“You’re staring,” Axel reprimanded me with a quiet chuckle.
“Fine,” I grumbled, looking away from my source of curiosity and locking eyes with my husband. His beautiful eyes gleamed back at me. “I like staring at you better,” I smiled.
“You better,” he growled good-naturedly, grasping my thigh underneath the table.
“So how long are you in town for, Jill?” Connie asked when there was a general lull in the boisterous conversation.
Jill looked like a deer in headlights for a moment as the silence weighed heavily on the table.
Connie’s big blue eyes darted around nervously. “Sorry, was I not supposed to ask that?” she asked in the genuine and straightforward way that was pure Connie.
“No, it’s fine,” Jill rushed to assure her. “I’m just not sure.”
“I heard there’s an opening at the hospital,” Scarlet put in. Scar had been in nursing school since I’d known her, but with a toddler and baby on the way, her progress had stalled some.
“Oh?” Jill asked. “Well, I have a lot to sort out.” She shifted nervously in her seat and I waded in to her rescue.
“Jill’s a hot commodity.” I winked. “Where’s Ry?” I asked, deliberately changing the subject.
I saw Jill literally deflate with relief when the focus wasn’t on her anymore.
“Wrapped up in something,” Wes snickered.
“Man whore,” Ettie shook her head with a giggle.
“On Thanksgiving? Really?” I demanded. As much as Ry could be annoying at times, I missed him. I was mildly affronted that he’d picked a random bimbo over his family.
“Pumpkin pie’s good but not nearly as good as pussy,” Wes chortled as Connie smacked him; I turned to smother a laugh in Axel’s shoulder.
It was after pie and to the point where I was stuffed to the gills when I finally had Jill alone for a minute. Rather than try to wrap her up in a conversation when we only had a spare moment, I tried to coax her up to our place for the night.
“I don’t know, Soph,” she fretted. “I don’t want to put you out and I don’t have any of Mason’s overnight stuff.”
“Okay, how about tomorrow then? Or I could come to you?” I offered. I missed my friend and wanted to spend time together like we used to. We had a lot of catching up to do.
Axel came to stand alongside me, and Maddox immediately reached out of my arms for his daddy. “What’s up?” Axel asked, picking our boy up and delivering a quick nuzzle into his neck.
“Jill and I were trying to sort out a sleepover,” I informed him. “I was thinking I could stay with her tomorrow night.”.
Axel turned to Jill. “I’ll pick you up, bring you to our place.”
“Babe,” I sighed, exasperated.
“Got no problem with girls’ night,” he shook his head. “But I want you under our roof.”
“That’s fine,” Jill assured him, shooting me a look to relax.
“Fine,” I grumbled. “How are you getting home?”
“Uh, Cal has Mason’s car seat in his truck. I guess he’s taking me home,” she replied nervously.
“Okay, well, you’re in good hands then,” I answered her softly, reaching out to squeeze her hand.
“Yeah,” she bit her lip, not meeting my eye.
Weird. I didn’t know this side of Jill. The woman I knew was bold and unafraid to speak her mind.
“Let’s go,” Axel said a short while later. His demeanor had been surly after dinner and I couldn’t understand why. We’d had a great night.
“Sure,” I agreed, eyeing him warily.
We said our goodbyes and headed out into the chilly evening. “Will we get snow soon you think, up at the house?” I wondered aloud as he fired up the engine and pointed us toward home.
“Possibly,” he shrugged.
“I hope it snows for Christmas.” I grinned at the thought of a warm fire and cozy day. Just for us. “Can we get our tree soon?”
“Sure,” he shrugged pensively.
I was getting a lot of shrugs and not many words out of him. Never a good sign.
“What’s going on?” I demanded.
“Nothin’,” he muttered.
“Okay,” I replied, not in any hurry to have him spoil my upbeat mood.
We drove the majority of the ride home in silence with Maddox slumbering peacefully in his car seat.
It was a good deal colder up at our place and I rushed inside with Maddox wrapped in my arms.
