Beautifully Broken Control (The Sutter Lake Series Book 4)

by Catherine Cowles

  My back arched as Cain palmed my breasts, teasing my nipples. He gave one a gentle pinch. It was all I needed to go tumbling over the edge, taking him with me.

  I collapsed onto Cain’s chest. “Thank you.”

  He chuckled, sending delicious sensations through my over-sensitized body. “You never have to thank me for that, baby.”

  “I like for you to know I’m grateful.”

  He nipped at my ear. “There’s nothing in this life I’m more grateful for than you.”

  Epilogue

  Kennedy

  TWO YEARS LATER

  Light hands. Whisper-soft. Tracing over my face. “Mmmmmm.” My response was part moan, part complaint. “Sleeping.”

  A deep chuckle sounded beside me. “I know, but you need to wake up. We’ve got a big day ahead of us.”

  I cracked open a single eyelid. “What time is it?”

  Cain sat propped up against the pillows, all the glorious tanned skin of his chest on full display. “A little after six.”

  I burrowed my face back into the pillow. “I can sleep for another hour.”

  “If you open those eyes, I’ll give you a present.”

  “Your cock is not a present,” I mumbled against the pillow.

  Cain grunted. “That’s not what you said last night.”

  My eyes flew open, then narrowed. “Careful, if you want my mouth anytime in the next month.”

  He scoffed. “Please, you couldn’t stay away from my dick for longer than a day or two.”

  He wasn’t wrong. I had an addiction to the man that was unrivaled. I pushed myself up and leaned against the pillows. “All right, I’m awake. What’s my present?” I eyed his flannel pajama bottoms.

  “Eyes up here, baby.” Cain’s voice was low but held a hint of humor.

  I shrugged. “Your choice.”

  Cain reached over to the nightstand and handed me a jar. It was breathtakingly beautiful. It looked like intricately blown glass, a swirl of blues and greens. “It’s gorgeous.” I studied it more carefully, turning it in the light. As I did, I caught an etching on its surface. Forever grateful.

  My gaze flicked up to Cain. “A gratitude jar for me?” I’d kept up the process, even though life was easier these days. I never wanted to lose that sense of appreciation or wonder. We had an entire bookshelf in the living room dedicated to my jars.

  The lake house was full of a lot more mementos like those. The walls housed photos, new and old. We’d brought Kiara out of the dark and into the light. Into our lives. Cain didn’t shy away from her memory anymore, he embraced it. The journey hadn’t been an easy one, but he’d taken it and never once pushed me away through it all.

  Cain tapped the lid of the jar. “I don’t know. It looks like it might already be full.”

  I took in the slips of paper I’d missed on my earlier inspection, too distracted by the shimmering glass in its beautiful colors. I unlatched the lid and pulled out a scrap of paper. It was filled with Cain’s sloping scrawl.

  The way you take care of everyone in your orbit.

  My brows pulled together as I glanced quickly at Cain. He motioned for me to pull out another. I did.

  The look on your face when I make you come.

  My cheeks heated as I reached for another.

  How you love my demons.

  My heart clenched. I did. I loved every last piece of Cain. And now I knew them all. It had only made my love grow deeper, rooting itself in me in a way I knew would last forever.

  Cain tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “It’s all the things I love about you. All the things I’m grateful for.” My eyes flew up to meet his gaze. “Well, not all the things. One jar wouldn’t be enough. But I promise, I’ll keep making you these, so if you ever need reminding, you’ll only need to pull out a slip of paper.”

  My breath hitched as my eyes welled. “Just when I think I can’t love you more.”

  His face softened. “Do me a favor?” I nodded. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box. “Be my wife.”

  I didn’t wait to see what the box held, I launched myself at him, sobbing into his chest and nodding.

  “Is that a yes?”

  “Yes! Of course, it’s a yes.”

  Cain stroked a hand down my back, pulling my hair away from my face. “You haven’t even looked at the ring.” It could’ve been made of barbed wire, and I still would’ve said yes. But, of course, it wasn’t. Cain slipped the ring onto my finger. It caught the light, sending rainbows dancing on the wall.

