by Suzie Carr
The Dance
By Suzie Carr
Copyright © 2016, Suzie Carr. All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Cover photography: Amanda Robertson
For you, Fee Fee. Your light inspires and amazes me.
Prologue
Jacky Applebaum always knew her inner circle – as she lovingly referred to them – was a mismatched bunch from the very start. Jacky stood at the wayside of their bunch, too cautious, too impatient. That night marked their fifth year anniversary as a viable dog training and daycare facility, and many came to help them celebrate.
Jacky hovered over the dessert table, wavering between the pecan tart and the flan. From her vantage point, she caught sight of Marie, her best friend and business partner, defending her stance on RVing over hotel stays to Greg, one of the lead trainers whose face turned a deeper shade of red with each octave Marie climbed. Marie loved a good debate. She was loyal, but not a pushover by any stretch of the imagination. She had a knack for spotting fake and showed no qualms toward pointing out inconsistencies. Greg’s face verged on blood red as Marie continued her rant, waving her hands and pointing her finger as she enjoyed dipping into her rebuttal. People didn’t mess with Marie. She owned the room with all of her six-foot height and sharp-focused eyes. Though she might’ve appeared drill-sergeant tough on the outside, on the inside, a soft core of sincerity and love flowed.
Hazel, Marie’s friend, stood beside Marie looking every bit as uncomfortable as she would if standing in a box full of spiders. Her eyes darted back and forth between Marie and Greg, and her lips did that twitching thing they did every time Marie heated up into a good debate. Hazel was the most balanced of them all in the Inner Circle, always sweeping up after Jacky and Marie’s quarrels and smoothing over any residual rough edges with quiet grace. She always appeared and disappeared on a whisper.
Jacky glanced at a reflection of herself in the mirrored wall. She wore her light-colored hair down and flipped up the ends slightly to create body. Even in the dimly lit room, she could tell her hair needed new highlights to spruce it back up to its sunnier look. Not exactly a priority, though.
She looked back down to the desserts and chose the flan. She spooned some into her mouth. Scanning the room, she spotted Sophie, her step-daughter, talking with a couple of her giggly friends. She wore a dress way too short and a tad bit on the see-through side to be appropriate. Sophie could charm her way into and out of anything. Her friends adored her. They watched in awe as she began to direct a waiter to refill the water pitchers on every table. Sophie was charismatic and brimming with innocence, in a subtle and contagious way, always mesmerized and excited about something or another. Her deep dimples and spunky spirit kept Jacky on her toes, running every which way to keep her entertained.
Drew, Jacky’s wife, snuck up behind her, placing her chin on Jacky’s shoulder. They stared at their daughter for a moment in silence. “She’s so bossy,” Drew said.
Jacky reached down and took her wife’s hand. “Just like her momma.”
Drew smirked and gulped a mouthful of wine.
Jacky then stole the glass from Drew and also gulped back a hearty mouthful.
In a few short weeks, they’d celebrate eight years together. All in all, the years had been kind, overflowing with laughter, teasing, and half-baked attempts at discerning the purpose of life. After all that time, Jacky never tired of lounging in bed on Sunday mornings reading The Sun and planning the next twenty-year trek through time. Teasing Sophie, petting their dog, Rosy, and filling the flannel bed sheets with biscuit crumbs had punctuated their past, present and undoubtedly their future. And Jacky couldn’t be any happier.
Little did Jacky know, however, that life would soon take a reckless detour, one triggered by two heavy and regrettable words.
Chapter One
It all started with Jacky asking Drew to pass the salt. She passed the pepper instead. “Where are you tonight?” Jacky asked, pushing the pepper shaker toward Sophie.
Sophie, in all of her thirteen years of age, put down her fork and folded her hands under her chin, steadying in for the analysis. “Yeah, Mom. You’re not here. I mean physically, yes, but you’re playing with your spaghetti.”