The alarm beeped at me but I let Axel deal with it as I carried Mad to bed. He went down without a peep, tired from all the excitement of the evening.
I knew well enough by now to avoid Axel and whatever he was working through. Instead, I got ready for bed and slid under the warm covers, curling up with a baking book. I couldn’t explain exactly why I was so hell bent on being able to cook. Maybe it was that my mother had never done it, that Axel’s hadn’t either. I certainly didn’t feel like Axel expected it. It was more an expectation of myself; a huge hurdle of independence after a life beholden to others.
I’d studied the merits of coffee cake thoroughly by the time I turned out the light. Axel was pacing around the house, banging around as he seemed to do when he was in a dark mood.
As always, I had trouble sleeping until I felt Axel slide into bed.
“Babe, what is it?” I asked, my voice hoarse with elusive sleep.
“Nothin’,” he growled.
I slid up on an elbow peering over at him through the dim light. “Are you mad about something?”
His reply was cutting. “You seriously askin’?”
Then it dawned on me. “You’re mad at me?” I replied in shock. “What the heck did I do?”
“Do you have any idea what the state of play is right now, Sophie? Any idea how much fucking danger there is? And you’re offering to flit off with Jill like it’s nothing! Wanting to spend the night in a not so great part of town without me!” he snarled.
It seemed I unleashed the beast with a simple question.
“It was just an idea, babe, Jesus,” I snorted, exasperated with his attitude. I bit back the urge to give him a hard time for using the word “flit.” Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like a good time to tease him. Such a good morsel lost, damn.
“Do not blow me off about this,” he growled.
“You didn’t even want to talk about it until I forced it out of you!” I threw up my hands in frustration, sitting up in bed, sleep forgotten. “I understand it’s dangerous out there. It’s been dangerous for me since you met me,” I exclaimed. “That doesn’t mean I can’t want simple things like a sleepover with my best friend without making her go out of her way,” I tried to explain. “I know you wouldn’t let me do something risky, nor would I go against something you were concerned about. As long as it’s reasonable,” I hastened to add. “All you have to do is explain why and we’re good. You don’t have to pace around the house all night like a goddamned lion,” I said dryly.
“A lion?” he queried with a lifted brow.
I shrugged, my arms crossed.
He sighed, sitting with his back against the headboard, his chiseled abs on infuriatingly gorgeous display. “I admit I can be a possessive bastard,” he nodded, running a hand over his beard. “But until your father is behind bars, until we know what’s at play with the Riders, I need you close. Hell, I’ll always want you close but especially now, Soph.”
“That’s all you have to say,” I agreed, placing a hand on his stomach. “You don’t have to go all grouch puss on a holiday because of it,” I grumbled.
“Grouch puss? Babe, seriously,” he griped at my choice of words.
“This was my first Thanksgiving with people I actually wanted to spend it with,” I defended. “You going all alpha-male jackass allows for me to call you whatever I want,” I told him haughtily.
He pulled me into his chest, kissing the top of my head. “I want to give you everything you want, holidays included. But you
r safety comes first. Please, babe,” he practically pleaded.
“Yeah, honey,” I agreed, kissing his chest.
“Wes had a point earlier,” he trailed off as he rolled on top of me suddenly, making me shriek with laughter.
“And what was that?” I asked, smiling up into his face.
“Pussy’s a hell of a lot better than any goddamned pumpkin pie,” he grinned down at me looking positively gorgeous.
“Yeah?” I giggled with a lifted brow, relieved our fight had been short-lived.
“Yeah, though I’d say you’d taste damn good with some whipped cream.”
Chapter 21
“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to spend more time with you,” I apologized the next night as Jill and I sat out on the back deck snuggled up in blankets. It was surprisingly cozy, especially with the heat lamp humming that I’d convinced Axel to get.
Both of us loved sitting outside, even in the cold, and frequently sat on the deck talking after Maddox had gone to bed.
“It’s okay. You’ve had a lot going on.” Jill reached over to squeeze my hand before taking a sip of her wine and gazing out into the forest beyond. Both boys were asleep and Axel made himself scarce, allowing us our time alone.
