Tyler shook his head. “It’s over, sir.” Those words, the way he spoke them, their finality. “I won’t work here anymore, and frankly, I’ve put up with a lot of bullshit and unfairness when it came to working here. Now I don’t have to deal with it anymore.” With those words he left.
“Tyler!” My dad had called after him, but he didn’t come back. Dad had sat there at his desk, completely silent for some moments. He wasn’t the kind of guy to show a lot of emotion, but I could see it. The hurt, the loss. Tyler had been like the son he never had over the last three years and I had ruined that for the both of them.
It was a sacrifice, Rowan, for Tyler. For him.
But I couldn’t help but feel like I had fucked things up more than I had to. Now, Tyler would live with the guilt of never speaking to my dad again. With Dad gone, their relationship that could never be mended, not with physical, human words.
I didn’t say anything about it though. I didn’t bring up those sad times. I didn’t want to be sad. I just wanted to live in these happy memories forever, with Tyler’s animated hands and never-ending stories. But they weren’t never-ending, not really. Eventually, we stood to leave. As we stepped outside into the hot night air, I was reminded of another time several years ago where we had stood just outside this bar, and I had confessed my deepest secret to him.
I sucked in a breath. I didn’t want to remember. I didn’t want to think about that either. The good times with Tyler and I, where he had accepted me whole-heartedly in spite of the fact that I was ignorant to having sex.
“Do you remember?”
I glanced away from the cracked brick where we had stood all those nights ago.
“Fuck, I love you so much.”
His words came back to me, the warmth of his lips on mine. It was funny how some things could be forgotten so easily and others were branded into the brain for eternity, whether you wanted to remember or not.
“I do.” I didn’t even try to pretend like I didn’t know what he meant. “It’s hard to forget.”
He nodded as I gazed up at him, sliding his hands into his jean pockets. In that moment he could have been a model for some expensive brand, his brow furrowed, his face pensive. He was a beautiful man, always had been.
“Crazy how things change,” I said. We hadn’t moved since stepping outside onto the stoop of Buzzy Brews.
There was a long pause, where I stared at him, and he stared at the spot where we stood so long ago. We should have been moving back to his car, our feet finding their way, but we didn’t.
Tyler reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. “I think we could make this work, Rowan – being friends,” he added quickly.
I chewed my lip. “Yeah,” I swallowed, hating that I almost had the nerve to feel disappointed that this was all he wanted, even though I had been the one talk about friendship first today. “Thanks for hanging out with me tonight and telling stories about Dad. It helped. It really did.”
The air between us was awkward now, filled with unspoken words. “It helped me too, a lot, believe it or not.” He paused again, looking at me with uncertainty. “If we’re going to be friends, for real, we should have each other’s number.” He held out his phone to me.
I stared at it like it was a foreign object for a moment before taking it. “You mean, so you don’t have to just show up at my apartment at random hours to get ahold of me?” I said the words teasingly, trying to break the awkward tension, but Tyler looked almost ashamed.
“Yeah, something like that.” He took his phone back after I was finished. “I’ll send you a text now, so you have mine.”
I nodded, and we started to move. A warm breeze washed over us as we headed toward his car. That night several years ago we had made the same journey, but instead of walking several feet apart like we were now, my fingers had been wrapped in his, our hearts, our souls intertwined. Tonight there was none of that. We were friends, Tyler Nusom and I, the man who had once loved me, and I knew that was more than I deserved.
“Excuse me, George, do you have a minute?” George glanced up from the mountain of paperwork on his desk. He smiled at me, his sparse hair slicked back on his head.
“Sure Tyler, everything all right?”
In context of work, things weren’t all right, but there wasn’t much I could do about that. Ever since Darren had fucked with my work, and George, while seeming to believe me, had not fired him some months ago, things had been tedious for me. Tension with Darren was ever-present and I had the incessant obligation to close up the shop every day, for fear Darren would fuck with my things again. I’d discussed all of these things with George, just like Rowan and I had talked about. It wasn’t an issue of dating his daughter, but of sabotage by an employee that could not only get me fired, but ruin the company.
