by Rose Nickol
Would Jin be reasonable? Paul and some of his contacts had put her in touch with some attorneys that were licensed in both countries, and she had filed for divorce. Jin was due to receive the papers in a few days, if he hadn’t already, and Nicole wasn’t sure she was ready for the fallout from that.
Paul had assured her she would be able to handle anything that happened, but she wasn’t sure. She was stressed to her limit.
“Tell me you have more than that,” Darrall replied to Monty’s statement.
Monty grinned and nodded. “I managed to track our stalker as he left Nicole’s apartment. He’s good, but I’m better. It took several hours and a couple of pizzas, but I managed to trace him to the rental car shop.”
“So, we know who he is?” Nicole asked, sitting up and finally feeling like they were getting somewhere.
“We know who he isn’t,” Monty replied, turning the computer so that everyone could see the screen.
They were meeting at the safe house and didn’t have the high-tech equipment that had been available at the Trident offices. That didn’t slow Monty down any though.
“How does that help us?” Nicole was even more confused.
Before Monty could answer, her phone rang. She excused herself to take the call and moved into her bedroom.
“Hello,” she answered the phone looking at the display.
“Well played, Nicole,” Jin said in answer.
“What do you want, Jin?” she said with a sigh in her voice.
“Very well played. Don’t think you have the upper hand. The paperwork I sent you may not be valid, but it still shows that I initiated this process. Don’t think you will take my son away from me so quickly.”
Nicole sat on the bed and stared at the phone. She hated having to go through these conversations over the phone.
Now she was starting to get mad. “Doesn’t feel so good now that the shoe is on the other foot, does it? Now you know how I feel. Only I didn’t have any warning, did I? I came home one day to find out you’d taken my world away from me. Everything I ever loved was gone. How does it feel, Jin?”
There was silence on the other end of the phone. Nicole waited a minute to see if he would say anything.
“Jin… I don’t want to do this. I want to work something out. I don’t want it this way. Work with me. Let’s sit down together. I’ll pay for an arbitrator, someone who can help us negotiate. I want to work something out.”
Jin cut in. “You’ll pay for someone who will give you what you want.”
Nicole sighed again. “Jin, you can pick the person. It doesn’t have to be this way. I want to be able to see my son. I want you to be able to spend time with him and see him grow. Can’t we work something out.”
She heard Jin say something to someone in the room, then he came back to her. “Nicole… I’m sorry it has to be this way. There is no way you’re getting the boy back. He’s in the best place for him.” Then, he hung up the phone.
Nicole looked at her phone. Her first instinct was to throw it across the room. That wouldn’t help anything, though. She sat down on the bed and started crying.
She was so tired. She drew her legs up and curled up on the bed. Maybe if she just slept for a few. She’d been lying down for a few minutes when she heard a soft knock on the door. Maybe if she ignored it, they would go away.
A few seconds later, another knock, this time louder. Nicole grabbed the pillow and pulled it over her head. “Go away,” she said softly, more to herself than whoever was at the door. She didn’t want to deal with anyone right now.
“Nicole,” she heard Paul say as the door opened.
“Go away,” she said again, a little louder this time.
“Nicole, Monty’s waiting to finish the briefing,” Paul said, sitting on the side of the bed and turning her towards him.
“I don’t care. Just leave me alone,” Nicole said, crying.
Paul lifted her into his arms, holding her while she cried.
“Shh, shush,” he murmured as she sobbed.
“We’ll be out in a few,” he said to someone over her as he continued to rock her. He didn’t say anything, just continued holding her and rubbing her back, letting her cry it out.
They sat quietly while she cried, and he rocked her. Nicole wasn’t sure how long it had been when she finally stopped and pushed to a sitting position.
“Hi,” Paul said quietly, and smiled the most beautiful smile at her.
“Hi,” she said back. “Thank you. You didn’t have to…”
“Don’t worry about it. This has been building up for a while. You want to talk about what topped you off, or is it too soon?” Paul helped her sit fully on his lap. He kept one arm around her as he reached with the other one to grab a box of tissues from the bedside table.
“Thanks,” she said, taking the box from him and trying to undo some of the damage to her face.
He took a tissue and held it to her nose, “blow.”
“I can…” Nicole started.
“Blow. I do this for my nieces and nephews. You’re no different. Blow.”
Nicole let out a foghorn blow and blushed.
“Better?” he asked, taking the tissues from her and throwing the used ones into the trash container beside the bed.
“Yeah. Thanks again,” she said, gazing up into his dark coffee-brown eyes.
“Do you think you want to go back and listen to what Monty’s been able to figure out, or should I go and fill you in later?”
“I really don’t feel like facing anyone. Will you go?” Nicole moved off of his lap and put her face in her hands.
“You don’t need to be embarrassed. None of the guys will care. And sure, I’ll fill you in when you are feeling better. Just promise me you’re not going to sit in here crying and feeling sorry for yourself.?” He pulled her hands away from her face so he could see into her eyes.
