Dear Diary

by Lacey Heart

  All of a sudden as if he senses my presence, his eyes leave Mia’s and land on mine and every single hair on the back of my neck stands to attention as chills run down my spine.

  Cole’s black eyes pierce into mine and I know he sees me—all of me. He doesn’t look away when Mia kisses him and I watch on as he kisses her back.

  I know right in this moment that I’m in big trouble. I know because even though I know he’s watching me while kissing her, a strange and unwelcome feeling hammers in my chest and for a crazy split-second, I desperately want to be the girl he’s kissing.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  COLE

  One second Avery was right in front of me, just the way I wanted, and she was watching me with a hunger I’ve never witnessed before, and then the next, she was gone—like she never fucking existed.

  What the fuck?

  I swear I need my head checking. Avery Parker is out of bounds. I know that. Jake said as much, yet she was right in front of me. She was there for the fucking taking and what did I do? I made out with Mia right in front of her face.

  I’m a sadistic son of a bitch.

  I know it’s wrong but the feeling of watching her melt under my gaze had me harder than a fucking rock. I knew in that very moment that I wanted Avery Parker like I’ve never wanted anyone before, and I wanted to ruin her.

  “Saturday was good, huh?”

  I turn to see Tommy walking through the game room wearing nothing but his boxers and he looks like he’s the motherfucker who got the cream. “You and Jessica made friends, then?” I smirk back at him and I’m glad someone’s feeling good.

  “Oh, we definitely made friends and then some.” He slaps me hard on the shoulder, chuckling as he falls down onto the chair in front of me. “But let’s not talk about me. How’s things with you and Mia? You good? You sure looked pretty close from where I was standing.”

  “Man, she was dry-fucking you in front of the whole school. Talk about marking her territory.” Jake laughs as he falls down into the opposite chair.

  “Fuck you.” I tell them both. I feel shitty, and I know I shouldn’t have led her on. It was nothing but a dick-ish move on my part, but I needed to prove to myself that Avery wasn’t as deep under my skin as I first thought, but then that didn’t go to plan either.

  No. it well and truly backfired and now I can’t remove the image of her big hazel eyes out of my head. “Mia and I are done, so don’t start making it into something it’s not.”

  “Hey… it’s not us you need to be convincing.” Tommy snickers and an evil glint sparkles in his eyes. “She told Jess you were back on and that she knew you’d see sense eventually.”

  “She did, huh?” Anger ripples through my body and I suddenly realize this whole shit storm is Tommy’s fault. If he wasn’t so goddamn pussy-whipped he would have had the balls to tell Jessica that Mia wasn’t welcome, and the she might not have showed her face. “Well, Pucker. Looks like this is on you then. So, you better fix it.” I warn.

  He looks confused, but I don’t care. My main focus is seeking out Avery and trying to find out what makes her tick.

  One way or another I will get her, and I don’t care who I have to take down to make that happen.

  COPYRIGHT

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Lacey Heart holds exclusive rights to this work.

  Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.

  Copyright © 2020 by Lacey Heart

  Formatted by Bookaholic Formatting

  Books by Lacey Heart

  Damaged & Destroyed

  Reckless: A Damaged & Destroyed Novella #1

  Amazon UK: https://amzon.to/2HZNCPX

  Amazon US: https://amzn.to/2DZzAd8

  Ruthless: A Damaged & Destroyed Novella #2

  Amazon UK: https://amzn.to/2Db3ieo

  Amazon US: https://amzn.to/2DhaZQ5

  Bully Me

  One Night Only – A bully Me Companion Novella #0.5

  Amazon UK: https://amzn.to/34vDdCR

  Amazon US: https://amzn.to/2LqJsQJ

  Bully Me This: Bully Me #1

  Amazon UK: https://amzn.to/2YpcmbS

  Amazon US: https://amzn.to/2YEAI2h

  Bully Me That: Bully Me #2

  Amazon UK: https://amzn.to/2MeV2yX

  Amazon US: https://amzn.to/2Mcg1lK

  Dear Diary: Tales from Riverstone High

  January:

  Amazon UK: https://amzn.to/2MldSD1

  Amazon US: https://amzn.to/2VfTw2n

  Contents

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  PRE-ORDER DEAR DIARY: APRIL:

  BULLY ME THIS:

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  CHAPTER ONE

  AVERY

  Dear Diary,

  Coming to Riverstone was positively by far the worst thing I have ever done. Like ever.

