”
“Tiny, stop!” Charles said, more forcefully. “All this isn’t necessary.”
Charles sent Tiny over to her car so they could get ready to head to the cemetery. He turned and looked at his ex-wife, looking into eyes he hadn’t seen in years. Josh and Camron watched. Seeing such a thing finally connected so many dots. When Judge talked about his mother, which was rare, the details were rather vague. On top of all that, the tone in his voice would always let anyone listening know that he was rather indifferent to the topic.
John nudged Camron, letting him know that the two of them should probably walk away and stop looking at Charles’ interaction with his ex-wife. Just as they’d turned away to head out into the parking lot and to John’s car, John heard Charles answer a heartbreaking question—an answer which didn’t have all of the details. Karen, like any mother, asked
what had happened to her son.
“How did this happen?” she asked, trying to not collapse with her tears. “Huh, Charles? What happened? You were supposed to take care of him and make sure that he was safe. What happened, Charles?” Tears now streamed down her face. “I had to hear about this from somebody then come up with the money to come here. How did this happen?”
Charles looked over at John and Camron as he hugged his estranged ex-wife. She cried and sobbed into his chest as he explained what he knew. However, Charles wasn’t a fool. When he was young, and in need of money to take care of Judge as a baby, the man had joined the army. While being in the military hadn’t exactly been the kind of experience he was thinking it would turn out to be, it was certainly a way for him to get off of the streets and actually make some money. He did travel quite a bit, as well as see slums and ways of life in poorer parts of the world. For this reason, he could really read people. There was something about the look in John’s eyes that told Charles the two of them needed to talk as soon as possible.
“John,” Charles said, looking over Karen’s head. “After the burial at the cemetery, you think we can talk for a minute?”
“Of course,” John said, nodding. It was hard for him to look into Charles’ eyes, but he managed to do it. He walked with Camron back over to his car, allowing the two to talk with Tiny off running her mouth to other family members. The two friends waited in John’s car until the procession started.
“Man, that shit was rough,” Camron said, shaking his head. “Is this shit really happening? I mean, when I was sittin’ in that church, lookin’ up at Judge’s body in the casket, I was just like naw. Naw. Not Judge. This is fuckin’ crazy. Sometimes I think it be that shit they give me while I’m goin’ through treatment for my nerves and shit, but it ain’t. This is fuckin’ real. Is Judge really gone like that?”
The Bed You Make: An Urban Hood Drama Page 16
