by Ari McKay
Drew inclined his head to acknowledge the point. “Probably not, but you can’t beat yourself up over speculation. You saw a threat and eliminated it. That’s what you were there to do.”
“I did what I did. Right from my perspective, wrong from that of that boy and his father. We could argue semantics all day, but what it comes down to is that now this man wants to kill me and the people I love. So he has to be stopped by any means necessary.” Joe drew in a deep breath. “I will do this because it has to be done, but after that, I never want to set foot in this country again. Being here makes me feel like my own demons are too close to the surface.”
No doubt Joe was concerned about his killer instincts turning him into what he hated most about the traffickers, but Drew thought perhaps bad memories had something to do with it, too.
“I get it,” he said quietly. “I never want to go back to Iraq.”
“Something like that, yeah.” Joe shuddered. “I just want to get this done. All I care about is keeping Finn safe, no matter what I have to do to make sure he is.”
“And I’ll do whatever it takes to help you,” Drew said, although at this point, he meant far more than just protecting Finn, even if Joe didn’t realize it yet.
“Thanks.” Joe picked up his fork again, grimacing in distaste at his plate, as though his appetite was gone. Even so, he shoveled up a forkful of eggs. “And if we’re going to do that, we’d better eat. Guys like us need to make sure to eat. Going up against killers while your blood sugar is fucked up isn’t good.”
Nodding, Drew picked up a piece of bacon and began to eat, his resolve to help Joe, and see him safely through this, growing even stronger. He’d be damned if he returned to Finn without Joe. Finn needed Joe, and Joe…. Well, Drew was becoming more and more convinced that Joe needed him.
22
“Shit. This is a dead end.”
Joe glanced away from the house they’d been surveilling, not bothering to hide his frustration. They’d spent the majority of the last two days watching the retired businessman whom Joe had thought was their leading suspect, but it was becoming increasingly obvious that he couldn’t be the Ismail Abassi who was leading a human trafficking ring. The guy was in his sixties, and while that didn’t preclude him being their suspect, his behavior certainly did. He spent a lot of time at a coffee house playing Ludo with a group of men close to his own age. Joe had gone into the coffee house and listened to their conversations, all of which seemed to revolve around the typical subjects—their children and grandchildren, politics, and soccer. Pixel’s check of the man’s phone records had been equally fruitless, so unless he used a series of burner phones constantly, he wasn’t in contact with anyone in the network Joe had taken on. They’d watched his house, just in case it was all an elaborate cover, but after seeing the man come and go, watching all his visitors and deliveries, Joe was ready to admit he simply wasn’t their guy.
“Agreed,” Drew said. “Want to move on to the next one on the list?”
“Yeah. That would be the businessman.” Joe took out his phone, checking the time before pulling up the address and giving it to their driver. He frowned. “Do you think we’re going about this the right way? I don’t really want to do it, but I could get back inside with the traffickers. It might make it easier.”
“No fucking way.” Drew shook his head vehemently. “This may be a slower process, but we’re getting the job done.”
Joe nodded, chewing on his lower lip for a moment as he considered the options. He really didn’t want to go back undercover, not after the shit he’d witnessed, but there was the possibility that none of their leads would pan out. Still, this was just the first one, and he told himself that Finn and the rest of Hercules Security were on alert for anything Abassi might try. Joe felt that he and Drew were almost safer being in country, since Joe doubted Abassi would expect someone to bring the fight to his doorstep so quickly. He didn’t want to be complacent, but he thought that they had a good chance of catching Abassi unaware, so long as they could find him quickly enough.
The thing that surprised him most was that he and Drew made a good team. Their skills meshed well, and following their first morning in Islamabad, things between them had been far less strained. It seemed that as Joe relaxed and became more accepting, Drew did as well. They weren’t anything like friends, but Joe had decided that treating Drew as he would any other coworker he didn’t know very well was probably the best thing for both them and the mission.
They arrived at the businessman’s office address. “We should probably case the building. I’ll have Pixel schedule an appointment with the guy as soon as he can get one. Are you good with your corporate tech manager cover?”
