Beautifully Broken Control (The Sutter Lake Series Book 4)

by Catherine Cowles

  I entered Preston Barrington into my search engine and hit the motherload. No wonder the last name had sounded familiar. Davis Barrington had been arrested and convicted for turning his hedge fund into a Ponzi scheme. It had been all over the papers two years ago.

  But why had Preston said that Kennedy would tank my business? My eyes skimmed over an article about the case. Davis Barrington was arrested yesterday on various charges, all centering around the misappropriation of funds from his investment company. The real twist of the story comes from who helped the FBI make the arrest. His twenty-year-old daughter, Kennedy Barrington, allegedly got a confession on tape for the law enforcement agency. Many believe she was complicit in the crimes but simply knew her father would soon be caught and decided to save herself.

  I exited out of the article. Everything made a hell of a lot more sense now. How jumpy Kennedy had been when I’d asked questions about her past. Her aversion to anything she perceived as waste. She was drowning in guilt. For something she’d had no part in.

  My fingers flew over the keyboard again, my brain working out all the potential ways for this to cause Kennedy harm. I’d only followed the case in a cursory way and had no idea who all the players were. Davis had been sentenced to ten years in a federal penitentiary but had recently been granted parole.

  My chest squeezed. Kennedy had one of the most tender hearts I’d ever known. What had it done to her to know that she’d put her father away and that he was getting out after only two years?

  The majority of the hedge fund employees had been found innocent, including Kennedy’s brother, but their careers had been tanked. They’d never work in New York finance again. I searched out Preston, he was the figure I was most concerned about right now.

  After a deep background dive, I found that he too had changed his name. He now went by Preston Williams. But his identity switch was easier to find. Apparently, it hadn’t been sealed by the courts as I assumed Kennedy’s was. Preston worked for a new financial startup in Seattle, but it appeared he was more of a silent partner. His name and photo were featured nowhere on their site. The only connection I’d found was when I hacked into the man’s bank account and saw the direct deposits.

  My back molars ground together. Preston wasn’t exactly hurting for cash. He had a couple million sitting in his savings account alone. So, why was he so angry with his sister? Because of the lost prestige?

  My mind circled everything that had happened from every angle I could think of, and I kept coming back to Kennedy’s sealed name change. Why had that been necessary? I plugged her old name into my search engine.

  The first photo that popped up was what must have been a graduation photo. She wore pearls around her neck and dangling from her ears, along with the black draping that was typical of those private prep school photos. Her hair was swept back in a perfect bun at the base of her neck.

  I barely recognized her. The smile on her face was forced, and her eyes didn’t have the sparkle they held now. She looked as if she were playing a part that had been miscast. No wonder she’d bristled at the persona I’d put on earlier in the evening.

  I minimized the photo. I couldn’t look at it anymore. The next article I opened had me sitting up in bed. Kennedy Barrington Attacked Leaving FBI, the headline read. My eyes skimmed the text, speeding ahead to get to the information I needed, but then came to a dead stop on the photo. The woman who was one of the kindest I knew was covered in what looked like blood. My heart stopped until I read the caption. Attacker throws fake blood on Barrington.

  No wonder she’d run. Started over. I would’ve done the same. My heart ached for the woman I knew now. How alone she must’ve felt.

  I pushed those feelings aside and forced myself to go into threat assessment mode. I did something I hadn’t done since I was a senior in college. I hacked into the FBI’s database.

  My focus tunneled. All I saw was a series of ones and zeroes until I got to where I needed to go. Then all I saw were names and reports, most of it useless until I came to one by an Agent Carnes. Apparently, he’d been Kennedy’s point of contact, the one who had first approached her for help.

  I fought the urge to clench my hands as I read through the transcript of that first meeting. They’d basically threatened to arrest her brother if Kennedy didn’t help. My eyes scanned down the screen. The report listed a slew of threats made against Kennedy, including four or five people who had been harassing her, making those threats directly to her, even after she’d moved across the country.

