“Here,” he said, shifting so that she could move to the side and he could hold her tight.
“Thank you.”
Is that what you say to men these days? she wondered. What was the protocol after you’d just had mind-blowing sex with someone you’d met less than two months ago? She didn’t know, and at that moment, she didn’t care. Her lids grew heavy and she didn’t want to fight the sleep that tried to claim her. For once in her life she didn’t want to fight at all. She was tired of doing battle. She wanted to rest and to be held and to feel as if she hadn’t a care in the world.
So she slept.
And Ethan held her. He doubted she felt him kiss the top of her head. Knew she had no idea that he drew back a bit and stared into her face, studying her, memorizing her.
What am I going to do with you? he silently asked. You’re going to fight this. I know you are.
But he was a soldier, a warrior. Someone who didn’t fear combat, even when the war about to be waged was simply a battle to win a woman’s heart.
* * *
SHE DREAMED SHE was at the ocean and Marcus, no, Ethan was there with her. They were frolicking in the ocean and water lapped at her calves.
She awoke with a start.
Ethan still held her. His toes were twitching as he slept, his legs entwined with hers so that she felt the movement on the back of her leg. It was daylight outside.
Adam.
She had no idea when he’d be home this morning. In the old days, back when she’d had “date night” with Marcus and Chance had been out on leave her brother wouldn’t bring him back without calling first. But it’d been a while since she and Adam had been apart and she wondered if he’d miss her and what he’d say if he knew Ethan had spent the night.
That she couldn’t deal with right now. Right now she needed to get up and get dressed. But first shower. Definitely shower.
She moved slowly, for some reason not wanting to awaken Ethan. No. That wasn’t true. She didn’t want to talk right now. She needed time to absorb what had just happened, to figure out where it left her and what it might mean. He’d been such a tender and gentle lover. At one point she’d found herself crying at the beauty of it all, but looming in the back of her mind, always there in the after moments, were thoughts about the morning and what would happen then.
Somehow she managed to extricate herself without him noticing. She scurried to the bathroom, listening for signs that he’d awoken as she waited for the water to warm. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, fingered her swollen lips, tried to straighten her wild hair, checked to make sure there were no marks on the side of her neck where the scruff of his chin had rubbed her raw, or so it had seemed. She saw no evidence of their lovemaking.
So she showered to help clear her mind. She emerged from it feeling grateful that if Adam arrived home now, she would be reasonably presentable. Of course, there was the matter of the sleeping man in her bed.
She attempted to rectify that problem the moment she pulled on clothes. Goodness knew why, but she tiptoed to the bedside, about to shake him awake when she paused to simply stare. He appeared to be dreaming, and not a good dream, either, based on the way he twitched and flicked his head from side to side. She watched, wondering if she should wake him. Clearly that was what he suffered from, because his movements became more jerky and more frantic until she couldn’t stop herself.
“Ethan.”
Green eyes popped open. They instantly found hers, his face going from frightened to puzzled to understanding.
“Damn.” He quickly sat up, and then shifted so he sat on the side of the bed. “Thanks.”
“Are you okay?”
He rested his elbows on his knees, rubbed his temple. “Nightmare.”
“Figured as much.”
“What time is it?”
“Seven.” He nodded and she wondered if he had bad dreams on a regular basis. “I was going to wake you up anyway. I’m not sure what time Adam will be back.”
He scrubbed the sleep out of his eyes and she found that gesture adorable. “Yeah. Good. I should probably get a move on.”
He started to stand and she retreated like a frightened cat. He froze for a moment and she realized he’d noticed, but didn’t say anything.
She turned away, murmuring, “I’ll make breakfast.” Something about the terror she’d glimpsed in his eyes tore at her heart. He wasn’t over his time in the Middle East. Not by a long shot. “There’s a fresh towel in the bathroom. Feel free to use my shampoo and whatever else you want.”
She called the words out over her shoulder because she didn’t want to see him standing there naked. It seemed so silly to be suddenly shy around him, not after all they’d done, but it was different this morning. Last night had been magical. Today, reality.
Which leaves you exactly where? she asked herself.
She didn’t know. Didn’t want to think about it. Breakfast first. Then maybe she’d be able to think clearer.
He entered the kitchen as she was sliding fried eggs onto plates. The toast was already done and the smell of bacon filled the air. Once upon a time he’d cooked for her. Funny. That seemed like a lifetime ago.
“I could get used to this,” he said as he took a seat. And he looked better. More himself. Less shaky. He still had his five-o’clock shadow and she was struck by the notion once again of just how much he looked like a younger version of George Clooney with his salt-and-pepper hair.
“Mom!”
She froze. Ethan didn’t. He just took the plate and sat down at the table.
“Mo-om.”
“In here,” she called back.
Adam arrived at the doorway to the kitchen, looking adorable and a little boyish with a crooked smile on his face that melted her heart. To her utter shock, he didn’t bat an eye when he spotted Ethan sitting at the table, just said, “I’m hungry. What’s to eat?”
