by R L Medina
“Of course not, but sometimes secrets this big have a way of getting out. That’s all I meant.”
His words echoed in my ears. I didn’t like keeping things from Javi, but I was scared to reveal this part of my life to him. What if he couldn’t accept me? What if it changed everything?
“Do you need a ride to Rafael’s?” Grayson asked.
I smiled at him. “Sure. Thanks.”
He held my hand and gave it a squeeze, his warmth flooding through me. We walked to the dorm parking lot together in silence, breathing in the cool beachy air. Around us, students chattered excitedly about their fancy vacations. As amazing as their expensive trips sounded, I was glad that Tio and Tia had decided to stay home. A simple Malibu Christmas with my friends and family sounded like the best thing in the world.
Grayson opened the door to his sleek sporty looking car for me. Though it was definitely more expensive than what the guys back in Sonoma drove, it probably cost far less than what the other GRIMM students drove.
We spent the short ride talking about the upcoming exams and swapping Christmas stories from our pasts. Though the memories of our parents were bittersweet, it was healing to share them with each other. No one else could really understand.
“Do you want me come in with you?” Grayson asked as we pulled up to the gate.
“No. It’s okay. I don’t know how long I’ll be. Don’t wait for me. I’ll just get a ride back with Michael.”
His brows knitted together in worry, but he nodded. “Okay. Call or text me if you change your mind.”
That was one of the things I loved about Grayson. He was protective, but not overbearing or controlling.
I leaned forward to kiss him, but a voice came from the speaker, making me jump.
“Don’t.” Lucian’s deep voice cut through.
“I’m here to see Michael.” I turned to the camera.
A grunt echoed back as the gates opened for us. Grayson drove us in and parked, his eyes locked onto the giant house.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come in with you?”
I turned his head toward me and looked into his blue-gray eyes. “I’ll be fine. Thank you. I’ll call you when I get back to the academy.”
His gaze flickered across my face and dipped to my lips. Before we could kiss, the front door swung open and Lucian stood in the doorway, arms folded across his broad chest.
He narrowed his eyes on us, motioning for me to hurry up.
“Bye!” I gave Grayson a quick peck on the lips and turned to open my door.
He waved at me before driving away.
“What are you doing here?” Lucian’s gruff voice caught my ear.
I glanced over to the big guy and flashed him a smile. “Just paying my favorite werewolves a visit.”
He grunted and glared at me, making no attempt to let me pass.
“I told her she could stop by any time.” Michael appeared in the doorway behind his pack brother.
Lucian turned his glare on him. “You are not alpha.”
“Let her in. Raphael won’t care.” He ignored Lucian’s accusing tone.
The wolf grunted once more, shook his head at Michael and walked away.
“Raphael isn’t home?” I asked as I entered the fancy entryway.
Michael cocked his head at me. “Not yet. Did you come to see him?”
“Not really. Can we talk?”
Concern flashed on his face as he led me to the couches.
“Is everything okay with the GRIMM? At the school?”
I slumped into one of the chairs and sighed. “Yeah. That’s not why I’m here. Has Rafael told you anything about me?”
Michael sat down across from me, brows still furrowed. “No. Why?”
I bit my lip. If Rafael didn’t want his pack to know about me, then me asking nosy questions about his past would get back to him and possibly get me banned from coming around again.
Trying to backtrack, I searched my mind for another way to ask my questions without raising suspicion.
“Like if I’m still allowed to come see you guys.”
Michael scoffed. “I don’t see why not. He hasn’t said anything about you not being allowed in.”
I leaned back and drummed my fingers on my pants, trying to work up enough courage to ask my questions.
“He just always seems to be in a pissy mood when he sees me.”
Michael smirked. “It’s not you, trust me. That’s just his general attitude.”
“Must take after his father then?”
“Actually, from what I’ve heard they never really got along. I think that’s why his death hit Raf so hard. They never got the chance to reconcile.”
Michael’s words flooded me with guilt. Falling in love with my mom had led Rafael’s dad to his death so in a way, I felt I was responsible.
“And what about his mother?”
Michael glanced at me, an eyebrow arched. “Rafael’s? Nobody knows anything about her. Apparently, she dropped him off when he was just a pup and has never been seen or heard from again.”
Pup. My nose crinkled at the odd word choice and the image it conjured. A young, wolf-boy left on his father’s doorstep. No wonder the guy had anger issues.
“But she was wolf, right? Werewolf?”
“Yes. Why?”
Heat spread up my neck. “Just curious.”
“Don’t tell Rafael I told you any of this. He doesn’t want anyone talking about it.”
“I won’t.”
Questions filled my mind. There was still so much I didn’t know about my mom’s past and too many secrets she’d left buried that I feared I would never discover. Though Jesse had been helping me fill in the gaps, I knew the person I really needed answers from was Rafael. But if he refused to talk about his past with his own pack, he definitely wouldn’t discuss it with me.
“What is his problem with you anyway? It seems like you two are always fighting.”
Michael sighed and rubbed a hand across his face. “It’s complicated. I think he sees me as a threat to the pack.”