George had listened to my grievances and quickly brushed them under the rug, almost willing to accept that something had gone wrong with one of us – either Darren or I – but that he didn’t want to truly acknowledge that someone had done something really shitty. I had the feeling he feared losing either of us, which seemed like a joke to me. Darren was undoubtedly one of the worst technicians we had, only half-assing most of his jobs – not to mention he was a shit person – but George didn’t seem to see things my way. So instead of bringing it up over and over again, I just went to the extra trouble of staying late, and constantly checking my work, especially right before a customer picked up. I’d been doing this for months now and I was exhausted, but that didn’t change anything – it wouldn’t. I wouldn’t leave Steel. I couldn’t.
None of these grievances were why I stood in George’s office today, a Wednesday.
“Everything is fine. I just wanted to talk to you about something. Do you mind?” I motioned to the door.
“Go ahead.” He waved his hand, and I shut it. “What is it?”
I sat down and reached into my pocket. I hadn’t expected to feel so nervous. I knew George well, had worked with him for several years now, and had dated Rowan for almost as long – this should have been easy, but it wasn’t.
“I want to propose to your daughter.” The little purple felt box emerged from my pocket after several seconds of prying with my fingers. “I’m in love with her,” I added.
He raised his brows at me. They were dark and thick, somehow darker than the hair on his head. “Marriage, huh? You think you’re ready for that?”
“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.” I had never spoken more true words. I had put this ring on layaway over a year ago, paying diligently on it each month until it was finally mine. I had picked it up yesterday evening from the jeweler. “I knew I wanted to marry her from the moment I laid eyes on her, sir.” I knew I sounded like a corny suck up – but I meant everything. If two people were ever destined to be together, it would have been Rowan and I. There was no one else in the world for me.
“It’s a big commitment,” George continued, as if I hadn’t spoken my words of dying love for her. “Marriage is forever – a long time. Too long, if you ask me.” I had never heard George speak about his short-lived marriage to Rowan’s mother. “Happiness with another person isn’t easy. Things seem easy at first, but they can fall apart so quickly.” He clasped his hands together on top of the paperwork in front of him. “Like that.” He snapped his fingers.
“Yes, sir. I know that, but for Rowan I’ll do anything to make things work. Anything.” I hadn’t expected this, to have to convince him. I knew he liked me as a person and he liked Rowan and I together as a couple.
“Did I ever tell you about my divorce, Tyler?”
“No,” I said quickly, even Rowan had never mentioned it before.
“She loved me…” he paused and sucked in a deep breath, glancing up at the ceiling, “until she didn’t anymore. I followed her across the world. Anything, like you said. Anything to be with her. But sometimes anything isn’t enough when you can’t give them everything all at once.”
I frowned, not following him. The story Rowan had always shared about his immigration from Italy involved a falling out with his family, and had nothing to do with a woman, her mother.
“Some women, like Rowan’s mother, want it all, son. The wind, the stars, the sky itself, and when you can’t give it to them,” he snapped his fingers again. “They disappear and leave behind everything, as if they never were.”
I mulled over his words for a moment, surprised by them. Was he really trying to discourage me because Rowan might leave me, wanting more someday? “I’m willing to take my chances with Rowan, sir. She’s worth the risk.”
A thin smile graced George’s lips. “You’re a good man, Tyler. Rowan is lucky to have you.” He stood and held out his hand to me. “I’d be thrilled for you to ask my daughter to marry you.”
The rest of the day seemed to pass by slowly. Now that I had the ring and George’s blessing, I wanted to shout my love from the mountaintops. I wanted ask her, I wanted Rowan to promise to be my wife. Maybe part of it had to do with George’s words, his foreboding that she may not be happy with me, not forever. They made me want to hurry that much more, to have my ring around her finger before she could leave me.
