“I see.”
“And while I was picking it up, I had an idea about how you can see your brother without anyone at the Guild knowing about it.”
“Oh.” He has my full attention now. “What is it?”
“You won’t like it. You’ll most definitely say it’s too dangerous, but it will work. Trust me.”
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
I clench and unclench my fists as anxiety builds inside me. “It’s been half an hour.”
“I know,” Chase says. “We agreed we’d give it at least an hour, didn’t we?”
“I know, but I thought he’d be here by now.”
“Relax and have some patience.”
“It’s a little difficult to relax when we’re hiding inside the Guild.”
Through the dim light in the back corner of the library, Chase looks at me. “Nothing’s going to go wrong. And even if it somehow does, you and I can easily fight our way out of here together.”
I pull my knees closer and lean my head back against the wall. I let out a long, slow breath. “This is just a little bit insane. You know that, right?”
“Yes. And that’s exactly why we’re safe,” he says. “Because no one would ever expect it.”
“Let’s hope not.”
Chase’s brilliant plan involved me using my Griffin Ability to help us walk right into the Guild without anyone ever knowing. I was terrified to come back here, but getting inside was as easy as Chase said it would be. My illusion made the guard in the entrance room think he was seeing two of my classmates walking in here this morning inside of Chase and me. To get safely to the library, I projected images of empty space onto the people we passed, which took a little more concentration but seemed to work fine. I kept my hood up to conceal my hair and face from anyone who might see us on a surveillance device, and we walked at an unhurried pace, despite my instinct to run.
On the way up to the library, Chase stopped a messenger dwarf and asked him to deliver a note to Ryn. Presumably the dwarf thought Chase was just another guardian because he took the note without question. Chase’s initial plan was for us to go straight to Ryn’s office and talk to him there. That would cut out the need for Vi to find me. But I didn’t think that option was nearly as safe as meeting at the back of the library where hardly anyone ever goes. Ryn’s office door is usually open. His team members come and go, along with other Council members. It would be far too easy for someone to walk in and see us. And even if we could easily fight our way out, Ryn would still be in trouble.
My right heel bounces up and down. “If we hear someone, I’m going to hide us with an illusion, okay? In case it isn’t him.”
Chase nods.
“What if someone’s checking all messages going to Ryn? They wouldn’t let this one through. It’s far too suspicious.”
“If the message came from outside the Guild, then it would probably be checked, but I highly doubt they’re checking internal messages.”
My leg continues bouncing.
“Calla.” Chase puts his hand on my knee to stop my leg moving. “Do you really want someone coming back here to find out why the floor is vibrating?”
I roll my eyes—then I realize his hand is still on my knee. I give him a pointed look and he quickly removes it. “What if Ryn doesn’t figure out what the message means?” I say. “Or maybe he can’t get hold of Vi at the moment because she’s on Kaleidos, so the message doesn’t help him at all.”
“He’ll figure it out,” Chase says. “It wasn’t exactly cryptic. And your brother’s supposed to be intelligent, isn’t he?”
Something in Chase’s tone tells me he doesn’t think very much of Ryn’s intelligence—and that’s when I realize something. I turn and look at him properly. “You’ve met my brother.” It comes out sounding like an accusation, which I suppose it sort of is. “I mean, aside from when he was captured and marked. You met him before that, because of Violet.” I was so shocked to discover that Vi knew Chase back before The Destruction that I never asked if Ryn knew him too.
Chase keeps his eyes averted. “Yes, I’ve met him. We had a few … less than friendly encounters.”
“Well,” I mutter. “This is just wonderful.”
Chase seems to decide it’s in his best interests to keep quiet, so we sit in awkward silence until we hear footsteps coming our way. We stand quietly as I let go of the mental barrier keeping my thoughts in. I picture the wall behind us and focus hard on pushing the image outward onto whoever’s about to walk around the nearest book shelf.
Ryn. And Violet.
I pull the image back and raise the protection around my mind. They see us—and within a second, two sets of weapons are pointed at Chase. He raises his hand, but it’s more of a greeting than a surrender. “Hi,” he says. “I’m flattered, but that isn’t necessary.”
“He’s right,” I say, moving in front of him. “He isn’t who he used to be. He helped me get away from all those guardians who were chasing after me, and he gave me somewhere safe to stay.” My eyes move to Vi. “That’s why you haven’t been able to find me until now.”
Still looking uncertain, they lower their weapons. The moment Ryn’s bow vanishes, I run and throw my arms around him. “I’m so relieved you’re okay,” he says as he hugs me tightly. “But are you crazy?” He pulls back and takes hold of my shoulders. “What are you doing here? And with him! You!” He points at Chase, then takes in a deep breath, as though barely managing to hold back from throwing himself at the guy. “You should be in prison for everything you did. You should be dead. That’s what was supposed to happen when you were stabbed with that—”
“Ryn!” I whisper furiously. “Stop it! That’s not why we’re here.”
“It’s fine,” Chase says. “He’s right. I should be dead or in prison. I should be suffering every day for all the pain I caused others. If guilt counts, then I’m suffering every day already.”
