She nodded. She understood what he was trying to say. Not everything that happened was about her or whoever was targeting her.
She looked toward Seb and Timmy.
Steven followed her gaze. “Don’t break his heart again, Tace. You really messed him up when you asked for the divorce.”
What? She narrowed her eyes and shook her head. Steven had it wrong. She wasn’t the one who had filed for divorce—it was Seb who had sent her the paperwork. Seb who hadn’t been willing to give their marriage a chance.
Why would Seb have told his brother such a blatant lie?
FOURTEEN
You really messed him up when you asked for the divorce. Steven’s words played across her mind the rest of the day and into the night. But as morning dawned, she vowed to let go of them. If Seb had misrepresented the facts to his family, it was up to him to set the record straight. Besides, it was the start of a new day. Timmy was still sleeping, and she was looking forward to enjoying a moment of peace.
She carried her coffee out to the porch and settled back on the wicker rocking chair to watch the sunrise over the pasture.
How amazing that God had blessed the world with this beautiful creation.
She sat for a while, thinking and rocking. Hard to believe, but it was almost a week ago that she had arrived in Chimney Bluff to deliver her dad’s letter. And yet she had failed to complete that simple task.
Nothing had turned out the way she expected. A worried frown bent the corner of her lips. From the moment he had ridden to her rescue with the bison, Seb had continually risked his life to protect her. He was brave and selfless. And he was proving to be a great father to Timmy. Seeing them together caused an extra little flutter in her heart.
Was that why she was so hurt to hear that Seb might take a job in Washington, DC? She had allowed herself to imagine that he would stay in Chimney Bluff or, in her wildest dreams, move to Denver to be near his son. But it was his life and his decision. He didn’t need to run his plans by her. She didn’t get a vote in what he did with his life. And she didn’t want one...did she?
When had everything become so complicated? The danger and the emotional upheaval of the past week had sent her emotions cartwheeling and caused her to question many of the decisions she had made in the past. She found herself wondering what would have happened if she and Seb had found a way to talk things through after the accident. Would they have worked out their differences and stayed together to become a family?
A flush of heat warmed her cheeks. It didn’t matter. Seb had been as ready to move on then as he was today. She needed to focus on getting back to Denver.
A rumble of distant thunder interrupted her musings. Her eyes scanned the clouds in the eastern sky. Were storms in the forecast for the day ahead? Everyone said that they needed the rain, but not on the day of the church picnic. With the number of outdoor activities planned, it might well be postponed if the weather didn’t cooperate. Which, come to think of it, might not be such a bad thing since Seb had failed in his efforts to convince Timmy that it would be a lot more fun to skip the picnic and stay home and play games. But in the end, they had both made the call that they would go.
She settled back in the rocker and closed her eyes. But her moment of solitude came to an end as the screen door creaked open on its hinges. Her heart swelled at the sight of her little boy, the bottoms of Star Wars pajamas hitched up high above his waist. Standing next to Timmy, Seb managed to radiate security and contentment with his quiet confidence, manly scuff and rumpled dark hair.
“Mornin’,” he said, his voice gravelly with sleep.
Boom. Was that her heart drumming in her chest? Maybe this indifference deal was going to be harder than she thought.
Father and son announced they were both hungry for breakfast. As if on cue, Sandy appeared, carrying a basket of muffins, with Scott and Steven following close behind.
Everyone settled down to discuss the weather and the likelihood that the picnic would still take place. Sandy put an end to the debate by calling the woman in charge, who had decided against postponement. After services, volunteers would set up the tables and chairs in the field behind the church. If the showers materialized as expected, the gathering would be moved inside to the hall.
Timmy wasn’t pleased by the notion of a plan B. “Seb says that if it rains, we’ll have to play bingo in the hall.”
“You don’t like bingo?” She hoisted a dented tin ice chest into the bed of Seb’s truck. “Don’t worry, Timmy. The showers are supposed to hold off until the evening, at least according to the app on my phone.”
“Seb says we need the percipa...percipa-tation.”
“Seb is right. He usually is about the weather.”
“What’s that?” Seb ambled over to where they were standing, his mouth tugged into a wide grin. “Who’s trying to tease me about my interest in the weather?”
Timmy curled his fingers into a fist and rapped them twice against the truck. “Hey, Seb. Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Bee Eye.”
Seb raised a brow. “Bee Eye, who?”
“Bee Eye, N-G-O, and Bingo was his name, oh.” Timmy collapsed in hysterics.
“Good one, Timmy,” Seb said. “Hey, what do you say you go inside and see if there’s any more stuff to load up for the picnic?”
“Sure thing,” Timmy said. “I’ll ask Scott and Sandy.”
Scott and Sandy? It was still early days, but at some point, Timmy needed to start calling Seb Dad and referring to Seb’s parents as Grandma and Grandpa.
“Can I talk to you a minute, Tace?” Seb said.
“Sure.” She pulled herself up on the truck’s open gate and waited for Seb to continue.
He cleared his throat. “Yesterday, when Steven mentioned the job offer in DC, I saw the look on your face. I’m sorry you had to hear about it that way. I wanted to say more then, but it didn’t seem like the right time or place.”