As I drove home that night, I debated asking her the moment I walked through our apartment door. Originally, in my head, I had planned out something over the top, significant, fancy, something she would never forget. Now I didn’t think I could stand it enough to wait. I just wanted her to be mine, forever.
When I came through the front door, she sat on the couch watching TV. She didn’t look at me as I set my wallet on the counter. Unusual.
“Hey babe,” I said.
“Hi.” She still didn’t look at me.
“You have a good day?”
“Eh.” She shrugged, her gaze still on the TV.
I frowned and came around to sit next to her. “What’s the matter?”
“Tyler, don’t sit on the couch in your work clothes, you know how hard it is to get those grease stains out.”
I popped back up immediately, standing over her, in front of the TV, giving her no other choice, but to look at me.
“What’s the matter, babe?”
Rowan’s gaze finally met mine. She shook her head. “Nothing,” Her sad eyes gave nothing away. “I left you some chicken salad. It’s in the fridge.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I’m not mad.”
“Well, you ate without me, again.”
“It’s after nine, Tyler,” she said sadly. “It’s late, even for dinner.”
Was it that late? A glance at the digital clock on the microwave proved her words to be true. Rowan eating dinner without me hadn’t bothered me much before. I knew I was getting home late, and she got hungry before I got home, but now she seemed upset with me about it – as if she didn’t know why I was home so late.
“Are you seriously upset with me? You know I have to stay late so Darren doesn’t fuck with my work.”
She looked away. “I know.”
“Then why are you practically ignoring me?” I bent down and reached out my hand to turn her face toward mine, but she jerked away before I could.
“I’m just tired, Tyler, that’s all.” Rowan got up from the couch and moved toward the bedroom, leaving me alone in the living room. Just moments before, I had been in my car, speeding down the highway, desperate to see her, to be with her, to ask her to be my wife, and now she wouldn’t even look at me.
I rubbed the back of my head, looking for signs that I had been knocked out and awoken in some sort of nightmare, but the back of my head was smooth and I was alone.
The engine of my black Camaro roared as I drove down the highway. Evie sat next to me in the passenger seat. Her long blonde hair framed her tanned body, covered only in tiny white shorts and a blue tube top. We were headed to a Lee Brice concert in Dallas, about an hour or so outside of our little city. Evie and I weren’t the only ones headed that way. No, this event was a quadruple date that included Victor and Mina, Rowan and Owen, and Stacie and some guy named Chad that I’d never met before. If someone had told me a few months ago – hell, even a little over a month ago – that I would be going on group dates that included Rowan and Owen, or Rowan and anyone, I would have called them a damn liar.
As it went, I had been a part of planning this group date. It had been a month since George Steel had died, and a month since Rowan and I had become friends. Friends. Just friends. That’s all it was. I’d seen her twice since the day George had passed. Like friends, we made time to meet up for dinner once, and drinks the other time, though for this second round of drinks her friend Stacie had accompanied her. Stacie, as it turned out, really didn’t care for me, even though she didn’t know me.
Though it wasn’t from Rowan that I found out about her and Owen becoming an item – I’d overheard that at the shop, when Owen was telling one of the other techs about his plans one night. Plans with Rowan – a romantic evening, he’d called it. Which turned out to be dinner and a movie. The notion itself had made me laugh internally. Rowan would never find dinner and a movie a romantic date. She wasn’t some teenager who wanted to make out the whole movie. She was an adult woman who liked conversations about politics, current events, and of course, reality television. The movies had been the sort of date we went on when we were all talked out for the day, when we just wanted to sit and enjoy something together without having to share words. My guess was, Rowan was either tired of talking, or Owen didn’t know even the slightest bit about what she liked. I assumed it was probably both.
It was why I wasn’t bothered by their new relationship, or whatever it was. It wouldn’t last long – of that I was certain. Of course, it also didn’t bother me because I was with Evie, my gorgeous cheerleader, and Rowan was just my friend.
It was that simple.
