She nodded.
“Remington.” Coach Cunningham’s arms were crossed; his face was set in a stern grimace.
He skied over to the coach.
“Follow me,” Coach Cunningham said gruffly as he led the way toward a grouping of trees, then glanced back at Jayla before setting his sights on Rush. “You’re not a dumb kid, Rush. You know damn well why I put you with Jayla for the workshops.”
“Because of Marcus, I assumed. He’s out of the picture. She ended things with him.”
“Yes, because of Marcus. He messed with her head, which messed with her times, which you know is everything.” He ran his hand across his jaw and blew out a breath. “Rush, I won’t tell you what to do with your personal life, but Jayla’s a strong competitor, and she needs to pull it together. She can’t do that with you looking at her like she’s one of your fan girls.”
Fan girl? More like the love of my life. “Coach, you’re the one who put me with her.”
“Because I’ve seen the way you are with her. You’re protective, even when you say nothing at all. One look from you stifles the riffraff. Except it had the opposite effect on Marcus because of that asinine competition between you two. He only went after her to get your goat.”
“No offense, Coach, but I don’t think Marcus’s dating her had anything to do with me.”
He smirked and shook his head. “Then you’re blind as a bat.”
No way.
“Now, I respect the hell out of you as a competitor, Rush. And I expect you to respect her, given your long friendship. At least enough to give her a fighting chance to get back on her feet. You guys have the whole summer to figure out what to do with those looks you’re giving her, but she needs to get back on track or she’ll lose her edge, and I’m seeing her going easy on her right arm, which worries me.”
“Got it, Coach.”
If he had any doubts before, the coach just sealed their fate. Rush wanted no part of hindering Jayla’s career.
Chapter Thirteen
JAYLA STARTLED AWAKE at four thirty the next morning. She sat up in bed, trying to figure out what had woken her. Someone knocked at the cabin door, and she picked up her cell phone and clutched it to her chest. Marcus? Panic ran through her. She pulled on a T-shirt and sweatshirt with her flannel pants. As three more hard knocks rang out, she texted Rush. Someone’s banging on my door. Marcus? She stood frozen in the bedroom, hoping Rush was awake. Her phone vibrated a few seconds later. Morning, sunshine. Open the door.
She pulled the door open and Rush stepped in.
“Let’s go.” He ran his eyes down her body. “Boots. Now.”
“Now?” She shoved her foot into her boot as she rubbed her eyes. “What the hell is wrong with you? Do you even know what time it is?”
“I do. Take something for your shoulder and hurry up. The coach is worried.”
She sighed loudly as she stomped into the bedroom, took Motrin and Tylenol, then joined him in the living room.
“Rush, if you think this is the way to a girl’s heart, you’ve got your head on backward.”
He grinned. “Want to put on real pants instead of pajamas?”
“That depends. Where are we going?”
“To whip your ass into shape. Shit. I almost forgot. Stretch.”
“What?”
“Do your stretches. Here. Now.”
“I’m not even awake yet.”
Rush frowned at her. “Come on, whiner. I’ll do them with you.”
They sat on the floor and stretched their legs, then progressed up through their muscles. When they reached their arms, she felt him scrutinizing her movements, and she fought to keep from revealing the pain in her shoulder.
“Look at Sleeping Beauty doing her thing.” He pointed to the bedroom. “Why don’t you change out of your sexy pj’s and then we’ll go.”
She went into the bedroom, mumbling under her breath. Sexy pj’s. It’s four thirty in the morning.
Jayla yawned as they headed up to the equipment room in the dark. To their right, the slopes snaked up the mountains like fingers reaching for the clouds. The resort stood tall and imposing at the crest of the hill. White lights lined the peaks and valleys of the roof, like hundreds of stars shining down on them. The top layer of snow had frozen overnight and crunched beneath her boots.
“Why are you even up?” She curled her shoulders against the cold air, her hands buried deep inside her coat pockets.
“Because you and I both need to shave some time off of our speed, and God knows you’re not going to get your butt out of bed early without a friend to give you a little push.”
