by Jenny Plumb
“No!”
“This is Hell?” His dark eyes expressed genuine fright then.
“No! This is not Heaven and it isn’t Hell. This is simply 2016, and I think you must have fallen and hit your head. I am going to call an ambulance and take you to the Emergency Room to be seen by a doctor.”
“No. This cannot be. I am from 1873; why would I be here in your world?”
“I have to give you credit, buddy, you never give up. The gag is over, finished. I am extremely tired. I need a bath and my bed. I have to be on duty again at eight hundred hours. Please go home.”
“I have nowhere to go. I am in a strange situation. I know I am dead to my time and place, but why was I sent here? Do you need protection?” he asked, perfectly serious.
“I can take care of myself. I told you, I am a police officer. I carry a gun and I know how to use it.”
“Do you just shoot men who brawl? Or teens that are rowdy? What of gossiping women? Do you shoot them also?”
“I don’t shoot anyone! I use my brains to handle most situations. If I must arrest someone, I try to do it respectfully.”
“You should not be doing a man’s job. What is wrong with your husband that he permits you to be threatened and pushed about?”
“I have no husband.”
“Why is that? You are pretty enough to be married.”
“I haven’t met the right man,” she answered softly, flattered by his comment. “Please, now, I have had enough of your teasing. Tell the guys they got me good. Tell them also that they should tip you well because you have stayed in character the entire time. Good night now.” She walked over to open the door.
He didn’t budge. “I need answers. How is it you know of the Ames Gang? Are you related to them in some way?”
“Look— What is your name, mister?”
“Victor Bodey, ma’am. If you’ve lived in Guthrie your whole life, then you should know that. You must be telling me the truth about this being in the future.”
“You surely don’t expect me to buy into the lie that you are from 1873?”
“I do not lie. If you accuse me wrongly again, I’ll take you over my knee for a spanking.” Victor meant the words.
“You try manhandling me, and I’ll have you behind bars so fast you won’t know how it happened!”
“It is not manhandling to discipline a sassy redhead.”
“You get out of my house right now!”
“I would not know where to go. Things are very different here. Your lamps have long black whips attached to them.”
“Those are electrical cords,” she answered, then caught herself doing so. “You stop it now! I don’t want to play your game. I am exhausted and I need to sleep.”
“Explain how I came to be here. This is not heard of where I am from.” His dark eyes were compelling her to believe him, even though she knew he was acting.
“No more or I am going to arrest you and let you try to explain yourself to the judge.”
“You cannot arrest me; I am the sheriff!”
“You are not the sheriff; I know the sheriff, and believe me when I tell you that he would not be amused by this entire prank.”
“Are you calling me a liar?” he demanded, his dark eyes full of outrage.
“Yes, if it comes down to it, I am calling you a liar! You are no more the sheriff than I am! I know for a fact that someone is attempting to put one over on me, and it was damn funny at first, but now I am getting pissed off. I want you out of my house, now!”
To her surprise he moved with the swiftness of a rattlesnake and snagged her wrist in his left hand. His right found the buckle on her gun belt, and off it went. Then he sat down on the ottoman and pulled her over his left thigh and used his right leg to pin her calves so she couldn’t kick. Then his powerful right hand slapped against her left cheek and Jess cried out in shock and pain.
“Damn you! Let me go before I hurt you!”
“You should not dare a man, little girl, especially a man who is my size. I warned you not to call me a liar, and now you will pay the price.” He spanked her again and she hollered. “You can yell all you want; it won’t change a thing. You earned a tanned hide.” He spanked her in earnest then.
Jess couldn’t believe this was happening. It was certainly no joke! Not one of the other officers would dare do this to her, especially with her brothers Tim and Mike on the force. They wouldn’t stand for it! No, this guy seemed serious as could be, and it was certain he meant every stinging spank he dealt her poor backside. The spanking hurt like hell! “Stop, please! We need to talk. Please? I am confused as can be. I know— Ouch! Ouch! I know you are serious! Please stop! I didn’t mean to anger you!”
“You called me a liar – after I warned you what to expect.” He spanked her sit spots twice more.
“I’m sorry! I am so sorry!” Jess wasn’t stupid. She needed to apologize or he just might keep right on spanking her. She needed to bring the painful lesson to an end. “Please listen to me; I’ve never had anyone claim to be from another time before! It is hard to believe, but I believe you now! Please stop spanking me and talk to me.”
The sheriff released her and stood her on her feet and the first thing she did was reach back to try and rub the sting out of her cheeks. “You hurt me!” she whispered, tears leaking from her green eyes.
“You should never call a man who is larger than you a liar, Miss— I do not know your name,” he said, suddenly realizing he’d spanked a strange female. Her pa might just take a horsewhip to him!
“I am Jess Cosgrove,” she answered, holding out her hand to shake his. He looked at her strangely. “Women shake hands now? That is so different. Your name, Jess – that is a man’s name.” He gave her another look that said he didn’t approve.
“My name is actually Jessica, but my family all call me Jess. Almost all of us have nicknames.” She cocked her head to one side. “I need to hear your story, beginning to end. Something strange is happening here, and I am at a loss as to how to deal with it. Please talk to me, Sheriff.”