  It totally exceeds crushing on Luke Dunlop—the cool kid back home, and how desperate I used to be for his attention—for him to notice me. I’d take the humiliation in a heartbeat and wear it like a badge of honor. Damn, I’d take that humiliation over this miserable life I’m now living.

  It’s now March, and I’m still yet to witness any rays of sunshine burning through the dull gray clouds of doom. Riverstone is so depressing. I can feel it eating away at my soul every day, and I don’t think there will be much left, if any at all by the time I manage to get out of here.

  Jessica is still set on making me one of the cool kids.

  My mom’s still trying to catch me at the perfect moment so we can sit down and ‘talk’, and so far, I’ve done really well to avoid her.

  And then there’s Cole Ashford. A tall, muscular brooding male who’s found a way to get under my skin. I’ve tried my damned hardest to keep my distance from him, but I still know he’s there, watching my every move, hidden deep within the shadows… just waiting to claim me at a moment’s notice.

  “Avery. Is that you?”

  I stop dead in my tracks as I stand at the kitchen table, journal in hand and I’m super conscious that my mom is closing in behind me. My eyes fall and land on the clock and I notice she’s home early. I didn’t even hear her engine or hear the door open.

  Maybe she’s sneaking up on me?

  “Where do you think you’re rushing off to?” Her voice is low, yet it’s as sharp as a knife as it slices through the air and I can perfectly envision the fierce scowl etched onto her face.

  Well, I guess there’s no escaping her now. Admitting defeat, I close my eyes and breathe in deep through my nose before slowly turning around to face her. I really thought I’d be able to avoid her for a while longer, but it looks like I’m officially out of time.

  I know she’s super close too because I can feel the tension radiating from her body, clouding the air around us.

  “I’ve got some schoolwork which needs finishing for Monday.” I tell her and the lie burns like acid on my tongue. But surely any mother, no matter how bad at parenting they may be, they wouldn’t want to get in the way of their child and their education?

  “On a weekend?” Her brows shoot up in suspicion as she watches me closely, her small eyes zone into mine and I know she isn’t buying my bullshit excuses. She’s not as stupid as I’d like to believe, and I hate to admit it, but it’s times like these when I can really see myself in her. Actually, right now it feels like I’m looking in the mirror, and it’s not a great feeling.

  “Uh-huh.” I nod my h
ead with as much enthusiasm as I can muster. “It’s a project I’d forgotten about. My bad.”

  “Right.” My mom presses her lips together and it really doesn’t do them any favors. They’re thin enough as it is and now, they look like a cat’s ass. Not that I’d ever dream of admitting that to her. “Well, I’m afraid your schoolwork will have to wait for now.”

  “But I really need to get it finished.” I plead. I know it’s a pointless effort on my part as I can see the stubbornness burning deep in her eyes. There’s no way she’s going to back down on this.

  “Avery. I need to talk to you. There’s some things we need to discuss, and as much as you might want to, you can’t avoid me forever.” My mom’s voice may well be soft and gentle, but I can definitely detect an undertone of urgency lingering on the surface.

  “I’m not avoiding you,” I lie some more, and I really wish I could avoid her for all eternity. “I’m just making sure I don’t fall behind at school. Is that such a bad thing?”