  “Cain…” It was breathtaking. Too large, but I knew better than to argue the point. I had to let him have his way here. Compromise. I looked up to meet his gaze. “It’s perfect.”

  He let out a breath. “I thought you might fight me on it.”

  I laughed. “I’m getting better. I did get a car.”

  Cain rolled his eyes. “One of the cheapest you could find.”

  I pinched his nipple. “A Jeep isn’t cheap. It’s practical.” I was never going to be into all the fancy gadgets he was, but I also wasn’t punishing myself for someone else’s deeds any longer.

  He grinned and placed my jar back on the nightstand, then rolled me to my back. “I’m glad you’re reasonable, Mrs. Hale.”

  My eyes welled again. “I can’t wait to make it official.”

  His mouth swept across mine, tongue darting in. “Let’s do it soon.”

  “Next month?”

  Cain pulled back. “You sure?”

  I nodded. “Something small. Simple. Just our family.” Our family was one and the same already. Our perfect small circle of loved ones. “Chuck can be the ring bearer.” A snore of agreement sounded from his bed on the floor.

  Cain shook his head as his mouth lowered to mine again.

  “Hey, guys. You up? I’m going to make breakfast.”

  Cain scowled. “You have got to be kidding me.”

  I dissolved into laughter. “You’re the one who decided to propose when you knew my brother was here.”

  “He’s such a cock-block.”

  I kissed Cain slowly. “I’ll make it up to you, future husband. I promise.”

  “Damn right, you will.” He groaned as he rolled his hips against me, just once. “We could always take a shower…”

  “A really long one.”

  In a flash, Cain was up and had me thrown over his shoulder. I shrieked as he headed for the bathroom.

  Cain lifted one of the half-dozen cakes out of the trunk. His eyes traveled over the rainbow sprinkles dotting the frosting. I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Do you think she’d like this?”

  Cain’s voice was thick when he answered. “Kiara would love that we’re celebrating her birthday this way.”

  I squeezed his waist. “She’d be so proud of you.”

  He nodded, shifting the cake to one hand so he could wrap an arm around me. “I know she would. And this place, it’s keeping a piece of her alive.”

  I looked up at the brand-new building where the community center used to be housed. After the dust had settled from my mother’s attack, I’d found out that my grandmother had indeed left me an exorbitant amount of money. More than I had any need for. I’d struggled with it at first, but Cain had been there, helping me process it all and deciding what to do.

  My brother and I had decided to give the vast majority of our inheritances to create a fund to help reimburse the victims hit the hardest by my father’s crimes. Because while my mother had gone to prison, my father had toed the line of his parole and remained free, making no attempts at restitution. But I’d kept a few million of my inheritance aside for a very special project.

  I’d approached the city and asked to buy the community center, with an agreement that I’d build a new one in its place. The buildings that lay before us now were so much more than that. Hope House had its own separate space with a cafeteria, a rec room, and apartments for families needing a place to stay until they got back on their feet again. Anoth
er building held a multi-level gymnasium complete with a gym, pool, and studio space for classes. Any member of the community could take any assortment of sessions for free. And I got to teach as many ballet classes as I wanted.

  Lastly, there was the Kiara Center. A building that housed social workers, therapists, and an after-school staff. It was a safe haven for anyone who needed it. It was a place for kids who needed somewhere to go after school because no one was home. A place to help and support when the world hit especially hard. It even had a food pantry and a kitchen where anyone could come by for a warm meal. It was our dream to prevent the violence that had cut Kiara’s life short by providing the support any family might need. The help Cain and Kiara had needed.

  “I’m so damn proud of you.” Cain pressed his lips to my temple.

  I looked up. “I’m proud of us both.” While the project was mine, Cain had helped me every step of the way. He was my supporter, sounding board, and of course, he’d installed all of the security—at his expense.

