by Ruth Kaufman
As she’d been at court for Adrian, so was he here for her now, seated beside her. She was glad he’d come, but wished they could be comfortable with each other again. He’d said nothing about her confession yesterday. Most unsettling. She didn’t have the courage to raise the topic again.
“I am pleased to report that your tallies match mine. Your father’s wishes have been met by a small margin. Congratulations.” He handed her a document, but tears blurred her eyes so she couldn’t read the words.
She’d done it. Though she’d felt a sense of accomplishment with each completed window, the satisfaction coursing through her now ran deeper.
Adrian opened his arms, and she received his hug. She wouldn’t let anything spoil this moment. “Thank you, Master Petty, for keeping track of my revenues. I look forward to producing many more windows under the auspices of the guild.”
As they walked out of the hall into the bright sunshine, Adrian said, “Now both of us have achieved our goals.”
Joanna squinted, using her hand to block the sun as she looked at him. “Have we?”
When they arrived home, Adrian handed her a small silver box.
“Open it.”
“Thank you. It’s beautiful.” Joanna put her papers on the table, then took the elaborately carved box. She stared at the raised, entwined flowers and leaves, knowing she’d have loved the box were it ugly and empty because it came from Adrian. This was his first gift to her and she wanted to savor the moment.
He shifted nervously from foot to foot, almost like an eager boy. A tentative smile tugged at his lips. “Well?”
The promise of what lay inside set her heart to racing. A wedding ring? Even a slim, plain band would do. She yearned for a symbol of their union.
Joanna raised the lid. The box contained torn pieces of parchment. The best gift of all. Adrian had shredded their agreement.
She burst into tears. No more rules, restrictions or secrets. Theirs would be a true marriage at last.
Sudden dread gripped her. What if his gift meant the opposite of what she most desired? What if he was setting her free, releasing her from their mutual obligations, instead of showing her that he cared for her?
Tears teetered on her eyelids as if uncertain whether they’d become tears of happiness or grief. She gripped the box so hard the metal foliage bit into her palms. Her throat went dry. She strained to swallow. “What does this mean?”
“It means I want to free us of the constraints we willingly agreed to. The contract was the right approach when we married. But things have changed.”
Joanna clutched the box against her chest. What was he saying?
“I didn’t think I’d come to care for you as I have, that I’d want to share myself with you. And that even more, I’d need you to care for me in return.” He cleared his throat, then continued. “I never thought I deserved it. For who would love me as I am?
“You said you loved me. You covered your admission up admirably, and I know why. Because I said nothing in return. I’m so sorry, and want to make it up to you. As best I can, I want to make up for all the sorrow you’ve suffered because of me.”
He dropped to one knee, and spread his arms. He looked like a chivalrous knight from a romantic tale sung by a troubadour, so handsome and sincere. “I am honored and amazed that you’ve stood by me, despite all I’ve put you through. That you could accept me knowing everything I am means more to me than you’ll ever know.” He took her hand. “I never thought I’d say these words, much less mean them. I love you, Joanna.”
She dropped to her knees and threw herself into his arms, much as she had the day he returned from prison.
Adrian loved her. She’d never been happier.
He held her face in his hands as he said, “Being with you has shown me things about myself that at first I didn’t want to accept. I thought I had to be without flaws to be loved. But I learned if you can give love, you are worthy of having it yourself.
“I spent so many years pursuing redemption for my family, restoring our family name and honor. Who can say what honor is? As many do, I once thought it was what others thought of you. How you fit into the world. Are you a noble or a peasant? I’ve learned if you can accept the things you can’t change, you can live with honor.
“We shall keep this box always, to remind us of where we’ve been. From now on, I want us to be more than we thought we could be when we began. I want to be your lover and your friend. I want a true marriage. Do you?” he asked. “Tell me that you do.”
Tears of relief and happiness spilled down her cheeks. “I do. With all my heart. I’ve wanted so to tell you how I felt, but between our agreement and not knowing whether you returned my feelings I—”
He smiled his incredible smile and bent toward her. “You showed me every day. It just took me a while to see.”