  “Five to ten minutes of your precious time isn’t going to do that, honey. And you know it.” My mom shakes her head and a warm smile plays on her lips. It’s a smile I recognize. Its’ my smile. “I was a teenager once too, you know.”

  “And?” The words fall freely from my lips. What does she want me to say? It’s not an achievement, is it? Everyone’s a teenager at some point.

  “And… I know that schoolwork wasn’t at the forefront of my mind when I was your age. I was never at home. I was always out doing anything and everything just so I didn’t have to think about schoolwork. I’d hang out with my friends, and I’d avoid my mom any chance I could get.”

  “That’s great, mom. But there’s a couple of problems with that picture.” I confess. “You see, you and I are nothing alike, and I don’t get to hang out with my friends. Do you know why? Well, let me tell you,” my voice rises, which warns me that I’m close to reaching a point of no return, but I ignore it and continue anyway. “I can’t do that because my friends are over two thousand miles away.”

  “Oh, honey, that’s not what I meant.”

  “No? Well how about you tell me what you meant, mom.” I hurl at her. “Do you even know what it’s like for me? Have you even stopped to think about that?” My mom doesn’t say anything, so I take this as my cue to throw some more home truths her way. “My life—the one I used to have doesn’t exist anymore. I was dragged away from my life—a life I enjoyed living, and the worst part. I didn’t get to have a single say in any of it. I loved everything I had before it was pulled right from under me and I was forced to come and stay here in this miserable town with you.” A solid lump forms in my throat as I try to fight against the tears. Tears of frustration. “But then, what would you care? I guess you were far too busy with your own perfect little life over the past ten years to even think to check on what I was doing in mine.” I puff out my cheeks as I try to get a handle on my emotions, and I can feel my chest loosen a little as I finally give into my built-up frustration and set it free.

  My mom flinches from the harsh reality of my outburst, but I really don’t care. Everything I said was nothing but the truth, so why should I care how she feels? Does this woman—this stranger really think she has the right to stand in front of me and act like she suddenly cares? Obviously, this is all a case of when it suits her.

  “Avery.” My mom shouts as soon as the shock has subsided, and she is quick to find her voice again. “Don’t you dare speak to me like that.”

  I shake my head and my body is still vibrating from the anger coursing through me. “Why not?”

  “Because young lady, whether you like it or not, I’m still your mother.”

  Oh, I should have known that she’d be quick to pull that card sooner or later. But it doesn’t hold any validity—none whatsoever. “Sure you are. But only on paper.” I bite back as my anger intensifies some more. It starts to set in and take a real hold on me, as my heart pounds faster and faster in my chest and it’s showing no signs of tletting up anytime soon. “Why don’t you do us both a favor and quit with the act.”

  I turn back around and my heartbeat thuds louder and louder in my ears as I storm up the wooden staircase, taking the steps two at a time, and I reach my room in seconds. A soon as I step inside, I slam the door with such force I’m surprised it doesn’t split the old wooden frames.

  What is with that woman?”

  Why can’t she just leave me the hell alone? Just because we’re forced to live in the same house, that doesn’t automatically mean we’re going to be besties.

  Jeez, I am so done with her and this miserable town and I’m only three months into this year long stretch.

  CHAPTER TWO

  AVERY

  I throw myself down on the bed as a strong sense of nausea consumes me and ripples through my body, and I know why. I’m home sick and there’s not a goddamn thing I can do about it. There’s nothing out there—no medicine, no sudden cure that will ever fix the massive, irreparable hole in my heart.

  I miss my dad.

  Seriously. What I wouldn’t give to be able to talk to him one last time. I’d be able to tell him everything I should have before. Things like how much I loved him and that he was by far the best dad in the whole entire world. It’s only now that he’s not here I truly realize how lucky I was to have him in my life.

  I really wish he was here. He’d be able to make everything okay in a heartbeat. My dad knew me better than anyone, and he always knew what to do—no matter the problem.

  I want my dad here with me. Not her. This so-called stranger who’s supposed to be my mom.