A friend. How many times had he pushed her to practice for extra hours at camp when she complained about someone beating her time? “How are we going to get up the slope? The lifts don’t open this early.”
They went into the equipment room, which was eerily silent, and collected their skis and poles.
“Don’t underestimate the power of Rush Remington.” He winked as they made their way to the ski lift.
“I’ve missed you these last few weeks, you know. Even the way you push me further than I might push myself.”
“Don’t kid yourself. You’d push yourself as hard as you needed to by this afternoon if I hadn’t shown up.”
He was right. It didn’t matter how much she liked him, or that for the first time in forever she felt whole despite her injury. She’d already decided that she’d come too far to let her focus falter for anyone. Including Rush.
“Then why did you wake me?” They climbed onto the chairlift and settled in as it rumbled to life.
“Because I’ve missed you, too, and it was a great excuse to watch the sunrise with my best friend.” He nodded at the sliver of pink bordering the crest of the mountain.
“That’s beautiful.”
“By the time we reach the top, it’ll be up a little higher. That’s worth getting up early for, don’t you think?”
Resting her head on his shoulder came naturally, and when his arm slipped around her, she soaked in the comfort of him. “I think it’s definitely worth getting up early for.”
He took out his phone and clicked a picture of the two of them, then turned the phone around and took a shot of the mountains before tucking it back into his pocket. He kissed the top of her head. “Hey, Jay?”
She heard the strain in his voice and readied herself for what she knew was coming. “Don’t say it, okay?”
He didn’t respond.
“I know we can’t happen, Rush. Just let me watch the sunrise with my friend without worrying about it.” She wondered if he heard the pitch of her voice change with the fib.
Two hours later, they were making their way over to the lodge for coffee and Jayla was trying to ignore the burn in her shoulder. “That was fun.” She inhaled deeply.
“You shaved three seconds off of yesterday’s time. Keep this up and you’re gonna nail the competition.”
“I appreciate you dragging me out, Rush.” She smiled at him, but it was wasted. His eyes had been trained on the lodge since they’d started walking back.
Rush stopped before they reached the lodge. “You know what? Go ahead in. I just remembered something that I need to take care of. I’ll see you at eight for the class, okay?”
She watched him walking back toward the cabins, and somewhere deep in her belly, she knew he was purposely putting distance between them. How could she blame him? It was what she said she wanted, even if it hurt like hell.
Three seconds. Focus on the gains.
Maybe I made a mistake.
RUSH CURSED UNDER his breath as he unlocked the door to the cabin and threw it open. He tossed the keys on the counter and stared at the empty room. He had no idea what he was doing, or how to read Jayla’s conflicting messages. He thought he could handle practicing together without being distracted by thoughts of how he wanted to be doing so much more, but as they walked toward the lodge, he’d been one second from draping his arm o
ver her shoulder. That would have been normal, easy, except that when he’d done that on the chairlift, it had brought his mind right back to their kiss. The truth was, he didn’t know how to be just friends with Jayla now that he’d opened his heart to her.
He paced the cabin floor. She’d been upset with him for risking their friendship, and maybe she was right. He ran his hand through his hair and stared out the window, trying to push away anger brewing in his gut. Anger at putting them in this position in the first place. Anger at her for not reciprocating—even though he knew that wasn’t fair at all. Hell, he was goddamn angry at the world, and he needed to get it out before it screwed up their friendship and this weekend’s race. He picked up his cell phone and called his brother Jack. Someone had to pay for this shit, and it all started with him.
“Hey, little brother,” Jack said all too happily for Rush’s mood.
He hated to crush Jack’s spirit, but he was unable to stop the shit storm of emotions from spewing forth. “You fucked me up, man, and I’m pissed.”
“Whoa, bro. I haven’t even seen you in weeks. What’s going on?”