  It appeared as if Carnes had grown protective of Kennedy. Maybe it was guilt for using her as a pawn in his case, or perhaps he wasn’t as bad a guy as that first meeting suggested. Regardless, he’d pushed for Kennedy to file restraining orders against the harassers. She’d refused, stating: “these people have lost enough. I’m not going to take any more from them.” Instead, she’d opted to change her name and basically erase herself from existence.

  I knew now that she’d moved to a small town in Oregon where she avoided having her photograph taken and encountering anyone who might recognize her. She paid for the sins of her father by taking as little as humanly possible and giving more than I could fathom in return. It wasn’t an existence that was sustainable. She was punishing herself. And it had to stop.

  21

  Kennedy

  My wake-up call came in the form of a pounding head and something that smelled like bacon. I pushed up in bed, my hands going to my temples and attempting to rub some relief in there. I tried to blink away the scratchiness behind my eyelids. No luck.

  I sniffed the air. It was definitely bacon I smelled. I swung my legs out of bed and stood. The idea of hiding away in this room forever was tempting, but I’d have to face Cain at some point. It might as well be with bacon.

  I padded towards the bathroom and winced at my reflection. My eyes were swollen and bloodshot, my hair was a rat’s nest, and there were creases along the side of my face from my pillow—all of it a reminder from the night before.

  I closed my eyes against the image of Preston’s face, twisted in anger, in hurt. My brother. My protector. And now, he was nothing. No, it was worse than nothing. There had been hatred in his gaze. Those green eyes flashed over and over in my mind.

  I inhaled deeply, forcing my lids open. I wouldn’t let myself wallow. I refused. I’d come too far. The most comfortable bed I’d ever slept in. Someone who cared enough to not let me go home alone. Chuck. Bacon. There was always something to be grateful for. Always.

  I released my hold on the sink and gave the cabinets a quick search, finding that the bathroom was, of course, fully stocked. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and attempted to get a brush through my hair. There was nothing else I could do to prolong seeing Cain.

  I tiptoed out of my room and headed down the hall towards the kitchen and the smells of breakfast. Cain looked up from the island at the sound of my footsteps. “Hey.”

  I twisted my hands in front of me. “Good morning.”

  He patted a stool next to him. “Hop on up here. I bribed one of the busboys from the bakery and cafe to bring us out some breakfast.”

  I took in the spread in front of me. Eggs, bacon, pancakes, and donuts. “This looks great.”

  “Definitely worth the bribe since I’m overdue for a grocery shop. You sleep okay?” An edge of concern slipped into his tone with his question.

  I slid onto the stool. “I did. That bed is super comfortable.”

  Cain chuckled. “I’ll be sure to tell my decorator.”

  I nibbled on a strip of bacon and waited. I was sure the questions were coming, so I needed to stay braced for them. Cain simply poured me a glass of orange juice and went back to his own eggs. “What time do you have to be at work?”

  I jolted at the totally normal question. “I, uh, actually don’t work today. Just volunteer at the shelter tonight.” Jensen had started closing the Kettle on Sundays so she could have time with her family. I loved that she’d foun
d that—balance, peace.

  “Do you need to pick up Chuck from her?”

  “She offered to bring him to me since I don’t have a car, but if you have time to swing by there, I’d love to save her the trip.” I forked a bite of egg, relaxing just a bit.

  “Not a problem. We can go get him after we finish breakfast.”

  “Thank you.” We continued to eat in silence. I wanted to apologize for last night, but I also didn’t want to give Cain an opening to ask more questions about what had happened with my family. So, I opted for silence.

  When I finished eating, I cleared my plate, rinsing it and placing it in the dishwasher. “Do you mind if I wear this home? I’d rather not put on a formal gown first thing in the morning.”

  Cain chuckled. “Of course.”

  “I’ll wash it and get it back to you ASAP.”

  He rose, bringing his own dish to the sink and standing just a breath away from me. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve got more where those came from.”

  I fingered the hem of the tee. It was perfectly worn and had a hint of the cologne Cain wore. I didn’t want to give it back. But I would. “Thank you.”