“I can’t promise, but I’ll try. I want to try and rest. I’m so tired.” She almost started crying again, but wasn’t going to in front of him.
Paul stared at her a minute longer. “Do you want me to stay with you?”
“No,” she answered, shaking her head. “I’ll be fine. Come fill me in later. I’m going to try and nap.”
He nodded. “Go wash your face.”
Nicole stood and went into the attached bathroom. After splashing some cold water on her face, she felt a little better.
Paul was still sitting on the side of the bed when she came back. “Lie down,” he instructed her. He stood and pulled back the top blanket. When she lay on the bed, he pulled it back over her. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “I’ll be right outside if you need me.”
Nicole nodded, curling up into a ball and clutching one pillow. She closed her eyes and listened as he left the room and shut the door.
12
Paul stood outside the door to Nicole’s room, wondering if he should leave her. Darrall came up beside him. “Is she okay?”
Paul followed him out to the living room, before he answered. “She’s having a tough time. I’m not sure what set her off. She wasn’t ready to talk about it, but I’ll find out later.”
Darrall nodded and they sat down to listen to Monty finish the briefing.
It was hard for Paul to pay attention to Monty as his mind was on Nicole. She’d been so strong. This was the first time he’d seen her break down in the few weeks he’d known her.
Since they’d been spending more time together in the safe house, they’d shared a lot about each other, and found out they had several things in common. He was falling hard and fast. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to leave her when the time came, but knew she was planning on going back to her life when she got her son back.
He should be preparing her for the fact that it might not happen, but he couldn’t break her heart like that. He wasn’t going to let her down. He’d find his way to China and kidnap the boy if he had to, in order to get him back to her. He wasn’t goin
g to let her down.
He needed to pay attention if he was going to be able to tell her what Monty had or had not found later.
He ran one hand through his hair and focused on the briefing. He needed to get his shit together.
Nicole closed her eyes and wished sleep would come. If she could only escape for an hour, turn her mind off and let her body relax. She hadn’t been sleeping much since she’d got the paperwork from Jin saying he was divorcing her. She’d been so relieved when she’d found out that none of it was legal.
It seemed like that didn’t matter now. Jin was still going to fight her. She might never see Clifton again. With that thought, the waterworks broke again, and she began sobbing once more. What was she going to do?
She must have cried herself to sleep because when she woke, it was dark out and the house was quiet. Where was everyone?
She stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom, thinking a quick shower would help her wake up and be ready to face people again.
After she finished her shower she put on some sweats, though the days were warm, sometimes it could get cool after dark, even in Tampa, and she wanted something warm and comfortable to wear.
She opened her door and the house remained quiet. Usually, there was some type of noise. Whichever one of the men that was assigned to stay with her would be watching television, or if it was Monty, she would hear him clicking away on his keyboard. Something, but she heard nothing. There was a lone light on in the living room, so she ventured forth.
Paul was sitting in the recliner reading with one light on beside him. He looked up as she entered the room.
“Hi,” he said as he marked his place in the book and set it on the table beside him.
“Hi. Did everyone else leave?” she asked, glancing around.
“Yeah. Darrall and Monty had some work to do at the hotel. J.T. and Hammer are outside.”
J. T. and Hammer? Have I met them?” Between the names and the monikers, she was never sure who he was talking about.
“They were at our initial meeting. I’ll reintroduce you when they come in for coffee later.” Paul stood and walked over to her.
He pulled her into his arms and held her. It had been a couple of days since the day he’d taken her on the couch. Since then he’d been distant and professional. Nicole had started to wonder if he regretted what had happened.
He hadn’t said anything about it, and neither had she. It felt good to be in his arms again. She didn’t know what, if anything, was going to come of it, but she couldn’t seem to help herself when it came to him.
It had taken all the self-discipline she could muster to keep from sneaking into his bed the last two nights. It was a good thing there were usually others around. Maybe that was why he’d been so distant. Maybe there was a no fraternizing rule or something.
She let her head rest on his shoulder and closed her eyes. In his arms, everything seemed easier to manage. She knew as long as he was around, she’d be able to cope. She didn’t want to think about what was going to happen when this was all over.
He guided her to the couch. “Feel like talking yet?”
Nicole sat and nodded her head. She slowly told him about Jin’s phone call and all the fears she now had. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t want to lose my son, but a boy needs his father too.” She bit her lip to keep from crying.
“I don’t know how, but I know everything will work out. You need to have faith. Whatever is meant to happen, will happen.” Paul pulled her into another hug.
“Are you hungry?” he asked, moving off the couch and heading for the kitchen.
“A little. What did you do?” she asked. They had been either ordering food and having one of the guys pick it up, or one of them would cook something.
“I was waiting for you. How about if I cook something for us tonight?”
“I can help.” Nicole followed him into the kitchen.