Rush paced again. His mind told him to calm down, but he was unable to quiet the rage. “You told me I was a womanizer. You made me open my goddamn eyes when I was perfectly happy with them closed, and now…Now…”
“Now you’ve fallen for some chick and you’re pissed at me for whatever reason, right? Well, guess what? We both said shit we probably shouldn’t have, and I’m sorry, but I wasn’t exactly in my right mind when I lost Linda. Remember that, little brother? So before you rip me a new asshole, think. I had just lost my wife.”
Jack was a model of controlled anger, speaking in a serious, authoritative tone. A tone Rush had heard a million times when he was growing up and Jack had made it his business to set him straight. Even during the years when Jack was away at college, if he’d heard that Rush had done anything remotely out of line, he’d call him up and speak in that same tone, and it made Rush swallow his words and think. It still had the same effect.
He sank to the couch, elbows on his knees. “Goddamn it.”
Jack didn’t say a word. He was good at waiting out Rush’s internal battles.
Rush pushed to his feet again. “Damn it, Jack. I changed my whole life because…of what you said.” And because of Jayla. “And now I wish I hadn’t.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Feeling shit for a woman sucks.”
“Now you’re just talking crazy. Are you drunk?”
“No. I’m not drunk, you ass.” He needed air. He flung open the front door and stood on the front porch. He caught sight of Kia and Teri walking out of Kia’s cabin, and he went back inside and closed the door.
“You want to tell me what this is really about, or do you just want to vent? I’m cool with either. I just need to know if I should brew another pot of coffee.”
“Goddamn it, Jack.”
“You said that already.”
He flopped on the couch again. “Right.” He pressed his palm to the tightening muscles in his chest. “Jesus, Jack.”
“Some people call me Jesus, but you can just call me Jack.”
Rush laughed despite his anger. “Okay, here’s your chance to use your big brother skills and talk me off the ledge.”
“Where are you?”
“Colorado. Teaching a ski workshop for Danica Carter’s company.”
“Now I get it. I thought your season was over.”
“One last competition. Now you get what?”
“This isn’t about some random woman, is it?”
“No. It’s about Jayla. Jack, listen. I fought what you said I was for a long time, and then one day I woke up next to this woman and couldn’t even remember her name. And I might be thickheaded, but it finally set in. I realized you were totally right, and then…I realized all those women were space fillers. It was Jayla I wanted all that time.” His gut twisted, and before Jack could say anything, he continued. “Anyway, I’ve spent months cleaning up my act. Christ, the thought of all that time I spent sleeping around makes me sick.”
“And Jayla?”
He blew out a loud breath. “She’s everything. I think I love her. I do love her.”
“You’re just realizing this after fifteen years? No wonder you’re messed up.” Jack laughed. “Hey, remember when Mom made me have a talk with you about respecting women?”
“Mom? I remember the snore of a talk, but she put you up to that?”
“Yeah. She called me at some point, worried about how often you and Jayla talked. You were getting ready to go to camp. She thought you and Jayla were headed for the bedroom. It was way past the point of you needing to hear it, but she said Dad wasn’t the right person to do it.”
Rush laughed. “Well, she was right about Dad but not Jayla. We were never like that. We’ve always just been friends. You know, as we got older, I was hooking up with every woman under the sun, and she was in the friend zone.”
“And now?”
Rush rolled his shoulders, stretching out his muscles. “Right now…Now I can’t look at her without wanting more.”
“Okay, so? What’s the issue? Why are you so pissed at me?”
“Maybe if you’d never said that shit to me in the first place, I wouldn’t have changed, and then I wouldn’t feel all these crazy emotions every time I see her. It’s like I just want to protect her, and touch her, and—”
“Whoa, okay. You could have led with that and saved us an assload of time.”
“No, I couldn’t have, because you needed to know that I’m not the dick you think I am.” Rush let out a breath.
“Man, I have no idea how your mind works. Look, none of us judge you by what you do with women. But let’s cut to the chase.”
Rush sighed. “I finally realized what she means to me, and she’s worried that being together will screw with our focus. She might be right. I don’t know that I can be in a real relationship and compete. It might screw with my mind and I can’t chance that. She can’t chance that.”