  Cain turned to face me, one hip leaning against the counter. “You don’t have to thank me for everything. I like doing things for you.”

  My nose twitched. “Well, I like thanking you.”

  Cain shook his head, grinning. “Fair enough. Ready to go get your pup?”

  “Yup. Let me grab my purse and dress.” I hadn’t been away from Chuck overnight in years, and after last night, I was more than ready for some puppy cuddles.

  By the time I’d retrieved my belongings from the guest room, Cain was waiting for me in the entryway. Thankfully, I’d brought my flip-flops on the plane, so I wasn’t wearing sweatpants and stiletto heels. However, I still looked ridiculous, wearing clothes that were about six sizes too big.

  Cain grinned at me. “You look like someone shrunk you but not your clothes.”

  I scowled at him. “You do realize that when we show up at Jensen’s, she and Tuck are going to get the total wrong impression of what went down here, right?”

  He blanched just a bit. “Fuck.”

  “Yeah, buddy.” I patted his arm and headed out the front door.

  The drive to Cole Ranch was peaceful. We rolled down the windows and let the warm breeze flow through the SUV. I let my arm drape out the window, my hand riding the wave of air.

  Cain keyed in the gate code at the ranch, and we wound around until we reached the guest cottage. Sixty seconds after we pulled in, Noah came bounding out of the front door, Jensen and Tuck on his heels. “Kenz, Cain!” He wrapped his arms around me in a warm hug. “Chuck and I had the best time. We played fetch, and I gave him peanut butter treats, and he slept on my bed.”

  Jensen lifted her brows at me as she took in my outfit. “I think we wore him out because he’s been sleeping on the couch all morning. Looks like you’re worn out, too.”

  I squirmed in place. “It was late when we got back, so I just crashed in one of Cain’s guest rooms.”

  “Guest room, huh?” Jensen didn’t look like she believed me one bit.

  “Wilder…” Tuck’s single word was a warning as he pulled her into his side. “Don’t meddle.”

  She stuck out her tongue at him. “I’ll meddle if I want to. I’m a great meddler. Look at Taylor and Walker, and Liam and Tessa. Someone should give me a meddling medal.”

  Tuck just shook his head. “You two crazy kids have fun at that fancy shindig?”

  I stiffened. I should’ve had an answer prepared. Of course, they’d ask. I tried to force a smile, but before I could say a word, Cain jumped in. “I don’t know if I’d call it fun,”—he looked at me—“but at least I didn’t have to face the piranhas alone.”

  My heart did a stutter-step. There was nothing but honesty in Cain’s voice. He was grateful he hadn’t had to face that scene alone. Even after I’d ended the night in the most dramatic fashion imaginable, he was still thankful I’d gone with him.

  “Noah, why don’t you go get Chuck for Kenz?” Jensen ushered her son inside. Noah nodded and ran back into the house.

  “Thank you so much for watching him, J.”

  “Are you kidding? He kept Noah entertained for hours. I think it’s official that we need a dog.”

  Tuck brushed his lips against her temple. “Told you.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” She shoved at his chest playfully.

  I knew then that I’d have to tell them the truth. Jensen, at least. She’d employed me when I had basically no skills, given me a place to live, and welcomed me into her home. She deserved to know who it was that she’d done those things for. Even if it meant I’d lose the safe place I’d built for myself. I didn’t think she’d fire me, but she was guaranteed to look at me differently. How could she not? Tears clogged my throat as the memories of the stares and jeers from the crowd behind the FBI building filled my mind. I gave my head a little shake, trying to clear them.

  Noah appeared with Chuck on his leash. The second he saw me, my pup rushed towards me. I crouched so I could meet his leap with open arms. I couldn’t help the little laugh that escaped me as he bathed my face in kisses. “I missed you too, buddy.” I hauled him up into my arms, soaking in his unconditional love. “Okay, we’re ready.”

  Cain had a smile on his face that said he was desperately trying to hold in a laugh. “Then let’s head out.”

