by Brook Wilder
I was proud of her.
Alice had also seemed to grow more comfortable with each shot, so much so that I thought I’d heard her groan when I told her our time was up. I would take her back, again and again too, as often as I could, to ensure that she could protect herself.
She turned into her mom’s room, and I followed her.
I was surprised to find Jack seated at Cheryl’s bedside, her hand in his. Cheryl still remained on the breathing machine, but the report I had gotten from Fox said that she was making strides in her healing, and the doctors anticipated that they would pull the tube and wake her up in another day or so.
Still, it had to be hard to see her this way.
“Alice,” Jack said, giving me the eye before looking away. “I was just talking with your mom.”
“What are you doing here?” Alice replied, walking over to the other side, away from her father. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
I hung back at the doorway, crossing my arms over my chest, remaining close enough should Alice need me. I had no intentions of leaving her alone, father or no father.
To my surprise, Jack shook his head.
“I really don’t know, Alice, I really don’t. Your mom and I… We haven’t spoken about our relationship in years, but I can’t stay away. I have to know that she’s going to be okay.”
Alice’s face softened as she touched her mother’s arm, grasping the other hand in her own.
“I can understand that.”
Jack released Cheryl’s hand, and I could have sworn I saw him blinking back tears.
“I wish things were different. I wish she wasn’t sick.”
“We all have wishes,” Alice said softly, as she straightened the covers on the bed. “But none of us can change the past.”
“No,” Jack said, more to himself than to Alice. “We can’t.” He cleared his throat. “I wouldn’t change the fact that we were together, if that’s what you are thinking.”
“Tell me about your relationship,” Alice asked.
Jack started, and I shifted my stance, waiting for the moment he would tell her to change the subject and move on.
But he didn’t, and I found myself just as intrigued as Alice.
“She was a gorgeous woman,” he started, looking at the woman in the bed. “Still is. I was struck by her immediately, even fighting some asshole that night that touched her ass.”
Alice chuckled, and I frowned, wondering if I would have done the same had someone done that to Alice. Hell, now I could relate to the older fucker even more.
Jack shifted in his chair, his hand still clasping Cheryl’s.
“She was a spitfire, and we had some real good times, she and I. But it wasn’t meant to be forever. I had just taken over the club, and your mom… Well, she wanted to settle down. I wasn’t ready. We fought, and I didn’t see her for months.”
He looked over at Alice.
“Until I ran into her at some store or something, I can’t remember. She was pregnant with you.”
“What did you say?” Alice asked hesitantly, looking at her father.
Jack hung his head.
“I was pissed off, asked her if it was mine, and she slugged me for asking.”
I shook my head then, imagining the frail woman in that bed hitting Jack. That would have been something I would have paid to watch.
“Why didn’t you ever come around?” Alice asked after a moment.
I could hear the pain in her voice and wanted to end this conversation but knew she would hate me if I did. While I didn’t want her to hurt, I knew she needed to know why she was just now having a relationship with her father, and Jack was the only one that could answer her questions.
“Because,” Jack said with a heavy sigh. “Your mom didn’t want me there. She didn’t want you to be swept up in my life like this, potentially putting you and her in danger, and I couldn’t fight that.” He chuckled. “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I did come by a few times, when you were asleep. Your mom would let me peek in on you.”
I saw the look on Alice’s face and couldn’t help but grin myself. That hadn’t been the only reason he had visited, I would imagine. Huh! I wonder what Sarah thought about her husband’s side piece. Knowing her, she had taken it in her stride.
“But,” Jack continued, rubbing his thumb over the back of Cheryl’s hand before finally releasing it and standing. “There was never once in my life that I regretted getting her pregnant. You are the apple of her eye, Alice, and Cheryl is damn proud about what you have accomplished in your own life. Hell, I can’t believe I have such a smart daughter.”
Alice made a small sound, as he walked around the bed, heading toward me and the doorway.
“I hope that we can maybe sit down one day over a meal and learn some more about each other.”
“I would like that,” Alice said softly, her eyes on her father.
Jack nodded.
“Me too.”
I pushed away from the doorframe as he moved near, the soft look on his face hardening as he met my eyes.
“You keep them safe, you hear?”
“I will do my best,” I said.
He gave me a nod and exited the room, his whistle echoing down the hall.
