by A. M. Myers
My gaze flicks around my one thousand square foot townhouse and I sigh again, rubbing my hand over my face. It’s a quintessential bachelor pad complete with the signature black leather couch and it’s even more depressing than Smith’s announcement. I peel my jacket off and toss it on one of the dining room chairs before turning to the fridge and grabbing a beer. As I sink into the couch, I grab the remote and kick my boots off before flipping through the channels. A baseball game catches my eye and I toss the remote to the cushion next to me and take a sip of my beer. My vision blurs. I drop my head back and close my eyes, rubbing them as I yawn. An image of Piper fills my mind almost immediately. Growling, my eyes snap open and I down half my beer as a commercial for a dating site flashes across the TV. I snort.
“There’s no way in hell,” I mutter, shaking my head. I’m not too proud to admit that I’m desperate for my dream to become a reality but I’m not that desperate. Finishing off my beer, I stand up and trudge back into the kitchen to grab another one before plopping down on the couch again. The game helps me turn my brain off and I drink three more beers before glancing at the stairs and telling myself I should go to sleep. The commercial for the dating site comes on again and I turn back to the TV. Maybe it’s the five beers making my brain fuzzy but I don’t have the same reaction to it that I did last time. Instead, I’m left wondering… why not? My brows draw together and before I know what I’m doing, I have my phone in my hand and I’m typing in the website.
“Jesus Christ,” I whisper to myself as I click the sign-up button and the application flashes across my screen. “I’m not really doing this.”
Glancing up at the TV, a gorgeous brunette models shampoo but in my head, all I can see is Piper - her pale skin, rosy cheeks, smokey green eyes, and long dark red hair as she straddles my lap and takes my cock inside her.
“Fuck.”
I chug my beer and set the bottle down on the coffee table before holding my phone in front of my face and start filling in my information before uploading a photo of myself. When I’m finished, my thumb hovers over the submit button and I suck in a breath. I blow it out as my stomach flips and I press the button. The page refreshes and my profile stares back at me as I shake my head.
Fuck it.
What’s the worst that could happen?
Chapter Two
Piper
The familiar chords of Canon in D by Pachelbel begin to play, drifting across the manicured grounds of the plantation, twisting between the sprawling branches of the massive oak trees scattered around the plantation and float across the gleaming water as every guest in attendance stands and turns toward the back of the house, waiting for the bride to make her first appearance. Ignoring her, I focus my lens on the man waiting for her at the other end of the aisle and start snapping photos, one right after the other in rapid succession and the moment he sees her, his eyes widen and his jaw drops. Tears well up in his eyes and I grin as warmth radiates through my body and I continue snapping photos. Most people like to watch the bride walk down the aisle when they come to a wedding and Eden, my business partner and best friend, will make sure we get plenty of shots of her but my favorite part of any wedding we’re hired to photograph is to watch the groom’s expression as soon as he sees his bride for the first time. Whether he smiles, stares at her in awe, fights back tears, or bawls like a baby, it’s always magical and it reminds me of a time in my life when I had the same thing.
Pushing away those memories, I continue photographing her walk down the aisle and when she reaches the altar, I move to the middle of the aisle and creep forward to continue capturing their ceremony. I glance over to my side as Eden works her way around the outside of the guests to get an even better angle of the groom’s face as the preacher begins speaking. Staring up at the couple, I notice their hands intertwined and snap a couple shots of that before moving the camera up to their faces. The dress our bride chose embodies classic southern elegance and it’s molded to her body like a second skin, showing off her curves as she stares up at her groom, her eyes shining with unshed tears. It would be a killer shot if I could just find the right vantage spot… scanning the outskirts of the property, I notice a tree that would give me the perfect angle and I rush back to my equipment, swapping out my lens for a longer one before motioning to Eden. She glances over to where I’m pointing and smiles with a nod.
After securing my camera around my neck with the strap and kicking off my heels, I jog around the outside of the seating area, ignoring the disapproving looks from the older guests as I loop my hands around the lowest branch and pull myself up as discreetly as possible. Wedding photography is a delicate balance because each couple wants that perfect shot that they will proudly hang in their home for the rest of their lives but I also have to be careful not to be a distraction and sometimes, that’s easier said than done. Especially when I’m doing something crazy like climbing a tree to get the right angle but if it works… it will be glorious.
With my heart thundering in my chest, I climb the tree as quickly and quietly as possible before situating myself on one of the branches and bringing my camera to my eye and grinning. Just over the groom’s shoulder, I can see the bride’s face as he begins reciting his vows and I start snapping, capturing each and every emotion that flits across her face as a few tears spill down her cheeks and her smile nearly splits her face. Love shines in her eyes and it smacks me in the chest. I suck in a breath as pain blossoms where my heart should be and branches out through my body like a virus. Fighting back tears of my own, I keep shooting, trying frantically to focus on the job at hand instead of the source of the agony ripping through my body.