  “All right, already. Enough with the mushy stuff. We’ve got work to do.” Anna strode towards us, clapping her hands.

  I grinned. “Good thing the head of Hope House is on top of things.” I’d given Anna the title she always should’ve had, and she was thriving here.

  “They’ve been doing this all morning,” my brother groused as he trailed behind Anna.

  Cain handed Preston the cake he held. “You could always stay at a hotel.”

  “Boys,” I warned, holding up a hand.

  “Holy shit!” Anna grabbed my hand. “You’re engaged?!” She pulled me in for a hard hug before I could answer. “Oh my God. Congratulations! Of course, he’d put a monster rock on your finger.”

  I laughed. “Thank you.”

  “I’m so glad you got your happy, girl.”

  “Me, too.”

  “What’s going on?” Jensen called as she crossed the parking lot, hand to her swollen belly, trailed by Tuck and Noah.

  “Cain put a ring on it,” Anna called.

  “What?!” Jensen shrieked. “Taylor, Tessa, hurry up! Our girl’s engaged!” She started speed-walking.

  “Wilder,” Tuck warned. “Slow down.”

  “Oh, calm down. The baby’s not going to just pop out.”

  I stifled a laugh as Jensen pulled me in for a hug. This pregnancy had her snapping at Tuck a little more than usual. “You’re going to give the man a heart attack.”

  “He needs to relax.” She pulled out my hand to examine the ring and grinned. Her gaze flicked up to Cain. “You do good work. Why am I not surprised?”

  The next few hours were spent doling out congratulatory hugs, setting up for our grand opening, and finally seeing the space I’d worked so hard on come to life. By the time the doors opened, I was exhausted. Cain grabbed my hand and tugged me outside, leading me towards an Adirondack chair in the shade and pulling me into his lap. “Time for you to take a break.”

  “But I—”

  “Nope. No arguments. You’ve been going flat-out for the past week with all the last-minute prep. Sit back and soak it all in.”

  I eased back against Cain. He was right. I didn’t want to miss the joy of the moment because I was too busy running around trying to make it all perfect. I sighed as the summer breeze ruffled my hair and carried with it the sounds of laughter and happy shouts.

  I’d decided that a carnival setup would be the perfect way to bring people to the center, to make it a place that was fun and welcoming, not scary or just a place of charity. I wanted this to be a place where everyone felt welcome, no matter who they were or where they came from. It had worked like a charm.

  My gaze caught on Walker and Taylor, their son toddling between them, holding onto each of their hands. The way they met each other’s gazes over his head, I wouldn’t be surprised if number two followed shortly behind.

  Kids ran from one ride to the other, pausing to stare up at the Ferris wheel that reached high into the sky. Liam had Tessa wrapped in his arms, his hands resting on her belly that was just starting to show. They had one at home, but she was now expecting twins, much to Liam’s delight. Tessa had always wanted a big family, and he was determined to give her one.

  Tessa reached up a hand to wave at Noah, who bounded over, parents, grandparents, and great-grandmother in tow, pointing up at the ride. “Hell no, Wilder.” Tuck’s voice carried on the wind as he stalked behind Jensen. “You are too pregnant to go on that thing.”

  Jensen whirled on him. “Are you saying I’m fat?”

  “Boy,” Irma said with a shake of her head, “did someone hit you with the stupid stick this morning?”

  “Oh, shit,” Cain whispered in my ear. “He’s in for it now.”

  Tuck’s mouth opened and closed a few times before words came out. “Of course, not. I—”

  Jensen’s hands whipped out and grabbed Tuck’s arms. “Uh-oh.”

  “What do you mean, uh-oh?”

  Jensen glanced down at the ground and then back at Tuck. “I think my water just broke.”

  I got to my feet, Cain hot on my heels.

  “Your water just broke?” Tuck’s eyes widened. “You’re having the baby now?” She nodded. “Shit! We have to go. I have the bag in the car, and we need the pre-filled paperwork. I have that in the—”

  Jensen pulled Tuck to her in a swift move, silencing him with a kiss. “We’re going to have a baby.”