“I’m good,” Drew said, his tone matter-of-fact rather than cocky. One good thing Joe could say about Drew—if he had to—was that he was honest about his abilities and limitations. Whether due to age and wisdom, or an innate characteristic, he didn’t seem to need to prove himself.
“Okay. Shall we take a look around this building? I’d say split up, but since you don’t speak the language, if you ran into problems, you might not be able to get out of them.”
“Yeah, I’d feel better with my interpreter close by,” Drew said dryly.
Joe snorted. For some reason Drew seemed to think Joe was bossy or dominant, when Joe had never really seen himself that way. “Come on, this shouldn’t take long. I just want to be prepared for tomorrow. What’s rule number one?”
“Always know your escape route.” Drew gave him a thumbs-up. “We got this.”
Joe told the driver to wait as they got out of the car, making their way to the office building. Drew could read a certain amount of Urdu even if he didn’t speak it, so Joe didn’t have to translate the directory for him. The office they wanted was on the tenth floor of the twenty story building. Joe suggested they take the elevator to the top floor and then go down via the stairs, checking each floor for anything unusual.
They made short work of the reconnaissance, which didn’t reveal anything of concern. Joe was almost disappointed because an anomaly would at least given him some hope they were on the right track. The lack of one didn’t mean they weren’t, but Joe found himself eager to get through this mission so he could get back home. To Finn.
They finished up just about the time most of the offices were closing for the day, so it took them a few minutes to get through the press of people and back to the car. Once they were in the rear seat, Joe turned to Drew. “Back to the hotel, I guess. Unless there’s anything else you think we need to do.”
Drew gazed at him speculatively for a moment. “Any chance I could talk you into some sightseeing? I’ve never been to this area before, and I probably won’t be returning, so I wouldn’t mind looking around a bit. Maybe we could find a good local restaurant for dinner while we’re out, too.”
Joe was surprised at the suggestion, but another evening in the hotel didn’t appeal much, either. Nor had he had much of an opportunity to take in the culture of Islamabad on his previous mission, and it would probably do him some good to have some positive associations with Pakistan, rather than all the horrible ones he’d accumulated. “Sure. What kind of things would you like to see?”
Drew pulled out his phone and opened an app. “Let’s see what landmarks they’ve got around here…. Oh, hey, we aren’t that far from the Pakistan Monument. We could check that out. The Bari Imam Shrine looks interesting, too.”
“Sure.” Joe gave the driver directions, and they set off through the increasing traffic. After about twenty minutes they arrived at their destination. The Monument was interesting, shaped like a blooming flower with four open petals around a star-shaped central courtyard. There was a museum of history attached to the monument, and as they wandered among the exhibits, which detailed ancient civilizations in the country as well as Pakistan’s battle for independence, Joe found himself relaxing for the first time in weeks.
“This was a good idea,” he told
Drew, after they’d spent almost two hours looking at everything. “Thanks for suggesting it.”
Drew offered an easy smile. “I thought a little down time might do us both some good.” The smile turned into a mischievous grin as he pulled out his phone and waved it. “Let’s take a selfie and send it to Finn. We can do the whole wish you were here thing.”
Two days before, Joe would have automatically protested, not wanting to do anything that seemed to show any sort of connection between he and Drew. But, as he thought about it, he knew that a picture of the two of them would probably please Finn a lot, and it didn’t cost Joe anything. “Okay,” he said with a shrug. “Where do you want to do it?”
“Somewhere with a good view of the city in the background.” Drew glanced around, and then he grasped Joe’s arm and led him over to a particular spot. “Right here,” he said, guiding Joe where he wanted him. He slid one arm around Joe’s shoulders and leaned in as he held up the phone at an angle that captured them both, plus the scenic background. “Ready?”
“Sure,” Joe replied. He smiled slightly at the phone, hoping this would make Finn happy and reassure him that everything was okay.
Drew took a couple of pictures. “This one is good,” he said, holding out the phone so Joe could see the one he’d selected.
