by Burrows, Jax
‘Were you working in London four years ago?’
‘Yes, I was a registrar then, but needed a change, so, when my brother told me about the consultant post at Leytonsfield General A&E I applied.’
‘Your brother? I had no idea your brother worked at the hospital.’
‘Riordan’s Lead Consultant in Cardiology.’
‘Are you from Leytonsfield?’
‘Yep, born and raised. There are four of us; Riordan, me, then the twins – Josie and Jay. Josie’s a midwife and Jay is a paramedic. My father’s a GP and my mother used to be a midwife, but she stopped work when she had us.’
‘Are you close?’
‘Yes, very. They are the reason I came back here, because I missed my family. No matter how far we travel with our careers we all end up back home eventually. Josie’s in Australia at present and Jay’s in America, but they’ll be back for Christmas.’
Listening to Casey talk about his family was painful for Lexi. She had longed to be part of a big family like that. People who were close and looked out for each other. The closest she had to family was Jess and Craig. She and Jess had been brought up in the same children’s home and they were as close as sisters.
Casey leant forward on the table and looked her in the eye. ‘So, you see, Lexi, Jade has a big family waiting to meet her and fall in love with her. Riordan is a single dad and his son, Tom, is six years old. I bet they’ll be great friends.’
‘Have you told your family about Jade?’ The calamari turned to ash in her mouth. Jade didn’t know about her father yet; surely, he hadn’t told this huge family of his? What would they think of her? They’ll hate her on sight when they find out that they have had a granddaughter for three years and didn’t even know.
‘No. I want Jade to know first. Then I’ll introduce them, but she needs to be told soon. I wanted to make a fuss of her tonight when I collected you, but I couldn’t, I had to act as if I was a stranger to her. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? She’s mine, Lexi, as well as yours.’
The truth of that statement hit Lexi like a punch to the stomach. Jade had always been her daughter, only hers, but from now on she would have to share her with this man – this stranger – and his extensive family. Irrationally, she visualised Jade slipping away from her.
‘Yes, I know. Please be patient, Casey, I will tell her soon.’
They fell silent as the waiter brought the main course and poured the wine. Lexi picked up the glass and took a sip. Casey had started his steak already and finished before Lexi was halfway through her chicken. She wanted to tell him it wasn’t a race. She had always eaten slowly, savouring her food. With Casey, it didn’t seem to touch the sides.
Again, she had to suffer him watching her as she ate. This time, he asked the questions.
‘So, what about you? Where are you from?’
‘London. Born and bred. I trained as a nurse in St Mary’s, then got a job in a hospital on the outskirts of London.’
‘And your family?’
This was the question she’d been dreading. Although she should be used to telling people she was an orphan by now, it was different where Casey was concerned. He’d just been regaling her with details of his family life as if his circumstances were completely normal. He probably thought everyone had family like that. The reaction she usually got was pity and she didn’t want this man’s pity, but she wasn’t going to lie.
‘I don’t have family. I’m an orphan.’
She couldn’t look up. She didn’t want to see the look in his eyes. She heard him whisper, ‘I’m sorry,’ and his voice sounded startled as if it was the last thing he expected her to say.
‘Don’t be, I’m fine. Jade and I are fine. What you’ve never had, you don’t miss. Isn’t that what they say?’
‘They? Whoever “they” are tend to talk a load of rubbish. It can sometimes be the thing you’ve never had that you yearn for the most.’
Casey’s words nearly proved to be her undoing. He had inadvertently hit the nail on the head. For she wanted what he had so much. She had lain in bed, as a child, dreaming up an imaginary family. She used to talk to them and pretend that they answered her. Then, when she grew up and started reading romance novels, she always chose the ones with babies and families. She used to pretend she was the heroine of the novel and relived their happy-ever-after over and over in her mind.
She put her knife and fork down, as she couldn’t eat another mouthful. She kept her head down as tears burned the back of her eyes.