“Then you need to fix that. Does she think you’re still screwing every woman in your path?”
“No, I don’t think so, but…I think she’s still trying to see it with her own eyes. She’s about the only one who can see right through me.”
“Then what’s the issue? Can’t you compartmentalize? Put away thoughts of her while you compete, or train, or whatever. Tons of athletes have relationships.”
“I don’t know. What if I can’t? What if she can’t?”
“Can’t? You wiped that word from your vocabulary years ago, Rush.”
Jack had him there. “I’m not sure we can ever go back to just being friends. I think about her day and night. I want to be with her every second. Jack, I can’t lose Jayla altogether.”
“Then fix it. There’s nothing you can’t do, Rush. You’re one of the most focused people I know. She’s probably scared, and you sound scared, too.”
“Of losing her, maybe.”
“Makes sense,” Jack said. “If you need to separate your relationship from your training, then do it. Look, you’re the king of concentrating on what matters. This is no different from training. When you train, you push the rest of the world away. Just make sure that if you decide to really have a relationship with Jayla, you put her away with the rest of the world when you train. It might take some getting used to, but you can do it. There’s nothing you can’t do.” Before Rush could respond, Jack continued. “Talk to her, Rush. Ask her what she needs and what she really wants. I’d imagine she’s just as scared as you, but if she doesn’t want this, then you can’t force it.”
“I never would.”
“I always thought she liked you. Look, this is simple even if it feels like the hardest thing you’ve ever done. And I’m sure it does, because when I fell in love with Savannah, I had all sorts of scary shit going on in my head. You know how to overcome obstacles. Face it head-on like you do every
thing else in life. And all that bullshit about not being able to focus? I got news for you. That’s all smoke and mirrors, buddy. You’ve built a wall around yourself for whatever reason, and it’s made of bullshit excuses. Tear it down.”
“Just what I needed, a therapy session. I could have gone to Danica for that.”
“Hey, you called me.”
Rush glanced at the clock. “Oh shit. I’m late. I gotta run. Sorry to dump on you like this.” Rush headed out the door and jogged up the hill while he spoke to Jack.
“That’s what family’s for. Call and bitch me out anytime.”
“Thanks, bro. Love you.” He raced up the hill to join the workshop, which was already in progress, and as Jayla came into view, he knew Jack was right.
Head-on was the only way.
Chapter Fourteen
“JAYLA, CAN WE just go up already?” Taylor Harper was fifteen. He wore no hat, a black hoodie beneath a ski vest, and a pair of stonewashed jeans. He was the focus of every teenage girl within viewing distance, and despite the heated gazes cast upon him, he’d be damn cold when he got to the top of the mountain. But Jayla’s job was to help him learn to ski, not parent him.
Jayla glanced at Jeffrey in his nondescript black parka, standing beside two of the other teenage students, Chris and Meg. Jeffrey fidgeted with his gloves, his eyes bouncing between Meg, a cute, dark-haired girl, and Taylor. Meg’s eyes were locked on Taylor, and Taylor beamed at Jeffrey with in-your-face pride. Ugh! Teenage love triangles weren’t fun when Jayla was a teenager. She wasn’t looking forward to dealing with them on the slopes.
She caught sight of Rush heading toward them and stifled the urge to give him hell for leaving her hanging. He’d given her such conflicting signals all morning, and she couldn’t decide if she was to blame for them. Was he just respecting what she’d asked for, or was it something more? He acted like her best friend, but he looked at her with eyes that said so much more. Maybe she was losing her mind.
Focus on the class.
“Sure. Taylor, you and Chris take the lift up together. Jeffrey and Billy. Suzie, you’re with Meg. Remember, no messing around on the chairlift.” She stepped into line behind the kids and watched Rush put on his skis. A pretty woman about Jayla’s age got in line behind her, and when Rush joined them, he was paired with the woman for the ride up the mountain.
Slope of Love (Love in Bloom: The Remingtons) Page 10
