“I do feel uncomfortable with this conversation. I feel as if we’re arguing.”
“Because we are,” he said, then let me go. “Blyss, have you never had an argument with anyone before?” I shook my head, and he turned around and went back to sit by the fire. “You’re not ready for what BDSM is. You most likely never will be. If you’re uncomfortable with this, then you’ll hate what the other is. Degradation, humiliation, and insecurity are far worse than a tiny argument about being in love. And the fact is, I love you too much to put you through something that might shatter your delicate psyche.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and huffed, “I’m the damn psychologist, not you. I’ll decide what will and won’t break me. I think it’s odd the first argument I’ve ever had is with my Dom about finally bringing BDSM into our lives. I suppose I’ll have to put myself right back up for auction when our contract is up if I want to get the experience I came for.”
“Like hell, you will,” he shouted. “I own your ass, remember? Now, come over here, sit next to your Dom, and let him tell you how much he loves you. Then he’ll show you what you mean to him. And not another word about putting yourself back up for auction. You never know, I may extend our contract.”
All I could do was stare at the man who had me over a barrel. Did he honestly think he could make me fall in love with him?
Part 2
Troy
Blyss wanted more—a lot more than she was ready for. I had a feeling she wanted to break. Maybe there was a demon inside of her who wanted to own her. She had said she was born addicted to many things. God only knew what kinds of demons her mother fought or gave up the fight to. She had put her baby in a box and left her, after all.
Was there something inside of her that wanted her flesh punished? Was there something buried deep within her soul that yearned to be hurt?
Blyss was angelic in physical attributes. Treating her the way I had other subs wasn’t coming naturally to me. But maybe I wasn’t being what she needed me to be. Maybe that’s why she wasn’t saying the words that I wanted to hear. The night was eerie. A cool breeze moved through the forest, making the trees moan and whisper to one another. A full moon had many of the creatures that lived there scurrying about more than usual.
“You really want to go to the club, Blyss?”
She nodded as she stared at the campfire. “I thought you would understand my need for this. Not only because I want to write my thesis …”
“Stop right there.”
She looked at me with curious eyes. “Why?”
“Because you don’t understand this lifestyle at all. You don’t do these things just so you can write about them. You have these experiences because you can’t stop thinking about them. You have a desire to do them for yourself—not anyone else. That includes writing a paper about the experiences. The fact you don’t understand that is one of the many reasons I don’t want to put you through anything. Not yet.”
“Well, we only have a little over two months left. So, when do you think you’ll see fit to showing me what I came to see?”
Frustration was building in her. I could see it in everything she did. Was I wrong to deny her? Was I treating her like a girlfriend instead of what she signed up for—to be a Submissive? Was I short-changing her?
I made a sudden decision, putting her needs first and my feelings second. “Take off your clothes and go face that tree over there.” I pointed at a giant tree that was surrounded by dark shadows as the fire’s light bounced off its dark trunk.
“What are you going …”
“Hush! Do as I say, Sub.” I didn’t look at her as I tried to steady my mind. I didn’t want to do anything like this to her, but her sweet nature was changing because I wasn’t keeping up my end of our deal. And if I never gave her what she wanted, she would put herself back on the auction block and find someone who might hurt her. Just the thought of another man having anything to do with her made my gut clench.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a smile fill her face as she jumped up to do what I’d told her to. She had no idea of what I was about to do. I had to be honest—I only had half an idea of what I was about to do, myself.
If she had demons inside who needed tending to, then who better than I to do that?
My inner demons needed to be fed occasionally too. Why was I putting Blyss on a pedal stool? Why was I treating her like a princess all the time, when some of the time she wanted to be treated like a lowly slave? Blyss might look like an angel, but she wanted to be treated like a sinner every once in a while. I wasn’t living up to what my duty was to her. I finally realized it that night.
