David didn’t say anything so Gracie kept talking.
“The entire time it was happening, I was sitting there going ‘this can’t be real; this kind of stuff doesn’t happen to me.’ I wish I could just come home,” Gracie said softly. “I hate it at State. I never realized how good I had it here until I ruined everything. I never realized how much I needed Cal until I lost him.”
“You know what the main difference between me and Cal is?” David asked. She suddenly wondered if he had the ability to read her mind, or if he was just thinking along the same lines as she did.
“I could name a few,” Gracie offered, unsure where he was going with this line of conversation.
“Cal cares about what everyone thinks of him,” David told her. “He’s always worried whether or not everyone else is happy.”
“Whereas you just don’t care.”
“Precisely. People expect the worst possible behavior from me anyway,” he smirked. “No one is surprised when I get into a fight or break the rules. There are only a handful of people in this county who expect me not to act like a total asshole all the time.”
“Me, Addison and Cal?”
“You got it. Well, y’all and Miss Loretta.” David smiled slightly when he mentioned Cal’s mother.
“Cal is furious with us. You realize that, don’t you?”
“Oh, I know he’s mad. He’d have rather shot me this morning than looked at me.”
“He still came over to help though,” Gracie closed her eyes and tried not to think about the look on Cal’s face when he’d left David’s house. “He’s such a good guy.”
“No, he’s not,” David frowned at her. “He’s pretending to be a good guy all the while getting more and more pissed off at life. Cal doesn’t know how to make his own choices, so he does whatever he thinks everyone else wants him to do and then won’t admit he’s miserable when things don’t work out the way that he thinks they should have. He worries so much about pleasing Joshua Walker and living up to everyone’s expectations that he forgets to pay attention to what he wants for himself.”
“What do you mean?”
“Cal and I were talking today while we were out at the lease. Do you remember back in kindergarten, when the teacher would ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up, and everyone in the class had good answers?”
Gracie nodded as she let the waiter take her salad plate and replace it with a bowl of seafood alfredo. She had no idea where David was going with this. He leaned closer to her as Olivia Barker came waddling back past their table, shooting them a nasty glare down her snubbed-up nose. The large woman was intentionally walking as close to them as she could. Gracie knew from past experience that any words Olivia overheard would be misconstrued and shared publicly with whatever poor soul she cornered and forced to hear her out.
Gracie figured she was going to have to come up with something to tell her Mom before her Mom made it to church and heard about how her daughter was making out with David in the middle of a public restaurant. David waited to resume speaking until Olivia was back out of eavesdropping range.
“It always amazed me that every single kid in that class knew what they wanted from life by age five. They just knew they could grow up to be an astronaut, a doctor, fireman, police man, pilot, pirate ship captain or whatever. Everyone had potential, and it seemed, back then, that everyone would make those goals. Everyone would grow up to have a good future, a good job, family, nice house. No one ever said they were going to grow up to be an anorexic, clinically depressed junkie with five kids on welfare. No one ever said they were going to grow up to spend their adult lives rotting in a jail cell,” David prodded at his lasagna with a fork. “When the teacher used to ask Cal what he wanted in life he’d tell them the same thing every time. He’d say that his Pappy said he was going to grow up and run Walker Hardware just like his Pappy and his Daddy had.”
“That doesn’t surprise me a bit,” Gracie admitted with a sigh. “I don’t think Cal has ever taken the time to make a decision without someone else telling him what he wanted. Everyone expects certain things from Cal, and then he expects me to just fall into place with the rest of his pre-planned life.”
“There are worse things that could happen to you than getting trapped in Cal’s perfect little world.” He took a deep breath. “Do you remember my half-sister, Heather?”
“Vaguely,” Gracie plucked a shrimp out of her pasta and nibbled on the end of it. “She was a little bit older than you, wasn’t she?”
“By one year, six months and three days. My mother ran off and hers was an alcoholic. None of that mattered when we were kids. We used to sneak out the windows of Dad’s trailer to go swim in the creek even though we weren’t supposed to because there were gators in it. We’d pretend we were adults, you know. I was gonna win the Indianapolis 500 and Talladega and she said she was gonna be a veterinarian. We’d go back into the swamp and climb trees, build forts by the water and act like we had these great jobs and were all grown up with all this money and talked about our world travels,” he laughed, but it was a sad laugh. “Now she’s 25 and washed up. She has two kids and doesn’t even know who the younger one’s daddy is. It seems like such a waste.” He studied his food with significantly more intensity than it deserved. “Everyone makes choices. Some of those choices are good; sometimes they suck. The thing is, you have to remember that not all the options in the future are going to be perfect. You have to be willing to admit you made a mistake before you build on it.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes, chewing up the food and mechanically swallowing.
It was Gracie who finally broke the silence. “I’m not asking for a perfect life. I’m just asking for a little bit of room to make my own choices. I’ve never known what I wanted. When everyone else had all those plans, I was standing back in the shadows wondering how everyone else could be so sure of themselves when I was so lost.” She pushed more of her food around on her plate. “You know that’s why Cal and I broke up, don’t you?”
