“That is, if you’re free.”
“Uh…yes, sure…that would be nice.”
“Great. How about if I pick you up around five-thirty? Unless that’s too early for you?”
“Five-thirty will be fine.”
“I’ll see you then.”
“Thanks, Paul.” Cait felt numb. There wasn’t any other way to describe it. It was as if her dreams were finally beginning to play themselves out—too late. Paul, whom she’d loved from afar for so long, wanted to take her to dinner. She should be dancing around the office with glee, or at least feeling something other than this peculiar dull sensation in the pit of her stomach. If this was such a significant, exciting, hoped-for event, why didn’t she feel any of the exhilaration she’d expected?
After taking a moment to collect her thoughts, Cait walked down the hallway to Lindy’s office and found her friend on the phone. Lindy glanced up, smiled feebly in Cait’s direction, then abruptly dropped her gaze as if the call demanded her full concentration.
Cait waited a couple of minutes, then decided to return later when Lindy wasn’t so busy. She needed to talk to her friend, needed her counsel. Lindy had always encouraged Cait in her dreams of a relationship with Paul. When she was discouraged, it was Lindy who bolstered her sagging spirits. Yes, it was definitely time for a talk. She’d try to get Lindy to confide in her, too. Cait valued Lindy’s friendship; true, she couldn’t help being hurt that the person she considered one of her best friends would give notice to leave the firm without even discussing it with her. But Lindy must’ve had her reasons. And maybe she, too, needed some support right about now.
Hearing her own phone ring, Cait hurried back to her office. She was consistantly busy from then on. The New York Stock Exchange was due to close in a matter of minutes when Joe happened by.
“Hi,” Cait greeted him, her smile wide and welcoming. Her gaze connected with Joe’s and he returned her smile. Her heart reacted automatically, leaping with sheer happiness.
“Hi, yourself.” He sauntered into her office and threw himself down in the same chair Paul had taken earlier, stretching his long legs in front of him and folding his hands over his stomach. “So how’s the world of finance doing this fine day?”
“About as well as usual.”
“Then we’re in deep trouble,” he joked.
His smile was infectious. It always had been, but Cait had initially resisted him. Her defenses had weakened, though, and she responded readily with a smile of her own.
“You done for the day?”
“Just about.” She checked the time. In another five minutes, New York would be closing down. There were several items she needed to clear from her desk, but nothing pressing. “Why?”
“Why?” It was little short of astonishing how far Joe’s eyebrows could reach, Cait noted, all but disappearing into his hairline.
“Can’t a man ask a simple question?” Joe asked.
“Of course.” The banter between them was like a well-rehearsed play. Never had Cait been more at ease with a man—or had more fun with a man. Or with anyone, really. “What I want to know is whether ‘simple’ refers to the question or to the man asking it.”
“Ouch,” Joe said, grinning broadly. “Those claws are sharp this afternoon.”
“Actually today’s been good.” Or at least it had since he’d arrived.
“I’m glad to hear it. How about dinner?” He jumped to his feet and pretended to waltz around her office, playing a violin. “You and me. Wine and moonlight and music. Romance and roses.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. “You work too hard. You always have. I want you to enjoy life a little more. It would be good for both of us.”
Joe didn’t need to give her an incentive to go out with him. Cait was thrilled at the mere idea. Joe made her laugh, made her feel good about herself and the world. Of course, he possessed a remarkable talent for driving her crazy, too. But she supposed a little craziness was good for the spirit.
“Only promise me you won’t wear those high heels of yours,” he chided, pressing his hand to the small of his back. “I’ve suffered excruciating back pains ever since Paul’s Christmas party.”
Paul’s name seemed to leap out and grab Cait by the throat. “Paul,” she repeated, sagging against the back of her chair. “Oh, dear.”
“I know you consider him a dear,” Joe teased. “What has your stalwart employer done this time?”