She froze with her own plate in her hand. “I, um...” Ethan caught her gaze, smiled. “I just made fried eggs.”
“Yum.” He went to the kitchen table and sat down. “Uncle Colt only had cereal at his place. I was hungry for real food. Natalie offered to make it for me, but she only does the scrambled eggs and I don’t like that.”
She almost laughed. It was as if Ethan wasn’t even there. No. That wasn’t right. Her son smiled in the man’s direction. “Hey, Ethan.”
“Mornin’, Adam.”
“Can I have a fried egg, Mom?”
“Sure.” She handed her son her own plate. “I’ll make another.”
“Cool.”
And that was that. No funny looks. No curious comments. No awkward questions.
The knot in her stomach eased a bit.
Of course he might think Ethan had arrived early in the morning, as he often did. Her son probably had no idea he’d spent the night. That made more sense than anything else. She’d been worried over nothing.
Her son munched on a strip of bacon. “The rodeo was awesome. Colt said I can do it again at another rodeo if I want.”
She didn’t know what to say other than, “Oh. Well, yeah. I guess.”
“Gonna ride Playboy again later today.” Her son looked up. “If that’s okay with you.”
There it was again, the familiar urge to tell him no, to hand him the excuse that he was too weak or not ready or unable to handle the physical exertion. It was hard, but she somehow managed to say, “That sounds fine.”
She was rewarded with a smile that made her throat tighten.
“Why don’t we all go riding?” Ethan said.
“Yeah.” Adam gobbled down another bite, then said, “Can we, Mom?”
Claire looked up. She shot Ethan a look that clearly expressed her opinion of the idea, and it wasn’t favorable. Ethan just sm
iled, and oddly, she suddenly wanted to smile, too. Wretch.
“After we feed the dogs and work Thor,” Ethan said.
“Cool. I’ll go text Uncle Colt.”
He was off like a shot, and Claire was surprised to realize he’d finished his breakfast. He left silence behind, but it was comfortable and Claire didn’t mind because she was able to finish her own breakfast, Ethan watching her take every bite. It was both erotic and annoying to feel his gaze upon her, but she did her best not to let him see.
“You don’t have to go with us if you don’t want to,” he said when she finished.
“No.” She set her dishes in the sink. “I can tolerate riding one more time.”
He nodded, smiled. “Good. Why don’t you meet me in an hour or so? That’ll give me time to finish my chores for your brother, too.”
“Sounds good.”
“I was actually wanting to take Thor on a ride, if that’s okay, to test him. See if he’s ready for the big outdoors. I figure if he runs I have a better shot at catching him on a horse.”
“You probably would.”
“So you’re okay with that?”
“Of course.”
“Good.” He got up, and before she could say another word, pinned her to the counter with his arms on either side. “I’ll see you later, then.”
The ripples struck with a force that left her breathless. “Later,” she echoed.
She thought he would kiss her, but he didn’t. Instead he brushed his lips against her neck. Just a light touch but it was enough to make her knees weak.
He left her standing there, wilting against the countertop. She heard him leave the house, saw him head toward the kennels out of her kitchen window. She felt herself move then. She didn’t recall making the decision to watch him, but she did, smiling at the way Thor spotted him the minute he stepped outside, and the way the dog got up and headed toward the entrance. A minute later they both emerged, Thor’s tail wagging, a canine grin on his face.
The dog worshipped Ethan. It was so obvious. Equally obvious was Ethan’s affection for Thor. He reached down, scrubbed a hand through his fur, playfully grabbed an ear. Thor loved it. She watched the two and just smiled.
She could love Ethan.
The thought landed like a brick. She staggered back from the counter.
“Mom. What’s wrong?”
She turned away from the window, wiped a tear from her eyes she hadn’t even known had fallen. “Nothing, kiddo.”
“Did Ethan leave?”
“He’s outside working with Thor, but he said to meet him in about an hour.”
“I’m going outside to help him, then.”
“Sure.”
But her son stared at her funny. “I like him, Mom.”
She wasn’t going to say anything, just nod, but instead she heard herself say, “I like him, too, honey.”
And it scared the hell out of her.
Chapter Sixteen
His cell phone rang the moment he entered his apartment above the barn. It startled him because he’d forgotten he had the thing with him.
“Dr. Ethan McCall?” asked a voice after he answered.
“Affirmative,” Ethan answered, the response automatic after all his years in the military.
“This is Lance Kittrick.”
It took him a moment to place the name, and when he did, he jerked upright. “Mr. Kittrick, it’s an honor.”
The man was a legend in the world of combat dogs. One of the few known breeders of Belgian Malinois in the States. His training facility in Montana was world-renowned, too—police officers, military personnel and private contractors were regular customers. He’d applied there on a whim even though he knew they kept a veterinarian on retainer already, but he’d thought maybe he could get his foot in the door, to do what he really wanted to do, which was get into the business of breeding and training military dogs. He could learn from the best while still practicing medicine, move in with his parents if he had to.