“I’ve got a lot on my mind.” She darted from Jacky to Sophie like a cornered stray cat bracing for attack. “Cut me some slack.”
“Okay chill out.” Jacky reached over the silk flower arrangement and grabbed the salt. She disliked the arrangement with its fake daisies and leaves. They collected dust and reminded her of a waiting room in a doctor’s office. They couldn’t grow live ones, though. They never remembered to water them. So, they chose plastic over dead leaves.
Drew played with her broccoli florets, pushing them around the plate with clumsy strokes.
Jacky stopped twirling her spaghetti. “We’re just concerned. That’s all. You’ve been running around looking exhausted for days now.”
“Days?” Sophie cut in. “More like months.” She shoveled a pile of spaghetti into her mouth.
Drew fiddled with a chunk of parmesan cheese now. “I could really use an extra hour each day. Just one additional hour would do me wonders.” She shook her head, fighting herself on the inadequacy of a twenty-four hour day.
Since Jacky met her, Drew operated at blazing speed. She always bounced around activities and work like a restless Boston terrier, sniffing and scurrying about. But that night, something distracted her. Her overstimulated brain skipped on the edge of a groove. She never played with her food. She normally devoured it.
“So that’s it?” Jacky sipped her lemonade. “You’re just busy and overwhelmed?”
She twirled a lone spaghetti strand. “That’s it, babe.” She looked up and forced a smile. “I just need a good night’s sleep.”
Stress oozed from every fine line on her face. Or was it sadness?
“Well, let’s talk about something not work related then,” Sophie said. “I have to do a presentation for school. Maybe I could talk about my family. You know, how you met and all that.” She pushed a meatball out of the way. “By the way, Ashley and her mom became vegetarians. We should consider it too. Ms. Kendall saw a video about how cattle meat is processed.” Sophie scrunched her face. “It’s disgusting.”
Jacky wrapped her hand around Drew’s wrist. “We need to get her different friends.”
Drew’s face flushed deep red. “Don’t be silly.”
“I’m joking, sweetheart.” She tickled her side, and Drew squirmed and squealed.
“I’m not going to stop until you promise to drop the bad mood.”
Drew’s laughter filled the kitchen, warming up the drabness instantly. Even the fake flowers took on a livelier glow.
“Okay,” Drew squealed. “Yes, okay, it’s gone.”
Jacky stopped, and took in the beautiful twinkle resting in Drew’s light eyes. Even with her strawberry blonde hair pulled back into its messy bun, she looked stunning.
Drew laughed, and covered her mouth. Oh how Jacky loved when she did that. For a momentary span of time, her wife revealed that sweet, quiet side she adored; a monumental shift from the dueling side of that personality where confidence coated every move, slight or bold.
Jacky eased back against the chair, enjoying the return of their familiar lively vibe. She took a long, restorative bre
ath. “Did I ever tell you how I fell in love with your mother the first day I met her?” she asked Sophie.
“Oh, juicy material for my presentation.” Sophie scooted up. “Tell me.”
Jacky regarded the half smile on Drew’s face. “Well, we met at a Walk for Paws event on an unusually cold October day.”
“How cold?” Sophie asked. “I need details.”
“Forty something degrees.”
“In Maryland?”
Jacky nodded. “So, I was prancing around in a circle with a dancing Calhoun named Dixie when I noticed your mother videotaping me.”
Drew raised her eyebrow. “You make me sound like a stalker.”
“Well, Mom, in all fairness, you can be sometimes. I mean you hide in bushes to get the right shot.”
Drew did. As a photographer, Drew circled the state for the next big story. She hid in bushes and behind cars. Hell, she once even scaled a fire escape to get a bird’s eye view of the mayor in a parade.
“So anyway,” Jacky said, eyeing her beautiful wife, “she hopped over a pair of Yorkies to get to me. She carried this big video camera on her shoulder.”
“On her shoulder?” Sophie asked. “They’re so scrawny.”
