“Are you sure you’re okay? I’m here to talk if you need to, man. That’s what friends are for, after all.”
What the hell was he supposed to say? That he’d caused Aggie to cry, but couldn’t remember why?
No, that was a bad idea. Benji and Aggie were good friends—best friends.
Benji had buffed up enough to kick his ass if he wanted to, and he was not in the mood for any ass-kickings tonight.
“Uh, yeah. Uh, say, was, um, she...okay when you saw her?”
“Who, Ags? She was great. Laney’s been stressing about the whole wedding thing, but when Ags got here, she perked right up. I’m glad she came over—I was getting worried about your sister’s sanity.”
“Well, if Lydia’s wedding taught me anything, it’s that the planning for it can drive a lot of people insane,” he said, snorting. “I swear, I almost disowned her a few times.”
Of course, he’d never actually disown either of his sisters, but damn if weddings didn’t make a woman crazy. He hoped Laney’s was a little less eventful, given what had happened the last time a wedding happened in Prairie Town.
“I get what you’re saying, man. I totally get it,” Benji replied, chuckling. “But hey, I need to hop off and help Laney with supper. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t destroy your brain. You really need to be careful with that stuff.”
“I know. It was dumb,” he admitted. “I promise not to smoke an entire bag ever again.”
“Good. It’s better to pace it out over a few days. However, if you’re interested in getting some...”
“Maybe some other time, Ben.” Smiling to himself, he glanced in his rearview mirror as headlights came into view.
Damn. There went his heart again, acting stupid and racing like a rabbit at full speed.
As Aggie pulled up beside him, his smile grew bigger.
“She just got home,” he said, pushing his door open to get out. “Enjoy supper. Tell Laney I love her.”
“Will do, man. Bye.”
She’d barely managed to get out of the car when he approached her, and he didn’t even give her a chance to say anything. Scooping her up in his arms, he found her mouth with ease and kissed her passionately.
She couldn’t have been too upset with him, he decided, as her arms locked around his neck and she started kissing him back.
It was the type of kiss that left a person breathless; savage and tender at the same time. Her lips claimed his possessively and he couldn’t have been happier about it as the sound of her keys hitting the ground reached his ears.
Her heartbeat matched his as their bodies pressed together, and it was all he could do to refrain from sinking to the ground with her and making love right then and there.
It was overwhelming and scary as hell, but she made him so happy. When he was with her, nothing else mattered; the world instantly became perfect in her presence.
That wasn’t a feeling he ever wanted to give up, or lose over stupidity—especially his stupidity.
“Jeb,” she whispered, her eyes fluttering open as the kiss ended. “That was...wow. What was that for?”
“I’m sorry.” He blurted the words out before giving it any real thought. All he knew in that moment was he had to fix whatever he’d broken while blown off his ass. If she was upset with him, or hurt, then he needed to make it right. A kiss wasn’t going to make it go away, obviously, but it had to be a step in the right direction.
Right?
“Sorry?” She echoed, blinking. “What...for?”
“I don’t know...” Shrugging his shoulders, he released his grip on her and shoved his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. Staring at one another, he tried to shake away the awkwardness threatening to weigh him down.
Had he completely blew it out of proportion? Was she not upset with him? Was the image of her teary face something he’d made up?
No more pot for me, damn it.
Maybe he really was being stupid about it all. Maybe she had just wanted to go out and see her friends—people had those, didn’t they? Being around his equally stoned/drunk ass probably wasn’t as exciting as it appeared to be from his point of view, and he couldn’t even remember most of it anyway.
Damn.
Just damn. He was an idiot.
“Do you want to help me take these groceries in?” She asked, pulling him from his inner monologue of idiocy. “There are a few bags.”
“Absolutely,” he replied without hesitance. He was grateful she’d saved him from embarrassing himself further. God, he was dumb sometimes. “In the trunk?”