Her heart filled with joy as he kissed her tenderly, then more deeply as desire took over. She felt the familiar tingling spread from her core.
How she loved him.
Moments later he broke the kiss, but held her close against the evidence of his passion. Despite the barrier of their clothes, her need awakened.
“This time we’ll do things right. Margery and Thomas must attend, and we’ll invite Warwick. And your clients and guild members, if you’d like.” He fairly bubbled with enthusiasm.
“What are you talking about?”
He pulled her to her feet and swung her about in a circle. “I want to marry you all over again. In a true wedding, with feasting and dancing and merriment. I want to celebrate our love.” He paused, a serious expression replacing his smile. His eyes glowed with the intensity that she loved. “Until that day arrives, I want you to know that I take you for my wife.”
Joanna couldn’t believe her ears. To many, just his speaking those words aloud, even without a priest or witnesses, created a valid marriage. He had just bound himself to her and pledged to do so yet again.
She’d only wanted to hear him say he loved her, but in true Adrian fashion he had taken her desires several steps further by taking action. The shredded agreement, his vow and plans for a second wedding showed her more than words alone ever could that he loved her.
“One thing more.” Adrian reached into the purse on his belt and pulled out a gold band. He slid it onto her finger, then kissed it.
Only once before had she felt this complete: the first time they had made love. Her heart felt light, as if freed from chains. She could tell him now, without fear of recrimination or rejection. She’d say the words every day from this day forward, for herself and because he needed to hear them.
“I love you, Adrian. I take you as you are for my husband, now and forever. I will marry you all over again.”
She sealed their vows with a lingering kiss. The desire she’d tamped down for weeks rushed back with full force.
“I have missed you,” he said, trailing hot kisses down her neck.
“And I you,” she answered. “We’re so fortunate, to have so much.”
“Yes,” he whispered as he pulled her close. “We are fortunate, but have worked hard to get where we are. But there is still one thing we lack.”
“That would be?” Maintaining coherent conversation grew increasingly difficult as his hands worked their magic on her. She wanted to stop talking and start kissing.
“Our heir,” he said with a smile of delicious promise.
She returned his smile. “Ah, yes. I suggest we begin working on that right away.”
And they did.
Epilogue
Joanna and Adrian stood under the vast, vaulted ceilings of York Minster. Multiple glorious stained glass windows attested to the creativity of glaziers over hundreds of years and to the generosity of their patrons. From the circular Rose Window to the elaborate grisaille of the Five Sisters lancet windows and the great west window with its heart-shaped tracery, Joanna never came here without feeling awe for the majesty and incredible beauty of the windows. Just as s
he knew she’d never stop appreciating the wonder of her life. She had so much to be thankful for, more than she ever dreamed.
“Which is your favorite?” Adrian asked.
Since the shredding of their agreement, he’d asked dozens of questions about her past and her interests, and she’d done the same. She enjoyed getting to know him as much as she enjoyed their physical closeness.
“The east window. It’s the largest, but that isn’t why I like it the most. Come this way,” she said.
They walked hand in hand toward the pointed arched window. Each time she saw it, she was overcome by its width, height and complexity. “This window shows the history of the world from beginning to end. There are a hundred and forty-three saints, prophets and the like depicted. At the very top, it says ‘Ego Sum Alpha et Omega’. I am the Beginning and the End.”
Adrian smiled at his wife. He’d been to the Minster dozens of times, but had never seen its true glory until he saw it through her eyes. Of course he’d admired the windows, but never really noticed their elaborate designs and myriad details until her enthusiasm made him appreciate their splendor. She’d opened his eyes to many things, and the companionship they shared made him love her all the more.
Here, in front of her favorite window, he had news to share.
“I have something to tell you,” he said. “I wanted to be sure before I said anything. But I’ve suspected for few months.”
“Suspected what?”
He looked around to make sure no one was close enough to hear. “I haven’t had any more visions.”
She looked at him in surprise. “Can visions simply go away?”
“Time will tell. The last one I had was just before I realized I loved you.” That ghastly vision of Joanna with the sword in her back.