“Great. I can always use a sous chef. Here chop these,” he said, pulling a few vegetables out of the fridge. He handed her a cutting board and a knife. “Be careful with that. It’s really sharp.”
Nicole stood beside him at the counter and started slicing and dicing while he started stirring something in a wok.
“I didn’t know they had that kind of equipment here,” she said. While the house was nicely furnished, it didn’t seem to have a lot of extras.
“This is mine. I take it everywhere. Along with my knives.”
They worked in comfortable silence and Nicole could see a future with this man. She wasn’t even divorced from Jin. How could she be thinking this way so soon? If she let herself admit it, she’d known things were over with Jin long before he left, she just hadn’t wanted to face it.
She turned to see Paul watching her. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” she answered, trying to sound chipper and like everything was fine.
Paul continued to stare at her and she could tell he wasn’t falling for it.
“Do you want me to go out and see if the guys outside want to come in and eat?” she asked, heading for the door.
Paul grabbed her arm pulling her back so quickly that she fell into him.
“No!” he said, then eased his grip on her. He pulled her back into the kitchen. “Whoever is stalking you is still out there, and you aren’t to leave this house without one of us with you. Try that again and I’ll take you over my knee.”
“You wouldn’t, would you?” Nicole didn’t know whether she was hopeful or what.
“Oh yeah, baby, in a heartbeat,” Paul answered, his voice deep and sexy.
Nicole felt her lady bits begin to respond immediately. Her brain went offline and the only vocalization she could make was, “Oh.”
He turned the stove off and caged her against the counter. “Nicole. I’m a Dominant. Do you know what that means?”
Nicole pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and nodded.
He looked at her. “Verbal answers please.”
“You like to be in charge?” She lowered her eyes without thinking about what she was doing. The way he was staring at her was so intense that her toes curled.
“That’s correct, but there’s more... so much more.” He gazed down at her a minute longer, then went back to the stove. “We’ll talk more about this after we eat. Josh and Trace are good and will remain at their posts until relieved. Set the table for the two of us.”
Nicole busied herself doing as she’d been asked. She knew there was always at least one man outside, but often the person that went for food would come in and eat with them. She hadn’t thought about her safety when she’d suggested inviting the other men. Now that she thought about it, the few times one of them had cooked before, whoever was with her had texted or phoned the others asking if they wanted to join them. Now she knew why.
Dinner was good, but quiet. Paul ate his food, but didn’t say much, and neither did she. The conversation they had started hung over both of them like a fog.
Nicole finished her dinner and rose to clear the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher. After she finished, she looked at Paul. “I’m still tired. I think I’ll go to my room.”
Paul had been helping clean everything up and turned to her. “Do you want to do that, or do you want to finish our discussion?”
Nicole turned her eyes wide. “You want to talk?”
“I think we need to.”
13
Paul shut off the kitchen light and guided her to the sofa. He sat down and pulled her onto his lap. He wanted her close to be able to gauge her reactions to what he was going to say.
“As I told you in the kitchen, I’m a Dominant. Have you heard of that? Do you know what it means?”
He lifted her face from where she’d been staring down at her hands so he could see her eyes.
“I’ve read some and did some research. It means you like to be in charge, at least in the bedroom.”
“Yes, but it’s more than that. It’s something
I have to have. I need to be in control. All the time. In the bedroom and more. I won’t be bossy, but I like things my way and get cranky when they are not. I’ll value and listen to other’s opinions, but if I feel my way is the best that’s the way it’s going to be.”
Nicole bit her bottom lip and gazed deep into his eyes. She could see how important this was to him. “What if I’m a Dominant too?”
Paul smiled before he answered. “Oh, honey. You’re not. I knew the first time I saw you that you were submissive. What do you think that means?”
“That I bow to others and give in?”
“No. A submissive holds the power in a relationship. More so in a BDSM relationship. Have you heard of BDSM?”
“I’ve read a little about it.”
“Fiction or non-fiction?”
“Both. When I first started reading fiction books about it. I did some research and started reading anything I could find.”
“Did you read anything about the submissive holding all the power?”
“I’m not sure I understand how that works.”
Paul moved her so that she was straddling his lap and staring right at him.
“The submissive controls things with her safe words. You have the power to stop anything at any time with your safe word. All you have to do is say that and everything ends.”
“But what if whoever I’m with doesn’t stop?”
“Then that’s abuse, not BDSM. Any Dominant worth the name will respect your limits. They may push them, but never beyond what you can tolerate. The main focus of most BDSM play is safe, sane and consensual. If both parties don’t consent to what is happening it should stop immediately. I’ve seen Doms or tops stop a scene when they don’t think the sub or bottom is halting the situation like they should.
“A good Dom doesn’t want to hurt their sub. They are focused on the pleasure of both parties. Someone in pain isn’t having any pleasure. When it’s no longer fun for both parties, it needs to stop.
“Do you know what a safe word is?”
“A word you pick that wouldn’t normally be used in conversation.”