“Yes.” Bending down to retrieve her keys, she gave him that adorable smile of hers and blew some hair out of her face. “Here you go. I’ll go on in and get the oven ready.”
“What are we having?” He was thrilled at the thought of having dinner with her. All was not lost, after all.
“It’s a surprise, silly.” Her smile widened as she glanced towards the door and the dark front porch. It disappeared momentarily as she tilted her head to the side. “Were you going somewhere?”
“Nah. I thought I left my wallet in my truck.”
She gave him a look that said she didn’t believe him, and he didn’t blame her for it. In all of his years of being on the earth, and for those in which he’d carried a wallet, it only left his pocket when he was changing his pants.
“Oh. Well, did you find it?”
“Yep.” Patting his back pocket, he gave her a grin that he hoped was convincing enough, and she seemed satisfied. “Here.” He moved back to his truck and grabbed his keys from the ignition, tossing them to her. “You can use mine to get back inside; I’ll take care of the groceries.”
“Aw, thanks.” She beamed, and nothing had ever looked so beautiful. “See you inside!”
Watching as she ascended the steps and unlocked the door, he thanked the Higher Power for her return. He wasn’t really sure what he would have done if she’d left for good.
And it then it became obvious, as he watched her disappear inside, that he needed to ensure she never had a reason to disappear.
He had to convince her that he was worth sticking around for.
It was time to tell her how he felt, and he could only hope she felt the same way.
Chapter 12
Ags
Something was definitely in the air, and it wasn’t the tantalizing smell of the meal she was preparing either.
Ever since she’d gotten back from the grocery store, Jeb had been acting unusually warm towards her. She liked it—there wasn’t a doubt about that—but it made her curious about his motives.
After what had happened in her room earlier that day, it took a solid hour of talking to Benji to bring her back to her senses. Running away from Prairie Town because somebody loved her would have been the stupidest thing to do.
She loved him, too. Why was it so hard just to say that?
“Don’t toss it away just because you think you aren’t worth it, Ags. You are,” Benji had insisted. “I mean, look at me and Laney, yeah? I definitely don’t deserve that girl, but she loves me anyway. I’m lucky to have that. I’m marrying her.”
She could recall a time, not so long ago, when a similar conversation had taken place in the bathroom of their old apartment. He was definitely one of her very best friends; a person who would never lie to her or lead her astray.
If he could find that love and happiness, though he felt he didn’t deserve it, and was brave enough to take the plunge, why couldn’t she do the same?
Gran’s words echoed in her mind again as she stirred the sauce on the stove.
“Nobody gets placed on this earth without good reason, and everybody deserves happiness.”
Gods, if only she was still around. She’d know exactly what to do or say.
But how would she feel about me being in love with her grandson?
Her heart fluttered at the thought and another big, goofy smile found its way onto her lips. It felt so nice to feel this w
ay.
“Hey, do you need any help?”
Those strong, wonderful arms wrapped around her from behind and she instantly leaned against him, eyes closing.
“It’s almost done now,” she said, turning her head so his lips could find hers. It was weird, but she somehow sensed he was coming in for a kiss. She wanted all of those she could get.
“Good,” he murmured, pecking at her mouth gently. “Don’t forget to call Lydia after dinner, okay? She really wants to talk to you.”
“I know she does.”
They were having such a nice night together; she hated the thought of ruining it by calling Lydia back, but her best friend needed her. She couldn’t begin to imagine what it was like, either.
Lydia, the most amazing individual ever created, had somehow found herself becoming an insta-mom—a term she’d learned by reading a lot of books from Bookleberry Finn’s. Insta-anything was terrifying, but the stories she’d devoured like candy always ended with a happy ending.
Hopefully that meant Lydia and Callum wouldn’t have any issues welcoming Byron into their home, where he would grow up with the most incredible parents ever.
But that also meant that it would soon be time to say goodbye to De Casa Reynolds and return to her cramped apartment.
It figured though, really, getting used to living in such a nice place with close friends, only to have to leave.