I look back and forth between the two of them, waiting for some kind of explosion on Ryn’s side and hoping it doesn’t come. When neither of them says anything further, I step in front of Ryn again, trying to bring his attention back to me by answering his question. “No, I’m not crazy. I thought the Guild might somehow be monitoring your house. And our house. Or that someone might be following you to see if you met up with me somewhere. So it seemed like the safest place to talk to you would be here. And Chase … well, like I said, he’s different now. He explained everything that’s happened since we all thought he died.” I look over my shoulder at him. He’s watching Vi, and she’s staring back with a stunned expression.
“I know it will never be enough,” he says quietly, “but I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry for everything.”
“I thought I killed you,” she whispers.
He presses his lips together before being able to answer. “I’ll admit there were many times I wished you had.”
“So … you really are Nate again? There’s no part of Tharros left in you?”
“There’s nothing left of him. You may not have killed me, but you certainly eliminated his power that night. I, uh, I go by Chase now. It’s my surname.”
I turn back to Ryn. “So you obviously got my note then.”
He holds up the piece of paper with the words ‘She can find me now’ written in Chase’s handwriting. “This was a big risk,” he says.
“I know, but no one else would have known what it means if they’d seen it.”
“I guess not. Anyway, it worked. I contacted Vi immediately. She hasn’t been at Kaleidos since this happened, so she was at home. She searched for you, then came straight here so she could also see you.”
I glance at Vi again, now speaking quietly with Chase. I wonder if he’s giving her the shortened version of what he told me. I look back at Ryn and say, “I … I’m sorry I’m putting you in such an awkward position by being here. I know you made an oath to the Guild and the Seelie Queen, and I’m a criminal and you’re obligated to turn m
e in. So if you need me to stay away from you then I—”
“Calla, listen to me.” He grasps my shoulders once more. “You are my sister and I will never hand you over to these people. You’ve done nothing wrong and you don’t deserve to be hunted like this. If I’m going to stay on the Council—and I think I should, not only so that I know what they’re up to, but so that I can attempt to influence things in the right direction—then it will have to appear as though I’ve cut ties with you. But you will always be my sister and I will always do everything in my power to protect you.”
I nod in gratitude, blinking away the moisture in my eyes. “Thank you.”
“If anything,” he adds, “it’s him I should be handing over. He’s right here. Inside the Guild. Every logical, responsible part of my brain is screaming at me to stun him and drag him down to the detainment area. Then we’ll finally have justice. We’ll finally have Lord Draven.”
I give him a sad smile. “But you won’t. Draven is gone. This is someone else.”
Ryn shakes his head, his eyes downcast and his brow furrowed, as if this is something he can’t quite accept.
“Have they questioned you about me?” I ask in an attempt to bring this conversation back to the situation at hand. “Are you in trouble?”
“They have, but I’m not in trouble. I told them I didn’t know about your Griffin Ability. Since we weren’t brought up in the same household, it was a believable story.”
“But didn’t they compel you to tell the truth?”
“They did. And I chose my words extremely carefully.”
“But … surely you can’t lie, no matter how careful your words are?”
“They don’t actually know what you can do, Cal. Because of all the stories about strange things happening to people around you, and because of the dragon disease they’ve never come across before, they believe you have the ability to cause illness in others. As long as I kept that very specific detail in mind, I was able to truthfully answer that I didn’t know you had that Griffin Ability.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “So that’s what it means to twist the truth. But what about that giant dragon illusion I created in the foyer? They must have realized it wasn’t real.”
“They decided it must be connected to the dragon disease, as if it was a hallucination people saw once they were sick. They thought you were trying to make everyone sick at the same time. After you got away and everyone had calmed down, they gave a drop of that cure to everyone, just in case you had somehow cast this unknown sickness spell over the entire Guild.”
I close my eyes for a moment. “It makes me feel ill to know they believe all these terrible things about me. They’ll never accept that I only ever wanted to be one of them, will they?”
Ryn shakes his head, his expression sad. “Probably not. They don’t trust Griffin Abilities, so they’ll never trust you.”
Anger flares up inside me, but I push it aside. There are more important things to talk about than my current feelings for the Guild. “Is Dad okay? Have they questioned him as well?”
“Dad is … in a little more trouble than I am. He’ll probably wind up having to pay a gigantic fine for not registering you on the Griffin List, since the law states that he should have done that as soon as he became aware of your ability. But hopefully it won’t be any worse for him than that.”
“Ugh, this is all such a mess.” I run my hands through my hair, pushing it away from my face. “All those poor people who died. And the real criminal is still out there! Why is the Guild being so useless?” Okay, so I guess I couldn’t keep my feelings contained after all. “They’re supposed to be the good guys who fix all the problems, and instead they’re—”
“Shh.” Ryn holds his hand up. Vi and Chase stop talking. All four of us look toward the bookshelves as footsteps approach the back of the library. I quickly picture an empty space here, wiping away the image of four people and their shadows. It’s such a simple projection, but I concentrate fiercely on it, making sure not to drop it for a second. The assistant librarian reaches the end of the row, searches a shelf briefly before pulling a book out, and leaves without a glance in our direction.
