by Tara Lain
Merle looked at him like he was being dense. “Simple. Gray’s asking me to step aside so he can be your unchallenged suitor.”
“Suitor?” He leaped to his feet. “What makes you think, Mr. Anson, that I don’t have a line of your so-called suitors waiting for me to say yes?”
Gray’s lips stayed firm, but his eyes danced. “Well, I think you should have a line of admirers, but I don’t think you do, because for some reason you’re not interested in anybody. Hell, I watch guys gazing at you like the sun rose all over your pretty face, and you don’t even notice. Nope, I think it’s between me and Merle.”
Merle turned to Ru. “Is it? Is it between the two of us?”
Ru let out a long, slow sigh. “No.”
Gray’s face fell. “Oh. Who’s the other guy?”
Merle looked at Ru with a sad smile. “There isn’t any other guy, is there? There’s just Gray.”
Ru stared at his hands.
Gray said, “What?”
“Ru and I are just friends, Gray. We’ve never even kissed—well, once briefly, but it didn’t work out—because he’s not interested in me. Only you.” Merle reached out and stroked Ru’s arm. “Not for lack of trying on my part, but he’s always made it clear, somebody else was it. I kind of figured it was you the first time I ever saw him look in your direction.”
Gray leaned forward. “Is it true?”
Ru wiggled his fingers. “I told you that.”
“Yeah, but a lot of water’s gone over the dam since then.”
Ru looked up. “I’ve been stuck on you since the first time I saw you on the screen—but that doesn’t mean I can endure your lifestyle. Watching you get blown up about killed me, and seeing you with that witch makes me ill. I don’t care how good she is for your career. Her opinions demean me, Merle, and you. There’s no excuse for it.”
Gray nodded. “That’s why Benson is taking her back to her hotel now. I don’t ever plan to see her again.”
Ru stared at that beautiful face. “That’s good.” He looked down at his fingernails like they held the secrets of the universe. “If I had any self-respect, I’d tell you that you don’t deserve me. If you won’t admit who and what you are—if you won’t admit what I am to you—why should I be your secret boyfriend? I’m sure there are thousands of guys who’d be willing to bend over for you.”
Gray kind of collapsed in his chair. “You’re right, of course.”
Merle looked back and forth between them. “Hang on. What you’re saying would be fine in a perfect world, Ru, but shit, think about what you’re asking. There aren’t any bigger stars than Gray Anson. Even the most stupendous among us only get a certain number of years at the top. You’re asking Gray to throw that over by coming out.”
Ru looked up. “You did it.”
“Okay, yes, but I’m no Gray Anson. I’m not even an action star. Plus I only got a little famous last year. Gray hit it big more like five or six years ago. It wasn’t okay to be gay then. Hell, it’s not okay for big, sexy stars to be gay now. It’s just a different thing.”
Ru rested his chin on his hand. “I know.”
“You do?”
“Yes. I know what’s best for Gray. But I have to consider if that’s the best for me.” Jesus, you sound so reasonable.
Gray said, “First of all, what if I give up doing my own stunts? At least the really dangerous ones. It costs the production company a couple of first-born children to buy insurance on me anyway. Yeah, the director loves it, but he doesn’t pay the tab. So I can do that. Second, what if I hire a woman to be my so-called girlfriend? She can go everywhere with me and expect nothing.”
Ru’s heart beat like a hammer. “How do you keep her from blackmailing you?”
“I pay her a lot.”
Merle shook his head. “Sounds expensive to be in the closet. But what if I volunteer to be Ru’s boyfriend?” Gray gave him a vicious look, and Merle laughed. “I mean in name only. Hell, we’re already friends, and I’m a boy, right?”
“Why would you do that? What do you get out of it?”
Ru looked at Merle too. “Good question.”
“I get to hang out with Ru—and you. I don’t have a boyfriend right now, so no skin off anything. When I meet somebody I like, I’ll move on. But I feel the same as you, Gray. I like you. I wouldn’t mind being your friend. It probably doesn’t hurt my career to hang with you. So what the fuck?” He flashed the boyish grin.
Gray looked at Ru. “What do you think?”