And she also knew that meant saying goodbye to Jeb. He would return to his house, hopefully repaired, and there would be a couple of miles between them.
Having any sort of distance away from him wasn’t exactly an idea she was fond of.
Not at all.
The thought of being separated from him consumed her through their entire meal. Though she smiled and laughed at his jokes, it still weighed heavily on her heart as they shared smiles and flirty winks, a dull pain throbbing in her chest all the while.
Once their tummies were full and the kitchen was clean, she did as she’d promised and returned Lydia’s call. Jebson, meanwhile, disappeared upstairs.
“So, I guess this is just happening really fast,” Lydia said with a heavy sigh. “I thought I’d have more time to adjust to the idea, but the poor kid doesn’t have his mom anymore. He’s so sad, Ags. I don’t know what to do to make it better for him.”
Swaying back and forth on the porch swing with a gentle push of her feet now and then, she listened to her best friend’s worries and tried to think of the best thing to say.
But what could she say, really? Everybody dealt with death differently. When Gran passed away, Lydia had stayed in the room and cried for hours with her; Benji had retreated to his room to get stoned, and her? Well, she’d climbed up on the roof and prayed to Rhea, the Greek goddess of comfort and ease.
It helped her a little, but the pain of losing Gran was still fresh from time-to-time. She was, after all, the most influential woman she’d ever had in her life.
She’d saved her from a dark, miserable life.
“I know it’s hard, Honey,” she finally said after a moment of thought. “But you and Callum are, like, only the best couple in the world. If anybody can help get this kid through what’s going on right now, it’s the two of you.”
The soft sniffling on the other end of the line told her exactly what was happening, and she wished she could be there to hold her friend. If only she could comfort her in person instead of over the phone.
“I’m scared, Aggie. What if I’m not really cut out for this?”
“For what, Sugar? Being a stepmom?”
“Yes. What if...what if he grows up to resent me? What if he feels I somehow caused his mother’s death?”
“Lydia.” It stunned her to hear such words come out of her friend’s mouth. While Lydia had come up with bizarre scenarios in the past, she’d never quite weaved up anything this crazy.
“I know—it sounds stupid and far-fetched, but you never know what goes on in a kid’s head. Think of the timing, huh? I’ve only been here a few days, and now his mom’s dead? He,”—she sucked in a shaky breath and released it as a sob—“After she died he just kept asking for her. He can’t talk properly or anything, but he can make noises and I’d swear he was saying, ‘Mommy’, Ags. It broke my heart.”
“I can only imagine, sweetheart. But you can’t let thoughts like that consume you, okay? Maybe he will think it’s Callum’s fault. Or maybe he won’t blame anyone at all. He’s so young, Lydia. He probably won’t even remember any of this when he’s older.”
And she immediately regretted that last statement when Lydia began wailing. She sounded like a damn banshee.
“Oh, God!” She cried. “He’s going to forget his mother! That’s so terrible!”
“Lydia. Lydia! Listen to me, okay? Please?”
It took a few minutes, but after a lot of sniffling and hiccuping, she finally calmed down. “W-what?”
“As his stepmother, it’s going to be up to you to guide him out of the darkness, Lydia. You and Callum need to show him that he’s not alone; that’s what he needs right now.”
“You...you think he feels alone?” She asked, her voice breaking. “Oh, God. Of course, he feels alone. How selfish can I be? That poor baby has been in his room all night, probably wondering why I won’t come in there. Ugh! I’m the worst.”
“You are not the worst, Lydia. Stop that.” Rolling her eyes, she stood from the swing and made her way towards the other side of the porch, staring out towards the edge of the woods. “Callum’s been checking on him, right?”
“Duh. He wouldn’t leave his side if he had his choice. But I did make him come downstairs earlier to eat. Byron wouldn’t though. That poor baby...”