  My soul is crying out for the man who raised me. For the one constant in my life, and the one person who taught me everything I know. My heart is breaking for the person who taught me how to love and more importantly, what it feels like to be loved—unconditionally, no matter my flaws.

  But I can’t have him because he’s gone. And nothing will ever bring him back to me.

  “All right, Avery. This ends now.”

  My bedroom door swings open to reveal my mom on the other side, and she’s currently rocking an epic scowl on her face. Her small, delicate hands are splayed on her hips and I can tell this time she sure as hell means business. I guess that makes two of us. “We’re going to talk this out whether you want to or not.”

  Is this woman crazy? “You can’t just charge into my room.” I exclaim and my eyes narrow at her some more.

  “Oh, no?” She asks and I can tell she’s in no mood to back down. “Well, here’s a little news alert for you, Avery Parker. You see this?” My mom looks up and twirls her finger around in the air, “This is my house and guess what… that means I make the rules. So, while you’re living here, you’ll do well to follow them.” Her cheeks flush a deep read while she tries her hardest to keep her cool, but it’s a sign she’s failing miserably.

  “I didn’t choose to be here.” I mutter but the conviction in my voice is loud and clear and I don’t think I’ve ever said a truer word.

  My mom’s face softens a little around the edges but the last thing I want, or need is here pity. “I get that, honey. Really, I do.” Her small, slender figure inches closer to me. “I know it’s horrible what happened to your father, and…”

  “Don’t!” I cut her off and I almost jump from my position on the bed as a strong surge of adrenaline—my fight or flight mode kicks in and pulsates through my body. “Don’t you dare stand here and pretend like you ever gave a damn about him. You didn’t care about either of us. If you did then you would have made more of an active effort to be involved in our lives.”

  “Is that what you really think?” she looks totally taken aback—like I’ve just blown her world, and her eyes grow wide and this makes her unshed tears more visible. Wow. I can’t actually believe what I’m seeing. If my mom thinks it’s okay to switch on the water works then she’s even more selfish than I originally thought.

  I decide against answering her and a de
adly silence descends and fills the air around us. Both of us are caught up in a crazy-ass stand-off, with neither one us wiling to look away—choosing not to speak—both as stubborn as the other.

  I keep it up for some time but then I finally give in, quick to realize if I don’t then that’s a sure fire way of keeping her in my room for all eternity, and that’s not something I want to happen. I want her as far away as physically possible, not closer.

  “Does it really matter what I think?” I ask even though I can already guess her answer. “Everything I’ve ever known and loved has been taken away from me.” I have no idea why I’m suddenly confessing this out loud, and to her of all people. Because surely, she should know or at least try to understand what I’m going through. Shouldn’t she want to make this awful transition easier for me?

  I don’t move when my mom edges closer to me and before I have a chance to react, she’s already lowering herself down onto my bed, but she’s still cautious enough to keep a safe distance between us.

  “Honey,” my eyes raise to meet hers when she starts talking and even though I’m desperate to look away, I’m shocked to find that I can’t. “I know you’re hurting, and I’ve tried to give you as much space as physically possible to try to help you adjust into your new life here. But we can’t go on like this. If it’s going to work as well as I want it to, then we both need to play an active part.” I open my mouth to protest, but my mom raises her hand and silences me before she continues, “I know you probably won’t believe me when I tell you this, but I loved your father too.” She leans in closer to me and I can smell the sweetness of her perfume—vanilla and cranberries. Her face softens some more, and she doesn’t look as stressed when her eyes bore into mine. I can’t speak again from the stupid lump forming in my throat again. “Adults, well… sometimes they end up changing paths from time to time, but,” her hand falls and lands as delicate as a feather on my knee and I surprise myself when I don’t pull away. “I can promise you this; no matter what happened in the past, I’ve always loved your father and I probably always will. Nothing can ever change that.”