by Kahlen Aymes
My mind was working on how I'd surprise her like she did me. It was only a week away, and it couldn't come soon enough. I'd call Ethan and have him arrange a night out on the 31st and invite the gang, including Brook then I could just show up. It would be brilliant... I couldn't wait. Only six days. Just six days. I could live through that.
MY PHONE RANG as I packed my suitcase for my impromptu trip to New York to see Joan Jett after her New Year's concert. Finally, she was going to make time to meet with me, and not too soon either.
"Hey Babe." I knew I was breathless.
"Hey, yourself. What are you doing, you sound all out of breath." His voice was happy and relaxed.
“It's so good to hear that sexy voice. I miss you. I'm packing my suitcase."
Silence followed for a good three seconds. "Why?"
"Oh, I'm finally going to meet with that new director. Jeanne finally got me some time after his premiere in New York tonight. I’m in trouble because I don’t even remember his flipping name."
"But... Brook, it's New Year's Eve. I thought you were going out with the gang?"
"Yeah, I wanted to, but this has to take priority. They'll get over it if I don't go."
His voice seemed stilted. "Ugh!"
"Cade, what's wrong? What is it?"
He let out his breath in a big rush.
"What happened?"
"What happened is that I'm coming to L.A. to be with you tonight, and you won't bloody be there!"
My heart stopped in my chest then plummeted to the pit of my stomach as elation rushed only to be followed close behind by sheer disappointment. "Shit, Cade, I'm so sorry! You know I'd love to see you, but I can't miss this. I have to go. Where are you now? "
"I'm on the plane, sitting on the runway at Heathrow right now. Fuck, Brook!" he retorted.
I took a deep breath as I sank down on my bed searching for words that would comfort him. "I'm coming right back in the morning. Can't we be together then? Do you want to meet at my parent’s house?”
"No. I had Denise get me a flat. I told you I was going to do that." He was so upset and I wanted to alleviate it in any way I could.
"Babe... that's so great! I'm so excited! I never expected you to do that this soon."
He didn't answer me.
"Cade, I know you're still there, I can hear you breathing." I tried to make my voice lighthearted and teasing, but it wasn't easy. "Text me the address and I'll come straight there from the airport tomorrow, okay? I'll let you know when I leave New York and I won't stay one minute longer than necessary, I promise."
Again; the silence.
"Cade?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry! I'm just so bloody disappointed. I'm so anxious to get my hands on you, and I wanted to surprise you. Now it’s ruined!"
"It was sweet and I appreciate it. I’ve been missing you so much, but it's only one more day and you can go out with the gang instead of me, then Ethan won't be upset I’m not there."
"Ethan is already expecting me. They're meeting me to help me load in the furniture that Denise ordered for me. We're setting everything up." He sounded so freaking annoyed.
"Cade, you know I need this part or else I'll go insane next summer while you're in New York filming without me."
"Hmmmph. “ He huffed. “I'm sorry, my love. I don't mean to be selfish. I just miss you."
"Well... maybe I love it if you're selfish when it comes to me. I love you, but I have to go. I'll call you from New York, okay?
"Okay... just so you won't be shocked when you see me, I cut my hair."
"What? You mean, you trimmed it, right?"
"No. I feel bloody bald."
"Oh my God, is it that short?" I was speechless. Did he mean like a crew cut?
"No, Brook. Relax. I just wanted a change and we have two months before we begin filming, there is plenty of time to grow it back." He was amused at my astonishment.
"Is there still enough for me to pull on when you make love to me?" I lowered my voice into the phone. “I know you love that.”
He audibly groaned. "No, the girl got a little carried away. There's a little. I'll pull yours instead for a while." I could finally hear the smile in his voice. “I love you.”
"Love you more, but I gotta go. Don't forget to think about me at Midnight, and no kissing strange women!"
"Can I kiss the not-so-strange ones?" I knew he was teasing and I was glad he was in a better mood.
I played along, enthusiastically. "No! All your kisses belong to me. I’ll miss you tonight.