“That’s exactly right, Muffin. He’s a baby. His little mind works very differently from ours. Tomorrow morning he’ll probably be asking for pancakes, or whatever it is kids like these days.”
“Kids always like pancakes.” She laughed weakly.
“Good. Then you can fix him some, and then maybe you can take him to the park or something to help keep him distracted while Callum does the hard stuff.”
“The hard stuff, yeah,” she whispered. “God, Aggie. I just...I want to make sure I’m doing this right. I want to be a good stepmom.”
“I don’t really think there’s a wrong way of doing it, darling. There probably isn’t a parent alive, step or not, who questions if they’re doing it by the book. The only thing you can do is show that boy he’s loved and wanted.” Tears welled up in her eyes as she thought about her own upbringing; her mother’s face came to mind. “Remind him daily that you accept him for who he is and nothing will ever change that.”
“You’re so good at this, Ags. Thank you for listening to me,” Lydia said, sounding a little happier than only moments before. “I’m glad you called me back. It’s nice to hear your voice.”
“I’m glad I could help out, honey muffin. Anytime,” she promised, quickly wiping at her cheeks. “Call me tomorrow, okay? Let me know the arrangements for Shannon’s funeral. Jeb and I can travel to be there for you guys.”
“And miss out on renovating the town? No way. We’ll be okay, Ags. Seriously. I appreciate the gesture, but there’s really nothing you can do here. Her parents want her to be cremated; some of her ashes will be coming back to Prairie Town with us.”
“And where will you put those, exactly?” She asked, unable to stop herself.
“I have no idea. Callum will probably want to talk about it sooner or later. It’s another issue for another day. We’ve got enough on our plate already.” It was hard to miss the yawn she released, and that prompted her to look at the time on her illuminated screen. “Well, Aggie, I think I’m going to go now. I’ll definitely call tomorrow.”
“Okay, sweetie.”
“Tell Jeb I said goodnight and I love him. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, gorgeous.” Making a quick smooching noise, she watched the duration of the call begin to blink and sighed a few seconds later.
Her poor, poor Lydia.
Their situations were entirely different at the moment, yet they were somehow the same.
I need to be brave, too.
If only she could find the courage to tell Jeb the truth. If only those chapters of her life were easier to tell, and she wasn’t so afraid of his reaction.
I don’t want him to look at me differently.
It would wound her deeply, if not kill her, to have his gaze change from one of affection to disgust. There were too many people who had looked at her like that in the past; seeing it from him could have dire consequences and she knew it.
“Hey. How’d it go?”
Speak of the devil.
Turning away from the railing of the porch, she put on the biggest smile she possessed as her gaze landed on him.
He’d showered. She could tell because his hair was still damp, and he looked ridiculously sexy. Wearing nothing more than a pair of jogging pants that hung far too low on his hips, it gave her the perfect view of his sculpted-by-the-hands-of-the-gods body.
Just the sight of him sent her heart into a wild frenzy and it caused warmth to spread through her system as her upper teeth sank into her bottom lip.
“She’s going to be okay,” she finally replied. “It’s going to take some getting used to, for all of them.”
“But she’ll be good at it, don’t you think? Being a mom?”
She loved how concerned he was for Lydia. If nothing else, Jebson McIntosh was a good brother. Lydia and Laney were insanely lucky to have him.
I could have him, too, if I’d stop being such a coward.
“Hey.”
He was closer now and she wasn’t sure how she’d missed that. The close proximity of his body to hers sent tingles down her spine, and her stomach went into a fit of flutters as she tilted her head back to peer up at him.
“Are you okay?” His eyes darted back and forth between hers as his hand rested against her arm. “Christ, Aggie. You’re freezing.”
“I am?”
“Yeah,” he said, before he started rubbing his hands up and down her arms. “Goosebumps everywhere! It’s not even all that chilly out here right now...” His voice drifted off as his eyebrows pinched together. “You aren’t feeling sick, are you?”
One of These Days (Prairie Town Book 4) Page 14