The photo showed the two of them looking like typical tourists, but the view behind them was beautiful. Drew’s smile was wider and seemed more genuine than Joe’s. In fact, he didn’t look at all awkward or stiff about being so close to Joe.
“Fine with me,” Joe replied. He didn’t like having his picture taken, and he hoped that Finn wouldn’t see his awkwardness. “Finn should like it.”
“He’ll love it.” Drew remained standing close to Joe while he sent the text. “It’s morning there, so he’ll probably see it pretty quick if they’re letting him have his phone.”
“I’m sure he’s got it.” Joe calculated quickly. “It’s ten o’clock there. He should be awake.”
Sure enough, Drew’s phone pinged no more than a minute later, and Drew chuckled as he read Finn’s response. “He says we’re hot together, and it’s not fair we can set off his heart monitor from thousands of miles away.”
Joe shook his head. Finn had to be teasing, since Joe highly doubted Finn had any interest in Joe and Drew actually hooking up, despite what Drew had claimed. “That’s Finn. Never serious.”
“At least he’s in good spirits,” Drew said, tucking his phone away again. “He must be doing well postsurgery.”
“That’s what he told me yesterday.” Joe had been quite anxious about Finn’s leg, but the break had been completely repaired, and while Finn was in for a long bout of physical therapy, the prognosis was for him to make a full recovery. “Thank God he’s not expected to be left with a limp. It doesn’t make me feel less guilty about what happened, but at least he won’t have to live with a reminder for the rest of his life.”
“He really doesn’t blame you,” Drew said, keeping his voice low and gentle. “You shouldn’t blame yourself.”
Something inside Joe twisted painfully. “Easier said than done. I may have saved that little girl, but it almost cost me Finn.”
“But it didn’t. We got him out, and he’s going to be fine. All’s well that ends well, right?”
He got the feeling Drew was trying to be comforting, but Joe only shook his head. “I can’t look at it that way. At least not yet. Maybe someday, if I’m lucky.”
“Finn and I will help if we can.” Drew clapped Joe’s shoulder and offered a reassuring smile. “Meanwhile, how about dinner? I’ll treat, since I’m supposed to be the high-rolling executive.”
“Sure.” Joe was happy enough to leave the subject of guilt behind. He had stared down that particular dark hole far too much in the last few days, and he needed to keep focus. “How about something Kashmiri? They go in for a lot of meat.”
Drew’s face lit up with interest, and he nodded. “You’re talking my language. Do you know a good place?”
“I do.” Joe nodded and then beckoned Drew to follow him. They’d have a good meal, and hopefully Joe would be able to actually sleep. Today’s investigation had been a disappointment, but he was hopeful for tomorrow. Ismail Abassi’s days were numbered. Joe was going to make sure of it.
23
A case of the late evening munchies had driven Drew out of his bedroom and into the kitchenette, and now he stood in front of the fridge with the door open, debating whether he wanted to make a sandwich or heat up the takeout he’d brought home from the restaurant. Dinner had been so good that he’d ordered another entrée to go and had encouraged Joe to do the same so they’d have a meal ready and waiting, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the curry.
The sound of laughter distracted him from his indecision, and he glanced toward Joe’s room. The door stood open, and he could hear other voices, although they weren’t loud enough for him to make out what they were saying.
Joe laughed again—a full, rich sound unlike anything Drew had heard from him before. Hell, Drew didn’t even know Joe could laugh. But something had lifted the weight of guilt and depression from Joe’s shoulders, even if it was only temporary, and Drew had to know what it was.
He closed the fridge door and headed over to Joe’s room, and he paused outside to knock on the doorframe.
“What’s up?” he asked, peering inside.
Joe glanced up from his laptop, and to Drew’s amazement, he actually seemed to squirm, like a small boy caught doing something naughty. “Oh… um, I was just watching a couple of guys make a vlog.”
“What vlog?” Drew asked. “I could use something new, especially if it’s funny.”
“I doubt it’s something you’d be interested in, really,” Joe replied, a flush rising on his cheeks as he closed the laptop.
Joe’s embarrassment only spurred Drew’s curiosity, and he went to sit down on the edge of the bed where Joe was reclining against the pillows, his long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankle.
