Lord, help her. Help me. I don’t know what to do with her. Haven’t I tried to keep her in line, tried to help her toward a successful future? And all for her to throw it away?
It was as if Sierra were twelve instead of twenty. But there was more at stake than pierced ears or a bad grade on an English test.
She tried Sierra’s phone, but it rang through to voice mail. She took a deep breath.
“Sierra, call me. Please. We need to talk.” She closed the phone and went back to pacing. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when she heard a car door slam.
Sierra! Thank God. She’d come back.
Annie ran to the front door and flung it open. But it wasn’t her sister jogging up the porch steps. It was Dylan. Her hopes shrank even as her heart fluttered beneath her ribs. She sank against the door frame as the adrenaline rush faded.
“Thought I might take a look at Sierra’s car yet tonight and see if—” Dylan pulled his hat. “What’s wrong?”
“Sierra . . . She just . . . Some cowboy took her and Ryder, and I don’t know where they went or who they’re with. And she’s quitting college.”
Dylan settled his hands on her shoulders. “Easy now, you’re shaking.”
Annie turned back into the house and Dylan followed, shutting the door.
Between the Luke debacle and the news Sierra had just spilled, she felt like their lives had spun out of control.
She palmed her cheeks and found them wet. “How did things become such a mess? I feel like someone lit a stick of dynamite under our lives.”
Dylan pulled her to the couch. “Come on, honey. Sit down, tell me what happened.”
Annie followed his lead, glad to let someone else take control for a change.
“First of all,” he said, “are they in danger? Do we need to call the sheriff?”
Annie shook her head. “I don’t know. She tried to leave and her car wouldn’t start. They were on the porch, she was mad at me, and I thought she was just blowing off steam, but then some truck showed up and took off with them.”
“Tell me exactly what happened. Did she get in willingly?”
Annie nodded. “I called for her to come back and asked if she even knew who that was, and she said to give her some credit.” Annie sniffled. “Then they were gone.”
“Okay, so she must’ve called the guy to come for her, right?”
Annie nodded.
“She must know him fairly well then. She’s a good mom. She wouldn’t put Ryder in jeopardy.”
“Not intentionally. But what if she doesn’t know him as well as she thinks?” Annie didn’t even want to think about what could happen. “If he were a local, I’d have recognized him. What if he’s just some drifter she doesn’t really know?”
“What did he look like?”
Annie shrugged. “I couldn’t see him through the windows. He wore a cowboy hat, maybe average sized?”
“That’s half the men in Park County. What about the truck?”
“It was a blue Dodge. Old, maybe an early ’90s model.”
“Doesn’t sound familiar.”
More tears leaked from her eyes. Dylan put his arm around her. “Come on, Annie, that doesn’t mean anything. Sierra’s the friendly sort, she knows a lot of people. It might be someone from college.”
That was true. She didn’t know many of Sierra’s college friends, since MSU was in Bozeman.
“How long ago did they leave?”
“Twenty minutes? Half an hour?”
“Maybe he took her to a friend’s house.”
“Bridgett!” Annie retrieved her phone and dialed. Bridgett answered in two rings. “Hey, Bridge, this is Annie. Is Sierra there?”
“Hi, Annie. No, not here. . .”
“Have you heard from her in the last half hour?”
“What’s going on?”
Annie filled her in. Bridgett didn’t know anyone with a truck of that description. Annie asked her to call if she heard from Sierra and closed the phone.
“No luck.” She clasped her trembling hands in her lap. What if that man did something to Sierra or Ryder?
Oh, God, I’ll never forgive myself. Why did I have to be so pushy? Please protect them and bring them home safely. Why had she let things escalate? She knew better.
Dylan turned her face toward his. He dashed away fresh tears with his thumbs. “Hey, now . . . they’ll be fine. Sierra’s a grown woman, and she called for the ride. I’m sure it’s a college friend or something.”
“But she was so mad . . .” Would Sierra do something foolish in her anger? She could be so impulsive.
“Want to talk about it?”