Oh shit. Oh shit. Gray Anson had just said he’d rearrange his life for Ru. He’d even said he loved Ru, although that was likely just a figure of speech. Dreams-come-true probably never looked exactly like you expected anyway, right? He nodded. “Yes, okay.”
Things got real quiet. Ru looked at his hands and Gray stared at the floor. Suddenly Merle burst out laughing. “Okay, I know when I’m not needed.” He drank down the last of his champagne and stood. “Let me know when my performance as a stand-in boyfriend is required. I’ll see you, Gray, at tomorrow’s matinee. Ru, it was fun hanging with you, baby.” He leaned down and kissed Ru’s cheek.
Damn, what a sweetie. Ru stood and gave Merle the tightest hug he could imagine. Gray tapped Merle’s shoulder, and when he looked up, Gray gave him a hug. Merle leaned back. “Okay, we have to teach you how to hug like a gay guy.” He wrapped both arms around Gray, kissed his cheek, and hugged him tight. Gray kind of blushed, but he hugged back.
Merle stepped out of the embrace. “A, you can trust me. B, I know that you know that I know that I’ll be sued off the planet if I let anything slip, so don’t worry about my discretion.”
Gray nodded. “I trust you, or I never would have let you in on this.”
“Thank you.” Merle patted Gray’s arm and walked to the door. He gazed at Ru and smiled, then looked at Gray. “You’re a lucky guy.”
“I know.”
Merle walked out the door and closed it behind him.
Ru breathed out and didn’t move. “You really want to make all these changes in your life?” He didn’t say “for me,” but the implication hung in the air.
“Yes. It’s funny. Chris says if he were as rich as I am, he’d have more fun. Hell, that wouldn’t be hard. Having any fun would be a start.” He looked at Ru. “I have fun with you, Ru. I’m not a party guy. I don’t drink much—well, except for once—and I don’t do drugs. I don’t love flying all over the world going to exotic places. I like having a quiet dinner with you. I like talking to you. So I guess what I’m saying is, I’m not making these changes for you. I’m making them for me. These are things I need. If I get to have you in my life as a result, I think of that as a blessing.”
Ru burst into tears.
Chapter Twenty-One
Gray covered the distance between them, wrapped Ru in his arms, picked him up, and carried him into the bedroom. After laying Ru gently on the mattress, he hurried into the living room and turned off the lights. When he got back, Ru had quieted a little but still snuffled. Gray stretched on the mattress beside him. “Are those bad tears or good tears?”
Ru shrugged and wiped at his eyes. “Both, I guess. The only thing I can think of that’s worse than living your life is living without you. Jesus. Rock, meet hard place.”
“Man.” Gray flipped on his back and stared at the ceiling. “I spend so much time being told how lucky I am. How I’ve reached the pinnacle of stardom and have everything that most people want. And here you are, the person whose opinion I value most in the world, telling me that my life is so awful, it’s a burden to share it.”
Ru turned toward him. “People see in your life what they want to see. The money that would solve their debt problems, the fame that they imagine would give them a sense of self-worth. But they don’t see what you give up. It’s unimaginable to anyone what it would be like to truly have no privacy. Not just paparazzi hounding you morning and night, but to have the world feel it owns you and gets to tell you, in exchange fo
r the money and fame, exactly how you have to be. The fans, your staff, your insurance companies, the press.” He sighed. “Me too, I guess.” He looked up. “You should tell us all to fuck off and live how you want to live.”
Gray rolled toward Ru, his pretty face only a few inches away. “Figuring out how I want to live is too big a job for me right now. But I do know one thing.” He smiled. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be at this moment.”
Ru smiled back. “Me too.”
He leaned in and captured Ru’s pouty mouth, trying to pour all the sweetness in his heart into that meeting of lips. When he pulled back, he touched Ru’s cheek. “I’m pretty sure we’re wearing way too many clothes.”
“Umm-hmm.” Ru’s eyes drooped.
Gray chuckled. It had been a long, hard day. He rolled off the bed and stripped his own clothes to the floor, then turned to Ru. He removed Ru’s shoes and socks, then, with a few fancy gymnastics involving suspenders, pulled off his pants. He snorted when he saw the Hello Kitty bikinis. Where in hell did he find those? Of course, Ru was so slim he might have bought them in the girls’ department.