David raised his eyebrows in surprise. “I don’t know anything about why you and Cal broke up,” he said. “Neither of you wanted to talk about it, and I don’t ask nosy, pointless questions no one wants to answer.”
Gracie didn’t want to talk about it. She hadn’t talked about the fight she’d had with Cal to anyone. Not her Granny Pearl or Addison or anyone. Now David was watching her with a strange expression on his face, and she realized she had absolutely nothing to hide from him anymore. He couldn’t possibly think any worse of her. David was the last person on earth she would have chosen to reveal all of her secrets to, but somehow she didn’t have any secrets left. She was just surprised to realize he cared enough to know her this well. “I guess I owe you some kind of explanation, don’t I?”
“You don’t owe me anything, Gracie. I’m not that kind of guy.” He was telling the truth. And because he never asked anything of her, she decided to tell him the truth.
“I’ve never been completely sure about what I wanted. He knew that but he kept pressing me on what I was going to do after graduation. The night we broke up, we’d been drinking at the fish camp pretty much all day and Cal was completely lit by the time we got to that party. All of a sudden he decides it’s a good idea to get down on one knee in the bed of his truck and propose. He’s sitting there telling me about how we can get married in the summer and how he’ll build us a perfect house and we can get married and stay in Shiner’s Bayou forever, and all I could think the entire time he was talking was that I loved him, but if I did what he wanted me to, my life would be over at age 18.”
“Over?”
“No more surprises. No more risks or chances. Just me and Cal and Shiner’s Bayou forever. He’d keep working at Walker Hardware full time, and it wouldn’t matter what I did after high school because I’d never work. I’d stay at home and have babies and we’d have a pretty house and a white picket fence and someday we’d celebrate out 50th wedding anniversary
with our grandkids. It was all laid out right there in front of me, and it terrified me. I want Cal, but I don’t want that cut and dried life. I still want to be able to dream and plan and hope. It’s so hard to explain. I love Cal’s parents but I don’t want to be them.”
“Believe it or not, Cal doesn’t want to be them either. He’s just too stubborn to admit it.”
“He’s never going to admit it. He wouldn’t even listen to me when I tried to explain how I felt to him the way I just explained it to you.” Gracie found herself fighting back tears for what felt like the thousandth time in the last 24 hours. “He just shut down on me. He said that either I wanted him or I didn’t.”
“So you told him you didn’t?” His tone was matter of fact.
“More or less. How did you know that?”
“I lied when I said Cal had never told me anything about the break up. He said one thing. He said you said you didn’t want him.”
“He shouldn’t have made it an ultimatum.” She felt the familiar anger bubbling in her chest. “Even now, when I’d do anything to have him back, it still pisses me off that he won’t give. He’ll never give. Arguing with Cal is like playing tug of war with a brick wall.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” David said after several minutes of silence. He gestured at his broken nose and swollen eyes. “Cal can break the mold when he wants to.”
“I don’t know if he wants to,” she pointed out.
“I think he’ll come around,” David reached across the table and took her hand. She squeezed his fingers. “Your life isn’t ruined. It’s just a bit derailed at the moment.”
“I wish I could believe you. Every time I close my eyes or am alone for minute, all I can think about are the things I could have done differently.”
“Have I ever lied to you?” he asked. She shook her head no.
“I’m doing my best to make sure everything works out,” he told her as he released her hand. “Tell you what, we get through the next couple weeks and we’re in the clear, and I’ll deal with Cal for you.”
“You can’t begin to imagine how grateful I am to you right now,” Gracie said knowing she would never be able to explain to him. “If everything works out it will be almost entirely because of you. You are my hero.”
“What are you going to do?” She didn’t dare feel hopeful. Too much had already gone wrong.
“I don’t know yet, but I’m sure I can figure out some way to make that stubborn bastard listen,” David said with a wink. “I’ll duct tape his ass to an anthill and force him to hear to the truth if I have to.”
She laughed faintly. “I can’t believe everything you’ve done to protect me. I don’t know how I’m ever going to repay you.”
“You want to make all this worth it?” he asked. “Then promise me you won’t let what happened this weekend ruin your life. Do everything you can to put it behind you. Make up with Cal and marry him, if that’s really what you want. Have lots of pretty babies and a nice house and just live your life the way you want to live it.”
“You really are my hero, you know that?”
“Don’t say that. You’ll ruin my good reputation. I make a much more effective evil villain.”
“Only in Twitchy Eddie’s world.”
David snorted back a laugh. “Speaking of me and my evil-doings, we need to get going. I still have some things I need to get taken care of in order to make sure your happily ever after has an ever after.” He looked at her almost empty plate. “You about ready?”
She nodded and pushed her plate aside as he signaled the waitress for their check.
*
The moonshine still had been hidden in the depths of the bayou since Prohibition. The water around the still was rippled with barely visible cypress knees and infested with alligators. David suspected the original owners of the still had chosen the tiny crop of land deep in the swamp because even the most dedicated lawman would have to think twice about risking life and limb for even the best quality batch of white lighting.
David had chosen the location for the same reason the moonshiners had. Even the most dedicated lawman would be hesitant to come looking for evidence in the bellies of alligators, deep in the swamp.
