The preacher who spoke was from a local church. He knew my dad, but only through having his car fixed at the shop. To some this would have seemed sad, but to me it seemed appropriate. Steel Mechanics, Inc. was Dad’s whole life, so it was fitting that the preacher at his funeral would have this – and only this – connection to him.
I only half-listened as he spoke lines of scripture and related them to my dad’s passing. I played with the end of my braid. My dad had been the person to braid it for me when I was child. Since my mother hadn’t been around, he had been in charge of fixing my hair – something he knew nothing about. I didn’t know what made him decide to do it, but he learned how to braid at some point when I was little, and he would braid my hair in a French braid every morning. It became our ritual, until I was older and learned to braid it myself. So it was fitting that I braided my hair today. He had always pulled too hard and I would cry, but instead of apologizing he would tell me he was helping me. “A tough head is the head that gets far in life.”
He said those words to me so many times they had become a sort of mantra in my life, one I repeated to myself when times got hard, especially this past year.
“Let us pray.” The words caused everyone around me to dip their heads and I followed suit. Sometime during the prayer a warm hand slipped into mine. I slitted my eyes to find Stacie staring back. She wasn’t supposed to be home for four more days. My heart leapt in my chest, beating wildly.
Instead of sticking with proper code, I abandoned the prayer and wrapped my arms around her.
“You’re here.”
“Sorry I’m so late,” she whispered back.
But there was no need to apologize and I would have said as much if the prayer hadn’t ended and the preacher hadn’t resumed his sermon. The rest of the service went by a little easier now that Stacie was here. I couldn’t explain it, but outside of my dad, she was the closest person I had in my life right now, the only person who knew about the most delicate and intricate parts of my life. With my dad’s death, and her absence on her work trip, I’d felt really alone lately.
Except when you were with Tyler.
I ignored my inner voice.
Once the service ended, I stood by the casket and received hugs from so many people. Some I knew, some I didn’t. As Stacie and I made our away from the gravesite, I noticed him, standing by a tree not far from us. Tyler wore a black suit with a matching tie. He had on wayfarer sunglasses, so I couldn’t see his eyes, but I knew he was looking at me. I hadn’t seen him or heard from him since he came to my apartment with the carnations a few days ago.
I could feel the intensity of his gaze burning a hole right through me, hotter somehow than the Texas sun. There was something mysterious and yet vibrant about him here, amongst the trees and the graves, at the place where my dad was to make a permanent residence. There was life about him, in a way I couldn’t describe.
I didn’t say anything as we passed. I didn’t tell Stacie that he was there. I just moved, letting my gaze linger on him until he was out of sight, hidden, a brilliant mystery, a piece of my past I still couldn’t quite seem to understand or reconcile. Part of me wanted to thank him for coming, but I didn’t. I said nothing. The other night in my apartment had been an anomaly, I decided. I had been too grief-stricken over my dad to remember the way Evie had ripped into me that night at the pool party. Though it wasn’t her words that really bothered me. It was that Tyler had said nothing during the altercation, even after he had been the one who sought me out at my apartment, the one who initiated the kiss at the bar and our sexual encounter. He stood there and let her spew all those venomous words about me, words he no doubt believed. But at the end of the day he was no better. I kept moving, letting my feet carry me away from my dad’s body and from the boy who used to love me.
Away from all the heartache.
“Tyler, what is the meaning of this?”
I stood in George Steel’s office while he waved a customer ticket in my face.
I frowned and reached out, grabbing the ticket. It was a customer I recognized. “Oh, yeah, this is Roger Smith. I did some work on his van last week…” I went into detail on what I fixed on the car.
George stood there, listening, his eyes boring into mine with his death stare. “Are you sure about all that?” He asked once I finished.
“Of course.” I nodded, unsure of why he seemed so angry. “Did the van come back with some sort of problem?”
“Mr. Smith came back in this morning before you got here, claiming his van was still having the same issues. I had Darren look into it, and clearly, I even looked myself, you had not replaced the parts needed, even though those parts had been ordered and paid for by the customer.”
“What? No. That’s impossible.” I had done all that work myself. In fact, I remember how pleased I was with it. It was a big job that paid a lot of hours.
“Come on.” He led me out into the bays, where sure enough, Roger Smith’s van sat alongside other vehicles. The hood was popped and Darren stood a few feet away. “Have a look for yourself.”
I glanced inside, and sure enough, the old radiator with the crack in it stared back at me with glaring obviousness, along with some other things. I frowned and stepped back, double-checking the van. “This doesn’t make sense. Did you check the license plate and vin number, to make sure it’s the same van?”
“Yes we did. What do you have to say for yourself?” George asked. Darren stood off to the side watching the whole conversation go down with a smirk on his face. He had never liked me, but he especially hadn’t liked me since I became shop foreman a little over six months ago and we had that altercation in the bar.
“I did the work George. Of course I did the work. What do you think I’m doing? Not fixing vehicles and keeping the parts?” When his gaze revealed that was exactly what he thought, a wave of sickness hit my stomach. “There’s no way in hell I would ever do that. Come on. You know me.”