“So have you,” I put in, trying not to press too hard but more than ready for her to share what had been going on. “Have you heard from him?” I asked quietly.
She grimaced. “Yeah. He’s threatening legal action because I took Mason across state lines.”
“What!” I exclaimed.
She nodded. “Yeah. The irony, right? He’s barely seen Mason since he was born but now that we’re not under his roof, he’s fighting it tooth and nail. Even when he was in town, he never helped. He’s never even seemed attached to Mason,” she swallowed audibly and I could tell how much that hurt her.
“What happened?” I asked.
“It wasn’t one particular thing,” she sighed. “We’ve been strangers for a long time. I could deal with the time away and raising Mason alone. Frankly, it was easier when he wasn’t around. What I can’t deal with is the husband I got when he did come home.” She fought back a shudder.
“And what’s that?” I pressed. It was clear she didn’t like talking about this but I felt the need to understand so I could help in any way I could.
“Angry,” she sighed. “So angry.”
“At you?”
“At everything. I could deal with a lot. I’m even fairly sure he had something on the side.”
“Oh, honey.” I reached over, squeezing her hand.
“But he’d escalated lately, starting pushing me around. I won’t have my son raised in that environment,” she shook her head adamantly, moisture pooling in her eyes.
“He hit you?” I demanded, reading between the lines.
She paused, her fingers dancing nervously over the fringe of her blanket. “Yes.”
“I’m so sorry,” I breathed. “You never have to go back there,” I added, reassuring myself as much as her. I’d known there were challenges in their marriage and that she wasn’t happy. I had no idea it was that bad.
“Your wedding came at such a perfect time,” she smiled through tears. “I needed to get out of town. Then everyone was so welcoming, even giving me a place to stay!” she marveled. “I kind of love it here. I’m just not sure how I’ll support us if we stay,” she fretted.
I hadn’t wanted my or rather, our money to affect our lives, but this was an opportunity for it to change someone else’s. For the better. Someone I loved.
“Jill,” I began, turning my body toward hers, choosing my words carefully. I knew if I approached this the wrong way, she’d balk. Hell, she’d probably do that anyway but I wanted to help her so vehemently that my heart was racing with the force of it. “Hear me out,” I asked quietly as I organized my thoughts. “You know with all this stuff with my parents that I’m pretty damn heartbroken over it,” I admitted. “It’s a hard fact to grapple with that my father could sink as low as he has. The money from my trust fund, even though it’s from my grandfather, well, I’ve struggled with it. I’m almost afraid to touch it – like it will somehow instantly propel me back to my old life,” I laughed without humor at the absurdity of it all. Axel had asked me about it more than once. I knew I was irrational, but in some bizarre way, I felt like the money was tainted. Like if I touched it, the beautiful life we were building could disappear.
“But if I could do something great with it – something for you, well, it would help,” I told her honestly.
Her eyes opened wide and she moved to shake her head.
“Please, Jill,” I cut her off before she could speak. “You were there for me when no one else was. You taught me so much about being a mother when I was floundering and completely overwhelmed. You saved my life, Jill,” I told her passionately. “I can’t ever convey how pivotal you were in my life and Maddox’s. And I know you don’t want me to repay you, but let me return the favor in some small way. Let me do something with that money that’ll help free you, something it never did for me.”
“What about Axel? It’s his money now too,” she bit her lip and I tried not to grin that she was clearly considering it.
“I’ll talk to him,” I promised. “But he’ll be fine with it,” I assured her.
“What did you have in mind?” she asked quietly.
“You’ll need a divorce lawyer,” I began. “A good one. Let us help with that and childcare while you’re getting back on your feet. I saw how excited you were about that job at the hospital,” I pointed out. “You’ll need someone to watch Mason if you want to go for that job. What is the arrangement with Kat’s old place?”
“Cal won’t let me pay for it,” she grumbled. “I don’t even know him!” she protested.
