Dear Diary

by Lacey Heart

  I finally snap my eyes back to his and my heart flutters while my breath catches in my throat as he gives me a menacing smile. A smile that tells me to stay as far away from this beautiful monster as physically possible.

  In an ideal world Cole Ashford would have a very valid point, but meeting anyone within Riverstone isn’t all that high up on my agenda. Actually, it isn’t even on it. But that doesn’t deter him. He’s clearly the type of guy who’s used to getting his own way all the damn time. I’d like to say I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’m really not, and there’s no way I’ll be bowing down to his demands any time soon. Looks like he’ll have to go and find some other desperate chick to throw his demands at.

  “I’m not going, so why don’t you do us both a favor and quit asking.” Venom is laced in my tone, but this only seems to heighten his amusement. He’s a sadistic son of a bitch and I’m growing real tired of his bullshit real fast. And it doesn’t help that I have a multitude of unwanted feelings swimming through my body.

  But one thing is clear: Cole Ashford isn’t and won’t be part of my plan—period. It doesn’t matter how distracted I am by his rugged beauty, because Riverstone isn’t my forever home.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  AVERY

  “You did what?”

  I close my eyes for what feels like the hundredth time as Emily screeches the question down my ears over and over again and I take in a deep lungful of air as I try my hardest to zone her out.

  Emily met me outside Chemistry just as she promised. The same as she usually does, and it was totally stupid of me to fill her in on the recent events of the past two hours. I need to talk to someone and get it all off my chest, but now I can see that was nothing but a massive mistake on my part.

  I have never seen anyone so hyped up. “I told him he could stick his party up his ass.” I tell her again. Emily watches me wide eyed for a moment, her glasses pushed way up past her eyebrows before she finally relaxes her shoulders and allows the air to leave her lungs.

  “Why would you go and do something like that?”

  “Because I don’t want to go.” I tell her truthfully and I don’t understand why she’s getting so worked up about it. It’s only a party. “It’s not a big deal, Emily. Plus, I’d rather walk barefoot over hot coal than spend a night surrounded by a bunch of drunken people who I don’t know.”

  I make my way down the corridor toward my locker, shoulders set and determined to stick to my decision—because it was the right one, and I can hear Emily shuffling behind me. Maybe she doesn’t even know she’s making such a big deal out of nothing. But either way, a huge part of me wishes that I’d never brought it up in conversation.

  “Avery, listen to me. If Cole Ashford—'the Cole Ashford’ has invited you somewhere then you go. No questions asked. Those be the rules.”

  “Screw the rules.” What kind of stuff is this chick on? “I’m not about to go and do something just because some arrogant homeboy told me to.”

  Emily’s eyes grow even wider and she holds her hand against my locker preventing me from opening the damn thing. “Avery, this isn’t just any old homeboy. This is Cole freaking Ashford! He’s the goddamn king of this school.” She mouths back at me, full of excitement and if she’s not careful I’m worried she might explode at any given second.

  “So you keep telling me.”

  “He doesn’t just invite random people to these events. He only chooses the elite. The people that matter. Cole only associates with the best of the best, and rumor has it he’s just ended things with Mia, too.”

  “Mia, who?”

  “Mia Campbell. She’s a real mean bitch and head of the cheer squad too. But my guess is she’s a little delicate right now after losing her crown.” Emily opens her mouth and gasps, and I look over my shoulder to check nothing major has just happened, but I find the corridor totally empty except for the two of us. “Oh my god. Why didn’t I work this out sooner?”

  “Okay, now you’ve lost me.”

  Emily cackles like an evil queen and to be honest I don’t know whether I should run or silently turn and walk away. “Cole Ashford wants you to be his new Queen.”

  “Oh, shut up. You know you’re acting really strange today. Have you taken something?”

  “I haven’t taken anything.” Her eyes narrow and she looks offended. Shit, when will I learn to think before I speak? It’s a lot harder trying to figure these guys out, that’s for sure.

  “Seriously, you’re acting crazy. And as for Cole, he can do one and I’ll as good as tell him myself.”