She nodded. She could do this. She could act like she didn’t care. “We’ll find a way to make it work, no matter what you decide.”
“But it’s something we should discuss if we’re going to share custody of Timmy.”
Share custody?
He looked at her expectantly. “I realize that there are still loose ends that need to be tied up. But no matter what happens, we both want what’s best for Timmy.”
Wait. Seb seemed to be getting ahead of himself here. She was willing to discuss a visitation schedule. But shared custody? She wanted to argue against it—loudly and right away—but there was no point in overreacting. She needed to calmly and rationally convince Seb that it would be a mistake to shuffle Timmy between two households. No. It would be more than a mistake. It would be a disaster.
“And, Tace, remember. Timmy’s my top priority here. I’m making up for lost time of not knowing I had a son.”
She sighed. What Seb said was true. But she wasn’t the only one who had made mistakes. No matter what he told his family, he was the one who had given up on their marriage and filed for divorce. But she didn’t want to resort to pointing fingers and laying blame. Not today. Maybe not ever. “Why uproot Timmy from everyone and everything he loves? Kids need stability, Seb. Not two different schools with two different teachers and two different sets of classmates.”
Seb’s eyes reflected a hardened glint. “Fine. I’ll be the one who provides the stability. I missed out on nine years, Tacy. That’s a hundred and eight months. So, does that mean I get the next hundred and eight months of sole custody?”
She took a deep breath as she struggled to maintain her civility. Just like that, all her good will evaporated at the memory of the hurt and sadness of the past ten years.
Her dad had known this would happen. He had predicted it would be a huge mistake to tell Seb that he had a son. And now, look how q
uickly it had all gone off the rails. One minute, she and Seb were bonding as friends, and the next, he was conniving to get the upper hand in a custody agreement.
“You left me, Seb. I was the one in the hospital. I kept asking everyone where you were, but no one would answer. Imagine how it felt to discover that you had gone back to Texas without even saying goodbye. I realize that you didn’t know about Timmy. But when you got on that plane, you turned your back on every part of our old life together.”
“That’s ridiculous, Tacy, and you know it. I didn’t have any choice. My leave had run out, and if I’d stayed longer, I’d have been considered AWOL. And let’s be fair here. I came back as soon as I could. But by that time, you were gone. I tried to reach out to you. But you wouldn’t even take the time to tell me that you were okay.”
“And that was enough for you to throw in the towel and file for divorce?”
“You sent me the paperwork, which—incidentally—arrived the day I returned after three weeks of hard duty in the field.”
She shook her head. “No. That’s wrong. I remember it clearly because I was back in the hospital in Denver, being treated for an infection in my leg, when my dad brought the documents for me to sign as you requested.”
A muscle tightened in Seb’s jaw. “That is not how it happened. But it’s exactly what I would have expected of your dad. But not of you. You should have known better. You should have trusted that I would never hurt you like that.”
Could what Seb was saying be true? Was he really not the one who had initiated the paperwork for the divorce? But then, how...why? She closed her eyes and shook her head. Even if he was being honest, that didn’t let him off the hook for not being there when she needed him. That second time she had been in the hospital had been a dark time for her. She had barely the energy to make it through each day. When her dad handed her the paperwork, she had scrawled her name on the dotted line and then retreated back into a tight cocoon of loneliness and pain. Maybe she should have made a greater effort to read the documents before she signed, but she was in a pretty compromised state as it was, pregnant, drifting in and out of consciousness as the doctors pumped meds into her system, trying to keep her alive.
And did it even matter who had wanted the divorce? Even if her dad had overstepped his parental role, that didn’t negate the fact that Seb had abandoned her of his own free will. Seb. Her best friend. The one person in the whole world who knew the deep ache and guilt she felt when her mom walked out of her life. She could still remember the heavy loneliness that had been her constant companion during her weeks in the hospital. But then it felt like God had understood her distress because she wasn’t alone. There was someone with her, her tiny baby who was growing and kicking and relying on her to stay strong and get well. That was the moment she had decided to start living again. And Seb wanted to erase all that and place the blame on her? Nuh-uh.
“I almost died, Seb. I was sleeping twenty hours a day. The only thing I cared about was praying that our baby would be okay. You’re right about one thing, though. When I was finally well enough to leave the hospital, I didn’t question the fact that you had given up on our marriage. You made your feelings apparent the day of the accident. You didn’t do a single thing that a husband ought to do when his wife is hovering between life and death. You didn’t alter your plans in one single way.”
Seb ran his hand through his hair. “I stayed with you until you were out of surgery. And as I told you before, I did try to extend my leave. But my CO turned me down. I talked to your dad about it, and he told me that I needed to return to base. He said he’d explain everything to you when you got out of the recovery room. I guess he kind of forgot about that.”
Tacy slid down from the truck’s gate and stood in front of him.
