“Am I?” A storm surged in his eyes, gone almost black in the dimness of the barn.
Then his lips claimed hers.
Panic descended on her, a torrential downpour. This couldn’t happen. It couldn’t. She pushed at his chest.
Three heartbeats later a fog of desire moved in. The fight slowly drained away.
His lips were so warm, so strong and capable. Her arms slid around him, her fingers forked through his hair.
At her response, his kiss grew more urgent, and she felt months of need building inside her. Years of need. No one had ever taken Travis’s place in her heart. How could she give him up again? She couldn’t. Not when she had a choice. She wanted him now, forever.
He lifted her from her feet. Her body pressed against the warm length of his. She was scarcely aware of moving, and then she was lowered onto a bed of fresh-smelling straw.
Travis broke the kiss, and she heard herself whimper. She didn’t want to open her eyes. She was afraid of what she’d see. Don’t leave me. Oh, God, don’t let him leave me now.
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. His breaths came quickly, bathing her with warmth. His heart thudded against her side.
She opened her eyes. He was a heartbeat away, his eyes as serious as she’d ever seen them. The clouds were gone, and in their place were all the things she needed from him.
“Shay . . . ,” he whispered.
She didn’t want to talk. Talk would ruin the spell that had wound itself around them.
“Shh.” She pulled him closer and toyed with his lips. His breath caught, and the heady feeling that assuaged her took her own breath away.
He pulled back and looked at her. “I love you, Shay.”
Something swelled inside her, big and powerful. Her own declaration clawed for release and caught like a rock in her throat.
“If you don’t hear anything else, hear that,” he said. And then his lips were on hers again, and she was floating in a sea of rapture.
29
Consciousness slowly claimed Shay. She felt warm and snug, as if she were wrapped in a cozy cocoon. She didn’t want to open her eyes, didn’t want to check the time. Dawn would arrive soon enough, if it hadn’t already.
Her body felt like liquid, languid and relaxed. The mattress was warm and soft against her belly. Her arm was under her pillow, and her leg was entwined with another.
Her eyelids fluttered open.
Travis stared back from the pillow beside her.
“ ’Morning,” he said.
She sucked in a breath and clutched the sheet to her chest. The night before came rushing back. The kiss, the stall, her clothes . . . where were they?
Heat flushed her face even as something stirred in the pit of her belly. “What are you doing?” she croaked.
“Watching you sleep.” His voice was deep and raspy. Dawn’s light leaked through the sheers, bathing the planes of his face. He looked so peaceful. At ease.
What they’d done last night was beautiful and perfectly permissible. They were married, after all. He was her husband.
She relaxed into the softness of the bed, unclenched the bedding from her fist. She stared into his eyes, soaking in some of his peace.
“If I’m dreaming, don’t wake me,” he whispered.
She felt like she was dreaming too. But she wasn’t. This was real. He was here, in her bed, looking at her with forever in his eyes. A touch of panic swept through her.
He touched her hair and came away with a piece of straw.
She remembered last night. His hands, soft and capable. The look in his eyes, the sound of his voice whispering things in her ear. Things she’d never heard from any man, things she knew she’d replay in her mind a million times.
The panic drained away, replaced by something else. Contentment? Yes, she felt strangely content to stay here with him all day.
But she had responsibilities. Hungry livestock.
She sighed. “What time is it?”
He brushed the hair from her face and trailed his thumb along her jaw. “Chore time, unfortunately.”
She wished they had a little time. Just an hour or so. She had little doubt what they’d do with that hour. At the thought, gooseflesh pebbled her skin.
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Talk later?”
“Mm-hmm.”
He pushed himself upright and left the bed. Shay turned her face into the pillow, suddenly shy. A moment later the shower kicked on.
She got out of bed and slipped into her warm terry robe. Her body felt sluggish and achy as she entered the kitchen and started the coffee. A few minutes later she filled two thermoses, adding cream to her own.
She carried hers to the living room window and sipped the hot brew, looking out over the fresh white landscape, her thoughts churning. What did last night mean? He’d told her he loved her so many times.
And she loved him too. She wasn’t so stubborn she couldn’t admit it, though she hadn’t verbalized it. He had to know. She’d never have made love to him if she didn’t.
What now, God? I took a step of faith, but I’m not sure the ground is stable.
“It snowed.” He slipped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest.
Shay leaned back and folded her arms around his. The clouds on the horizon had brightened. Fingers of periwinkle and pink stretched across the sky.
“Pretty,” she said.
He kissed her temple. “Beautiful.”
He smelled good, all musky and clean. And way too distracting. “Better get my shower.” She turned, but he didn’t let go. He pulled her closer and kissed her softly.
“Stay here,” he said. “I got the chores.”
It was tempting to stay inside, all warm and cozy. But they’d get it done faster, the two of them. “I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
“Run a bath. Have a long, hot soak. You work too hard.”
On the other hand, a bath sounded heavenly, and he was offering so nicely. “If you insist.”
“I do.” He gave her one last kiss before tugging on his boots and coat and hat. The wind blew a chill through the room before he could shut the door. Shay watched him through the window, wonder swelling inside at the sight of him, her mouth lifting in a smile.