"You, too. Talk to you soon, love. Bye."
AS I WAITED at the premiere after party with Jeanne at my side, all I could think about was Cade in L.A. and his voice on the phone earlier filled with all the fucking disappointment. I thought about how I would’ve felt if I'd made the trip to London for Christmas only to have him not be there when I arrived.
Fuck. What the hell am I even doing here? The movie I’d just been forced to sit through was boring, so I wondered what the hell was so great about this director, but I kept my mouth shut.
I looked around at the chaos backstage and ran my hand through my hair. I felt an overwhelming need to get on a plane back to Los Angeles to be with Cade. I'd never make Midnight at this point, but I knew I wanted to get to him. Now.
The music was loud and a lot of conversations were being shouted above the noise. I stuffed a finger in my ear so I could hear myself talk and then leaned into Jeanne.
"I gotta go. I'll have to come back tomorrow to see this guy... unless can we talk to him at all now?"
"No!" I could hardly hear her, even though she was shouting, but I could tell by her expression and the adamant shakes of her head that she wasn’t happy with me. I didn’t care.
"I said... I have to go!"
"Brook, are you nuts? He’s right over there. We’ll have his attention in the next couple of hours.”
I inwardly groaned. Two hours! "He obviously doesn’t care if he talks to me. He’s looked over here and seen us waiting at least four times. I can’t wait anymore, part or no part. I have to get back to L.A. tonight."
A stunned look crossed Jeanne's features and she shook her head. "For what?"
"Cade came to L.A. to surprise me for New Year's and I have to get back to him!"
"Brook, he'll understand. You need to do this. Now!"
I ran my hand through my hair again and looked around. I knew she was right, but fuck if I cared.
"You might lose this part, Brook! Think about what you're doing!" Jeanne's features were strained and angry. "Ken and I busted our asses to get you an audition!!"
"What audition? This is an audition for an audition, Jeanne! Please understand and let me reschedule. I'll fly right back tomorrow, or can you just go interrupt him?"
She looked taken aback and pissed off, a red flush forming under her skin. “Yeah that would be awesome and sure to endure me to him!”
“Please?” I pleaded. “This is our first New Years!”
Jeanne sighed heavily. “Okay, wait here. I'll try." Jeanne was shaking her head at me, "Shit, Brook. You're killing me!"
Ten minutes later she came back to talk to me.
"Okay, his wife is here and she’s starting to rock and roll, so you can talk to him but it's short, so you'll only have a minute or two. He suggested you wait for him by the entrance and he’ll meet you there. And Brook... don't fuck this up. If he doesn't agree to reschedule, you stay here. Deal?" I nodded. “And don’t forget his name. Patrick Armstrong! Got it?”
My heart fell. It should sound reasonable, but I was itching to leave. I bit my lip and nodded. "Got it. I promise!"
I got my coat and then stood by the door and waited. It seemed like an eternity until he and finally the middle aged man Jeanne had pointed out finally came toward me. He was distinguished looking except for the unkempt iron-grey beard that didn’t exactly go with the tux he was wearing.
"Hello Mr. Armstrong, I'm Brooklyn Halloway. Do you have second to sp
eak to me?"
"Yeah, I know who you are kid. Your manager said you have an emergency and need to reschedule? Are you serious about this part or not?"
"Yes, sir, I am, but I've got a little problem. I have to be back in L.A. and I was wondering if you’d have time tomorrow or the next day or two. I'm really very sorry, and I will stay if you can't reschedule, but this is extremely important to me."
He paused and looked me over. "It must be important if you’d fly back to L.A. now and back to New York tomorrow. It’s nuts, if you ask me. Martin Deering has great things to say about you."
I felt a rush of adrenaline at the prospect of two well-known Hollywood directors discussing me. “That’s a great compliment. I’m so sorry about this!”
"Is this a relationship thing?" He smiled at me before he took a drink from the tumbler of some sort of amber liquor he was holding.