As the bride begins reciting her vows, Eden crouches down on the other side of them and I climb back down the tree as quickly as possible so I can get set up for their first kiss. Once I’m on the ground again, I jog around the crowd to the back of the aisle and creep forward before dropping to my knees and training my lens up at the happy couple.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the preacher declares. “You may kiss your bride.”
The groom flashes his new wife a wide smile as he hooks an arm around her waist and pulls her onto his lips before dipping her and the crowd whoops and hollers around me. Grinning, I snap several photos and an image of Wyatt smiling at me flashes through my mind before I can stop it. God, I love his smile. When we were married, it was one of my favorite things in the world but now it only serves as a reminder of everything I’ve lost… everything I walked away from. Shaking my head, I push the emotions down as I start backing up, snapping photos constantly, as the bride and groom clasp hands and begin walking down the aisle toward me, beaming at their guests and each other before turning to me to flash me a grin. When they get to the end of the aisle, they turn to each other and kiss again and I snap a couple more photos before moving to the table Eden and I set up to organize all our equipment.
“Wait until you see the photo I snapped of you climbing that damn tree,” Eden says as she walks up to me and I scoff as I shake my head.
“Whatever. As long as the client is happy.”
She nods. “Did you get a good shot?”
“You think I climbed a tree and missed the shot?” I ask, clicking over to the photos I took today and flipping to the one I snapped up in the tree before showing it to her. Her lips part in a silent gasp.
“Okay. That’s gorgeous. Totally worth climbing a tree over. Although, Teresa’s grandma looked like she wanted to murder you.”
I glance over at the bride’s grandma and she meets my gaze before narrowing her eyes in disgust. I shrug as I turn back to Eden. “Again, whatever.”
“What are you thinking for the official wedding photos?” she asks as she turns to scan the property. I secure the flash on top of my camera and turn to do the same, pursing my lips. The afternoon sun is bouncing off the water and in about an hour, the light will be absolutely perfect.
“Let’s get all the family shots and then we can
get the bride and groom down by the water and also by one of these oak trees.”
She nods and holds out several strings of mini paper lanterns. “You want to string these through the branches while I round the family up?”
“You got it.”
As she heads into the crowd to collect everyone, I go back to the tree I climbed earlier and inspect it before looking around the property. Other trees have better branches on them but this tree has a perfect view of the lake in the background that will look gorgeous with the lights as the sun starts to go down. I quickly hang the strings of lights off the branches before plugging them into one of our extension cords to make sure they are all still working. The soft light they emit is so romantic and I can practically see the photos in my head as I smile and unplug them until we’re ready for them.
“Piper,” Eden calls and I glance over my shoulder as she waves me over to a shady spot where the family is waiting for us to begin. Nodding, I jog over to the table and grab my camera and a reflector before joining them. As Eden gets the bride’s extended family set up for their first shot, I loop the camera strap over my neck and move the reflector around until it casts a golden glow on the group. Eden snaps a few photos before reorganizing the group to include the bride and her parents. Once she has enough shots, she pulls the groom in and snaps a couple more photos before replacing the bride’s parents with the groom’s and going through the whole process again. After we grab a big group photo with everyone in it, she sends everyone on their way except for the bride, groom, and the wedding party.
“How are you guys holding up?” Eden asks Teresa as we make our way down to the lake. Maybe it sounds like a weird question to ask someone on what is supposed to be the happiest day of their lives but after doing a couple of these, we figured out that weddings are as exhausting as they are exciting. Teresa beams, clasping her new husband’s hand in between both of hers as she glances up at him and he grins down at her.
“It’s been magical.”
More images from my past hit me in the gut as we reach the edge of the lake and I resist the urge to squeeze my eyes shut. Eden glances over at me with a concerned expression but I just shake my head. When I first met Eden in a photography class a little over six years ago, I put on one hell of a good show but I was still a shell of a person, struggling to figure out how to just be but Eden always saw through the bullshit and she never pushed me to open up before I was ready. As we both continued studying photography, our friendship grew and I spilled the truth of my ugly past to her one drunken night. She never once judged me for it and she’s never used it against me. By the time the class ended, we both knew we wanted to pursue doing photography full-time and we were practically like sisters so it only made sense for us to go into this together.
“You okay?” she whispers under her breath and I nod my head. Eden knows how hard weddings can be for me which is why we don’t take all that many but they are good money so every once in a while, I have to bite the bullet. She sighs, her brows still knitted in concern. “I’ve got your back if you need to bounce.”
“Thank you.”
As she sets the wedding party up for their first photo, I stare out across the water. My issues with weddings are so layered and so complicated that I don’t even know how to begin to explain it. My own wedding day was one of the happiest days of my life and if I close my eyes, I can still see Wyatt smiling down at me as he told me that he was going to love me with his whole heart until the day he took his last breath but everything that happened after that day… I turn away from the group as I blink away tears and suck in a breath.
