Heat crept into Vanessa’s cheeks at the unexpected compliment. “She told you that?” she murmured.
Colton just arched his brows like the answer was obvious.
Maybe it was. They might not have been together for long, but Addison and Colton were as close as two people could be.
She felt a pang of…something.
Surely not envy. No way. Finding some nice guy who adored her was all fine and good for Addison, but—
Oh, who was she kidding? Of course she wanted to find a love of her own. But not in Cyrano. This was only ever supposed to be a temporary stay until she figured out her next step. Besides, the longer she was here the more obvious it became that she didn’t belong here. Too much bad history. Too much baggage. She didn’t belong here any more now than she had then.
And Trent? She glanced down at his picture smiling up at her. He did belong here. Of course he did. He was the hometown hero.
More than that…she suspected he was still out of her league. Or at the very least, he was in a different league. One where people were unfailingly nice, spoke the truth, and had an unerring sense of where they fit in the world.
That last one, in particular—that wasn’t her.
“Look, Colton, I appreciate you saying all that, but—”
“But nothing,” he interrupted. His smile disappeared and he looked more intense than she’d ever seen him. “Trent’s a good guy and he needs someone like you.”
She pursed her lips. Somehow she didn’t think he just meant someone smart and kind.
Colton exchanged a look with his sister like he was looking for her input. “Trent tends to attract women who are…” He looked to Gina again.
“Needy?” she offered.
“Helpless,” Colton added.
“Wow, you two really don’t pull your punches,” Vanessa said.
Gina winced. “We’re not trying to be mean, just trying to explain why we’re so happy that you and Trent seem to be hitting it off.”
She fidgeted in her seat. “Yeah, about that…” It’s one big lie.
Before she could figure out how to word that nicely, Gina continued, “Trent tends to attract damsels in distress.”
Colton nodded. “Everyone seems to want something from the guy. You know?”
She nodded, forgetting all about her intention to explain the misunderstanding. Her heart was doing something funny at the thought of any woman—of anyone—taking advantage of Trent. He would be too easy to use. He was a giver, and if a taker came into his life, she would take advantage in a heartbeat.
She winced at the memory of how she’d used him to make Chip jealous. Ugh. She hated herself a little for being so crass and insensitive. It was petty and low, and like something Chip would do—not her.
Not the old her, at least.
And not the new me, either.
She dropped her head into her hands. Coming back home was wreaking havoc on her sanity. She felt split down the middle, torn between the past and the present.
And the future? A voice nagged. Who are you in the future?
A gaping chasm seemed to open up before her at the sheer at the thought of her future.
Colton leaned forward and she lifted her head to meet his gaze.
She wished she hadn’t.
A serious Colton was an intimidating Colton, and his gaze held hers steadily. “He needs someone like you. Someone who’ll look out for him.”
A hysterical giggle bubbled up inside her. Her? Look after him? She was a walking mess, especially since she’d come home. He was the one who had it all together—who knew what he wanted?
What is it that you want, Trent? She’d never ever forget the look in his eyes after she’d asked him that. Just before he’d kissed her. The memory alone made her heart leap into her throat. “I don’t know what you heard about last night, but—”
“It’s not what I heard,” Colton said. “I know the gossip is all for the campaign. It’s what I saw.”
She stared at him in shock. So he knew that they were faking a relationship? But then why…why did he even think…
“He needs someone like you,” Colton said again, his tone so serious it sent a jolt of panic straight through her.
No! Not me. He doesn’t need me.
She opened her mouth to say just that but instead, she found herself asking, “So, what’s your advice?”
His eyes met hers. “Don’t break his heart.”
She jerked back in surprise and the intensity of the moment lifted. Colton shrugged. “Okay, fine that’s not so much advice as is it a request. A plea, really.” He leaned forward again. “Please don’t break my best friend’s heart.”
“I-I wouldn’t,” she stammered. “I couldn’t.”
“You could,” Colton said, his tone brooking no arguments. “But please don’t.”
12
Colton didn’t know the whole story.
Vanessa told herself this repeatedly an hour later as she pretended to work on her new website. She had every intention of working on the website but it was difficult to accomplish much when her mind wandered every three seconds.
And all thought detours led to one person.
“Trent!” The sound of Gina shouting his name had her head snapping up.
There he was—all six-feet blond surfer bod in all his glory. Well, it was more likely a ski bod or a snowboarding bod, since the ocean was more than a thousand miles away.
Those bright blue eyes were fixed on her and for the millionth time since she’d returned, Vanessa felt like a schoolgirl, complete with sweaty palms. All she could think was, he kissed me.
He kissed me, he kissed me, he kissed me.
He stopped just short of the table and looked down. His brows shot up. “Wow, that’s…a lot of me.”
She looked down too. “We’re lucky you photograph so well.”
When she glanced up he looked adorably flustered. “Is it really necessary to post my picture around town? Everyone knows who I am and what I look like.”
She held back a laugh, but only just barely. “Why, Trent Arnolds, are you shy?”