‘If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be back in a minute.’ He headed off in the direction of the toilets and Lexi was grateful for his thoughtfulness. He was giving her time to get herself together. She shook herself mentally and wiped her eyes.
When he returned, he said, ‘I’ve decided, I’m going to have the tiramisu.’
She managed to smile and say, ‘Sounds good, I’ll join you.’
‘How about a coffee? I’m just going to have an espresso as I’m driving but why don’t you have a liquor coffee?’
‘Okay, I’ll have mine with Tia Maria.’
‘Good.’ He summoned the waiter and gave their order.
*
Casey was shocked. She had no family. At all. He really hadn’t expected that. Thank goodness for Jess and Craig, at least she had their support with Jade. A single mother completely alone must struggle in so many ways, yet she insisted she was okay and managing fine. She was a proud lady, as well as a beautiful one.
He watched her as she ate her dessert, each mouthful being savoured and enjoyed. Lexi probably didn’t get the opportunity to dine out often. Well that would change now. In fact, he was determined that a lot of things were going to change from now on.
He ate too fast; all his family told him so, especially his mother who warned him every time they had a family meal that he would be prone to indigestion if he wasn’t careful. As a doctor, he was used to eating on the run and found it hard to break the habit, even when he had hours to enjoy a meal.
The other reason he finished his meal quickly was because he was desperate to ask Lexi more questions about Jade but didn’t want to do so until they had finished eating. When she was enjoying her coffee, he would question her.
He had hoped the martini and wine would relax her a bit, but she still seemed tense. He needed to earn her trust, especially as they would be spending a great deal of time together, the three of them. Provided he got his way, of course.
The coffees arrived, and the empty plates were cleared. He decided to be proactive and dive in straight away.
‘Can I ask about the birth? Was it natural?’
Lexi looked up and smiled. ‘Yes, but she was a week late.’
‘First babies often are. How much did she weigh?’
‘She weighed seven pounds four ounces. She was perfect.’ Lexi stared off into the middle distance and he felt his heart constrict. How he would have loved to have been there the moment his daughter made her appearance. Then something occurred to him.
‘Were you alone? I mean apart from the nursing staff, of course.’
‘Jess was my birth partner. She came to stay in London for a couple of weeks to help out. She was the one who suggested I come back with her to Leytonsfield. I couldn’t afford to stay in London so, when Jade was a month old, I moved up here.’
‘Do you like it here?’
‘Yes, Leytonsfield suits me. It’s a quieter pace of life. The people are nice, and the Cheshire countryside is pretty.’
He nodded. They sipped their coffees as Lexi gazed around the restaurant at the other diners.
‘And um… what kind of things does Jade like doing?’ He was racking his brains to come up with questions while Lexi seemed in a mellow mood, but the thought of everything he had missed out on was like someone raining blows down on his head. She was his child, he shouldn’t have to ask anything. He should know all about his little girl already. He hated the thought that he was a stranger to her and was desp
erate to remedy the situation.
‘She’s an ordinary three-year-old. Well, three and a half. She has lots of friends at nursery, is popular, polite, a bit cheeky. She plays with dolls but can be a tough little thing. She’s not a girly girl but she’s not a tomboy either. She’s just… well, Jade.’
He couldn’t help smiling at the picture Lexi was painting of his daughter.
‘I’ll be a good dad to Jade, I promise. I’ll look after her. I’ll look after both of you.’
There was a flare of anger in Lexi’s eyes, ‘I don’t need looking after, I’ve been looking after my daughter since she was born. I don’t need your help.’
She drank the rest of her coffee then pushed the mug away from her and folded her arms.
‘I’m not criticizing the way you’ve looked after her; you’ve done a great job, anyone can see that. But I’m here now, and I’m not going away. I fully intend to be a proper father to her. I want to be involved in every aspect of her life.’