We remain frozen until her footsteps are gone. “That was close,” I whisper.
“Well, not really,” Ryn says. “Your illusions are pretty good. I couldn’t even see myself standing here for a while.”
“See?” Chase says to me with a smile. “I told you nothing would go wrong with this plan.” Then he goes back to telling Vi whatever he was telling her before the librarian showed up.
Ryn glares at Chase, as though he can’t believe the guy has the audacity to agree with him on something. He puts his hand on my arm and lowers his voice. “Can you honestly say that you trust him?”
I bite my lip as I try to figure that one out. I told Chase I didn’t know if I’d ever trust him again, but then I took him up on his offer to stay at the mountain, and I agreed to go through with today’s crazy plan. “Since I met him, he’s only ever tried to help me. He’s the one who found my mother and returned her to the Guild, and he’s saved me from death on more than one occasion. So … I think I do trust him.” With my life, at least, if not my heart. That will remain firmly guarded from now on.
With a resigned sigh, Ryn says, “Then I suppose I’ll have to somehow find it in myself to trust him as well. Doesn’t seem possible at this point, but I can work on it.”
“Thank you. But Ryn …” I look down as the fear and uncertainty I keep pushing aside threaten to overwhelm me. “I don’t know what to do now,” I whisper. “Everything I really wanted is gone, and neither of the options ahead of me are ones I want to choose. I could turn myself in to the Guild, but even if they do eventually figure out that I’m not the one responsible for the dragon disease, they’ll still tag me because of my Griffin Ability. I’ll never truly be free. Where will I work? What will I do? The Griffin List is public and no one will want to hire me for anything. And if I don’t turn myself in, then I’ll be on the run for the rest of my life. And there’s still the question of what I’d actually do with that life.”
“Hey.” Ryn takes my hand in his. “You’ve been through a lot of unpleasantness in your life, and you’ve somehow never let it get you down. You can get through this too. You’ll figure something out.”
“But this is the thing I wanted more than anything else, and now I’ll never have it.”
After a pause, Ryn says, “Was it the Guild you really wanted, or was it what the Guild represents?”
I frown, not entirely sure where he’s going with that question. “Isn’t it the same thing?”
Ryn shrugs as he pulls his amber from his pocket. “I guess you’ll have to figure that out.” He looks down at the amber’s screen and reads a message. “Someone’s looking for me. I need to get back downstairs.”
“Okay. And take a book with you so it looks like you had a reason for coming up here.”
Ryn smiles. “Of course. And just one more thing.” He leans closer to me. “I don’t want to know exactly where you’re staying in case I’m interrogated again, but … is it with him?”
Terrific. Hello, awkwardness. “We’re both staying with a friend of his, so you don’t have to worry about anything inappropriate, Ryn. It’s not like I’m shacking up with the ex-dark lord.”
“Look, I know you had feelings for him before, so I was just checking if—”
“You have nothing to worry about, Ryn. Didn’t you say you need to go?”
“Right, yes. V, are you ready to go? Someone’s looking for me downstairs.”
“Oh, yes, okay,” Vi says. “I think Nate—Chase—has told me everything important.”
Chase nods. “And … congratulations.” He gestures toward Vi’s stomach, where a slight bump is now visible. “I’m glad things worked out for the two of you.”
Ryn frowns. Vi smiles, then hugs me quickly and says, “I’m so happy you’re all right. I didn’t want to go back to Kaleid
os until we knew for sure you were okay.”
Chase steps closer to me. “Did you give Ryn the amber?”
“Oh, I forgot.” I remove a thick rectangle of amber from my hoodie pocket and hand it to Ryn. He runs his thumb over the rough surface and raises an eyebrow.
“This looks like something you used to have, V.”
“Shut up,” she says. “My amber wasn’t nearly that old.”
“Yeah, this one’s practically an antique,” I tell them. “It’s from back in the day when they’d make two devices from the same piece of amber, and those ambers could only send messages to each other. It’s so old that tracking spells don’t work on it. I’ve got one and now you have the other, so we can safely communicate.”
“This is yours?” Ryn asks, looking up at Chase.
“It belongs to a friend. He’s been around a while. He’s practically an antique too.”
“Well … thanks,” Ryn says with some awkwardness. He takes Vi’s hand.
As the two of them walk away, I hear her whisper, “That was so weird.”
Chase looks at me. “She’s right. That was weird. The last time I saw her, she put a sword through my chest.”
I push my hands into my hoodie pocket. “You kinda deserved it, though.”
“Yes,” he says with a nod. “I did.” He tilts his head back and stares at the library ceiling. “I wasn’t sure if she’d be here. I wasn’t quite prepared. So many things to say, so much to apologize for.”
I feel as though I should say something now, but I’m not sure what. It’s strange thinking of him and Vi and what they meant to each other once upon a time, years ago. It makes me feel small and insignificant, as though I’m standing on the outside of someone else’s story looking in. It’s the same feeling I got walking into the Guild, watching all these people who have the one thing I want but will never have: the guardian life.
“Let’s go,” I say quietly, walking forward and trying to shrug off this feeling of aloneness. “I don’t want to be here anymore.”
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