A shiver coursed through him, followed by an incredible sensation of serenity. He knew his grandmother was finally at peace. As he was.
And why his visions had stopped. Because he was in love.
Daylight streamed through the stained glass windows, bathing Joanna in multiple luminescent colors, reminding him of the first time he’d seen her. Lately, she looked even more like a Madonna from a painting than she had then. Every day, he thanked God for giving her to him.
She rested her hands on her rounded abdomen, as he’d noticed her doing often in recent weeks. Her eyes widened, and she drew in a long breath.
“Here,” she said, taking his hand and placing it where hers had been.
Adrian felt their baby kick. He knew that a silly, proud smile lit his face as their child moved inside his wife, beneath his fingers.
He didn’t know why he was so blessed, so fortunate. He had Joanna, his new estates, and would soon have the heir he so desired. If their child had the Sight, they’d find a way to make his or her life far easier than his had been. And he’d know what to tell him or her to make the visions stop.
He would tell his child, “Follow your heart.”
Praise for Ruth Kaufman’s At His Command
Wars of the Roses Brides Book 1
http://amzn.com/B00QPG561Q
A wonderful debut sure to please lovers of romance!
—NYT & USA Today bestselling author Madeline Hunter
With a bold knight and a strong-willed lady, Kaufman’s story is positively medieval.
—NYT & USA Today bestselling author Tracy Anne Warren
If a book lingers in my mind for more than two weeks, then I say the author has certainly deserved to be put on my keeper shelf.
—Bookworm2bookworm
Visit www.ruthkaufman.com for information about Ruth's other books.
Author’s Note
Dear Reader,
Thank you for reading Follow Your Heart. I hope you enjoyed sharing Joanna’s and Adrian’s journey as much as I did writing it. I loved researching details about 15th century England glazenwrights, their studios and their designs. The Internet is an amazing resource, but many historical details I needed can only be found in books. Maybe Joanna’s half-sister Margery needs her story told?
I did my best to be as historically accurate as possible and to reflect the views of people living in 15th century England, whether or not those views are shared today. Even in modern times, some people have difficulty accepting and/or respecting those with beliefs different from theirs.
I’d appreciate feedback on what you liked and even what you didn’t. You can contact me at [email protected] and learn more about me and my writing at www.ruthkaufman.com. To learn about future books and important news, please sign up for my newsletter on my home page at www.ruthkaufman.com. If you’d like to follow me, I’m on Facebook at Ruth Kaufman Author & Actress and Twitter: @RuthKaufman.
If you’re so inclined, I’d appreciate a review of Follow Your Heart. My Amazon author page is http://www.amazon.com/author/ruthkaufman. My Goodreads page is https://www.goodreads.com/ruth_kaufman (if you’re typing, it’s ruth_kaufman).
About the Author
Ruth Kaufman is a Chicago author, on-camera and voiceover talent and freelance editor and speaker with a J.D. and a Master’s in Radio/TV. She loves peanut butter and chocolate milkshakes, singing in a symphony chorus and going to the theatre.
Writing accolades include Romance Writers of America® 2011 Golden Heart® winner and runner up in RT Book Reviews’ national American Title II contest.
She’s appeared in indie features, short films, web series and national and local TV commercials, and has voiced hundreds of explainer videos, e-learning courses, commercials and assorted characters.
Learn more at www.ruthkaufman.com and www.ruthtalks.com. Follow her on Twitter: @RuthKaufman or Facebook: Ruth Kaufman Author & Actress.
Copyright © 2015 Ruth Kaufman
ISBN 978-0-9908469-4-9 digital
ISBN 978-0-9908469-5-6 print
All rights reserved. No part or the whole of this book may be used or reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any manner now known or hereafter invented without the prior written permission of Ruth Kaufman, except for brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews.
Names, characters, places and incidents are fictional or are used fictitiously and are solely the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
Cover Art by The Killion Group, Inc.
Digital Formatting by Author E.M.S.
Contact: www.ruthkaufman.com
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Epilogue
Praise for At His Command
Author’s Note
About the Author
Copyright