I flushed guiltily. "Um, yeah. Someone came to L.A. to surprise me from a very long distance and I just found out today that you wanted to talk to me tonight. Needless to say, it was a huge disappointment to him."
"It wouldn't be the British man who's in the film with you, would it?" His brows raised knowingly and her mouth quirked. “My daughter’s about your age and she’s all about the boys.”
"Um...” I was taken off guard. “No one is supposed to know, but yes. I think you're so incredible and I love the script. I really, really want this part, but he was so upset that I just had to ask." I bit my lip as I looked urgently up at him.
He nodded toward the door. "Yeah, go ahead kid. I like your passion, but get your ass back here by tomorrow evening, okay? It's my last day off before I go to Europe for more of the premiere tour."
My face lit up and I hugged him, then stepped back when I realized what I was doing. "Oh, I’m sorry! Thank you. I promise I'll be back. I'll have my manager find out where you want to meet up with me. She'll be staying in New York tonight, so she can set it up."
"Get going." He didn't have to tell me twice as I flew out the door.
ETHAN, JENNIFER AND Dawson were all with me at Drai’s, a popular nightclub in Los Angeles where celebrities could go and not be bothered. The security was high and so it was one of the only places that I felt I could go and not get mobbed. There were still a few times when I was asked for autographs throughout the evening, but finally we found a table in the corner without any traffic around it.
The music was loud, the lights were flashing and giving me a headache. I wasn't even really there, and I was drinking way too much, but fuck, my heart was broken when my plan to surprise Brooklyn fell to shit. Jennifer and Dawson were sticking to each other like glue and I was jealous as hell because I was alone.
Ethan just made the rounds and was a total party animal. Always laughing and making jokes, he tried many times to get me into a better mood, but I just kept to myself and continued to order Crown Royal on the rocks, and downed them like they were water. I hoped that maybe eventually the boorishness of the evening would fade and even better, that the evening would come to an end and it would be tomorrow sooner.
Earlier that day, they guys came over to help me unpack all of the furniture and get it somewhat in order. Wendy stopped over, too, and I wondered how in the hell she knew I was in town or how she got my address. The furniture was delivered the day before and rather than have the delivery people set the bed up in the wrong place, I instructed Denise to have them leave it in pieces, but when we started to put it together it was discovered there were no screws. I had to go get some and Wendy hopped in the new navy blue Mercedes to tell me where to go.
I knew in my gut that it was a fucking bad idea, but I didn't give a shit about anything in that moment. She acted normal and didn't try to come on to me, so I hoped maybe she and I could get back to some sort of friendship. After all, we had to work together in two months, and I didn't want any awkwardness, especially around Brook.
Wendy was Brook’s friend long before I met either of them and I didn't want to be the cause of a break in their relationship. As long as Wendy respected my boundaries and didn't antagonize Brook, I was willing to be cordial to her.
Unfortunately, there were paparazzi waiting. How in the hell does that always happen, and, at a hardware store of all places?
It was completely innocent but I knew I'd have to explain the pictures to Brooklyn, but that she'd understand. She knew how Wendy was always looking for a photo op and the papz always knew where she was and when. It was just too convenient to be a coincidence. Jesus... it was messed up.
Sitting at the table, my head fuzzy, I realized it was about 11:45 and I longed to be with Brook. New Year's Eve... our first one, and we weren't together.
Bloody hell!
That's when I saw Wendy. She moved through the crowd toward me with a determined look on her face and a drink in her hand.
"Hey, Cade. How are you doing? Are you having a good time?"
"Not at all. Will there be another photo op tonight, Wendy, because if so, I will fucking lose it."
"I don't know what you mean." She smiled coyly at me. Her tits were totally hanging out of her dress, the bodice so tight it was ready to burst.
“Of course not,” I said in disgust. I turned away from her and took another drink from my glass.
Ethan was on the other side of me and I felt Wendy touching my thigh, rubbing her hand closer and closer to my crotch.
"Wendy, stop. I thought we could be friends, but you can't leave me the fuck alone."
I grabbed her wrist and removed her hand from my leg. "Fucking stop!"