Tonight, this group date was about proving that friendship. Proving that I was okay with all of this. Evie hadn’t been happy when I announced to her that Rowan and I were going to be friends. She had sulked around for over a week, acting clingier than she ever had, which worked fine for me. She slept over nearly every night, and we stayed up late fucking in every position we could come up with.
“You’re my girl,” I whispered against her sweaty forehead one night. “Just you.” I meant those words. I wanted to be with Evie. I wanted to make her happy. I believed I could. I could be in a happy relationship with Evie and still be friends with Rowan.
When we arrived the parking lot was packed, but we managed to find a spot somewhere at the back. We were running late, as per usual due to Evie’s long-term getting ready schedule. By the time we reached the main entrance, I saw them, or rather, I saw Rowan.
She wore tiny blue jean shorts, the shortest I’d ever seen her wear in my life. They stretched tightly across her ass. Her tank top was also skin-tight, revealing all of her curves. Her dark brown hair was down, not in its signature braid, and she had curled it, as under normal circumstances it was usually just wavy. Cowboy boots completed her outfit, and when she turned and caught my gaze, I realized she was wearing make-up, or at least more make-up than she usually wore. Her honey-brown eyes popped. I sucked in a breath, taking her in. Rowan was gorgeous always, but I’d never seen her quite like this before, embracing herself fully.
Her gaze didn’t linger on mine, at least not for long. She turned back to Owen and giggled at whatever he said. I, however, was left dumbstruck staring at her.
“Hey bud.” Victor came up and gave me a half hug that ended with a slap on the back, effectively jerking my gaze away from Rowan.
“Oh, hey man. Y’all been here long?”
Vic shook his head. “Nope just for a few minutes.” He leaned in closer. “Tell me again why we invited the Steel slut to this?”
“Shut the fuck up, man.” I snapped. “Be an adult about this.”
Vic leaned back, his eyes narrowed unhappily. “Whatever.” He turned his
attention to Evie, whom I’d forgotten was standing next me, being unusually quiet. “Hey there, pretty lady…”
I welcomed her distraction and let my gaze return to Rowan. She was talking to Stacie now, who was dressed similarly. Her face was animated with excitement as they spoke quickly to one another.
“Hey Tyler.”
I nodded at Owen, jerking my gaze from Rowan again. “Hey. How’s it going?”
“Pretty good. I thought you guys were never gonna make it.”
I shrugged. “The lady needs her time getting ready.”
“Hi Tyler.”
I sucked in a breath at the sound of her voice.
She’s your fucking friend, Tyler. You’ve been spending time with her as friends for over a month. Get your shit together.
I turned to Rowan. “Hey.” I reached my arm out and pulled her into a half hug. Her skin was smooth under my fingertips. “You ready to see Lee Brice?” She smelled like a honeyed nectar, the smooth notes rose from her golden skin and hair, tempting me to lean closer and breathe deeper.
“You know it!” She pulled back and smiled up at me. “I’ve been dying to see him in concert for years. Had to get all fixed up in case he wants to pull me up on stage.” She winked at me.
I knew this, of course. It was why I chose Lee Brice when I looked at the upcoming performers. She loved Lee Brice – had wanted to see him in concert since I’d known her.
It didn’t mean anything though, just a friend looking out for another friend’s interests.
“Well, now that everyone is here.” Owen gave Evie and me the stink eye. She had come up between Rowan and me, her hand slithering into mine. “Can we please go in? I’m ready for a beer and some good country music.”
“Here, here!” Victor called out.
Evie and I led the pack inside the outdoor performance center, with the melody of Rowan’s voice carrying us inside.
She’s your friend, Tyler. You love Evie. Remember?
***
The concert went on without a hitch. We were at the Dallas Globe Life theater, which was practically an outdoor airdome, with the more expensive seats covered by the dome. I’d managed to snag some standing room tickets that were right up on stage through one of our shop customers who worked for the theater.
The Truth About Us Page 13