  “Well, you’re a hell of a lot braver than me, and hell of a lot stupid too.”

  “Why?” I know Emily doesn’t mean to offend me, the same way I didn’t mean to offend her, but one thing I’m not is stupid.

  “Look. Cole Ashford is the most popular guy in school. He’s the school team’s captain, and possibly the hottest with Jake Parker coming in a close second, but that’s a whole other story.”

  Eww. I almost vomit in my mouth at the mention of Jake but I choose to keep my opinion to myself. At least for now. It’s seriously wrong to think about anyone, especially the closest thing to a friend that I have in Riverstone, having the hots for my estranged cousin. It’s down-right nasty.

  “Are we done here?” I ask, quickly losing any patience I had left. “School finished fifteen minutes ago yet we’re still stood around.”

  “You don’t get it, do you?” Emily shakes her head at me and pushes a loose strand of hair behind her ears, and to look at her you’d think she was one of the quiet, innocent ones. But it seems I’m learning better. “Any girl within this school will tell you; when Cole Ashford talks to you, you talk back. If he ever decides to invite you to one of his parties, which are basically the holy grail for the youth of Riverstone, then you go. You agree with whatever he says—no questions asked.”

  I open my mouth to argue my case and quickly close it again. What’s the point? It’s useless trying to speak to her about this. Emily has her opinion on the matter, and I have mine, so I guess the two of us are just going to have to agree to disagree and put this stupid argument behind us. But I do feel like I need to highlight one thing, just so we don’t get confused on this matter again.

  “You might live that way, Emily, but that isn’t how I live mine. I have my own voice and my own mind for a reason and I’m not afraid to use them. I’m not the type of girl to follow the crowds. I make my own path in life, and if people don’t want to join me, then that’s fine too. And I will never roll over for anyone, and I don’t care who they are.”

  “That’s fair, but all I will say is more fool you.” Her voice is heavy with pity, and she looks at me like I’ve just committed a massive crime, one that no one will be able to help me with. I continue to watch the girl stood before me with total fascination as she inhales before puffing out her cheeks and her face turns a deep red hue. A couple of seconds pass and she finally shakes her head in disbelief before pushing her glasses back up her nose. “Okay, well if making enemies is your thing, then I think you’re off to a brilliant start.”

  Whoa.

  Hold the hell up.

  I definitely didn’t take Emily to be some kind of crazy ass people following diva queen. I thought she was the shy and quiet type, but obviously I got that wrong. Talk about being overdramatic. I only said I didn’t want to go to his stupid party. It’s not like I wished him dead or anything, is it? But then I guess that could always change, but at least I now know not to express those feelings to this Cole crusher.

  “I really don’t want to go to his party, Emily. It isn’t my thing. And I really don’t see how me not going is going to make me an enemy of anyone. Maybe you’re overthinking it a bit too much?” I question her, hoping this will be an end to it, but even though her face has returned to a normal shade of ivory, she still shrugs her shoulders at me as if to say, ‘it’s your funeral’.

  “Maybe, but I’m just trying to be a good friend here and g
ive you the heads up. You’ve only just arrived in Riverstone.”

  “Is this where I’m supposed to say thank you?” I snap at her unintentionally. I know it’s not really her fault that my back is up, but she’s the closest thing I have to a target. I know deep down that, yes, she is trying to be a good friend, but I’m so done with hearing about Cole Ashford.

  “No, I don’t want your thanks, at all. I just know what he’s like. I’ve seen how he acts when he doesn’t get his own way, and believe me, it isn’t a pretty sight.” If Emily’s words are supposed to scare me then they aren’t having the desired effect. If anything, it’s making me feel a whole lot better about telling him where to go. “Plus, if he actively sought you out—the new girl—who isn’t even part of the cheer team,” she winces at me when I narrow my eyes at her, but she continues anyway. “Sorry, but if you’re not on the squad then you’re practically a nobody. That’s just how it is here. But still, even with that, Cole wants you there, and that’s something most girls around here can only dream about.”

  “And that’s exactly why I won’t be going.” I tell her flatly and slam my locker door shut. “I’m here to finish my senior year, and it’s not by choice. And if I have to be here then you can bet your ass that I’m not wasting my time by spending it with an arrogant asshole.”