“Sit down,” he invited.
“I cannot sit down right now,” she told him, trying to hide the anger and humiliation she was feeling. “My bottom is bruised and burning.”
“That is why a spanking works. You will feel it for several days and you will remember the lesson, and you will watch your words. You should not be cursing, either.”
“I am frustrated, but that isn’t a good excuse for bad language. I apologize.”
“Would your ma permit that?”
“She doesn’t like it, but she picks her battles. Please tell me what happened to you from the beginning.” She listened as the sheriff told her his story, and she found herself believing him. The details he shared were not available in any of the books she’d studied. Either he was a terrific actor, or she was truly meeting a man from 1873. “Do you think God made a mistake?” she asked.
“God doesn’t make mistakes, unless you know something I don’t?”
“I was taught that God knows everything. He is the beginning and the end, and everything in between. He put you here for some reason.”
“That’s what I figure, and I figure I am here to protect you. Jesus probably doesn’t like little girls trying to do a man’s job.”
“Are you hungry, Sheriff Bodey?” she asked politely.
“I am, and please call me Victor, Jessica. I have spanked you and that makes us friends, I hope?”
“No one has ever spanked me before, although a couple of my brothers have threatened me with a spanking. Just a warning, don’t mention spanking me in front of them. They’ll stomp you. It’s okay if they pick on me, but no one else is allowed to touch me in that manner.”
The sheriff grinned at her. “If they’d done their job, I wouldn’t have had to spank you.”
His words convinced her that he was serious. “That isn’t done these days. You can’t just grab a woman and spank her, Victor. You will get shot or arreste
d. Another thing, women can do anything a man can do. You might not like it, but that is how it is done.”
“Do you still celebrate the birth of our Lord?” Victor asked.
“We do, but it has become very commercial. People go overboard buying gifts for each other, and most children are quite spoiled on Christmas. I have twenty-seven nieces and nephews to buy presents for, and they expect something really nice from Aunty Jess.”
“What about church?” Victor asked with a worried look.
“My entire family is Catholic; we try to go to Midnight Mass together if we can, but with three of us on the police force, usually one or two of us have to work. My sister Amy is a nurse; she often works Christmas Eve so she can take off Christmas Day. We all try to go to Mom and Dad’s house sometime during Christmas day. My sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law all want to spend time with their families too. It’s crazy.”
“How can everyone leave their animals and be gone so much?” Victor asked, confused.
“You are thinking of animals as in horses, cows, chickens, right?”
He nodded.
“Some of my family and friends have pets, but they find someone to come in and take care of them, or they bring them along. Victor, stay calm now. We don’t use horses. Transportation today is much easier. We drive cars. Or we fly in airplanes. We also have trains. There are buses and taxis too. We can drive to my mom’s from here in less than ten minutes. Would you like to take a ride?”
“No! It sounds dangerous.”
“It can be. There are a lot of idiot drivers out there.”
Victor jumped when her telephone started ringing. She took it out of her pocket, pushed a button and answered, “Hello.” She paused and listened. “I am home, Mama. Planning to take a bath and go to bed, but I need to make some dinner first.” She listened again, and shook her head before saying, “No, Mama, I haven’t finished shopping. I am tired when I get off my shift.” Jess listened some more, and then said firmly, “No, Mother! You do not say anything to either Tim or Mike. They are working longer hours right now too, and I don’t want anyone to think I am complaining. Please let me fight my own battles. I am capable of sticking up for myself when I feel it necessary. I don’t want special consideration just because I am a female. That is the whole point of equality. It means equal. It means I have to work long hours when asked. It is my own fault I don’t have my shopping done. Perhaps I will just stay up all night and go and get it all done.” She listened. “Mama, you have enough on your plate. You aren’t going to do my shopping for me. That just doesn’t cut it, especially when you have a job and work too.” She listened, and finally said, “I love you, Mommy. You have a good night.” She waited, smiled, and said, “I am always careful, darling. I love you.” She ended the call to find Victor staring at her in shock. “This is a cell phone. You talk to other people on it. You can call someone, or they can call you.”
Chapter 2
“That is impossible!” Victor whispered, looking around in fear.
“No, it happens all the time in this time period. We fly in airplanes, drive fast in cars. We have even walked on the moon. Oh, you will like this!” She picked up the remote control for the television, and soon the picture appeared on her large TV. Victor was shocked.
“How did that man and woman get inside that box?” He wanted to know.
“They aren’t in there, Victor. They are acting, and it is saved on film, and then it is sent all over the country for people to see and enjoy.”
“They are doing what is private in that box?”
The couple was nude and in bed, and making sounds that sounded like lovemaking. Now it was Jess’ turn to be embarrassed.
“I will get you something to eat.” She took out two bowls, two spoons, the milk, and her favorite cereal. “These are called Honey Crisp. Toasted puffs of wheat, all sweetened. They are really good.”
“This is your idea of cooking?”
“No, but I am too tired to defrost something and cook it. Let’s eat.” She poured milk over the cereal, and then she dug into her bowl with enthusiasm.
Victor took a first bite, hesitantly, but soon he was enjoying the cereal too.