Crawling beside Ru, he slipped an arm underneath him and sat him up. He managed to get one arm of the fancy dress shirt off. Odd. You didn’t see young men wear undershirts much anymore.
Gray reached for the other arm and Ru opened a sleepy eye. “What?”
“We need to take off your shirt, dear. The thing’s much too fashionable to get slept in.”
“Umm, much less to fuck in.” Ru laughed and slid off the other arm of his shirt. He wrapped his arms around himself. “I like to leave this on. It keeps me warm.”
“I’ll keep you warm.”
“Think of it as my teddy bear T-shirt.”
“Got it. Never mess with the teddies.”
“Correct.”
Gray grabbed the covers and pulled them down. Ru curled up in a ball in the middle of the crisp white sheets. “So tired. Want to fuck you but can’t keep my eyes open.” He took a deep breath.
Gray hung up Ru’s clothes and tossed his own on the chair, then curled himself around Ru’s lean body and pulled the covers over them. When he wrapped a hand around Ru’s waist, over the dumb T-shirt, he found a very prominent protuberance that didn’t seem to have bought into the whole sleep idea. He nibbled against Ru’s neck, grasped his erect dick, and whispered, “You sleep. I’ll take care of this for you.”
Ru chuckled.
Gray stuck his own erection between Ru’s legs. Moving slowly and with purpose, he stroked Ru’s cock while he thrust his own hips.
Ru moaned. “Who let Godzilla in here?” He tightened his thighs, then wrapped his hand around Gray’s cock, though it only reached partway, and pumped even harder. “Oh shit, that feels so good.”
Like a locomotive gaining speed, they chugged and pumped until nobody was sleeping at all. “Oh man, Ru. Yes.”
“Don’t stop. Almost there.” Ru’s hands clamped so tight over Gray’s, they hurt. “Yes, yes. Shiiiit.”
Gray’s hand got all hot and sticky, but not as hot as his balls, which squeezed like they were trying to pump out his heart and splattered cum onto the sheets in three mind-cancelling explosions. “Wow.”
Gray shook through the aftershivers, then rolled out of bed and grabbed a damp cloth from the bathroom. He washed his hands, then brought the warm cloth and wiped Ru’s thighs and dick. Ru giggled. When Gray got back in bed, he pulled Ru toward him. “I want to keep you out of the wet spot.”
Ru chuckled softly. “You kidding? Between the two of us, this whole side of the bed is a wet spot. And I love it.” Within seconds he was breathing deeply.
Gray inhaled that sweet vanilla Ru scent along with the heady smell of a gallon of cum. He’d said figuring out how he wanted to live his life was too big a job—but he was damned sure it looked a lot like this.
Sun. Oops. Where am I supposed to be? Gray raised his head and looked past Ru’s shoulder at the clock. Oh, nice. Only eight thirty. Assuming that was a.m., he had a while until he had to be at the theater for his one Sunday matinee. He dropped his head back down and practiced existing. Yes, he had to pee so bad he might wet the bed, but beyond that, the smells were heaven, the warmth of Ru’s body seeped into his soul, and the pure contentment reminded him how seldom—make that never—he felt this way. Ru murmured in his sleep. Gray kissed his back.
Okay, pee and come back for more. He got up, let his morning wood lead him to the bathroom, breathed deeply until it went down enough to pee out of, flushed, washed, and headed back to his heavenly nest.
Slats of morning sun shone brightly into the bedroom because they hadn’t closed the blinds tightly. Gray tiptoed to the bed—and stopped. He cocked his head. Ru lay on his side with his back to Gray. That teddy bear of a T-shirt had rucked up his back, revealing—what? He walked closer and looked. A tattoo. Huge tattoo. Funny, he’d never taken Ru for a tat guy. What is it?
He sat on the edge of the mattress very softly so as not to disturb Ru. With one finger he gently lifted the T-shirt farther. Are those wings? An angel? Some kind of writing. He lifted a little farther. Diablo? Ru snorted and rolled onto his back.
Gray froze. Why did he feel guilty? All he was doing was looking at a tattoo. Ru stayed asleep, so he lay back down and stared at the ceiling. Was that the reason for the T-shirt? Ru always wore a shirt, didn’t he? Weird. He’d never seen Ru’s chest—or back. Why hadn’t he realized that before? Was Ru embarrassed? Ashamed of his body? Or covering the tat?