  Emily focuses her eyes on me again, a look of shock and awe etched onto her face and I shrug, totally at a loss for what else she wants me to say. “Chemistry class is about as much of him as I can handle, and that’s only because I don’t have a choice. Plus, I’m sure the whole of Riverstone doesn’t evolve around him.”

  “Um, yeah… now, that’s where you’re wrong.”

  Now it’s her turn to shrug at me. Even as the words left her lips, I could taste the sourness of defeat on my tongue, but I just about manage to keep a straight face. I’m perfecting my ‘I couldn’t give a damn’ persona on the outside, but internally it’s a whole other ball game.

  If I’m being honest, my heart skipped a beat when Cole asked me to come to his party. I mean, out of a whole school of desperate chicks he’d somehow singled me out and invited me instead. I guess that’s what tingled my senses and made me suspicious about the whole damn thing.

  Nobody wants anything for free these days, especially hot, horny boys like Cole Ashford.

  But, fortunately for me, I’m a hell of a lot smarter than most people give me credit for and there’s no way I’ll be falling for his stupid little mind games.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  COLE

  “Fuck Mia.”

  Pucker roars down my ears while Jake eggs him on from the other side and I can’t help but snicker. Pucker might look like a strong Icelandic god but in truth, when it comes to his emotions, he’s nothing but a soft-ass pussy. We know it, and Jessica sure as hell knows it too.

  “Been there, done that and now I think about it, sex with Mia wasn’t really anything to shout home about.” I confess. Obviously at the time it was hot, but now I look at her all I can see is a desperate bitch out to please just so she can make a name for herself in this town. Well, she can go and make a name for herself elsewhere because there’s no way she’ll be making one through my name.

  “Shit, Ashford. So, what you’re saying is Mia Campbell is nothing but a basic bitch?”

  “She’s more basic than a fucking vanilla shake, man. The guys of Riverstone are fucking welcome to her.” They both laugh, but Tommy’s laugh doesn’t meet his eyes. I’ve known this guy since I was in kindergarten and I know something isn’t right. He’s acting weird, all twitchy and shit like he’s on the mother of all come downs. “But something tells me Mia isn’t the one who’s worrying you, Pucker.”

  I keep my voice low so the rest of Monty’s can’t hear us, but he still doesn’t answer me straight away. Instead, he keeps his head down, keeping in whatever’s eating him up inside.

  “Chick’s are so overrated anyway, man.” Jake shrugs next to us and thankfully that seems to snap Tommy out of his funk.

  He’s quick to turn his head to Jake and snaps, “And how the fuck would you know, Parker? The only dick wetting you get is in your dreams.”

  “Fuck you.” Jake hurls back at him and elbows him in the ribs, which angers Tommy and he reaches over and pulls him into a headlock.

  “You two bitches want to quit it?” I ask but neither of them seems to hear me. They’re only interested in coming out on top as usual.

  “Hey, maybe that new chick would be into you. She looks pretty desperate.” Tommy sputters over Jake’s head while he tries to wrestle his way out of his grip.

  My head snaps to Tommy at the mention of Avery and my stomach suddenly feels like it’s lost all sense of gravity. A mix of excitement and rage flutter deep inside, slowly festering under the surface. “Who’s that?” I ask, desperate to know more and I struggle to keep my voice even while trying to act dumb.

  “Avery Parker.” Tommy says. “Don’t tell me you haven’t seen her around school yet. Gotta admit, she’s quite the mysterious one and she doesn’t talk much.”

  What the fuck? How does Tommy know all about her all of a sudden? Something fierce and possessive consumes me and before I can stop myself, I blurt out, “Oh, Avery. She’s old news, man. I thought you were talking about some other new chick.” I take a pull on my beer and add, “Rumor has it that she’s already spoken for anyways.”

  “She is?” Both Tommy and Jake say in unison.

  “Yeah, but I don’t think she wants it broadcasting to the whole town so keep your goddamn voices down.” I warn them and I don’t even know why I said it. It’s not like I can un-say it now, so I need to change the subject and fast, but it seems the guys have other ideas.