Lexi was quiet, but he could see by the tension in her face that she wasn’t happy about something. Maybe he should back off, give her some more time to get used to the idea of him being part of Jade’s life. But so much time had gone by already. He wasn’t a patient man and didn’t know how much longer he could wait.
He remembered something she had said to him the night of the Summer Solstice Ball; “If something is worth having, it’s worth waiting for.”
They were silent until the coffees arrived. ‘I thought about you, you know, after that night,’ he said.
‘Did you? I bet you didn’t try to find me though, did you?’ Her eyes were huge, and she looked at him hopefully.
‘That’s where you’re wrong, I tried very hard. But like you, I didn’t have enough information to go on. If I’d known you were pregnant, I would never have given up. I’m sorry you had to go through it all on your own.’
They both fell silent again and Casey knew the evening had come to an end. He paid for the meal and drove her back to the cottage.
She looked beautiful, bathed in autumn moonlight, as she stood on the doorstep, with her front door key in her hand. He wanted to kiss her but wasn’t sure how that would be received, so he took her hands in his, ‘I’ve really enjoyed tonight, Lexi, thank you. Would you like to do it again sometime?’
She smiled and nodded so he kissed her knuckles gently. She didn’t pull back, so he leant forward and kissed her on the lips. She felt warm and soft and tasted of coffee.
‘Good night, Casey, and thanks for a lovely evening.’
He saw her into the house and heard her bolt the door on the inside, only then did he walk back down the path to his car.
Chapter Six
As soon as Lexi walked through the automatic doors into the A&E department, she noticed the smell. It was citrus; fresh and clean, instead of the usual antiseptic with undertones of blood that pervaded the whole department. Maybe the receptionists had brought in an air freshener.
The smell was everywhere; in Minors, in the waiting area and even in Resus. What was going on?
‘Isn’t it beautiful?’ said Theresa as they waited with the others who had just started their shift to hear the reports of the patients already in Resus. ‘It’s your Dr O’Connors idea. Essential oils diffused into the atmosphere will decrease stress and make everyone calmer, apparently.’
‘Uh, that’ll be the day,’ said one of the porters who had overheard their conversation.
‘Well, it’s worth a try. He’s left questionnaires for everyone. After a week, he wants us all to fill in the answers on how stressed we feel; before the oils and after.’
The porter walked off chuckling to himself and shaking his head.
‘I love this one, it’s called “Wild Orange.” How cool is that?’
‘Very cool,’ said Lexi.
‘So, are you two an item now? I know you’ve got history. Is history repeating itself?’
‘No, it is not. And we don’t have history, we only met the once.’
Theresa looked at her sharply. ‘If you say so.’
Luckily there was no time to say any more as the sister in charge of the nursing staff that day told her team where she wanted them to work.
Lexi was assigned to a young woman called Shelley who had been brought to A&E having been found on the street, unconscious. She’d taken a mixture of drugs and alcohol, but it wasn’t certain if her overdose had been accidental, as she had tried to take her own life before. She was unhappy about being in hospital and was threatening to discharge herself. She had been medically treated and was still vomiting, but they were waiting for the Mental Health Team to assess her and decide on further treatment.
Lexi’s heart sank. Her job was to try to persuade the patient to stay as she needed to be looked after. Shelley was a regular; another “revolving door” patient and was aggressive when she didn’t get her own way. She drank too much and swore like a trooper. All of which Lexi was used to from the patients, many of whom had issues that she couldn’t imagine having to deal with.
Lexi wasn’t good with that side of nursing. She liked the excitement and drama of trauma nursing but wasn’t especially happy with the mental health side. She had no confidence in her ability to talk to people and knew that nothing she could say to Shelley would make any difference if the woman had made her mind up to go.
Having spent most of the morning with her patient, getting nowhere, Lexi was relieved when Casey stuck his head around the side of the cubicle curtain.
‘Hi, how are you doing?’