“Hey,” Drew pointed her finger at her daughter. “You’ve got the same ones, so zip it.”
“So, yeah, your mother came bolting at me with that camera. She had that look she gets when she realizes she’s ten minutes late for American Idol.”
“Like this?” Sophie stretched her neck and began wagging her head like a chicken.
“Exactly.”
“I do not look that way.” Drew folded her arms across her pink Nike t-shirt.
“Yeah, you do, Mom.”
Drew shot Sophie a twisted smile.
“So your mom comes up to me with her head all wagging and neck stretched like she’s pecking for feed.”
Drew leaned back with a scowl, and Sophie all but spit out the lemonade she just sipped.
“She puts a mic in front of me and starts interviewing, all business-like. ‘We’re here with our own local Dog Whisperer, Jacky Applebaum. Ms. Applebaum, tell us how you got started.’” Jacky mimicked Drew’s reporter-style voice.
“What did you say?” Drew nudged. “Go ahead tell her what happened.”
“For the first time in my life, I couldn’t get my tongue to work. It got stuck in the back of my throat. She mesmerized me with that delicate smile.”
“Aw.” Sophie wiped some spaghetti sauce from her mouth with the back of her hand. “Love at first sight, then?”
“Sort of,” Jacky said.
Drew slapped Jacky’s hand. “Sort of?”
“I’d call it puppy love,” Jacky said. “The next night. That’s when I fell in love. I fell right down that abyss, and I’ve never been able to get of it out since.”
Drew picked up her glass. “It was the Mai Tai.”
Jacky gazed into Drew’s baby blue eyes, remembering back to their first date. “The Mai Tai, huh?”
Drew nodded.
The Mai Tai did help to calm Jacky’s nerves that night. The very fact that Jacky had conjured up enough nerve to even ask Drew out still astounded her. Gripped by the idea of Drew disappearing from her life, though, Jacky stepped into boldness. Right there in the training circle at Walk for Paws, as Drew turned to walk away, Jacky grabbed for her arm and blurted out the invite to meet up for drinks the next night.
Jacky chuckled at the memory. “We can’t credit the Mai Tai. The bartender watered it down.”
“Then, what? Her smile again?” Sophie asked, rolling her eyes.
“No. Not the smile either.”
“Geez,” Sophie sighed. “What the hell can we credit?”
“Watch your mouth, young lady.” Drew squinted at her.
“Fine. What the heck can we credit?”
Jacky tossed her napkin on the table. “The Crab Rangoon.”
“The Crab Rangoon?” Drew laughed.
“Yup. The way you ate them with reckless abandon stole my heart. You ate with such gusto. I’d never met a woman who ate with such passion and disregard for utensils as you. From that first fervent bite, our journey began. From there it blazed the open road.”
“Really?” Drew mouthed at her.
Jacky nodded on a wink.
“How can this be the first time I’m hearing this story?” Sophie slurped another mouthful of spaghetti.
“You never asked, kiddo.”
~ ~
Later that night when Jacky returned from a walk with Rosy, their Retriever Spaniel mix, she noticed the freezer door open. She closed it and walked up the stairs to Sophie’s room. She knocked and opened the door. She discovered Sophie sprawled out on her bed and on the phone.
“Did you go into the freezer for anything after dinner?”
“Hang on, Ashley.” Sophie tore off her earphones. “No. Why?”
Jacky sighed. Drew left it open again. “Don’t worry about it, kiddo. And don’t stay up too late.”
Sophie stuck her earphones back in. “Oh my God, I know. Did you see how he looked at you?”
Jacky closed the door on her giggle.
She ventured down the hall to their bedroom. She entered their spacious room and landed her eyes on the ruffled bed. Drew already tucked herself under the blankets, with her back to her.
Jacky sat on the edge of the bed, taking in the soft shadows all around her. The faint scent of lavender played on her senses, dulling the subtle pulse of annoyance that plagued her only moments ago. “Are you awake?”