I turned my eyes back to Alice, who was fussing over her mom, already moving on to the real reason we had come. For a moment, I just watched her, wondering what I would do if we had the same thing happen. I wasn’t using any sort of protection with her and hadn’t asked if she was on the pill. What would I say if she came up pregnant? I hadn’t been one of those guys who had thought about having kids, imagining that I would be running the bar and being on the outside of the club for the rest of my days.
Hell, I hadn’t even thought I would live past a few years, given my line of work.
But now, the thought of Alice’s body ripening with my kid, her stomach swelling with each month, gave me pause. It wouldn’t be such a bad thing, and if it did happen, I would be moving us all away from the club, the Cazadores, and anyone else that would threaten that happiness.
And to hold my kid, one that was part me, part Alice… That feeling I couldn’t even imagine. I would be more than just a fly-by-night dad.
As I watched Alice, I knew I would marry her in a minute if she was pregnant. I wouldn’t have our relationship be what Jack and Cheryl’s had been, nor would I want another man raising my kid. I would want to be there for every milestone, every sickness.
Rubbing a hand over my face, I pushed the thoughts away for now. Alice was the first woman who had made me think these thoughts, the first one who I would even be remotely interested in having that sort of future with.
I couldn’t lose her. The thought sickened me. I had been short with her today, the exhaustion of not sleeping starting to wear heavily on me. I would need a week of sleep to catch up.
But it wasn’t just the exhaustion. I was scared shitless that something was going to happen to tear us apart. Long after Alice had gone to bed the previous night, I had stood at the doorway, watching her sleep. It had taken all I had to not climb in the bed with her – if nothing else, to hold her tightly and breathe in her scent.
If I had, I knew it wouldn’t have stopped with that. I wanted Alice so fucking badly I could taste it.
Damn, this shit was difficult.
**
After another fast-food run, Alice and I got back to the apartment late afternoon, the weather sweltering.
“God it’s hot,” she remarked, as we climbed the steps to my apartment. “I can’t wait to be in the air conditioning.”
“Me neither,” I admitted.
Our conversation up until then had been strained, unable to work outside of what was going on with us or with her mom. I was looking forward to a quiet night with Alice, where I could explain my damn attitude and maybe get some sleep for us both.
But as we approached the door, I noticed that it wasn’t pulled all the way shut as we had left it. Sticking out
my arm, I stopped Alice.
“Wait.”
“What is it?” she asked softly, sensing danger.
I pushed her behind me, pulling my gun from its holster.
“If I say run, you run, Alice. Alright?”
“Derrek…” she started, fear in her voice, as I inched toward the door.
I had hoped that my apartment would be a safehouse of sorts, but apparently I had been wrong about it. I toed the door with my boot and eased it open, my gun trained on the opening. I was expecting a hail of gunfire at any moment, knowing I wouldn’t be able to hold them off even with my duffel bag full of guns and ammo.
I just hoped it would be enough to give Alice enough time to run.
When nothing happened, I slid inside the apartment, letting out a breath as I saw who my ‘visitor’ was.
“Shit, Andrew! I about blew your fucking head off.”
Andrew was standing in the kitchen, his hands in his pockets, his eyes red.
“Sorry man. I guess I forgot to close it.”
I turned back and motioned for Alice to come in, shutting the door this time.
“Alice, this is my stupid-ass friend, Andrew.”
“Hi,” Alice said, as I set the duffel bag on the floor.
“Derrek,” Andrew said, catching my attention. “I’m not here to visit. I’m here to take your place.”
I froze, looking at my friend.
“What?”
He shrugged.
“Jack sent me over. Sorry man.”
I swallowed. Jack must have picked up on something at the hospital today and wanted to put some distance between me and his daughter. I couldn’t blame him, of course. I would do the same thing.
“What?” Alice asked, her gaze going from Andrew to me. “What is he talking about?”
I picked up the bag again, resting it against my shoulder.
“She stays here. It’s safer here than anywhere else in this damn town.”
“Alright,” Andrew said with a shrug. “I’ll – um – I’ll give you a moment.”
I waited until Andrew was out of the apartment before I turned to Alice, dread rolling in my gut. I debated on bucking Jack’s declaration but knew that the distance would probably do us some good. Andrew could at least handle Alice, and I would ask for additional guards whenever they went out. But having them in my apartment was some comfort to me.
“I got to go.”
“Go?” she echoed. “I don’t understand.”
My hands itched to reach out and touch her.