30
Travis would’ve been in heaven that week if it weren’t for the secret he’d been keeping. He had to tell Shay about the rodeo. He needed to leave the day their arrangement officially ended if he was going to make it to Vegas in time to practice with Seth.
Four nights ago had been the beginning of everything he’d dreamed. The way Shay had surrendered made his heart race. She loved him. Maybe she hadn’t said the words, but she’d said it in other ways. If she trusted him with her body, she trusted him with her heart.
But with his departure only three days away now, he had to tell her soon. Like today.
She’d understand. Now that he thought about it, he was sure of it. They’d worked so well together all week. The looks she’d tossed his way made it hard to concentrate on work. Each night after Olivia fell asleep, he’d curled up with Shay in the warmth of her bed and shown her how much he loved her.
He looked forward to being alone with her tonight. But first he had to check on his parents’ ranch. He’d bring back the wedding band he’d been waiting to give her, and then, after supper, he’d tell her about the rodeo. They’d laugh about how nervous he’d been, then he’d present her with the ring.
He entered the kitchen where Shay was cooking. “I’m gonna go check on the Barr M.”
He wanted to gather her in his arms right now, but Olivia was at the table doing homework. They were trying to take it slow.
Shay looked up from the skillet. “I’ll keep things warm,” she said with a secret glimmer in her eyes.
“Can I ride along?” Olivia asked.
He pulled his eyes from Shay. “Homework done?”
“Yep!” She closed her book and stuffed it into her book bag. “Just finished.�
��
“All right with you, Mom?” Travis asked.
“Yep.”
“Mind if I take yours? I’m on E.”
“Keys are on the peg.”
“Thanks.” Travis went for the keys, then rooted through the junk on his table. “Anyone seen my cell? I haven’t seen it since yesterday.” He’d missed it all day, that lump in his pocket.
“You could call it,” Olivia said.
“It’ll have to wait. I wanna get back before supper’s cold.”
“You check the barn?” Shay called from the kitchen. “Third stall on the left?”
Travis smothered a smile, remembering their return to the third stall the day before. He peeked into the kitchen. “Maybe you can help me look there later.”
Shay hiked a brow. “Maybe I can.”
The smile she put on his face carried him out the door.
“Buckle up,” he told Olivia when she got in the passenger side. He put the truck in gear and headed down the lane. “How’s school going? You get that project turned in?”
“Yeah, we did. School’s okay, I guess. I’m ready for Thanksgiving break, though.”
“And then Christmas right after that.” The realization that he’d be there for the holidays buoyed his spirits. He nudged Olivia playfully. “How’re things on the boy front?”
She groaned. “Boys stink!” She turned an innocent look on him. “Except you, of course.”
“Oh yeah, of course.”
Olivia bared her braces. “How old were you and Mom when you met?”
“Your mom and I went to school together from the time we were little. Barely knew each other, though. We hung in different crowds.”
“How’d you get together?”
Travis smiled, remembering. “Well, after the summer of our sophomore year, I was walking through the hall and saw this tall, stunning girl—from the back, see, so I didn’t recognize her. Thought she was a new student. ’Bout that time, your mom, she turns around, and I saw who it was.”
He’d felt like lightning had struck. Shay had grown a good four inches over the summer, and her face had matured. She had a tan that set off her green eyes and a mysterious smile that kicked him in the gut.
“What happened next?”
He chuckled. “Well, she turned and saw me gawking, so I looked away and walked right past her.”
“You chickened out.”
“Guess I did.”
“Did you ask her out?”
“For a while we just kept making eye contact. Over our books in study hall, across the cafeteria, down the hallway. Then another girl started flirting with me a lot, and I guess your mom thought I liked her. She wouldn’t look at me after that.”
“What’d you do?”
“Rode over to her house and asked her out.”
“Just like that?”
Actually, they’d exchanged words in her folks’ barn. It had escalated, passion sparking a fire the way it always did with Shay. In a fit of anger, she’d dared him to kiss her, thinking he wouldn’t, thinking he really cared for Marla.
Boy, had she been wrong.
He smiled. “Just like that.” Nothing he loved more than thinking about Shay. What a long journey they’d had.
“Why didn’t you marry her back then, when you ran off together?”
He shook his head. “Well, squirt, I let another dream get in the way. Never stopped loving your mom, though. Not for a minute.” He turned into his parents’ drive. “I regretted it soon after, but by then your mom was married. I thought I’d lost her for good.”
“Were you crushed?”
He traded a smile with Olivia. “Sure was. But God brought us back together, didn’t He? ’Sides”—he winked at her—“if I hadn’t left, there wouldn’t be you. And you, kiddo, were meant to be.” He ruffled her hair and watched her duck her head.
Travis guided the truck down the lane, then pulled up to the house. “Gotta go grab some bills and stuff. You can run to the barn if you want. Bitsy had her pups a couple weeks ago.” He turned the key and exited the truck.
“Cool.” Olivia hopped out her side and started for the barn.
“Meet me back here in twenty,” he called, shutting the door.
“ ’Kay, Dad!”