“I am now,” she mumbled.
Jacky climbed under the covers and stared at the back of Drew’s head. Her bun resembled a small animal’s nest the way it matted and twisted. She feathered her hand down Drew’s shoulder and arm. “You left the freezer open again.”
“Mm. Did I?” She stiffened under her touch.
Jacky dropped her hand. “Unless Rosy can do a new trick.”
Drew tightened the fluffy comforter around her. “Sorry. It won’t happen again.”
Jacky remained silent watching her wife cocoon herself. She placed her hand on Drew’s shoulder again. “You need to slow down.”
“I’m fine.”
Drew was always fine. She piled to-do items onto her plate until it overflowed, drowning out their family time. If a new assignment across the state didn’t tempt her, she flung herself into a new activity or class. She craved adventure, circling the state of Maryland with her video camera and tripod to capture the heart of living and breathing new experiences.
Jacky undid her ponytail elastic, allowing her scalp a break from the tight pull. She ran her fingers through her hair, then looked around their bedroom again. She knew Drew was an adventurist the moment she met her. She just never understood how lonely being married to one could be until they sank into the routine of life together.
Sophie didn’t veer far from being an adventurist, too. She mirrored her mother not only in looks, but in her primal pursuit of exploration. By age five, Sophie had already taken a ride on a helicopter, explored part of the Appalachian Trail on horseback, and recorded her very first snorkeling expedition in a documentary where she educated and entertained her audience on the importance of safety and fun, as good as a five year-old could.
Would they ever slow down and take a breath? “Why do you do it?”
Drew rolled over. “Do what?”
“Try to escape through more and more commitments.”
“I left the freezer open and suddenly I’m escaping and taking on too many commitments?”
“Are you?” It’s a legit question.
Drew groaned.
“I’m just concerned,” Jacky continued. “Last week you forgot to turn off the outdoor lights, the week before that you left your car running in the driveway, and three days ago you forgot to take the bag of milk and eggs out of the trunk.”
Drew cradled Jacky’s hand and grinned. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe turning forty
has changed me into a tired old woman.”
Jacky relied on that upward curve of Drew’s mouth far too much. She reacted to it like a child to a puppet. It catapulted her from the brinks of upset to bright sunshine in a matter of nanoseconds. “What does that make me then?” Jacky joked.
“A tired older woman by six months, I suppose.”
Jacky pulled out Drew’s messy bun and ran her fingers through the layers. “We need a vacation.”
“Soon,” she whispered. “I promise.”
She traced her finger along Drew’s warm lips. “It’s been so long,” Jacky whispered, hinting her desire.
A dramatic pause ensued.
“Maybe tomorrow? I’m tired, babe.”
“Of course.” Jacky lowered her finger and rolled over. It had only been four months. What would another night hurt?
Jacky cradled her head against the pillow and stared off into the dark night. In the shadows of the hours that passed, Jacky lay in a tangle of restless thoughts.
Comfort and routine had long ago taken over the early thrills and adrenaline rushes of their first years. Dinners grew cold on the counter, laundry piled up in the corners of their bedrooms, and suggestive kisses turned into quick pecks on the cheek as one of them rushed out of the house for an all-important meeting or activity.
One day, Drew kept promising. We’ll take a nice vacation. We’ll tuck ourselves into a mountain-side resort where entertainment will consist of roasting marshmallows over an open fire pit and hiking the great outdoors in search of peace and stimulating conversation about the future, outer space, and the purpose of life. Trust me, she’d say.
Jacky tossed and turned. She trusted in Drew’s plan to take that vacation, and hopefully in so doing, they would be able to get everything back on track again.
The next morning, Jacky woke to an empty bed. She rose, petted Rosy, and then checked the bathroom, the kitchen, and the living room.
She ventured back upstairs and peeked in on Sophie. She found her talking on the phone to Ashley again. “Hey, have you seen your mom?”