Annie filled him in on their argument. “She said I wasn’t her mom and she was sick of me trying to control her. I just want what’s best for her. Why can’t she see that?” Fresh tears surfaced and Annie covered her face.
“Aw, come here.” He drew her into his arms.
She turned her face into his chest and clutched his shirt. It felt so good to have his strong arms around her. To lean on someone else. Not just someone else. Dylan. She felt his fingers in her hair, and that felt good too.
“You have been a mom to her,” he whispered. “She was only sixteen when your grandpa died, and she was pregnant. She needed you.”
“I’ve done my best.” She sniffled. “I really have. I love her so much. Where did I go wrong?”
“You’ve done great.”
“But now I’ve lost her.”
“No, you haven’t. She’s just older, wants her independence. Maybe it’s time to let go a bit, let her make her own decisions. Every good parent has to let go at some point.”
His gentle tone made the unwanted words go down easier. “I failed my grandpa.”
“No, honey. You helped your sister get on her feet. Helped her raise her son. You’ve gone above and beyond. You can only do so much. At some point you have to let her spread her wings and fly.”
“But she flew straight into a stranger’s truck.”
She heard his low chuckle rumble through his chest. “You have to trust her, sugar. I’m sure it’s hard, but put her in God’s hands. He can handle her. My mom told me that when I left home, her prayer life increased exponentially.”
It wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but she couldn’t deny that Sierra was a legal adult. Somehow her sister had grown up right under her nose, and Annie had failed to notice.
Have I been holding on too tight, God? Is it time to turn her over to You?
One thing was sure. Her way wasn’t working. She’d pushed and prodded, and all she’d done was get Sierra’s back up. Sierra was the same age Annie had been when she’d taken Sierra into her home. Hadn’t Annie been capable of making her own decisions? So her sister was a little flighty, a little too much like their mother. That didn’t take away her right to be her own person, to make her own choices. Even if they weren’t always the wisest ones.
Annie drew in a breath, taking in the scent of musk and leather that was all Dylan. She became aware of his hand on her shoulder, caressing. Aware of the steady beat of his heart under her ear. It was rhythmic, hypnotizing.
She should pull away. Thank him for talking her off the ledge. But she couldn’t deny the urge to stay put.
Just a few more seconds wouldn’t hurt. She was only accepting his comfort, and it felt so good to be in his arms, to feel safe, protected, cared for. She closed her eyes and drew in another breath of him. His shirt felt soft against her cheek. It was damp with her tears, but he didn’t seem bothered that she’d sniveled all over him.
She loosened her hold on his shirt and smoothed it down. Against her ear his heart thumped faster at her touch.
“Annie . . .” Her name rumbled through his chest and sent a shiver down her spine. He tightened his arms around her, settled them back against the sofa, dropped a kiss on top of her head.
Chills raced down her arms at his touch and she burrowed in tighter. Sweet heaven. She wanted to sink into his embrace and forget
about the rest of the world awhile. He felt so good. So strong and solid.
He put his hand against her cheek. His palm was rough and cool against her heated face. His thumb moved lazily.
Then he pulled back.
Not yet. Just a little longer.
But instead of setting her away, he framed her face. His eyes caught and held hers. Brown, like melted chocolate, and as somber as she’d ever seen them. Something else was in there too, something deep and unfathomable, something mesmerizing.
He pulled her close and his lips closed over hers. They moved slowly, softly.
She melted into his arms, touched his face, felt the scrape of his jaw against her palm. Images flashed to her mind. Their last kiss, their playful interlude with the hose. The sight of him with baby Cody in his arms. The vulnerability on his face as he spoke of his lost love.
The images converged with the feelings his kiss provoked, building inside her. When he deepened the kiss, she hung on tight and went right with him, down under the surface.
“Annie . . . ,” he murmured between kisses.
The feel of her name on his lips was intoxicating.
“Annie. . .”