“We won’t know unless you tell me what it is,” Drew said, giving Joe’s hard bicep a playful poke. “Come on, I promise I won’t laugh.”
For a moment Joe’s lips hardened into what promised to develop into a stubborn line, but then he sighed. “If you laugh, I’ll beat the shit out of you.”
Drew held up one hand as if he was being sworn in and drew a large X over his heart with the other. “I will not laugh. Do you want me to pinky swear, too?”
That made Joe snort and roll his eyes. “No, you don’t have to go that far.” He hesitated for a moment before finally seeming to make up his mind. “Look, I read a lot, okay? It can get pretty boring on missions sometimes, and when Finn goes out without… well. When I’m alone. I read all kinds of things. Survival magazines. Thrillers. Science fiction, fantasy, mysteries. And romances.” He dropped his gaze to the closed top of the computer, not meeting Drew’s eyes.
Drew blinked, taken aback by that new tidbit of information. Joe was one of the last people he’d ever peg as a romance reader. “Gay romance?”
“Yeah. Sometimes it’s… nice, you know? To be able to identify with the characters and their situations.” Joe lifted his chin. “I’m not ashamed of it, I just hate having people tease me for enjoying romances sometimes. It pisses me off.”
But Drew had no intention of teasing Joe. With a delighted smile, he climbed fully on the bed and sat cross-legged, facing Joe. “Who’s your favorite author? I finished binging R.K. Epson’s contemporary Western series last month, and it was really good. Lots of rolling in the hay and cowboys in tight jeans.”
Joe finally looked at him again, his mouth dropping open. He seemed incapable of speech for at least thirty seconds, and there was no mistaking his expression of stunned surprise. “Wait… are you telling me you read gay romance, too? Really?”
“Yep, really,” Drew said, both pleased and amused he’d finally managed to surprise Joe in a good way. “Like you said, it’s n
ice being able to relate.”
“Huh.” Joe seemed off-balance, and he shook his head. “I never would have thought you’d be the type to enjoy romances, but I guess people would think the same thing about me. Big scary mercs aren’t supposed to be mushy inside.”
“We’re big, scary mercs, but that’s not all we are.” Drew debated whether to say what he was thinking, but then he decided he might as well. He’d already made himself vulnerable to Joe once in talking about what happened in Iraq. “It’s nice to read about happy endings,” he said at last. “About the kind of life I’ll probably never have. You know, coming home to a husband and a dog, living out the white-picket-fence scenario.”
Joe gave him a sudden, sharp glance, eyes narrowed. He seemed about to say something, but instead he dropped his gaze again, letting out what appeared to be a deliberate breath. “I enjoy romantic suspense and urban fantasies the most,” he admitted. “I read a lot of Angie Leonard and Sandra Crane. Oh, and Jim Walker. He’s one of the guys on the vlog, actually. He and his husband Bill.”
“What’s the vlog?” Drew asked, hoping to keep Joe distracted. “I don’t think I’ve heard it.”
“The Fabulous Gay Romance Review.” Joe opened his laptop again, turning it so that Drew could see the screen. “They cover a big variety of things, not just romance books, but movies, audiobooks, and even plays. They interview authors and have guest reviewers, too. But what I really enjoy is watching their recordings of them making a show. The flubs and asides and commentary are great. They’re really funny guys, and Bill has a variety of facial expressions that crack me up. Especially the way he uses his eyebrows.”
“Strong eyebrow game, huh?” Drew chuckled. “Mind if I watch it with you?”
“You really want to?” Joe seemed hesitant, as if not entirely sure Drew wasn’t having him on.
Instead of replying, Drew shifted so he could lean against the headboard and stretched out beside Joe. Even though he didn’t nestle close—Joe probably would’ve kicked him out if he’d tried—he could still feel the warmth radiating from Joe’s body, and he became acutely aware that he was in bed with a hot, buff, sexy, growly man. Too bad Joe wasn’t the slightest bit interested in him, he thought ruefully. He wouldn’t have minded acting out some of the sex scenes in their favorite books.