“He asked me out to dinner,” Cait admitted, frowning. “Out of the blue this morning he popped into my office and invited me to dinner as if we’d been dating for months. I was so stunned, I didn’t know what to think.”
“What did you tell him?” Joe seemed to consider the whole thing a huge joke. “Wait—” he held up his hand “—you don’t need to answer that. I already know. You sprang at the offer.”
“I didn’t exactly spring,” she said, somewhat offended by Joe’s attitude. The least he could do was show a little concern. She’d spent Christmas with him, and according to his own mother this was the first time he’d ever brought a woman home for the holiday. Furthermore, despite his insisting to all and sundry that they were married, he certainly didn’t seem to mind her seeing another man.
“I’ll bet you nearly went into shock.” A smile trembled at the edges of his mouth as if he was picturing her reaction to Paul’s invitation and finding it all terribly entertaining.
“I did not go into shock.” She defended herself heatedly. She’d been taken by surprise, that was all.
“Listen,” he said, walking toward the door, “have a great time. I’ll catch you later.” With that he was gone.
Cait couldn’t believe it. Her mouth dropped open and she paced frantically, clenching and unclenching her fists. It took her a full minute to recover enough to run after him.
Joe was talking to his foreman, the same stocky man he’d been with the day he followed Cait into the elevator.
“Excuse me,” she said, interrupting their conversation, “but when you’re finished I’d like a few words with you, Joe.” Her back was ramrod stiff and she kept flexing her hands as though preparing for a fight.
Joe glanced at his watch. “It might be a while.”
“Then might I have a few minutes of your time now?”
The foreman stepped away, his step cocky. “You want me to dismiss the crew again, boss? I can tell them to go out and buy New Year’s presents for their wives, if you like.”
The man was rewarded with a look that was hot enough to barbecue spareribs. “That won’t be necessary, thanks, anyway, Harry.”
“You’re welcome, boss. We serve to please.”
“Then please me by kindly shutting up.”
Harry chuckled and returned to another section of the office.
“You wanted something?” Joe asked.
Boy, did she. “Is that all you’re going to say?”
“About what?”
“About my going to dinner with Paul? I expected you to be…I don’t know, upset.”
“Why should I be upset? Is he going to have his way with you? I sincerely doubt it, but if you’re worried, invite me along and I’ll be more than happy to protect your honor.”
“What’s the matter with you?” she demanded, not bothering to disguise her fury and disappointment. She stared at Joe, waiting for him to mock her again, but once more he surprised her. His gaze sobered.
“You honestly expect me to be jealous?”
“Not jealous exactly,” she said, although he wasn’t far from the truth. “Concerned.”
“I’m not. Paul’s a good man.”
“I know, but—”
“You’ve been in love with him for months—”
“I think it was more of an infatuation.”
“True. But he’s finally asked you out, and you’ve accepted.”
“Yes, but—”
“We know each other well, Cait. We were married, remember?”
“I’m not likely to
forget it.” Especially when Joe took pains to point it out at every opportunity. “Shouldn’t that mean…something?” Cait was embarrassed she’d said that. For weeks she’d suffered acute mortification every time Joe mentioned the childhood stunt. Now she was using it to suit her own purposes.
Joe took hold of her shoulders. “As a matter of fact, our marriage means a lot to me. Because I care about you, Cait.”
Hearing Joe admit as much was gratifying.
“I want only the best for you,” he continued. “It’s what you deserve. All I can say is that I’d be more than pleased if everything worked out between you and Paul. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to talk something over with Harry.”
“Oh, right, sure, go ahead.” She couldn’t seem to get the words out fast enough. When she’d called Martin to explain why she wouldn’t be in Minnesota for Christmas, he’d claimed that God would reward her sacrifice. If Paul’s invitation to dinner was God’s reward, she wanted her airline ticket back.