  “Thanks again, you guys. J, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Later, Kenz. Cain.” She waved as we hopped into the car.

  Chuck settled in my lap, head resting on my arm and the center console, and immediately began snoring. This time, Cain couldn’t hold in his laughter. “I wish I had that dog’s capacity for sleep.”

  “Cut him some slack. He’s an old man.” I stroked Chuck’s silky fur.

  “He’s spoiled. If there’s such a thing as multiple lives, I hope I come back as that dog.”

  I grinned. “You should only be so lucky.”

  Cain guided the SUV out of the ranch and back towards town. Before long, we were pulling up to the back of the Kettle. As I lifted Chuck, I winced. “Uh, Cain?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Do you have any paper towels in your car?”

  His brow furrowed. “I don’t think so, why?”

  I pressed my lips together before answering. “My dog might’ve drooled a bit.”

  Cain glanced down at the substantial puddle on the center console and let out a bark of laughter. “I think you need to get that dog some medical attention.”

  I cuddled Chuck to my chest. “Don’t listen to him, baby. You’re perfectly fine.”

  “Sure, he is.” Cain pushed his door open. “Come on, I’ll follow you up and steal a few paper towels from you.”

  I opened my own door and got out with Chuck in tow. “I guess that’s the least I could do.”

  We headed inside. Once I’d unlocked my door and keyed in the alarm code, Cain was already inside and studying my space. He’d been in here before, for hours, but he still seemed riveted. He pointed to my gratitude jars. “What are those?”

  I nibbled on the corner of my lip. “Where I keep the things I’m grateful for.”

  He gave me a gentle smile. “Do you ever read through them?”

  I nodded. “If I’m having a bad day or just need a reminder of all the good there is in the world. I’ll take one off the shelf and pick out some papers at random.”

  Cain edged closer to me, gaze searching my face. “Does it help?” He stopped just a breath away from me.

  I licked my lips. “Always.”

  He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his hand stalling there, slipping to my neck. “I just might have to try that.”

  “You should.” I didn’t breathe, couldn’t as his gaze zeroed in on my mouth.

  Chuck let out a loud snore, and Cain dropped his hold on me as if he’d been burned. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see you later.�
�

  He was gone before I had a second to process what had happened. And he hadn’t even gotten the towels he needed. That’s how eager he was to get away from me. It hurt in a way I hadn’t expected. I thought my brother’s disgust was the worst pain I’d feel. But I’d been wrong.

  22

  Cain

  “How’s the living in discomfort going?”

  My hands tightened on the wheel as I heard the smile in Dr. Murphy’s voice. “Not fucking good.” I’d spent the day working on my new program for Halo and trying desperately to distract myself from the temptation that was Kennedy. It had been a failure. I’d made almost no progress, and all I seemed to be able to see were Kennedy’s lips.

  I’d almost kissed her. I’d almost taken that mouth, consequences be damned. But she didn’t deserve the demons I wrestled with. She’d been through too much already.

  “Talk to me.” The trace of humor had left Murphy’s voice.

  I blew out a long breath as I rounded a curve in the road. “I almost kissed her today.”

  “And that would be so bad, why?”

  “You know why. I’ve wanted to swing by the Kettle at least ten times today to check on her. Just to make sure she was safe.”

  “But did you?”

  My jaw clenched. “No. I didn’t.”

  “Cain, the urge will probably always be there. You lost someone close to you in an incredibly violent manner. Someone you saw yourself as the protector of.”

  “I was her fucking protector!” The words tore from me with a vehemence I couldn’t control.

  “But that wasn’t your job.”

  Emotion burned the back of my throat. “I promised her I’d always look out for her.”

  “And you did. But your mother should’ve been looking out for both of you. She didn’t. And she let someone into her life she shouldn’t have.”

  “Don’t. Just, don’t. I don’t have it in me to talk about that today.” I couldn’t handle the truth of what had happened to Kiara on top of the disaster that was work and trying to sort through everything in my head about Kennedy. Everyone had their breaking point, and this was mine.