He glanced at Ru. Had to ask him but not make a big deal out of it. Hell, it’s a tattoo. It’s not a big deal. Kids did stupid things.
After a few more minutes of ceiling review, he gave up, got up, took a shower, and went to investigate the breakfast situation. He needed to remind Ru about his parents’ arrival. Having Ru design an outfit for his mom was a good reason to introduce him to Gray’s parents. Funny how that seemed really important, even though they wouldn’t know that Ru was more than a friend and business partner. Shit. That made him sad.
“Hey, whatcha doing, handsome?”
Gray smiled and turned, leaning against the kitchen counter. Ru stood there with his floppy hair falling in front of his face, wearing a gold robe in some material clearly designed for guys who didn’t blow shit up a lot. “I came to feed you and got distracted by my thoughts.”
Ru stepped in, wrapped his arms around Gray’s waist, and looked up into his eyes. “I got a penny.”
“What?”
“For your thoughts.”
Gray kissed his nose—cute critter that it was. “My folks arrive on Wednesday. I just want them to have fun.”
“They’re going to have fun—being with you. And we need to set up a time to get your mom measured for a new outfit, right?”
“Yeah. She’ll never admit it, but I think she’ll love that.”
Ru pulled eggs and a package of turkey bacon out of the refrigerator.
From the bedroom, Gray’s phone started playing the theme from Alliance of Power, one of his biggest films. “That’s me. Be right back.” He found the phone buried under his clothes on the chair. Speak of the devil— “Hi, Mom.”
“Gray, I’m so thrilled with all these amazing reviews of your performance in Hamlet. My goodness, they’re glowing. I actually went online to see if I could read the play before we come.” She laughed. “Maybe we’ll understand the story when we see it, but I couldn’t make any sense of that script.” She laughed again.
“Yeah, I had a tough time too. A friend of mine helped me understand it.”
“He must be a very smart friend.”
“He is. You’ll meet him.”
“Wonderful. I wanted to ask, darling, will there be a church we can attend on Sunday?”
Damn, he should have thought of that. “I’m sure I can find one near where we’ll be, okay?”
“Not your regular church?”
“We won’t be in LA on Sunday probably, Mom. Plus I don�
�t go much. I usually work on Sundays.”
“Uh, uh, uh. Not good for your spirit, dear.”
“I know. But we’ll go next Sunday, okay?”
“Oh, lovely. Maybe Penelope can come with us.”
Well, shit. “Mom, Penelope and I broke up.”
“Oh.” Pause. “I’m so sorry, dear. I thought that was just something the press made up.”
“It’s better. We were at different places in our lives.”
“I see.” She didn’t.
“We can talk about it when I see you. I have to go get ready for today’s matinee.”
Her sigh was soft but accusing. “Okay, darling. Break a leg.” She laughed at her insider knowledge. “Kisses. See you soon.”
“Kisses.” He clicked off. Oh man, Penelope again.
Gray walked back to the kitchen, where scrambled eggs and turkey bacon were smelling up the joint deliciously.
Ru smiled. “We’re almost ready here. Grab some plates out of the center cabinet.” He glanced at Gray. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Kind of. That was my mom.”
“Is something wrong? They’re still coming, right? I know how much you’re looking forward to it.”
“Yeah, I am looking forward to it, but—damn, they really want to meet my girlfriend. I told her I broke up with Penelope, and she’s so disappointed.”
Ru turned and leaned against the counter, flipping hair out of his face. Hell, dress him as a girl and his parents would love him. “Look, forget what you said about finding someone to pretend to be your girlfriend. You can’t do that by Wednesday. Just grab the Russian witch and let it go at that.” He frowned quickly, then smiled, but it looked forced.
Gray shook his head. “First, they’d hate her. Hell, I hate her.”
Ru stared at his feet in fluffy mules. “Maybe you should get back with Penelope?”
Gray wrapped an arm around Ru’s shoulders. “That’s much too complicated. No, they just have to live with my single status.” He took a big breath. “Maybe this is the time to come out to them?”
Ru looked up with wide eyes. “Wow. You think?”