The numb feeling returned as Cait returned to her office. She didn’t know what to think. She’d believed…she’d hoped that she and Joe shared a very special feeling. Clearly their times together meant something entirely different to him than they had to her. Otherwise he wouldn’t behave so casually about her going out with Paul. And he certainly wouldn’t seem so pleased about it!
That was what hurt Cait the most, and yes, she was hurt. It had taken her several minutes to identify her feelings, but now she knew….
More by accident than design, Cait walked into Lindy’s office. Her friend had already put on her coat and was closing her briefcase, ready to leave the office.
“Paul asked me to dinner,” Cait blurted out.
“He did?” Lindy’s eyes widened with astonishment. But she didn’t turn it into a joke, the way Joe had.
Cait nodded. “He just strolled in as if it was nothing out of the ordinary and asked me to have dinner with him.”
“Are you happy about it?”
“I don’t know,” Cait answered honestly. “I suppose I should be pleased. It’s what I’d prayed would happen for months.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Lindy asked.
“Joe doesn’t seem to care. He said he hopes everything works out the way I want it to.”
“Which is?” Lindy pressed.
Cait had to think about that a moment, her heart in her throat. “Honest to heaven, Lindy, I don’t know anymore.”
“I understand the salmon here is superb,” Paul was saying, reading over the Boathouse menu. It was a well-known restaurant on Lake Union.
Cait scanned the list of entrées, which featured fresh seafood, then chose the grilled salmon—the same dish she’d ordered that night with Joe. Tonight, though, she wasn’t sure why she was even bothering. She wasn’t hungry, and Paul was going to be wasting good money while she made a pretense of enjoying her meal.
“I understand you’ve been seeing a lot of Joe Rockwell,” he said conversationally.
That Paul should mention Joe’s name right now was ironic. Cait hadn’t stopped thinking about him from the moment he’d dropped into her office earlier that afternoon. Their conversation had left a bitter taste in her mouth. She’d sincerely believed their relationship was developing into something…special. Yet Joe had gone out of his way to give her the opposite impression.
“Cait?” Paul stared at her.
“I’m sorry, what were you saying?”
“Simply that you and Joe Rockwell have been seeing a lot of each other recently.”
“Uh, yes. As you know, we were childhood friends,” she murmured. “Actually Joe and my older brother were best friends. Then Joe’s family moved to the suburbs and our families lost contact.”
“Yes, I remember you mentioned that.”
The waitress came for their order, and Paul requested a bottle of white wine. Then he chatted amicably for several minutes, bringing up subjects of shared interest from the office.
Cait listened attentively, nodding from time to time or adding the occasional comment. Now that she had his undivided attention, Cait wondered what it was about Paul that she’d found so extraordinary. He was attractive, but not nearly as dynamic or exciting as she found Joe. True, Paul possessed a certain charm, but compared to Joe, he was subdued and perhaps even a little dull. Cait couldn’t imagine her stalwart boss carrying her piggyback out the back door because her high heels were too tight. Nor could she see Paul bantering with her the way Joe did.
The waitress delivered the wine, opened the bottle and poured them each a glass, once Paul had given his approval. Their dinners followed shortly afterward. After taking a bite or two of her delicious salmon, Cait noticed that Paul hadn’t touched his meal. If anything, he seemed restless.
He rolled the stem of the wineglass between his fingers, watching the wine swirl inside. Then he suddenly blurted out, “What do you think of Lindy’s leaving the firm?”
Cait was taken aback by the fervor in his voice when he mentioned Lindy’s name. “Frankly I was shocked,” Cait said. “Lindy and I have been good friends for a couple of years now.” There’d been a time when the two had done nearly everything together. The summer before, they’d vacationed in Mexico and returned to Seattle with enough handwoven baskets and bulky blankets to set up shop themselves.
“Lindy’s resigning came as a surprise to you, then?”
“Yes, this whole thing caught me completely unawares. Lindy didn’t even mention the other job offer to me. I always thought we were good friends.”