She leaned into me and I pulled away again. "Cade.” She leaned in closer, her voice seductive despite the din of the place, and I could feel the heat of her breath on my neck. “Brook isn't here. She's with David. She's still with David, so why are you resisting me?"
Brook was not with David. Of this I was certain.
She ran her hand down the back of my head and pressed her breasts into my arm.
I slammed my drink and turned toward her one last time. "It's Midnight Cade. Kiss me." She put her arm around my neck and tried to pull my head toward hers. I shoved her from me with more force then I meant to and she stumbled back.
"Get the fuck off me, Wendy!! I'm in love with Brook, okay?" I yelled right into her face, unconcerned with where I was or that I was in public. "How many bloody times do I have to tell you that?" I ran a hand through my hair in exasperation.
The expression on her face looked like I'd slapped her.
Good. Maybe she'll finally get a fucking clue.
I ordered another drink from the bartender and took Ethan by the shoulders, manually moving him next to Wendy.
"You and I are trading places, man. Keep that bitch off of me. I'm bloody begging you."
Ethan turned toward Wendy, but she was already storming out of the bar.
Thank you, Jesus. I sighed in relief.
I sat back in my chair and resumed my love affair with the whiskey in my glass.
THE CAB PULLED up to the curb in front of Cade's new apartment in a secluded neighborhood of West Hollywood. It was inconspicuous and not very celebrity-like, which was so like Cade. I jumped out; the excitement flowing through like a river as I threw some money at the driver.
“Thanks!”
My skin was flushed and my heart was pumping. He’d sent me a text a couple of hours back and I couldn’t wait to surprise him like he’d planned on surprising me.
Happy New Year, my one and only love... I miss you and wish you were here
Well, here I am, babe, I thought.
It was 2:10 AM, and so I hoped that Cade would be home from the club the gang had gone to, though he might not be. If not, I'd text him and tell him he had a surprise waiting for him.
I found the apartment and could hear soft music coming from within as I knocked. I was fidgeting and looking around the hallway, but excited because apparently he was still awake. It wasn't anything expensive or ostentatious, but that was right up Cade's alle
y. He would want to blend in and just be normal, which suited me as well. Maybe then we'd get some time to ourselves without the stalkers.
The door finally opened and I turned toward it with a big smile on my face, which quickly faded. My heart fell to my feet and my breath left my chest in a big whoosh.
"Well, well, well... if it isn't little Miss Halloway." Wendy was standing wrapped in Cade's comforter from his bed and nothing else. My heart began to beat so fast and I could feel the blood rush to my face as heat flooded under my skin. I felt sick to my stomach. "What are you doing here, Brook? Cade said you were in New York."
I struggled to speak; I couldn't breathe, I couldn't feel my legs. I could feel myself crumbling, and my heart exploding into a million pieces.
I stumbled back from the doorway like I'd been shoved, "I... I need to talk to Cade." Tears were welling in my eyes and I couldn't see anything but a watery blur of color. "Now, Wendy."
"Isn't it a little late for best friends to come calling? He can't come to the door now. He's sleeping. Poor thing, I completely wore him out, but he was so fantastic. My legs are still shaking." Her expression got hard and mean as she stared at me. She had to know by looking at me I was completely devastated. “You didn’t think you’d be able to keep a man like Cade satisfied, did you? Get real, Brook.”
My whole body was shaking as I struggled for breath. "But... "
"I'll tell him you were here," she laughed wickedly as she shut the door in my face.
I dropped to my knees right there as I fought for breath, I couldn't move as the silent sobs racked my chest. I don't know how long I huddled there, hunched over my knees as the pain ripped through me.
Dear God... please no. No, Cade! My mind screamed as my heart burned.
Tears poured from my eyes as the sobs continued in silence until finally I pulled in a tortured breath. This was pain unlike anything I'd ever experienced, slicing through my body like a white-hot knife.
I didn't care if I died; in fact I wanted to. Anything to stop this unbearable ache the throbbed through me like a living thing.