The conditions were right for her to be introduced into the dark underbelly of life. An owl hooted, then flew through the treetops, screeching its approval of what was about to happen to her. Or maybe it was a warning not to go through with it. I wasn’t sure of that. The only thing I was sure of was that the woman I’d grown to love wanted more and I knew how to give it to her. She was mine to care for, in whatever way she needed to be cared for. Her dark side needed to be brought to light, and that night it would be set free.
In a box in the back of my Jeep were the things I typically used on my subs. I went to it and pulled out the ropes I’d tie her to the tree with. Then I got out the whip. I wasn’t sure if I’d hit her with it or merely snap it around her body, but I was about to let her see what being a Sub was all about. My blue jean shorts and T-shirt weren’t putting me into Dom mode. I ducked into the tent and put on the loose-fitting black warmups I liked to wear when changing mental gears from average Joe to demanding Dom.
When I came back out of the tent, I saw she was still facing the tree, standing stone still. Moving in behind her, I ran the rough rope around her upper body with one loop, then tied it off. “I’m going to tie you to this tree, Sub. Do you know why I’m doing this to you?”
“Because I’ve asked you to, Master.” Her eyes were glazed over. I had no idea if she was actually in that zone that Subs eventually learned to go into or what the deal was. But she had the same look seasoned pros would get before they received a punishment.
Running the rope around the tree, I pulled her tightly to it. I had to make sure she couldn’t move. I didn’t want her to even flinch, or the whip might hit her when I didn’t want it to, or it might hit her in a place it shouldn’t. I still was unsure if I’d allow her pristine flesh to be broken. She was a rare beauty, unspoiled by any scars at all.
I suppose when one makes reading her life, then one never does things that might end up leaving scars. But Blyss had them in her brain. She had many scars there. As I ran the rope around her, I thought about balance and how the pain in her mind might not be balancing with the relative painlessness of her outer existence. Was what I was about to do going to help create that balance?
As I pulled the rope tightly around her ankles, then tied it off, Blyss was completely secured to the tree. Unable to move a muscle. That, in itself, was a form of discipline. So I decided to make sure she needed anything more than that. “Blyss, I’m going to leave you tied up, unable to move at all, for a period of ten minutes. That will be your punishment for tonight.”
She turned her head, and when her eyes met mine, I saw the reflection of the campfire in them. It sent a chill through me. “Master, I desire more.” She looked at the whip I had lying on the ground. “Were you going to use that whip on me?”
“I wasn’t sure about that.”
“Did you use that on your other Subs?”
She knew I hated for her to bring shit like that up. “It doesn’t matter what I did with the others, Blyss. You’re not like them.”
“I want to feel it.” She looked at me with eyes that glistened as tears welled up in them. “Please, Troy. I want to feel it.”
A knot had formed in my throat. She wanted to feel it. Her body had gone untouched for so damn long, she yearned to feel all she could. The bitch that was her mother deserved to rot in hell for wha
t she’d done to an innocent baby. Blyss was lucky it was me who came into her life. God only knew what would’ve happened to her if a sadistic asshole had won her.
I kissed her lips with a sweet kiss. I wanted the last taste of her BDSM virgin lips. After she experienced the pain of the whip, both physically and mentally, she’d be changed. Forever!
Blyss
My mind was quiet as I got ready to feel the whip across my back. Troy leaned in close, his breath was hot on my neck. “What is our safe word, Sub?”
“Cherry.”
“Good girl. I’m going to use this whip on you now. Or I might only brandish it around your body.”
“Please, Master …”
“Be quiet!” His tone was strict; his body went rigid behind mine. “I will do with you as I please. No more back talk out of you.”
I nodded and felt let down—depressed about the fact that he wasn’t going to do to me what I wanted. My body had been on fire for him to take me sexually. The sex we had was far better than I thought sex could even be. Why couldn’t he allow me to feel what he’d given others?