“He didn’t forget. He told me your leave had run out and that you’d gone back to Texas. And then he promised that he’d do everything in his power to make sure me and the baby would be okay.” She blinked back tears. She didn’t quite understand why her father had behaved as he did. But she knew that he had been desperate to get her to a place best equipped to facilitate her recovery. The rehab clinic in Colorado was one of the most prestigious in the nation. And once they arrived, he had arranged for her to see a team of specialists and found a place for them to live. Drove her to the obstetrician. Bought diapers and a crib. Worked two jobs to support them and stayed with her through her long labor giving birth to Timmy.
But why had he led her to believe that Seb had been the one who wanted the divorce?
* * *
Seb bent his right leg against the side of his truck. Ten more minutes. That was how long his mom claimed she needed before she’d be ready to go. He wasn’t sure if the same was true for Tacy. After their argument, she’d disappeared into the bunkhouse to look for a water bottle for Timmy. He didn’t mind waiting. He welcomed the chance to think.
Why had he felt the need to reopen the subject of his possible move to Washington, DC? He knew why. Because he wanted Tacy to tell him that she didn’t want him to go. That they might have a future together in Chimney Bluff as a family. But she’d never say that. She didn’t want to move to North Dakota. And even if she did, she’d never forgive him for a decision he had made ten years in the past.
Of course, she still didn’t know the whole story of what had happened after the accident. Yes, he had gone back to Texas, but Tacy remained in the dark about his confrontation with Keith at the hospital. Her father had heaped guilt and shame onto his shoulders with biting words that were permanently seared onto his brain. Selfish. Single-minded. Thoughtless. The last accusation had been more on point than the older man realized. Keith didn’t know that Seb had stood by without protest when Tacy insisted on making the difficult climb.
Seb carried so much pain in his heart for what had happened that day on the cliffs. But it still burned to hear Tacy blame him for everything and ignore the role her father had played. Through either stubbornness or pride, she had allowed herself to be manipulated by her father and to shut everyone else out.
He had always imagined that talking things out would give him closure. But the more time he and Tacy spent discussing the past, the more confused he became. Was Tacy as indifferent as she appeared to be? It was true that he had given up after his letters had gone unanswered and his calls were not returned. But communication was a two-way street, and Tacy had never bothered to reach out to him in any way. Maybe he had done the bare minimum to save his marriage, but Tacy had done nothing at all.
Still, it had been a shock to hear how ill she had been in the months following the accident—how discarded she’d felt by him. The thought of Tacy lying in the hospital, not knowing where he was or why he left, physically hurt in his chest. He had only ever wanted to protect her. And yet she believed that he had abandoned her at the first sign of trouble. A new sense of guilt began to surge in his body, but he tamped it down. Neither he nor Tacy was entirely blameless in the events following the accident. But as he saw it, the heaviest of the fault fell squarely on one person. Keith Tolbert.
And as much as Seb hated to admit it, maybe running away to get married had been their biggest mistake. As Keith pointed out in scathing detail, if Tacy had wanted to get hitched and move to Texas, why had she applied for so many scholarships at colleges she never planned to attend? It was a good question. Some part of her must have wanted the chance to achieve the goals she had worked so hard for all of her life. And look what happened once she was free. College graduation. Law school. Success at every turn.
He took a steadying breath and twisted his head to release some of the tension knotting his neck. He wasn’t going to waste any more time trying to understand Tacy’s mindset. It was bad enough that Keith had deceived Tacy about the divorce, but there was no justification for his actions in keeping him from his son.
Still, there was one positive result from the whole sad series of mi
stakes, and that was Timmy. He and Tacy needed to get along, if only for the sake of their son.
Seb leaned against his truck and pushed his Stetson back on his head.
He was checking the weather app on his phone when his dad appeared, hauling yet another cooler toward the back of the truck. Seb hurried to help him. Five minutes later, everything was loaded, and they were ready to go. Especially Timmy, who maintained a steady stream of chatter during the drive to the church.
In the field behind the sanctuary, setup was underway. Red-and-white-checkered tablecloths flapped in the wind as a group of teens in light blue T-shirts rushed to weigh them down with rocks gathered from shore of the lake.
By two o’clock, the grills were smoking and the tables were covered with sides and desserts. An unexpected break in the clouds revealed a streak of blue and a fringe of sunshine against the gray. Seb walked over to join Tacy in cheering on Timmy in the relay race.
The strain of their previous conversation lingered in Tacy’s eyes. “Awesome, considering it’s his first time.”
“Great. Listen. Are you still planning to enter the kayak race after lunch? Because, considering everything that’s happened, you should...”
She fixed him with a resolute stare. “I’m in the orange kayak, number five. I think it belongs to one of the organizers of the picnic. I’ll be fine. It’s not a big deal. I’ve kayaked most of the lakes in Denver.”
He was about to point out that his issue wasn’t with her skills when the clang of the dinner bell put an end to the debate. Timmy’s eyes lit up as they took their place in the food line. The tables were laden with platters of watermelon, potato salad, hot dogs and hamburgers. And every kind of cake and pie under the sun. After everyone was finished eating, an announcement was made that the kayak race would start in five minutes. Tacy pushed herself up from the table.
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