“I’ve been replaced,” I said flatly, keeping my hands to myself. “Andrew will watch over you here. and if there’s anything you need, you can call me or Fox, and we will make it happen.”
“You’re leaving?” she asked, her eyes widening. “But you can’t leave!”
Shit!
“I have to,” I tried again, keeping my voice calm even though I was raging inside, not wanting to leave at all. “Jack knows what’s best.”
“No, he doesn’t!” she said, stamping her foot. “He barely knows me, and he certainly hasn’t earned the title of my father.”
I reached out, gripping her upper arms lightly.
“But he is over the club, and he’s making the calls here. I have to go Alice.”
Her eyes crowded with tears.
“I don’t want you to leave! Please don’t leave me!”
My chest caved in, and I let her go, grabbing her hand instead.
“Come with me.”
She let out a sob as I led her to the bedroom, going to the drawer that held all my weapons.
“Here,” I said, pulling open the drawer. “Here are all my guns. If something happens, you start firing and don’t stop until they no longer move, Alice.”
“I can’t do this,” she said as I reached into the drawer and pulled out a small revolver I knew she could handle. Turning toward Alice, I handed it to her.
“Here, tuck this in your pocket at all times.”
“Derrek,” she said brokenly, taking the gun. “Please.”
“I have to,” I grated out, stepping away. “Just stay here, out of sight, alright?”
She followed me to the door, the gun still in her hands. My hand rested on the doorknob before I decided that I couldn’t leave like this and turned back to Alice.
Her cheeks were stained with tears, and I swallowed hard, finding this to be the hardest damn thing I had ever done.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly, sliding my hand behind her head and forcing her to look at me. “I’m sorry for everything.”
She let out a sob, and I roughly pressed my lips to hers, unable to help it.
God, I was leaving part of me behind.
“I’ll be back as soon as they let me,” I whispered against her lips before pulling away.
There was so much left unsaid between us, so much I needed to say, but I couldn’t, not right now.
“Derrek,” she said, as I pulled open the door and forced myself to step out.
Andrew was waiting just outside, his hands still in his pockets, and I stopped, making sure he met my eyes.
“Nothing happens to her. If something does, you won’t have to worry about Jack, because I will fucking kill you myself.”
His eyes widened.
“Dude, it’s me.”
“I know,” I said, my voice thick with emotion. “But that woman in there… She’s everything, you understand?”
It was taking all I had to walk away at this moment, and as soon as I found Jack, I was going to let him in on the fact that I was in love with his daughter.
Then, there would be nothing standing between me and Alice.
“Got it,” Andrew stammered. “She will be safe with me, I promise.”
I gave him a nod. “I’ll be at the shop then.”
My da had a shop that I sometimes used to work on my bike, which was in sore need of a tune up.
“You call if you need something.”
He nodded, and I stalked off, my stomach churning with each step.
Alice wouldn’t understand now, but she would soon.
I just hoped nothing happened until then.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Alice
The next morning, I awoke with a heavy heart, the previous day’s events still attempting to tear me apart.
Derrek had left me. He had walked away, when he had promised to protect me and my mom, and left me with a sullen man who was too quiet for my own liking and who didn’t look like he could protect me any better than I could myself. I didn’t understand the reasoning, nor did I understand why Derrek wouldn’t go against Jack’s word after all he had told me.
I needed him, not Andrew.
Still, I threw aside the covers and climbed out of his bed. I was wearing one of his t-shirts as a nightgown. My sleep had been rough, and I still felt groggy from the pill I had taken just to get a few hours in.
I was, however, going to start a new chapter in my life. I wasn’t going to hide in this apartment any longer. I wanted to go see my mom. I wanted to go to the library and prepare for my papers that were due in, like, three days.
I hoped to run into Derrek somewhere, to see that he was just as miserable as I was.
Well at least he wasn’t surrounded by constant reminders like I was.
Wasting no time, I got dressed and grabbed my backpack, checking to make sure that everything I would need for a long study day at the library was in there. Maybe I could stay there all day, not having to be in the presence of Andrew until it was absolutely necessary. It wasn’t that he was a bad guy. In fact, he hadn’t said two words to me since Derrek had left. He had played with his phone and watched TV until he had fallen asleep.
I had retreated to the bedroom, keeping the gun that Derrek had given me close by in my pocket, where it was right now as well. While Derrek trusted this guy, I wasn’t so sure that I could right now.
But I would have to talk him into letting me go out this morning.