“A threat? But you would never hurt your pack.”
He smiled. “No, that’s not what he’s worried about. It’s the fact that I am or was alpha. Or I would have been in my old pack if the vampires hadn’t completely wiped everyone out.” His face darkened.
I blinked in surprise. “You were alpha?”
“Not anymore. This is my pack now and I would never challenge Rafael. But no matter what I do to prove my loyalty, it never seems like enough.”
Michael shook his head. “Sorry. You don’t need to know about all this drama.”
Before I could respond, he shot up and motioned for me to be quiet. My hand instantly went to my glamoured sword. Fear snaked up my spine.
“It’s just Rafael,” Michael assured me, noticing my reaction.
I relaxed, slightly, though my stomach still knotted at the thought of what Rafael would do once he found out I was asking about him.
We waited as the front door opened and he stormed in. His face was stony, his dark eyes narrowing on me as he entered.
“What are you doing here?”
I stiffened in my seat.
Michael frowned at the exchange. “I didn’t realize she wasn’t welcomed here.”
Rafael’s eyes flickered to him. “Leave us.”
Michael glanced from his alpha to me, but didn’t budge. “Why? What’s going on?”
Rafael growled and took a step toward him. “I said leave.”
I could tell from Michael’s stance, he had no intention of listening to the alpha. Before he could respond, I held a hand up to him.
“It’s okay, Michael. I needed to talk to Raphael, anyway.”
Confusion spread on his face as he eyed me.
“Don’t make me give you another order, Michael.” Rafael’s voice was like steel.
With another look to me for reassurance, the wolf moved stiffly out of the room and down the hall.
As soon as he was gone, Raphael turned on me.
I fought the urge to cower under his withering glare.
“What are you doing here? I did not give you permission to show up here unannounced anytime you feel like it.”
“I didn’t know I needed your permission.”
His eyes drilled into me. “Do they know? Your friends?”
“Know that I’m here? Of course. Grayson drove me over and—”
“No. Do they know you share my blood?”
I stiffened.
He smiled at me, a cold smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I thought so. You didn’t tell them. You still want to be a GRIMM? Fight against your own kind?”
“I’m not werewolf. I’m not like—”
“Me.” The lines around his eyes tightened.
I swallowed hard and fixed him with a glare. “And have you told the rest of your pack? About me? What did they think about that?”
A growl emanated from him. I pushed down my fear.
“Not yet. I’m still trying to figure out the best way to tell them.”
I looked at him in surprise. Was he finally warming up to the idea of me being family? The thought was troubling and warming at the same time.
“Do you think your dad knew about me? Before he died?”
The front door swung open, saving him from having to answer.
Leo and Matteo stomped in with voices raised in what sounded like a heated debate.
“So, next time don’t ask me to set you up if you’re going to bail so early.”
“I never asked you to set me up and it was two a.m. Two a/m. In the morning, Leo.”
Leo laughed and strolled toward us, throwing me a wink. “Rose.”
Matteo gave me a half-hearted wave and turned back to his twin, “I don’t need you to set me up. I can get my own dates.”
Leo gave an exaggerated sigh. “Yeah. Boring dates. Let’s not forget the schoolteacher.”
Matteo’s face reddened. “Ellie? She was not boring. Excuse me if I like women with some class and not the—” He glanced at me and back to his brother.
Leo’s eyebrow was arched, his lips turned up in amusement. “The?”
Matteo glared at him. “I was doing just fine with Nadia before you interfered.”
Leo’s face hardened. “Nadia isn’t right for you, Mat.”
“That’s not up to you. You just didn’t like the fact that she chose me over you.”
My eyes bulged at the new information. So, that was what all the drama with the wolf woman was about.
“That’s not true, Mat.”
Matteo shook his head and stormed off.
“Just trying to help you, bro. You’re welcome,” Leo shouted after him.
“Leo.” Rafael’s voice was serious.
The wolf straightened to full height and turned to his alpha.
“Did you make the drop off? Tell me you made the drop off before you took personal time.”
“Yes, Alpha. It’s done.”
“Good. I have another load due downtown tonight.”
Leo glanced at Michael who had reappeared in the room. “Can’t he go?”
Rafael’s eyes narrowed. “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. I know you aren’t stupid enough to question an order.”
Leo nodded in acknowledgment and sauntered off in the same direction as his twin.
I gaped at Rafael. Was he seriously discussing his drug operation in front of me? Did he think our secret gave him a free pass to break the law without me blabbing? The GRIMM had cleared their charges and they were already back at it.
“As fun as this little visit has been, I have business to deal with.” Rafael’s icy manner returned.
He turned to Michael. “You can take her back to school.”
With that, he walked away, leaving me puzzling over our interrupted conversation. Getting answers from the wolf was going to be much harder than I had anticipated.
Michael frowned at him and turned to face me. “Everything okay?”
I nodded.
“Take a walk with me outside?”
Curiosity filled me at his request, but I stood and followed as he led me out the back.