He tilted his head to the side and gave her a baleful look that made her laugh outright.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ll protect you from the adoring women who come running when you’re the new sheriff.”
“Adoring women, huh?” His gaze was fixed on her. “What if I only want one woman?”
Her breath caught in her throat and her gaze fell to his lips automatically. He kissed me!
She blinked and gave her head a little shake. Was he flirting? With her?
She wished she could say the very thought didn’t make her giddy but to deny the butterflies in her belly was futile. They’d set up residence and were fluttering around with abandon.
“I, uh…” She looked down at the posters, completely at a loss for what she was supposed to say. Trent’s face looked back up at her.
No help there.
“I was hoping I could talk to you,” Trent said. Apparently he’d already given up on her ability to form a verbal response. And well he should because her mind was a blank, her body a nervous wreck, and her heart…why was it pounding like that?
“I swear I can be cool.” The words came out of her mouth like a spasm. She closed her eyes. I did not just say that.
“Excuse me?”
When she opened her eyes she saw amusement written all over his face, but it was the nice kind. The affectionate ‘you’re so cute’ kind of laughter, not the ‘I’m laughing at what a dope you are’ kind.
“I, um…” She let out along exhale. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m normally much cooler than this.”
“Than what?”
She huffed. This was coming out all wrong. “It’s like you have this magic power,” she said.
He crossed his arms, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully though his lips were still quirked up in a little grin. “I’m listening.”
“I turn back
into a flustered schoolgirl when you’re around, but I’m not usually like this,” she huffed. “You bring out the worst in me.”
“Really?” His smile grew. “I think I bring out the best.”
She tapped her foot on the ground as she toyed with the posters on the table. “You’re not being serious. When I went off to college, I made a point of…of…” Oh heck, there was no other way of putting it. “Reinventing myself.”
“I see,” he said slowly.
She looked down. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed, because…” She swallowed, hating herself for what she’d said and what she was about to say, but knowing she wouldn’t stop. She couldn’t stop. Because that was who she was. Someone who faced her issues and dealt with them head on. She didn’t run, she didn’t hide, and she was no coward. Not anymore.
Straightening a bit, she forced herself to continue with the awkward truth. “Don’t try and pretend you haven’t noticed the changes.” She looked down at the form-fitting dress, the strappy heels that made her legs look great. “Don’t pretend, okay?”
Her voice sounded strained, even to her, and she watched his amusement morph into concern. “Hey, is this…” He stepped closer. “Is this because I kissed you?”
She sucked in a breath but the oxygen refused to make it to her head. Yes! This was because she’d been doing a darn good job of avoiding romantic thoughts of this man, but now he came in here and he flirted with her and she…
She was a mess.
His smile faded completely and his expression was deadly serious. “Vanessa, if I made you uncomfortable last night…If I crossed the line…”
“No,” she said quickly. “You didn’t.”
The silence was filled with tension and something else. Unspoken words.
She sighed. “I’m sorry, I’m overreacting. I know it didn’t mean anything and—”
“It did mean something,” he said, his voice low and quiet. “It meant something to me.”
He’d stressed ‘to me’ and she knew he was waiting for her to respond. Had it meant something to her? “Look, Trent—”
“Go out with me.”
She arched her brows, her eyes widening in surprise. “What?”
He moved even closer and the table was the only thing between them. He braced his hands on the edge and leaned forward. “Go out with me,” he said again, softer this time. “Please.”
“I—” Her voice was a croak. Her throat felt too tight, her mouth too dry. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
Yeah, why not? That little voice of reason had no place here, not when her body and heart were firmly rooted in junior high.
“Dinner,” he persisted. “Tonight.”
She let out a long exhale. “You’re awfully demanding, did you know that?”
He smiled. “Only when it’s something I want.”
She bit her lip. “And what is it, exactly, that you want?”
“I want to get to know you,” he said simply. “I want to learn all about your life since you’ve moved away. I want to hear what’s brought you back. I want to get to know this new you you’ve reinvented, and I want to hear what you plan for the future.”
Future. That one little word finally got through her daze. What were her plans for her future? She didn’t know for sure, but she did know they didn’t include staying here. For half a second there when she’d first returned, she’d thought maybe. But this place was her past. It brought back everything she’d always hated about herself. It eroded her confidence and made her feel like a child again in the very worst ways.
And then, just like that—reality hit.
She was leaving, he was staying.
She remembered how he’d been burned by Shelley who’d left him because she hadn’t wanted to come back here either. Shelley, who he was better off without—but she knew better than anyone that even knowing that didn’t erase the old pain, the lingering wounds.
Don’t break his heart.
And there it was. Colton’s plea. She’d thought he’d been misguided, viewing her and Trent through the rosy colored glasses of a new relationship, but now…
Her gaze met Trent’s and held.
Now she saw what Colton had seen. The way he was looking at her, like she was something special. Somebody to be treasured and cherished.