When he pulled away, it was only to kiss her closed eyes, her nose. Her heart pounded like a hundred mustangs running wild across her chest, and when she opened her eyes, she wanted to drown in those puppy dog eyes of his.
“Annie . . . I love you.”
The words pulled her toward the surface. Toward reality. It was all coming back now, trickling in . . .
Sierra and Ryder.
Luke.
And the secret she kept from Dylan.
What was she doing?
“I’ve been afraid,” he said. “Afraid to feel like this again. I’ve fought it hard, but I just can’t anymore. I finally found a woman worth risking my heart for, and she’s you, Annie.” His thumbs moved over her cheeks. “You do things to me no woman has ever done—”
“No, Dylan, don’t—”
He shook his head, and a lock of hair fell over his forehead. “I’m not just talking about chemistry. You stole my heart.” He smiled in that charming way of his, his eyes gleaming. “And I don’t want it back, Annie. You hear me? I don’t want it back.”
Her heart twisted. She shook her head, pulled away. “We can’t.”
He reached out, fingered a lock of her hair. “You care for me too, don’t deny it.”
The words might’ve struck her as cocky once upon a time. Now they just pricked her heart with their truth. She couldn’t, wouldn’t, lie to him. She was stuck. He’d held out his heart to her, and now she had to stomp all over it. Just like Merilee had done.
And the real zinger was . . . she loved him too. If she didn’t know it before this moment, she knew it now. She’d rather face a pit of rattlesnakes than break his heart.
“Annie?”
She looked away, unable to bear the confusion in his eyes. Down at her trembling fingers. “I can’t, Dylan. I’m so sorry . . .”
His hand closed over hers. “Is it . . . Are you afraid I can’t commit? Because I can, Annie. I know you haven’t seen that side of me, but I’m a loyal man.”
She shook her head. Even if he weren’t Ryder’s uncle, he would always be a cowboy. How many strikes could one man have against him? “It’s just . . . impossible between us.”
His hand moved over hers enticingly. Making her lose her train of thought, drawing her eyes back to his. He’d pull her right back in if she didn’t move and fast.
Annie stood and crossed the room.
“What do you mean, impossible?”
She opened her mouth, but the explanation died in her throat. She couldn’t tell him about Luke and Sierra, about Ryder. That wasn’t her secret to tell. Sierra might be an adult, but she was still her sister, and Annie wouldn’t betray her.
He stood. “Impossible how?”
She took another step back, needing space. “I just . . . It won’t work, Dylan. I can’t really explain it, and I’m sorry for that, but you just have to—” The lump in her throat choked off anything else she might’ve said.
“We can take it slow.”
She shook her head.
“I’m in no hurry, Annie. As slow as you like, and we’ll see what—”
“No, Dylan.”
His brows pulled low, his eyes turned fervent as he approached.
She backed up, but he followed her step for step. Her back hit the wall. Dylan continued until he was a breath away. His eyes held hers prisoner, locking onto hers tighter than shackles.
He palmed the wall over her head. “Say it then. Tell me you don’t care. That there’s nothing between us. Say it, Annie.”
Her lungs froze, the air inside them seeping out through her parted lips. Those words wouldn’t come out. They were a lie.
She wanted to say the other words, the ones he wanted to hear. She longed to see his frown turn to dimples when she confessed her love for him. But she thought of Sierra, and the words crumbled in her throat.
She dropped her gaze. “What you want is impossible,” she whispered. “I’m sorry.”
She felt his warm breath fan her face. She would not look up. She would not reach out and touch his face one last time. She clenched her fists at her sides.
“I need to be alone now.” The words scraped across her throat. Please, God, let him leave. Before I do something to betray my sister. Before I mess things up more than I already have.
He hadn’t moved. She couldn’t breathe with him so close. Couldn’t think. “Please, Dylan. Just go.” Her eyes burned at the words.
A heartbeat later he lowered his arm, straightened. His sigh was loud in the quietness of the house. “All right, Annie. If that’s the way you want it.”
He paused a beat as if waiting for her to change her mind.