“Actually, the honor’s all mine, Major.”
“Not major anymore, sir. It’s just Dr. McCall.”
“Well, Dr. McCall, we were glad to receive your résumé.”
He’d sent out a bunch when he’d arrived at the ranch, back before he’d realized how much living at Misfit Farms suited him. And now with Claire in his life...
“Yes, sir. About that. My situation has changed. I’m working for a farm and I’m not going to lie, I’d like to stay here.”
For as long as Claire would have him. With any luck, she felt the same way, too.
“Really?” said Mr. Kittrick. “That’s too bad. Your résumé came at the perfect time. Our staff veterinarian has decided he’d like to retire and so we’re starting to put out feelers for a new one. With your military experience and connections, you’d be a perfect addition to our outfit.”
He wouldn’t be human if he didn’t feel a twinge of regret. What were the odds that he’d be offered his dream job at this point in his life? When he’d first gotten back home he’d have jumped at the chance; now all he did was hold on to the phone tighter. It was a dream job, but he couldn’t take it. It would mean leaving Claire...
“When would you be looking to hire someone?”
“Soon, and before you say no again, why don’t I fly you out here so you can look over the place? I think you’d be pleased with what we’ve got. Plus, your cover letter said you wanted to learn how to train.”
“Yes, sir. I know the basics, but I’ve never done it professionally.”
“Well, son, that’s our specialty, as I’m sure you know.” The man paused to let his words sink in. “Look, I’m not going to lie. When I got your résumé I put it aside, thinking if something came up we’d give you a call. I had no idea our doc was thinking of retiring. He’d mentioned it but I didn’t think he meant right away. Took me by surprise last week when he sat me down and broke the news, but then I thought about your résumé. You’re my first call.”
He took a deep breath, glanced out the window, at Misfit Farms and the horses in the pasture and the way the sun made the mountains in the distance look like something an artist would paint.
“Can I get back to you?”
“Sure, sure,” Mr. Kittrick said. “Why don’t you think about it for a couple days? I’ll hold off making any more phone calls until I hear back from you.”
He released the breath. “I’d appreciate that, sir.”
When he hung up he realized his hands were shaking again, but for a different reason this time. Come to think of it, he hadn’t felt anxious in over a week. He had Claire to thank for that. She’d shown him the true meaning of bravery in the face of adversity. Yes, he’d lost his best friend, but like Claire, he would stand strong.
He couldn’t leave her.
Still, when Claire showed up with Adam and Thor in tow, his mind was a million miles away. What would it hurt if he flew out there and took a look? There was nothing wrong with a long-distance relationship. It would mean making adjustments, but if anyone could handle the strain of an out-of-state boyfriend, it would be Claire. She’d been a military wife.
“Thor, hey,” he said, greeting the dog. Not that the animal could hear him but he was pretty certain Thor could read the expression on his face and maybe even his mouth. “Ready?”
“I hope he doesn’t run away,” Claire said.
“He won’t.”
“Let’s go!” Adam shouted, running to the pasture where his horse was kept.
“He’s been like this all morning.”
Ethan nodded, motioning for Thor to sit. “He likes riding.”
“He likes swimming even better and that’s what he plans to do once he gets to the stock pond.”
Did he tell her? Or sho
uld he keep the news to himself? He honestly didn’t know.
“I’ll go get your horse,” he offered.
“No. It’s okay. You’ve got Thor. I can get Blue myself.”
He didn’t argue. Plus, keeping busy gave him time to think. Thor followed him to his horse’s side. He worried about how the dog would react with the horse, but Thor hung back as Ethan went to work brushing and saddling. When he emerged from the barn a few moments later he was happy to see Thor following. The dog never took his eyes off him.
“Where’d you put your swim trunks?” he was just in time to hear Claire ask Adam.
“In here.” Adam pointed to saddlebags he must have found in the tack room.
“You ready?” she asked Ethan next.
“Let’s go.”
Claire mounted up and so did Ethan, and when he was on board, he motioned for Thor to heel. The dog didn’t hesitate.
“That’s a good sign.”
Ethan nodded. Thor would be okay. He cued his horse to move forward. Adam rode up alongside him and he was like a different kid, Ethan noticed. The boy he’d been when Ethan had arrived had still been recovering from cancer treatment. This boy was alive and well and full of youthful enthusiasm.
“Thor sure is behaving,” the boy observed.
“He is.”
Who would work with the dog if he left?
“What’s wrong?” Claire asked, riding up to him.
How had she so easily gleaned that the thought of leaving Thor, of leaving them all, had him distracted? He inhaled deeply, trying to clear his thoughts. The familiar scent of leather and horse should be a comfort to him, but it wasn’t. It was both a comfort and a curse because it was yet another reminder of what he would miss if he left. No more horseback rides with Claire.
His Rodeo Sweetheart Page 14