  Tuck framed her face in his hands. “Love you, Wilder.”

  “I love you, too.”

  I twined Cain’s fingers with mine. “You guys are really sweet and stuff, but I’m thinking your water breaking means it’s time to hit the road.”

  Tuck jolted. “She’s right. We have to go.”

  Irma beamed at them both. “I’ll gather up the rest of the hooligans. You two get going.”

  I grinned. “I just have to tell Anna what’s going on, and then we’ll head to the hospital.”

  Jensen shook her head. “No, Kenz, this is your big day. You can’t leave.”

  I wrapped my arms around J and whispered in her ear. “You are my closest friend in the world. You made me feel safe when it felt like the whole world was against me. If you think I’m missing you bringing this baby into the world, this little one has pickled your brain.”

  She sniffled. “I love you, Kenz.”

  “Love you, too, J.”

  “We gotta go. Now.” Tuck tugged on Jensen, breaking our hold.

  “We’ll be right behind you.” I turned to Cain and leaped on him. Thankfully, he caught me. I brushed the hair back from his face and pressed my mouth to his in a searing kiss. I pulled away slightly breathless. “Today is the best day of my life.”

  Cain’s smile was soft, that adoring one he wore only for me. “The first of many best days, baby. The first of many.”

  THE END

  Looking for another small-town romance series from Catherine Cowles? Be sure to check out Reckless Memories, a second chance, friends to lovers story set on a small island in the Pacific Northwest. Available for purchase by tapping HERE.

  Bonus Scene

  Want a little peek into Cain and Kennedy’s life a few years from now? By signing up for my newsletter, you’ll get this bonus scene. Plus, you’ll be the first to see cover reveals, excerpts from upcoming releases, exclusive news, and have access to giveaways found nowhere else. Sign up for the bonus scene by going to the link below.

  https://www.subscribepage.com/BBCbonus

  Enjoy This Book?

  You can make a huge difference in Beautifully Broken Control’s book life!

  Reviews encourage other readers to try out a book. They are critically important to getting the word out about a novel and mean the world to every author.

  I’d love your help in sharing Beautifully Broken Control with the world. If you could take a quick moment to leave a review on your favorite book site, I would be forever grateful. It can be as short as you like. You can do that on your preferred
retailer, Goodreads, or BookBub. Even better? All three! Just copy and paste that baby!

  Email me a link to your review at catherine@catherinecowles.com so I can be sure to thank you. You’re the best!

  Acknowledgments

  Now, to my very favorite part…the acknowledgments. Since you’ve read Kennedy and Cain’s story, you might have guessed that I have a thing for gratitude. I love shouting out to the universe just how much I have to be thankful for. And with each book, there are a whole lot of people to appreciate. Here we go…

  The first thank you always goes to my mom. She gave me my insatiable love for books and is my biggest supporter. Thank you for everything, Mom!

  Writing can be lonely at times, but the internet can be a beautiful place. If you’re lucky, you’ll meet some of the most amazing women you can imagine. Those who encourage, share wisdom, and generally keep you from rocking in a corner when things get tough. Thank you to all the wonderful authors who have been supportive in every way possible. An extra special thank you to Meghan, Emma, and Grahame…I’m so grateful to have you in my life!

  To my fearless beta readers: Angela, Emily, Ryan, and Trisha, thank you for reading this book in its roughest form and helping me to make it the best it could possibly be!

  The crew that helps bring my words to life and gets them out into the world is pretty darn epic. Susan and Chelle, thank you for your editing wisdom and helping to guide my path. Julie and Janice, for catching all my errors, both big and small. Hang, thank you for creating the perfect cover for this story. Stacey, for making my paperbacks sparkle. Becca, for creating trailers that give me chills. And my team at Social Butterfly: Jenn, Sarah, Shan, and Brooke, thank you for believing in me and working so hard to get my books into as many hands as possible.