  “Fuck. She isn’t messing around, is she? My bet’s on Brett.”

  “Brett Wilson?” Jake finally escapes Tommy’s grasp and he’s flustered. Most probably from being retained by Tommy, but he also looks mad at the prospect of Avery dating Brett. I’m not sure what it would have to do with him, but each to their own, I guess.

  “What’s it to you?” Tommy jabs him again and this doesn’t improve Jake’s mood one bit. “So, you do want to fuck her. Jeez, man. Who knew you had it in you?”

  “Shut the fuck up, Tommy.” Jake warns.

  “What the fuck, man. Are you blushing?” Tommy continues to jibe him. Usually I’d step in, break it up but I’m too shocked to even say anything. Jake’s been going after Avery and none of us even knew about it?

  “I’m warning you, Tommy. You keep her name out of your goddamn mouth, and you better keep your dick in your pants around her too.”

  “Wow.” Tommy turns to face me and excitement dances in his eyes. Everyone who knows Tommy knows never to tell him not to do something because he’ll sure as hell go and do it anyway just to prove to everyone that he could. “Parker’s got it bad.”

  Something clicks with Tommy’s words and my curious eyes fall and rest on Jakes. “Parker?” I question. “As in the same Parker as this new chick?”

  “Uh-huh.” Jake blows out his cheeks before grabbing his bottle from the side and he narrows his eyes at Tommy. “Avery’s my cousin. As in mine and Jessica’s cousin. So you better make sure you leave Avery out of your bullshit games.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  AVERY

  Dear Diary,

  I thought the silence would feel weird and I’d be a little freaked out, but I’ve actually enjoyed having the farmhouse all to myself.

  Maya’s kept out of my way, making sure she only checks on me from time to time. No doubt after my mom’s called or to make sure I’ve been eating the endless amounts of food she’s made for me.

  I’ve had a couple of missed calls from my mom, but I just can’t bring myself to talk to her.

  It’s not like I have anything to say to her. We don’t have any kind of bond or relationship and it’s draining what little life I have out of me trying to force one.

  My bedroom door bursts open and when I look up,
I find Jessica stood in front of me, down at the foot of my bed. She stands with her long legs a part, her hands rested on her hips and she looks majorly pissed.

  “Um, hey! I wasn’t expecting to see you.” I say as I slowly shuffle up the bed to make room for her to sit down but she decides to pace my room instead.

  “Well, you would if you’d been bothered to answer your phone.” She huffs, throwing her hair back over her shoulders and I can’t help but roll my eyes at her. She’s so freaking dramatic and I’m so glad I missed out on that part of the gene pool.

  Reluctantly I reach out and see twenty missed calls from her, and I know I should kind of feel bad, but I don’t. I switched my cell to silent after my mom’s third attempt to call me and I won’t apologize for it either. “Is there a problem? Some pandemic that I should know about?”

  “A problem?” she squeals back at me and I’m surprised my window doesn’t shatter from the impact. “I swear I’m gonna end up pulling my hair out if I don’t get this sorted.”

  “Ouch. That doesn’t sound like much fun.” I reply and the sarcasm falls heavy on my voice. I wouldn’t have been able to hide it even if I tried. But then Jessica’s hair seems to mean quite a lot to her so whatever has happened must be pretty bad.

  “Maybe I can help?” I offer, hoping to stop her from pacing up and down my carpet before she burns a goddamn hole in it. My mother would freak, and I so don’t need her on my case anymore than she already is. On the inside I’m desperately praying to everything that’s holy that she’ll say no. After all, how can someone like me try to help someone else when I can’t even figure my own life out. Plus, I’m fairly certain her issues are much bigger than little old me.

  “You?” Jessica stops pacing and her full attention focuses on me. Her eyes grow wide, swimming with disbelief before narrowing slightly. Then as if a thought has just occurred to her, she steps closer to me. “You… actually, Avery, I think you can.” A small smile plays on her lips and I’m quick to regret my offer. “Yes. You can be my little distraction.”