The same way that sex had preoccupied my mind before he gave it to me, so was the thought of feeling him do to me what he’d done to others. It wasn’t one of the things I’d thought a lot about when I’d signed up for this. After getting involved with Troy, I wanted more. I wanted to feel his power. It was all I could think about.
I’d dreamt of him paddling me, stringing me up, blindfolding me, gagging me, and even whipping me. When I’d seen that whip lying on the ground, my mind had blurred with excitement. And when he’d said that he might not hit me with it, I’d wanted to cry. I yearned to feel it on my skin, but he’d shut me down before I could explain a thing to him.
“Yes, master,” my voice quivered.
He took me by the chin, running the pad of his thumb over my lower lip. “Tell me why you want me to strike you. And please refrain from saying it’s because of what I did with others.” His eyes were almost completely green as he looked at me like he was searching my mind for answers even I didn’t have.
“My body yearns to feel your power. That’s the only way I can explain it, master.”
With a nod, he kissed my cheek. “Then you will feel my power, Sub. Promise me you will call out the safe word before your body is overly taxed by the whip, and I will fulfill your need.”
“I promise you, I will call it out before I’m overwhelmed, master.” My heart was pounding with excitement.
He was going to actually do it!
Finally, I’d feel the same thing he’d given other women. The elation that was running through me and my body was tingling with anticipation. I was about to have my first BDSM experience! He moved back several steps and I heard the tiny limbs breaking under his feet as he backed up. The crickets chirped, an owl screeched for the second time that night, and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
A whooshing sound met my ears, then a thunderous crack came to my right side. It was so close; I could feel the air it moved. I stopped breathing as I thought about what that might actually feel like on my skin. The whip cracked on the other side of me, sending my body into a tense state beyond any tension I’d ever felt before. Everything in me tried to get away from the thing that threatened me, but I was tied so tightly, I couldn’t move a thing except my head. And that was tucked in, without me thinking about it, keeping it safely out of the whip’s reach.
Troy popped the whip around my body about fifteen times. It was so strange how I went from deathly afraid he’d hit me to wishing he’d just do it already. My entire body began to vibrate as it wanted the impact. The sound of the cracking whip was making me more than frustrated and I screamed with tension—a high-pitched scream that had the whip stopping. “Did I hit you?” Troy ran his hands over my back, looking for a place I’d been hit.
My breathing was ragged. “No, but I want to feel it. Please!”
Troy was so close to me; I could feel the heat of his body on my back. “Are you sure, Blyss?”
“Don’t call me that, please. I am your Submissive, master. A woman who is begging you to let her feel your power. Please!” I was nearly crying with the emotion that was overtaking me.
“I will give you what you want, Sub.” He took a few steps back and cracked the whip four times on either side of me, then one fell across my back and I shrieked with the pain. Something inside of me erupted as another lash pelted me. A couple of pops on either side of me had my body vibrating with urgency. It wanted more!
The searing pain had already vanished from the first two strikes. I wasn’t about to call out the safe word. Another strike sent fresh heat through me. The scream that came out of my mouth did so without me thinking about it. Then I moaned as the burning continued and Troy popped the whip around me. I was shaking, but the roped held me, not allowing my body to move the way it needed to. One more lash fell across my back and I had to call out, “Cherry …” I sagged in the ropes as everything drained out of me.
Troy was moving fast, untying me. It was then that I realized I had started crying. Sobbing, actually. I didn’t know I was doing it and that bothered me a bit. I was picked up and carried to the tent. Troy laid me on my stomach and moved around as I kept on crying like a baby. My back was throbbing, my body ached, and I felt like a blob of nothing but pain.
Something cold was put on my back. “Blyss, are you okay?”
“Not really,” I got out between sobs.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to do that. I told you.”
“No, I’m glad you did. I … I …” my words were choked by my crying. A sudden burst of warmth rushed through me, as if a heater had come on inside of me. An odd warmth, a comforting feeling, moved through me and my head felt light. My crying stopped and I moaned with another sensation as Troy ran his hands over my back.