The murky creek water was blacker than the night surrounding David as he carefully guided his small boat down a narrow slew without the benefit of lights. The chirps and croaks of the swamp at night filled the air. On any other night, he would have reveled in his ability to blend flawlessly into the predatory darkness. Any other time, he would have been pleased with himself.
Tonight, he just wanted to dump his cargo into the depths of the alligator infested bayou and go home. He kicked aside the package of thick hooks and nylon rope that he’d loaded into the boat. He didn’t need the gear, but he’d rather have it on hand just in case someone wanted to know what he was doing. If anyone caught him, he’d tell them he was poaching a few alligators out of season. It wasn’t like he’d get in trouble for poaching. There were benefits to being best friends with the game warden.
The deep, croaking mating call of a bull gator sounded from somewhere close to the trees. David reached down to the floor of the boat and picked up a raw, bloody chunk of meat with his bare hand. He tossed the meat in the gator’s direction. It landed in the water with a splash that David suspected only sounded loud to him. He reached down and took another handful of meat, this time choosing to toss it to the right of the boat. He wished he could use his spotlight to find the gators, but he couldn’t risk being seen tonight. He was going to have to rely on his memory and his instinct to find the right hiding places tonight.
The slew he traveled through had plenty of gators in its own right, but it was the shiner’s still that was David’s final destination. He dropped bits and pieces of blood and bone into the water as he slowly eased his boat through the darkness. A bread crumb trail for the alligators he knew would follow after the scent of wounded prey. The raw meat would create a feeding frenzy amongst the hungry alligators. David hoped to be gone by the time the reptiles ran out of dead meat and began to tear living chunks off of one another.
A loud splash echoed off the bank of the creek, less than 10 feet away from where he was sitting in his boat. He hesitated for only a moment before he flung a large chunk of meaty flesh into the wake. The metal of the still glinted brightly in the moonlight as the cloud cover shifted. He caught sight of a long, dark silhouette in the water. It was heading his way.
David took a deep breath and stood up in the boat, careful to keep his weight evenly distributed so that the little boat did not tip. He used both his hands to grasp one of the large white buckets he had been transporting. With a well-aimed thrust, he launched the contents of the bucket out into the depths of the water. The approaching alligator stopped abruptly as meat rained down across the creature’s back. David nearly laughed as he picked up the second bucket and prepared to let the gators devour every bite of the evidence of a crime he hadn’t committed.
*
“You really think this is going to work?” Alex leaned against the door-frame of Addison’s truck. He was staring at the Coastal County Sheriff’s Department building as if the brick held all the secrets of the universe.
“Define ‘work’,” Addy said as he watched Eddie Von Hussant walk across the employee parking lot and get into CCSD cruiser number four.
“Make him, you know, quit.” Alex sounded nervous and Addy wasn’t surprised. Alex didn’t exactly have the nerve or the smarts to back up the kind of stunts Addison liked to pull. He would have rather had David or Cal on his side tonight, but he needed another officer to back him up, making Alex his only choice.
“No, I don’t. But if everything goes right tonight, we’ll catch the poachers and make Eddie look like the complete and utter moron he is.” Addison smiled reassuringly at Alex. “We can do no wrong.”
“It feels wrong. Setting Eddie up just feels wrong,” Alex was playing with his CCSD badge again. He’d managed to bu
ff most of the rust off it in in a matter of days, primarily by fidgeting with the thing at every opportunity.
“Do you want to keep your cruiser and uniform, or not?” Addison knew that Alex cracked under pressure like bone china being run over by a jacked up four-wheel drive. He was going to have to force Alex to hold it together, or they were all screwed.
“You know I do. I need this job. It’s just that what we’re doing feels wrong to me. I’m doing my very best to be a good cop. If my best still isn’t good enough to beat Eddie’s best, maybe he really would be the better man for the job.”
“You’re a good cop, Alex. You’re a fair, good-tempered guy, and you know how things work in Coastal County. You know what you can let slide, and what kind of shit has to be turned in no matter who’s done it and how much they’re willing to pay to keep it under the table.” Addison sighed and played with the buttons on his radio. He had no idea how much time they would have to kill before dispatch called to announce the poachers were putting in their nightly appearance.
“But Eddie-.”
Addison cut Alex off. “Eddie doesn’t understand the difference between doing a job and exacting revenge for an old grudge. Eddie got bullied in school by most of people he would be charged with protecting if he was hired on as a full time permanent deputy. He wants revenge on half the town. If we let him carry around a badge, he’s going to charge everyone in sight with everything he can think of.” Addison took a deep breath. “David’s at the top of Eddie’s list, Alex. David.”
“I know. Eddie hates him with a passion.” Alex abruptly stopped playing with the badge. “Wish David didn’t act like such a douchebag all the time.”
“It doesn’t matter what David acts like at this point. Eddie thinks he killed Josie. He wants him to hang for it. You can’t let that happen. You owe it to David to make sure Twitchy Eddie doesn’t get this job.”
Feeding Gators: Book 1 in the Shiner's Bayou Series Page 19