We walked in silence, our shoes crunching against the sand. The sun was starting to set, painting the beautiful beach in its golden pinkish glow. It looked almost like glamour, but my GRIMM senses didn’t detect anything unusual besides the werewolf walking beside me.
I smiled at the picturesque scene. Sometimes the non-magical things could be just as spectacular.
“Is there something going on between you and Rafael?”
Michael’s question brought my head around in horror. “What?”
He flushed and rubbed his neck. “I don’t mean like that. I know you’re not… I’m just. I can sense there’s more to it than your mom’s history with his dad.”
I looked away, unsure of what to answer. If Rafael was going to tell his pack, I didn’t want to be the one to jump the gun. But I also didn’t like lying to Michael.
“So, I’m assuming your silence means there is something else. But you can’t say because of Raphael?”
“He should be the one to tell you. He said he would.”
Michael’s eyes searched mine before he nodded. “Okay. I just want you to know, even though he’s my alpha, I will always watch out for you. You can trust me.”
I smiled. “I know. Thank you, Michael.”
It was weird that the older wolf had become like an older brother figure to me when it was Raphael who I was actually related to. Things would have been much easier if it had been Michael that was my half-brother, but clearly the universe never intended for anything in my life to be easy.
“Your cousin is here.” Michael’s voice interrupted my thoughts.
I followed his gaze, surprised to see Javi walking up. He was still dressed in his uniform, face grim.
“Javi? What are you doing here?” I asked as he joined us.
His gaze flickered to Michael and back to me. “I came to pick you up. I did try calling and texting, but you didn’t answer.”
“I was busy.”
He frowned. “With what?”
Michael watched our exchange, eyebrow arched in amusement. “Should I go?”
I shrugged in response and he took that as an answer to leave. He gave me a wave and Javi a nod before he walked back to the house.
“You didn’t have to come to pick me up, Javi.”
His lips pursed. “You didn’t answer your phone.”
“I’m not in danger anymore. I was fine.”
“I get that they helped you and you feel some kind of loyalty toward them, but Rose, how do you know that you can trust them. They’re not—”
“You better not say human,” I stopped him.
He gave me an exasperated look.
Anger rushed through me as I advanced on him. “You want to know why I’m not scared of them like you are, Javi?”
His nostrils flared. “I’m not scared of them.”
I scoffed. “Because I’m one of them.”
“What do you mean you’re one of them? You’re a GRIMM.”
“Raphael is my half-brother.”
Javier’s eyes widened. “What?”
Heat rushed across my skin. “But I don’t have the werewolf gene. I’m still human even though we share the same father.”
“Your father? Your father was a werewolf? Are you serious? And you’ve been lying about it this whole time?”
“No. I didn’t know before. I swear. I only found out when I was taken by Luna Negra. The first time.”
He reeled as if I’d struck him. “You’ve been keeping this from me since then?”
“I… it wasn’t important, Javi. Not with everything going on.”
“You didn’t trust me.” Hurt laced his words.
“No, that’s not it. I do. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be telling you now.”
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”<
br />
I sighed. “There was never a good time and well, I was scared. Scared of what you would think of me once you knew.”
He gave me a solemn look. “What would I think of you? You’re my cousin, my family. This doesn’t change that.”
“I know, but…”
His hand landed on my shoulder. “You never have to be scared of telling me anything. Okay, Rose? I’ll always have your back. Always.”
My heart warmed at his promise. Javi was the closest thing to a brother I had and now that my secret was out, there was nothing stand between us.
“You can’t tell anyone, Javi. Not even Shiloh. Promise.”
Distress flashed across his face.
“But, Rose. She would understand.”
“I know, but I’ll tell her when I’m ready.”
His eyes searched my face. “Okay. If that’s what you want. Does Grayson know?”
I nodded, guilt spreading through me. If he was hurt by my decision to tell Grayson before him, he didn’t show it.
Instead, he wrapped me into a tight embrace. I returned the hug, feeling so much better now that I wasn’t walking around carrying such a huge secret.
“No more secrets?”
“No more secrets,” I agreed.
Javi grinned. “So, that means you’ll tell me what Shiloh is going to get me for Christmas?”
I smacked him playfully on the shoulder. “No.”
He snorted. “So much for no more secrets.”
Before I could smack him again, he darted away and headed for the house. I paused to admire the setting sun one more time as it lit the beach with a peachy golden glow.
“Are you coming?” Javi called.
“Yeah. Be right there.”
Author’s Notes
This book was the hardest one I’ve ever written. There were more things I wanted to add that I couldn’t quite fit into this storyline and I really struggled with writer’s block the first half of this year. Last year, among the regular craziness of 2020, I lost my grandma and went through a really dark time of struggling with grief and unpacking everything that happened in 2020 with the pandemic, job loss, family stuff, and my own insecurities/mental health.
I started this year still in grieving and recovery mode and while I was ghostwriting and getting words out, I really struggled with finishing Rose’s story. It felt like a monumental task of wrapping up everything I had laid out. There are still things I wanted to explore and while I do have plans for spin off series (several) set in the same world, this was the end of this chapter of Rose’s story. Thank you for following Rose and her friends! Your support means the world to me.