‘Who’re you?’ Shelley asked.
‘Dr Casey O’Connor, I’m one of the consultants here.’
Shelley looked him up and down. ‘Casey; that’s a strange name for a man.’
‘It’s Irish and it means alert and watchful. You know Ben Affleck, the actor?’
Shelley nodded and looked slightly less suspicious.
‘He has a brother called Casey.’
‘And are you?’ Shelley asked.
‘Am I what, Shelley?’
‘Alert and watchful.’
Casey laughed, and Lexi felt the familiar tingles up and down her spine whenever she heard that sound. He was being his most charming and Lexi remembered how it felt to be on the receiving end of Casey’s charisma.
‘I do my best.’ His voice was deep and resonant, and Lexi shivered. Shelley was smiling now, and Lexi was relieved at the transformation. Casey had got through to her after five minutes whereas she had failed after trying for a couple of hours. She needed to leave them alone, so Casey could work his magic.
‘Shall I get you some tea?’ She spoke to Casey who answered for them both.
‘That would be lovely, wouldn’t it Shelley?’ He pulled up a chair to the side of Shelley’s bed. ‘Milk and two sugars, please.’
‘Right.’ She left the cubicle with a sigh and went to make them tea. She could have got it from the vending machine in a paper cup but decided that this occasion called for special treatment. Shelley needed to know she was cared for and a mug with properly made tea would give her that message. Sometimes it was the small things that mattered to a person, especially when they were feeling vulnerable.
She inhaled the aroma of orange and smiled. Casey was such an enigma. As trauma team leader he was assertive, unemotional and efficient. Yet he cared about the well-being of his staff and their patients, and was sitting talking to a frightened, introverted young girl as if he had all the time in the world.
She hoped that Jade would grow up to be as caring as her father.
The thought of Jade made her think about the difficult task ahead of her. She couldn’t put it off any longer. She needed to tell her daughter that Casey was her father. How would Jade react? Kids could be so unpredictable.
When she went back to the cubicle with the tea, Casey and Shelley were talking quietly together. Her patient looked more relaxed, and even thanked her. She slipped out of the cubicle and left them to it.
As she was nearing the end of her shift, Casey strolled towards her. He was straight and to the point.
‘Have you told Jade yet?’
‘I’m going to do it today. I’m off duty now, so I’ll pick the kids up as Jess will still be at work. I’ll tell her when we get home.’
‘Really?’ Casey beamed, and Lexi felt a stab of guilt that she had left it so long. It meant so much to him.
‘In fact, would you like to join us for tea tonight? We won’t have anything fancy, probably just fish fingers.’
‘I love fish fingers. Thanks, Lexi. What time?’
‘About six.’
‘Great. See you later.’ She watched him stroll off and could have sworn he had more of a bounce in his step.
*
Once Craig was ensconced in front of the TV with a bowl of grapes with banana and apple slices, watching his favourite children’s TV programme, Lexi took Jade into the kitchen and sat her down at the kitchen table. She put a bowl of fruit and a glass of milk in front of her. The doll that Casey had brought her was sitting on her knee and Jade pretended to feed her fruit before putting it in her own mouth.
‘I need to tell you something, sweetie.’ Jade watched her with eyes so much like her father’s that she sighed. ‘You remember I told you that your daddy had to go away for work?’
‘Yeah.’ Jade put a grape in her mouth and chewed.
‘Well, he’s come back now and wants to get to know you.’ She waited anxiously for Jade’s reaction.
‘Where is he?’
‘Remember when I went out to dinner with a man, a doctor?’
‘The man that gave me Bluebell?’ She picked her doll up and put her on the kitchen table.
‘Yes, his name is Casey O’Connor and he’s your daddy.’
‘Oh.’ Jade thought for a moment and then said. ‘Is he going to live with us?’
‘No, darling, he has his own home, but he is going to have tea with us tonight. Is that okay with you?’