“Lindy is your friend,” Paul said with enough conviction to persuade the patrons at the nearby tables. “You wouldn’t believe what a good friend she is.”
“I…know that.” But friends sometimes had surprises up their sleeves. Lindy was a good example of that, and apparently so was Joe.
“I find Lindy an exceptional woman,” Paul commented, watching Cait closely.
“She’s probably one of the best stockbrokers in the business,” Cait said, taking a sip of her wine.
“My…admiration for her goes beyond her keen business mind.”
“Oh, mine, too,” Cait was quick to agree. Lindy was the kind of friend who would trrudge through the blazing sun of Mexico looking for a conch shell because she knew Cait really wanted to take one home. And Lindy had listened to countless hours of Cait’s bemoaning her sorry fate of unrequited love for Paul.
“She’s a wonderful woman.”
Joe was wonderful, too, Cait thought. So wonderful her heart ached at his indifference when she’d announced she would be dining with Paul.
“Lindy’s the kind of woman a man could treasure all his life,” Paul went on.
“I couldn’t agree with you more,” Cait said. Now, if only Joe would realize what a treasure she was. He’d married her once—well, sort of—and surely the possibility of spending their lives together had crossed his mind in the past few weeks.
Paul hesitated as though at a loss for words. “I don’t suppose you’ve given any thought to the reason Lindy made this unexpected decision to resign?”
Frankly Cait hadn’t. Her mind and her heart had been so full of Joe that deciphering her friend’s actions had somehow escaped her. “She received a better offer, didn’t she?” Which was understandable. Lindy would be an asset to any firm.
It was then that Cait understood. Paul hadn’t asked her to dinner out of any desire to develop a romantic relationship with her. He saw her as a means of discovering what had prompted Lindy to resign. This new awareness came as a relief, a burden lifted from her shoulders. Paul wasn’t interested in her. He never had been and probably never would be. A few weeks ago, that realization would have been a crushing defeat, but all Cait experienced now was an overwhelming sense of gratitude.
“I’m sure if you talk to Lindy, she might reconsider,” Cait suggested.
“I’ve tried, trust me. But there’s a problem.”
“Oh?” Now that Cait had sampled the salmon, she
discovered it to be truly delicious. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was.
“Cait, look at me,” Paul said, raising his voice slightly. His face was pinched, his eyes intense. “Damn, but you’ve made this nearly impossible.”
She looked up at him, her face puzzled. “What is it, Paul?”
“You have no idea, do you? I swear you’ve got to be the most obtuse woman in the world.” He pushed aside his plate and briefly closed his eyes, shaking his head. “I’m in love with Lindy. I have been for weeks…months. But for the life of me I couldn’t get her to notice me. I swear I did everything but turn cartwheels in her office. It finally dawned on me why she wasn’t responding.”
“Me?” Cait asked in a feeble, mouselike squeak.
“Exactly. She didn’t want to betray your friendship. Then one afternoon—I think it was the day you first recognized Joe—we, Lindy and I, were in my office and—Oh hell, I don’t know how it happened, but Lindy was looking something up for me and she stumbled over one of the cords the construction crew was using. Fortunately I was able to catch her before she fell to the floor. I know it wasn’t her fault, but I was so angry, afraid she might have been hurt. Lindy was just as angry with me for being angry with her, and it seemed the only way to shut her up was to kiss her. That was the beginning and I swear to you everything exploded in our faces at that moment.”
Cait swallowed, fascinated by the story. “Go on.”
“I tried for days to get her to agree to go out with me. But she kept refusing until I demanded to know why.”
“She told you…how I felt about you?” The thought was mortifying.
“Of course not. Lindy’s too good a friend to divulge your confidence. Besides, she didn’t need to tell me. I’ve known all along. Good grief, Cait, what did I have to do to discourage you? Hire a skywriter?”
“I don’t think anything that drastic was necessary,” she muttered, humiliated to her very bones.
Home for the Holidays Page 13