“Let’s talk in my office.” George moved quickly back to his office, leaving me standing with Darren for a moment.
“Tough luck, can’t cheat the system. I’ve been telling you that all along. Eventually you get caught, bruh.” He winked at me and then and there I knew how and why this van had come back into the shop. Darren had something to do with it. He must have swapped out the parts before the customer came and picked it up. I could distinctly remember finishing this one in the evening, and the customer unable to pick up until the next day. Darren must have stayed late.
“You did this.”
Darren shook his head. “It’s not my fault you do shitty work.”
“Tyler, let’s go!” George called out to me from his office door. I had no choice but to walk away from Darren, even though I desperately wanted to punch him in the face.
I headed back to George’s office with the realization – I might get fired because of that dumbfuck.
“Don’t worry about it, babe. It’s just a write up. I’ll talk to my dad and we will get it all worked out.” Rowan ran her fingertips along my jaw, her legs draped across my lap on the couch. We had lived together almost a month now and it had been amazing, outside of pissing Victor off that we weren’t roomies anymore. He had been against the idea from the beginning even though I gave him plenty of notice, and the fact that we were just moving to a different apartment in the same complex. I’d tried to talk to him about the bullshit Darren had pulled today, but he’d been uninterested in talking to me, brushing me off like he had since I moved out.
“Babe?”
I met Rowan’s gaze. “Sorry. I’m just pissed.”
“I know. It’s bullshit, but my dad will understand. Darren is an asshole, he’s always been one. It’s time for him to go.”
I sighed. This wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
“What is it?” she asked, searching my face.
“That’s not what I want Rowan. I don’t want you running to your daddy to fix my problems.”
“This
isn’t about running to my daddy for anything. He’s your boss and someone has screwed you over.” She sat up straighter. “You should have explained what happened to him the moment you realized what Darren had done.”
“That’s what Darren wants. It will just be his word against mine.”
“Exactly. And whose side do you think he would take?”
“Yeah, Rowan, sure. Mine, maybe, but only because I’m dating you.”
Anger etched itself into the delicate lines of her face. “You know that isn’t true. Dad thinks you’re an amazing mechanic. It has nothing to do with me.”
“This isn’t about being good at my job, Rowan. This is about stealing.”
“I don’t know why you’re being so stubborn about this,” she huffed. “If you don’t want me to say something to Dad, then you better, because no one should be able to get away with something like this. This is sabotage, not of just you, but of my dad and the company’s name. I won’t stand for it!”
Sometimes I forgot about her investment in the company and how much it meant to her. She worked at Steel less now, only part-time since school had started to consume a lot of her time. I missed seeing her at the shop everyday, but coming home to her every night made up for it times infinity. Even now, with her legs draped across my lap, her chest moving more quickly in her anger. There was such passion in her. It was addictive.
“You’re right.” I conceded. “I just don’t like the idea that anyone thinks that I didn’t earn my position, or that I can get out of anything because I date you. Hell, I feel like that’s the only reason he didn’t fire me today – because he wanted to give me the benefit of the doubt because of you.”
“Did he say that?”
“Well, no but—”
“Then that’s not why he kept you on. My dad says what he means, you know that. If he really thought you were a thief, you would already be gone. No doubt about that.”
I believed her. She knew him better than anyone. But I couldn’t shake the fact that there had been increasing hostility toward me from the guys in the shop, and not just Darren. It could be that the fallout with Vic made me feel more alone at work, but I wasn’t so sure about that. It seemed like people were trusting me less the longer time went on – which made no sense to me. It could be because I was their boss now, but it felt suspiciously like it was because of my connection to George through Rowan. I felt that I earned my position, and I wanted everyone to respect that.
“Do you ever think about getting out of here?” The words slipped out of my mouth before I could think about them.
“What do you mean?” Rowan had laid her head against my chest, the heat from her words warm through my cotton shirt.
“I mean, have you ever just…thought about picking up and moving, starting over, starting new?”
“Like out of Texas?”
I mulled over her question. “Maybe, I don’t know. Maybe just out of town, somewhere new.”
After a few moments, she nodded against my chest. “Yeah, I have.”
Her revelation sent a burst of happiness through me. “There’s a whole big world out there with new opportunities and new people outside of this town we’ve been in forever.” Part of me wanted to know what that tasted like. What it felt like to leave everything behind, everything except Rowan, and just see where the wind took me – to take a risk, to jump and see where we landed. I knew wherever it was, I would be happy, so long as she was there with me.
“I don’t know if I could though. I wouldn’t want to leave my dad. I’m kind of all he has.” She peered up at me through her thick lashes.
The realization of her words sucked the little bit of hope I had right out of me. I knew this. I knew she loved her dad. I knew she wouldn’t move away from him. Suddenly, though, for the first time, I knew what this meant for me too. I couldn’t leave George Steel either – he and Rowan were a packaged deal. I couldn’t quit Steel Mechanics, Inc. No, I could only be fired from there, which was made apparent today, when George explained that I was on thin ice. If I were to quit to find something new, I would only disappoint Rowan and George. I didn’t think I could live with that. I stared down at Rowan, into those honey-brown pools that had enraptured me so, and knew I couldn’t bear to hurt her or disappoint her in any way.