“You know, I think I’m going to go get some shots of the reception while you finish this up,” I say just loud enough for Eden to hear me and she places her hand on my arm, drawing my gaze back to her as she nods.
“Go. I got this.”
Nodding, I mouth a thank you to her before hiking back up the hill with my camera in my hand, grateful to be away from all the love, happiness, and wedded bliss. Not that I’m bitter or anything… When I go to my appointment with Dr. Brewer next week, she’s going to be disappointed that I ran away instead of confronting my feelings in the moment and as much as she’s helped me, sometimes her advice isn’t all that practical. I mean, hell, I can’t exactly have a mental breakdown in the middle of someone’s special day. That’s just about the tackiest thing I’ve ever heard. Besides, these couples hire Eden and I to capture every moment of one of the most important days of their life, not blubber on about the mistakes I’ve made in my life.
Once I get back up to the house, I take my time as I grab the equipment I’ll need for shooting indoors and slip in the back door, wandering around the lavish house before following the sound of music. The party isn’t really in full swing yet since everyone is still waiting for the happy couple to show up but I lift my camera to my face and snap a few photos of the flower girl, the ring bearer, and their friends dancing to the pop song playing around the ballroom before scanning the crowd and getting a great shot of the groom’s grandma laughing at something the gentleman next to her said. Sighing, I glance over at the door, guilt eating away at me that I’m not out there doing my job with Eden before shoving the feeling down and gazing around the room again. I wouldn’t mind being able to sit down for a second either. Eden and I have been here, photographing everything since noon when the bride started getting ready and my feet are starting to ache.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Stewart,” the DJ booms and everyone stands and cheers as the bride and groom walk into the room, hand in hand. I raise my camera and snap a couple of shots before feeling a nudge at my side.
“Feeling better?” Eden asks.
“Yeah. Get some good shots?”
She nods, surveying the crowd. “The sunset was incredible and those little lanterns you hung in the tree worked perfectly.”
“I can’t wait to see them,” I tell her with a smile. My stomach flips, the guilt eating away at me again. It’s really not fair to Eden that she has to take on the bulk of work sometimes because of my issues but I also don’t know what else I can do about it. She nudges me again and I glance over at her.
“I know what that look on your face means and you need to knock that shit off right now.”
I scowl as I turn away from her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Mmhmm. Wanna talk about it?”
“Not particularly,” I mutter.
“I thought maybe this wedding wouldn’t be so hard since you have James now.”
I flinch at the mention of my boyfriend… or ex-boyfriend now, technically. “I ended things with James.”
“Why?” She doesn’t sound all that surprised by my news and even I have to admit, I’m not even a little upset by the fact that we broke up so maybe she saw this coming before I did. I glance back at her.
“We didn’t want the same things.”
She arches a brow. “Which means what? That he wasn’t Wy…”
“Don’t finish that statement,” I warn her, shaking my head. There are some things I like about Eden knowing everything about my past and then there are things that I really hate like her calling me on my shit each and every time. “He didn’t want to have kids.”
“Oh,” she whispers. “Are you okay? With the breakup, I mean?”
I nod. “Yeah. Honestly, I’m not even upset about it. More relieved than anything else… I don’t know. I guess I only started dating again to try and move on with my life but I’m starting to wonder if it’s a lost cause.”
“You’re not a lost cause, Piper. Don’t talk about yourself like that.”
“I just mean… maybe I’m not meant to have all this,” I answer, motioning to the reception surrounding us. “Maybe I had my shot at love and a family and I screwed it all up.”
Wrapping her arm around my shoulders, she pulls me into a hug with a sigh. “People don’t just get one shot at love, babe. That I’m sure of and if you’re serious about wan
ting a family, you don’t need a man for that.”
“Uh, technically you do need a man. That’s like one of the two main ingredients.”
She laughs. “Don’t be a smart ass. You know what I meant. You could get a sperm donor and get inseminated or whatever.”
“Do it myself? Seriously?”
“Why not?” she answers with a shrug. “It’s two thousand nineteen and you are a strong, independent woman. If you want to have a baby, find a way to make it happen.”
Staring out at the newly married couple as they dance, I chew on my bottom lip and raise my camera to my eye to snap a couple photos as the thoughts bounce around in my mind. Could I really do it all myself? I mean, anytime I thought about the family I wanted to have, Wyatt was always a part of that picture and no matter how hard I tried, the image never changed. That’s probably why none of my other relationships worked out - not that there were all that many - but still, there is no room in my life and my heart for anyone else because Wyatt is always there. Having a baby, though… it has always been one of my greatest dreams.
“Just think about it, okay? Don’t sell yourself short because this is the kind of thing that you’ll come to regret if you don’t go for it.”
Pulling the camera away from my face, I meet her eyes and nod. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”
“That’s all I ask,” she answers, grinning at me and I snort out a laugh.
“It’s a pretty big ask. We’re talking about a baby here and me being a single mother.”