He froze, the title catching him right in the gut. He watched her disappear into the barn, a smile of wonder lifting his mouth.
Shay added salt to the pasta, lowered the heat, and set the timer. The past week with Travis had been different from all the weeks before. The glances, filled with meaning, the not-so-accidental touches . . . not to mention the necking in the barn when the chores were done.
She waved her hand in front of her face. It wasn’t the steam that flushed her skin. She stirred the ground beef, unable to wipe the silly grin off her face. That an accidental wedding had morphed into a full-fledged marriage was just . . . amazing. That Travis was back in her life, loving her, was nothing short of miraculous.
She’d looked at him numerous times that week with wonder. My husband. Travis McCoy is my husband. He’d asked what she was thinking when she looked at him like that.
“Nothing,” she’d say, smiling each time. A little mystery never hurt anyone.
Shay gave the beef a final stir and turned the heat down before setting the table. She was laying down the napkins when she heard a buzzing.
Travis’s cell. She followed the sound, moving quickly. In the living room. No, in her bedroom. She walked around the bed. Under the bed? No, under the damp towel lying on the floor.
She picked up the phone, glad she’d found it for him. The screen was lit, and a text stared back.
Miss u, T! Only 3 more days. Can’t wait 2 see u! XXOO Ella
An ache bloomed inside her.
Ella? The woman from Texas? Three more days? What did that mean? Was she coming here? Shay set her hand on her chest where her heart kicked against her ribs.
She looked at the text again. Hugs and kisses? She wandered into the living room and dropped the phone on the sofa, wanting it out of her hand. What was going on? Maybe there was a rational explanation.
But how else could she take the message? Friends didn’t use Xs and Os. And she said she missed him. That she was going to see him in three days. Three days would be . . . Monday.
The day their arrangement ended.
Shay’s stomach twisted into a hard knot. It couldn’t be true. Everything he’d said this week, it couldn’t all be lies.
But what else could it be? Why else would he be seeing this woman the very day their arrangement ended? Why else would he be in contact with someone who signed her notes with Xs and Os?
He’s leaving.
The realization hit her with sudden surety. He wasn’t even sticking around a single extra day.
The memory of the jewelry package flashed in her mind like a beacon. He’d bought jewelry, all right. It just hadn’t been for her. He’d bought it for Ella, whatever it was.
What have I done? Oh, dear Lord, what have I done? She palmed her forehead. She was such a ninny! She’d fallen for it all, hook, line, and sinker. When was she going to learn?
Why had Travis done this? Why had he lured her into bed just before he reunited with his lover?
It doesn’t matter why, Shay. What matters is that you fell for it again. Fell for him, head over heels. You’ve made a fool of yourself all over again.
She sank onto the sofa, remembered it was where he slept. Used to sleep, she reminded herself. She leapt to her feet again. She was in love with him. Hadn’t she admitted it to herself just this week? And if that wasn’t enough to convince her, this terrible ache in her midsection was proof enough.
The timer went off, and she went numbly to turn it off, setting everything to simmer. She returned to the living room, pacing like a caged cougar.
What now? What should I do, God?
She had to confront him. He had to leave, the sooner the better. If only she’d found out sooner, before she’d given her
self to him. What had felt beautiful and right before now only felt cheap and wrong. So wrong.
She crossed her arms over her stomach. How could he do it? How could he take her that way, shower her with words of love, when he had another woman in the wings? It didn’t make sense.
But then, did love ever make sense? Not for her, it hadn’t.
She remembered the way Travis had reacted to Beau, all jealous and possessive. She gave a wry laugh. Wasn’t that funny, when he’d been carrying on behind her back the whole time? Hadn’t Garrett been the same way? Accusing her of flirting with other men while he came on to the waitresses at the Chuckwagon?
Either she had the worst luck, or she was the worst judge of character this side of the Mississippi. She had a special talent for finding real winners.
And now she supposed an annulment was out of the question. They would have to get a divorce. Shay felt the sting of tears. Twice divorced! Unthinkable for a woman who believed so strongly in till-death-do-us-part.
She paced and thought and paced some more. She added sauce to the beef and gave it a stir.
By the time the truck rumbled up the drive, her legs were limp and wobbly. Buck up, Shay. You have to do this. Be brave. Get through supper, then you can confront him alone.
He’d know something was wrong. She wasn’t that good an actor, and he knew her too well. But he’d wait until they were alone to press her. She pulled in a deep breath and blew it out just as the front door flew open.
Olivia shut the door and pulled her boots off. “It’s cold out there!” She had flurries melting in her hair. “Travis said go ahead with supper. Your truck’s making a funny noise, and he’s checking it out.”
Shay hoped it took awhile. She got supper on the table and had Olivia say grace.
“I’m starving.” Olivia ladled sauce over her pasta. “Travis said it’s supposed to be colder than usual this winter. They use solar patterns to make the predictions, know that?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Travis said the almanac’s pretty accurate. He’s a good cowboy, don’tcha think, Mom?”
“Very good.”
“Jacob Whitehorse said Travis can rope like nobody’s business. I guess that’s why he did so good on the circuit, huh?”
Big Sky Romance Collection Page 41