She inhaled quickly but it did nothing to stop the quick stab of pain in her chest. Bittersweet agony was what it was. She’d been waiting a lifetime to have someone look at her like that, but right now it scared the life out of her.
This couldn’t be for her. This wasn’t her future, and she’d never fooled herself into thinking she’d get her fairytale.
She forced steel into her bones and a smile on her face. “Trent, of course I’ll go out with you.” She held up a poster. “I’m your girlfriend, remember? It sort of comes with the territory.”
Despite her teasing tone, which she’d hoped would lighten the tension, his gaze was utterly serious. “Is that a nice way of saying you’re not interested?”
She opened her mouth to say yes, but couldn’t do it. Mainly because it was a lie and she had a hard time lying to this man. But also because she didn’t want to hurt him, and there was one thing she knew would end the conversation better than any form of rejection. “It’s my way of saying it’s not a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Because…I’m leaving.”
He blinked. “What? When?”
“I…don’t exactly know.”
Trent rocked back on his heels. “Tell me honestly, Vanessa. Are you just saying you’re leaving to get out of going out with me?”
“No! Of course not.” She could feel heat creeping into her cheeks and cursed this man’s ability to fluster her. “Look, I don’t know when I’m leaving but I just know that my future…” She shook her head. “It’s not here.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“I appreciate you telling me that.”
She let out a long breath that was part relief and a whole lot of sadness. It was stupid to feel sad that he wasn’t…what? Fighting for her? She mentally rolled her eyes. Of course he wasn’t. This guy might be a knight in shining armor but she was no princess.
And her life? Not a fairytale.
It was alarming how often she had to remind herself of that. She took a deep breath and forced her smile even wider. “Now, shall we?”
She gestured toward the front door.
“Where are we going?”
She held up the posters. “I was hoping you’d come with me to hang these in some storefronts along Main Street.”
He opened his mouth but she cut him off. “Don’t worry, I got the okays already, but it would go a long way if you came and shook some hands, made some small talk with the business owners.”
He looked at her for a while before letting out a long exhale. “Yeah, sure. Let’s do this.” He helped her gather the posters and carried them for her as they headed out the door.
“So,” he said. “I suppose you’re going to continue with this fake girlfriend routine until the election, huh?”
She peeked over at him but his expression was hard to read. Uncertainty flickered through her because his tone…his tone had been off. Almost too mild. She thought of everything that had happened the night before and knew she’d never be able to survive the nagging guilt that had been eating at her for the last twenty-four hours since she’d shut the door and watched him walk away.
“Um, about that…” she said. “I wanted to apologize.”
“You already did,” he said, giving her a friendly nudge with his elbow. “And you know, I don’t love lying to people, but I think you were right about the fact that it’s good for my image, and I know you had my best interests in mind.”
She nodded. “Yes, but, um…that wasn’t actually what I meant.”
He glanced over with one brow arched in question.
“I wanted to apologize about…Chip.
” Ugh, just saying his name was hard. Not because she was hung up on him, but because it brought back shameful memories of her own behavior.
“Ahh,” he said. Then he gave her a kind smile that made her heart lurch. “You apologized for that, too.”
“I know, but I…I want you to understand.”
He nodded for her to continue.
“Coming back here… It’s like all the life lessons and maturity I gained over the years just disappear sometimes.” She waved her hands in a poof motion like she was a magician and Trent laughed. “I’m serious. It’s bizarre and it’s…unsettling. I know logically that I don’t care what Chip thinks about me. I know I’m not still harboring a crush, and I know that I’m over the fact that he laughed at me—”
“He laughed at you?” Trent stopped and turned to face her, his brows drawn together in anger. “Why would he laugh at you?”
She heaved a sigh. This was so not the trip down memory lane she was hoping to take this afternoon. “Because I told him I liked him. I thought…” She shook her head. “I thought maybe he liked me too.”
Trent’s eyes softened with sympathy. “And he didn’t.”
“He definitely did not. In fact, he made it quite clear that it had never even occurred to him because he was so far out of my league.” She made a face. “Those were his exact words.”
“Out of your league?” He cringed. “Who even talks like that? Who thinks like that?”
She stared at him for a second because…he was for real. He actually didn’t understand the concept or how anyone viewed the world like that and she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, whether to hug him or hit him.
“What?” he said. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
She choked on a laugh of disbelief. “Because you’re so…so you!”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that you can’t be for real. No one is that kind and good and—”
“I never claimed to be.” Almost under his breath he muttered, “Why is everyone trying to make me out to be a saint these days?”
“Because you honestly don’t see it,” she said, her voice too intense. She tried to calm down, but seriously. This guy! “You don’t see that you’re ridiculously handsome, and from a happy family, raised in a good neighborhood, with nice clothes, and—” She forced herself to swallow and took a deep breath. “I honestly don’t know whether it’s charming that you don’t see that you were also out of my league, or if it just speaks to how easily everything came to you your whole life.”
Fake Dating the Hometown Deputy: A Sweet Standalone Romance (Fake Dates Book 2) Page 9