“If he made up his mind, good luck convincing him otherwise,” I grinned. “It seems like he’s taken a shine to you, hmm?” I hedged.
“I don’t know, maybe,” she shrugged, seeming confounded. “He’s handsome – I mean, really freaking handsome. You’d have to be blind not to notice but I’m in a crazy head space right now. I can’t deal with even thinking about anything romantic,” she sighed. “If that’s what he even wants,” she hastened to add.
I looked at my beautiful friend and could only assume that was the case.
“For now, he’s just been supportive from a distance. The whole club has been so awesome.” She smiled fondly.
“Yeah, they really are,” I agreed. “So does this all mean that you’ll let us help you out?” I asked hopefully.
She sighed. “I feel beyond weird about it but my priority is getting sole custody of Mason. I can’t afford a lawyer and clearly I need one. So yes, thank you,” she agreed, seeming relieved.
I reached over and clasped her hand. “What are friends for?”
“Cal mentioned there being some sort of ceremony at the club tomorrow night,” she said and I knew she was deliberately changing the subject.
“Ry’s getting patched in,” I grinned. I knew it meant the world to him and to Axel.
Her brows knitted together and I knew many aspects of the club were still foreign to her. “So he’ll be officially part of the club?” she wondered.
“Yep,” I nodded. “I don’t know what the ceremony entails really,” I admitted. “The guys are kind of mum on those details. But we’re invited to the party afterwards. I probably won’t be able to stay long with Maddox but you should come.”
“Nah,” she shook her head. “I’m sure it’ll be rowdy, and with Mason, I wouldn’t be able to stay long anyway. Why don’t I watch Maddox for you so you can stay longer?” she offered.
I sighed, knowing already what Axel would say. “Thank you. Ordinarily, I’d take you up on that but I don’t think Axel will go for it.”
She nodded. “I get it.”
It was late by the time we decided to turn in. Our bedroom was dark when I crawled under the covers snuggling up to Axel’s warm body.
“Jesus, babe, you’re freezing,” his sleepy voice rasped as he wrapped his arms around me.
“We were sitting outside,” I explained, nuzzling into his chest and breathing in his scent.
He grunted as I stuck my freezing nose against his skin. “Have fun?”
I nodded. “It was good to catch up. We talked more about the situation with Tim. It’s bad, babe. I had no idea. I feel so guilty,” I shook my head.
“She obviously didn’t want to share, darlin’. You both had your reasons for keeping secrets.”
He was certainly right about that.
“True,” I sighed. “I really want to help her with her lawyer. She’s going to need a good one. I told her I’d talk to you about it first. It would mean a lot to me to do something to help her with that money.”
“I think that’s a good idea, babe. Got no problem with that. Her man sounds like a piece of shit. But I gotta ask, are you ever gonna wanna use it for yourself? For Mad?” he countered, his tone quiet but firm.
We hadn’t touched a dime of my trust and though Axel didn’t seem to care about the money, he cared about why I didn’t want to touch it.
“We don’t need it,” I shrugged, hoping he’d let me off easy.
“That’s not why you don’t want to touch it,” he countered, his hand grasping my hair for a moment before continuing his perusal through its strands.
“No,” I murmured, agreeing with him.
“Why then?” He pressed his lips against my temple.
“Because of what it did to me my whole life.” I shuddered.
“So let’s say we use that money to pay for your school if you decide to go back, you gonna become your mother?” his tone was teasing, but I knew he was asking a serious question.
“No,” I shook my head.
“You gonna change the way you love Mad? The way you love me?”
“No,” I repeated, realizing his simple reasoning was actually getting through to me.
“It’s just money, babe. The danger or value is what you do with it; what you let it do to you.”
I looked up at him in the dim light taking in his words.
He gave me a small smile before continuing, “So I’m all right with you helping Jill. I owe the woman more than I can say for helping you when you had no one. But I want you to get to a place where you’re not afraid of it – the money I mean. If that’s the case, then it’s controlling you just as much as it always did.”
Axel (Ride Series Book 3) Page 17