“I’ll talk to George tomorrow about what happened with Darren. It will all work out fine.” I smiled down at her, meaning the words. I would do anything for her. Always. Even if it meant staying here in the little town I grew up in, forever. These were just hard times – everyone had them. Everyone had conflicts at work that made them want to quit. This was no different. I loved my job. I would make it work.
I kissed Rowan’s forehead and squeezed her close, letting the love pour out of me. No matter what, no matter how hard things got, I had her, and she was all that mattered.
Owen: I’ve been thinking about you. Hope you’re okay.
I stared down at my phone on the table in Miguelitos, my favorite Mexican food restaurant in the world. Stacie sat across from me. We’d changed out of our funeral garb earlier in the day, after a short reception held by Red’s wife Martha at their house. I hadn’t eaten anything. I wasn’t hungry, but even if I had been, I wouldn’t have had the chance. I was too flooded by people who wanted to tell me they were sorry for my loss. I appreciated the thoughts, the memories of my dad they wanted to share with me. I really did. But it was almost too much – too overwhelming. I couldn’t take it all at once and Stacie helped me make an excuse to escape early and go back to our apartments.
“Is it Owen?”
I glanced up at her and nodded. “Yeah, it is.” He’d been texting me since he found out. I hadn’t seen him in the mean time, but he seemed genuinely concerned about me, while at the same time giving me space. I appreciated it. Things were still too new with him to share in this sort of grief.
“You should text him back.”
“I will. You know I will. He’s nice.”
She nodded enthusiastically, while dipping a chip in salsa. “He sounds like a total dream boat. I wish I hadn’t been so drunk that night you met him.” She pushed her dark hair behind her ear.
“That night wasn’t super great, so you didn’t miss out on much,” I said, remembering Tyler’s appearance and our kiss in the bathroom hallway.
“Ah, good ol’ Tyler. I’m surprised you didn’t introduce him to me today.”
I frowned as she chomped down on a chip.
“You think I didn’t see mister dark and broody posted up against the tree as we left the cemetery? He couldn’t take his eyes off you.”
I rolled my eyes. “He was wearing sunglasses–”
“Ah ha! I knew it!” She pointed her chip at me. “That was him, and he was so looking at you. You were looking at him.”
I shrugged. “That doesn’t mean anything, Stace. I just noticed him as we were leaving. Of course I had to look at him.”
“Oh, come on, it was more than just a look. I could literally taste the tension.”
“Well, it was a rough breakup.”
“Yeah, but that’s not all it was. There was this unresolved feeling in the air.” She paused. “I know, I know that sounds sort of ridiculous considering where we were, but I’m good at reading people, Rowan. You know that. He wanted to talk to you.”
“That’s probably true, but only because of where we were. He and my dad were close at one time. I think he regrets not patching things up with him before…” I couldn’t bring myself to say the words.
“I know.” She reached out and touched my hand. I hadn’t told her that Tyler had stopped by the other night after he heard the news. “This is a hard time for you. I just don’t want anyone to take advantage of that, especially considering what’s been going on with you and Tyler lately.”
What had been going on with Tyler and I lately? Nothing, really. If someone asked me to define it, I would just stand there with my mouth gaping like a fish, unable to answer. Maybe it wasn’t nothi
ng, but it wasn’t really something either.
“I know. I won’t let anyone hurt me, especially not right now. I know you don’t think so, but things with Tyler really are over.” My mind flashed back to the swim party and the conversation at the end. “He has a girlfriend. And in spite of the things that have gone on between us,” I added before she could interrupt me, “he does seem happy with her.” I considered this thought for the first time. The way he looked at her, even when he seemed aggravated, had seemed genuine for the few seconds I allowed myself to look. She was gorgeous, perfect, in practically every way. Why wouldn’t he truly care for her? He had cared for me, with utter openness and love. A sad feeling spread through me. It had been so long since I had felt his love. I hadn’t considered the loss of it in so long, and what it meant that he was giving it to someone else. There was nothing like it in the world.
“Did I ever tell you the story about the giraffe and the elephant?”
I blinked and frowned at Stacie, reaching for my own chip this time. “No?”
She chuckled, “I can’t believe I didn’t. I’m the worst friend.”
Stacie was like this – random, which was what I loved about her most of the time.
“There was once a giraffe and an elephant and they fell in love,” she began, flicking her short dark hair over one shoulder.
“Is this a true story?” I mused.
She slitted her dark eyes at me. “Just listen. The giraffe and the elephant fell in love, but they couldn’t be together because everyone said they were too different. The giraffe was too skinny, the elephant too big. They made a funny-looking couple to all the other animals.
“But they loved each other anyway, and they stayed together despite what anyone said about them. Their families shunned them, embarrassed by their choices. Eventually the stress of life broke them apart, and they both went back home, separately. Even though they had shared a powerful love, it wasn’t enough to keep them together.”
The Truth About Us Page 11