“Want some more?” she offered. He nodded, and it didn’t take them long to polish off the entire box. “Not to worry; I have more in the cupboard. I don’t like to run out.”
When they were finished, she looked at him. “Can I trust you to behave yourself, Victor? I am dead on my feet. I need sleep in the worst way. I am too tired to drive you to my brother’s house tonight. Will you keep your butt on the sofa and let me sleep if I allow you stay here tonight?”
“Stay here? In the same house? It would not be proper. What would your neighbors think?”
“They couldn’t care less what I do. They leave me alone because I wear a badge and they are scared of me. I like it that way,” she said with a grin. “So, will you behave, or do I need to start calling brothers to find you a bed?”
“I do not rape women!” It was clear she had insulted the man again.
“Good. I will trust you. I’ll get you a pillow and a blanket. The bathroom is back here if you need to go during the night. I’ll leave on a night light.”
“How is it you speak so openly about personal matters? This would earn you a mouth soaping where I come from.”
“You were all prudes,” she informed him. “We pretty much say what we think.”
“It is not attractive. I prefer our way.”
“You would.” She nodded in agreement. “I’m not sure I could be happy back there.”
“You would not sit down – ever!”
“I’d just shoot you.” She wasn’t going to let him have the last word. She found blankets and a pillow and tossed them on the sofa. “Good night, Sheriff. I have to get up pretty darn early, so feel free to sleep in if you want.”
“Wait. I would like to talk. I need to figure this out! Who would I talk to in order to learn what my assignment is?”
She looked at him and a sudden wave of guilt washed over her. “I am sorry, Victor. I am not being very friendly, am I? In your boots, I would be crying and very afraid. Here it is, almost Christmas, and I am behaving like an inconsiderate boob-head. Please forgive me my poor manners. Believe me, my mama would not be very proud of me right now.” She headed for the cabinet where she kept her booze. That cabinet didn’t get opened very darn often, but she had a feeling that Victor could use a drink or two right now. Unless he didn’t drink? “Do you drink whiskey?” she asked.
“Not often, but I could sure use a shot or two about now,” he admitted, admiring the way her bottom looked as she bent over to take out a couple of glasses and a bottle of Jim Beam. “You have bourbon from the Beam family?”
“They were interrupted by Prohibition, but you don’t know about that, so don’t worry over it. I wasn’t born when that nonsense was going on. Do you want it on the rocks or neat?” When he looked at her, she shook her head in embarrassment. “Rocks means over ice cubes. Neat means just that, whiskey straight up in a glass.”
“Neat,” he answered, smiling at her.
“Me too,” she answered, as she poured two very generous servings into their glasses and carried them over to the sofa. “Sit down here with me and we’ll talk, Victor.”
“Thank you,” he said, accepting the glass and sitting beside her. “Who do I see to find out what I am to be doing?” he repeated his question. “There has to be something I am to do to gain my way into Heaven.”
“I wouldn’t know how to answer that; you are the first person I have ever heard of who is going through this. I didn’t know it was possible to be sent to another time period. I don’t think you should go around telling anyone this, either. At the best, they will think you are a bit loony and want to see you locked up, like a threat to them. At the worst, they will think you are evil and want to see you suffer. Scientists will want to take you apart to figure out why this has happened, and they will question you endlessly,
run all sorts of tests on you – some of them painful – all of them annoying as hell. It really is best you pretend to be from here. We’ll have to get you some ID and find a way for you to make a living. I can help you with all of that.”
“I do not wish to lie to anyone, Jessica.”
“It isn’t lying as much as it is protecting your butt.” She decided to take his mind off his troubles. “Tell me about Christmas. What would you be doing right now if you were home?”
“Trying to protect Susie Baker from the Ames Gang,” he said quietly. “That poor girl. They’ll use her and kill her, and how will her parents ever face Christmas again?” He took a sip of his whiskey. “My ma is already with my Aunt Laurie in Bigsby; I was to ride up there on Christmas to have dinner with them.”
“You can join my family. They will hound you with questions, but they do that to anyone who comes to holiday dinners. They’ll think you are my boyfriend,” she warned.
“You are pretty enough to have several suitors vying for your attention, Miss Jessica.”
“Not me. I don’t date very often.”
“Why not?” he asked, sipping his whiskey.
“Most men feel threatened by me. I am a police officer, and they are smart enough to know I can kick their butts.”
“You are just a little girl! What is wrong with the men here?” he asked, meaning the words.
“Most men aren’t as big and strong as you are,” she explained, blushing at how easily he had managed the task of spanking her. Unless she truly wanted to hurt him, there was nothing she could do to protect herself from the humiliation. Victor Bodey was an exceptionally strong man.
“Most women aren’t so outrageous either,” he said, sounding like he was scolding her. “Doesn’t your father disapprove of your job?”
“He does, as a matter of fact. He would be happier if I married some nice guy and had ten kids.”
“Why doesn’t he put a stop to this then?”
“He can’t. I am an adult.”
“You are a female.”
“I am a female who is an adult. I make my own decisions. All women are like me. We fought hard to have the right to make our own choices in life.”