“This is a pain-relieving antibiotic ointment. There are a few places on your back that will take a few days to heal.” He began rubbing my shoulders as he leaned close to me. “Baby, don’t make me do that again. Please, don’t make me.”
I turned to my side and saw the distraught expression he was wearing. Running my hand over his bearded cheek, I felt sorry for him. “You didn’t like that?”
He shook his head. “I hated it. And you waited so long to call out the safe word.” He shuddered, then hugged me. “Blyss, I don’t like the way you screamed. It was terrible. I felt as if I was killing you.”
I had no idea the sounds I had made were so disturbing. The man had done things like that before. Had the other women not reacted the way I had? Troy pulled back and I found he had a box of tissues. He wiped my eyes, then held one to my nose and I blew. No one had ever done that for me. He was taking care of me. Not that he hadn’t done that the entire time, but this felt different.
I sat up once I’d pulled myself together. “Master …”
“No! Troy. Not master. Not right now.” The look he gave me was stern. “You didn’t do what you were supposed to. You let it go too far.”
“To be honest with you, I think I went right where I wanted to be. I wasn’t crying from the physical pain, exactly. What I felt was much more primal. Isn’t that what’s supposed to happen?”
He sat back on his feet as he looked me over. “Much later it is. Not with your first time doing anything like this. Usually, one strike is given on the first time. Maybe two if the Sub’s pain threshold is high.”
“I think mine is really high.”
He shook his head, surprising me. “I don’t. The way you screamed told me that much.”
“I didn’t think I was screaming more than anyone else would.” He was beginning to make me feel uncomfortable about how I’d reacted and I wasn’t loving it at all. “Troy, did I go overboard?”
He looked at me without so much as blinking. “No. No, I shouldn’t be holding you to any kind of reaction. You reacted in a way that came naturally to you. You had a burst of energy that escaped you. It came out
the way it’s meant to, for you. I’m sorry. I’m overreacting so much with you.”
I was too much for the man. That was obvious. “If you want to end our contract …”
His hands gripped my shoulders. “NO! No, I don’t want to end anything. I don’t want you to seek out another Dom. You’re fragile.”
“I am not!” I was getting so tired of him thinking I was breakable.
His grip tightened as he looked into my eyes. “You listen to me, Blyss Danner, you are vulnerable and fragile. You may not like to hear that about yourself. I get it. I really do. You see yourself as a confident, smart woman. And you are that, but you’re also a little girl who was left all alone. Your cry was primal, much more so than any cry I’ve ever heard. I’m never walking away from you. I’m never allowing another person to take you on as a Submissive.”
“While that’s nice of you, I don’t need you to go to that much trouble with me.” He was overstepping his bounds. I hadn’t signed up to be with him forever, the way he was talking about.
“It’s not trouble. I actually feel obligated …”
It was me who stopped him as I put my finger to his lips. “No. Just stop, please. I don’t want you to feel obligated to me. Troy, I came here to learn, and now I see that I can learn even more than I ever thought I could. That release has left me feeling better than I’ve ever felt. Even better than after you and I have sex, and that’s saying something.”
The way he slouched didn’t make me happy. “That made you feel better than sex with me?”
I’d hurt his ego, something I hadn’t meant to do. But was I supposed to lie to him to save his feelings? “Troy, sex with you is great. Better than I knew it would be. But the way I felt, letting something go that was buried inside of me—that was unbelievable. It’s difficult to explain. It felt as if negative energy was shooting out of my head and out of the universe, where it could never harm me again. And I have you to thank for that. Please don’t stop it now.”
“There won’t be any more of that type of thing until your wounds have healed. So don’t even ask for that. But you do seem to need to cry more. You must’ve been a quiet kid.”
The Naughty One: A Doctor’s Christmas Romance (Season of Desire Book 2) Page 94