She bit her lip before she could cry out that no, that’s not the way she wanted it at all. She wanted him to wrap her up in his arms and never let go.
But then he stepped back, moved away. He opened the door and walked through it. She didn’t breathe again, didn’t let the tears go until she heard the quiet click of the door closing behind him.
Dear A Mess in Missoula,
Change is never easy, but the hardest kind of transformation is the kind that happens on the inside.
33
Annie took another spin through town, this time checking the café parking lot and the side streets to the east. There was no sign of Sierra. She had to face it. Her sister wasn’t in Moose Creek.
She turned into a parking slot in front of the Mocha Moose. After last night’s sleep, or lack thereof, she was in desperate need of caffeine.
She was leaving the shop with her cup of java when she ran smack into Miss Lucy on the sidewalk. She steadied the cup, preventing a spill.
“Sorry!” they said simultaneously.
“Oh, honey,” Miss Lucy said after they’d steadied each other. “I heard about Sierra. Have you heard from her?”
Seeing the compassion in Miss Lucy’s eyes, Annie’s eyes stung, threatening to spill over right there on Main Street. She shook her head.
“Come with me.” Miss Lucy led her to the Doll House and ushered her into the shop. The scent of new fabric and glue permeated the store, and the blast of air-conditioning made her shiver.
“Sit down now. Tell me what happened.”
Annie sat and her nervous energy spilled out in the form of words. She didn’t stop with the story of Sierra’s leaving. It flowed right into Dylan’s proclamation of love, and that led right into Sierra’s secret. Annie spilled it all, trusting Miss Lucy implicitly, her thoughts gushing out like water from a broken jar.
“Oh my,” Miss Lucy said when she’d finally run out of words. “What a mess.”
Hearing it all spoken at once only helped Annie see it afresh, and Miss Lucy was right. “Why is this happening? My sister is missing, and my life is falling apart at the seams.”
“I know it feels that
way. But have faith. It’ll all work out as God intends.”
“I’m so worried about Sierra and Ryder. I’ll never forgive myself if something happens to them.”
Miss Lucy took her hand. “I’ve been praying for her since I heard. I’m sure she’s fine. She can be a little hasty, but she’s got a good head on her shoulders. She wouldn’t endanger her boy.”
Annie hoped she was right. As impulsive as Sierra could be, she’d never been reckless with Ryder.
“About that other thing. . .”
“Other thing?”
“Your young man.”
Dylan. Annie slanted a grin at Miss Lucy. “He’s hardly that. I just told you about Luke and Ryder. Have you ever seen such a dead-end relationship as mine and Dylan’s?”
“Luke’s on his way back to Texas even as we speak. I ran into Dylan this morning. He’s the one who asked me to pray for Sierra— and for you.”
That knowledge warmed her through. “But he and Luke are brothers. We couldn’t hide the truth forever. And even if it wasn’t for that, you know how I feel about cowboys.”
Miss Lucy’s lips pursed, accentuating the lines fanning outward. “Yes, I do.”
The weight of the last twenty-four hours pressed down on Annie, crushing her. Her shoulders slumped with the burden. “Despite all my efforts to guide Sierra, I failed. Despite my determination not to fall for a cowboy, I fell. I did the one thing I never wanted to do and didn’t do the one thing I promised to do. All my efforts to keep Sierra from becoming like our mother, and look at me . . . I’m the one who’s become her.”
“Oh, honey, you couldn’t be further from the truth.”
“I’m head over heels for a cowboy, just like her.”
“Maybe so, but that’s not uncommon. Let’s face it, you can’t throw a rock around here without hitting one.”
“Are we destined to make our parents’ mistakes? I knew the truth, I guarded myself against it, and it still happened.”
“What truth do you mean?”
“You know, Miss Lucy. Cowboys. They’re unfaithful. They leave. Sure, they can be charming and hardworking and otherwise fine, upstanding citizens, but put them in a thousand-square-foot house with a wife and two kids and see how fast they beat a path for the door.”
Big Sky Romance Collection Page 66
