“So?” he said. “What have you learned about me so far?” He turned to her with a threatening scowl. “And don’t you dare knock my throwing arm.”
She smiled as she pretended to think it over. “Let’s see, so far I’ve learned that you’re still a gentleman…”
He tipped his head back and forth as if considering it, but it was true. She’d been with enough jerks to know the difference and this was a guy who’d been raised with old-fashioned notions about opening doors and letting ladies lead the way and paying for their ice cream. It was quaint and old-fashioned and…kind of nice, actually.
“I’ve also discovered that you know every single person in the county,” she said.
“Comes with the territory,” he said. “Deputies tend to get around.”
“Mmm. And do they all have women gazing at them adoringly as they pass?”
He rolled his eyes and she had to hold back a laugh. She couldn’t even be jealous because as much as he absolutely had a string of admirers, he hadn’t taken his eyes off her all afternoon.
Having his full attention had been heady and sweet and delicious. She was already dreading the moment it had to end.
Does it have to end?
Ah, see, now there was the voice of temptation she’d been hoping to never hear again.
They’d made it past a booth filled with homemade candles and a few revolutionary war reenactors when Vanessa heard her name called. “Nessie!”
Well, not her real name, but the name that made her wince. Her cringe morphed into a smile at the sight of her old English Lit teacher. “Mrs. Mackey!”
The older lady joined them and gave Vanessa a hug. “It’s so good to have you back, dear.”
Have you back. The words felt a little too…constricting.
It’s not forever, she wanted to say. I won’t be here long.
She shifted, hoping that stepping out of the woman’s embrace might make it easier to breathe.
“How’s your mother?” Mrs. Mackey asked.
“Oh, she’s…fine.” Vanessa stumbled over the words. Her mother was fine, but this woman asking brought up memories of the last time she’d seen her. Senior year just after her father had lost his hours because the ski season had ended, and her mother had been laid off from her part-time job at a store one town over. She’d seen Mrs. Makcey at church when they were there to pick up a box of canned goods from the yearly drive that Mrs. Mackey ran for families in need…like hers.
Look at you now. Chip’s taunting words rattled around in her skull.
Mrs. Mackey was smiling at her, asking questions about her new life, her new job. Vanessa answered them all through a jaw that felt too tight and a smile that felt rigid.
It wasn’t Mrs. Mackey’s fault. She knew that. She did her best to push aside old memories and focus on answering while not showboating about her success but not being too humble either. Finding a balance felt like a circus act.
Man, why was this so hard? Everything about being back here felt hard.
When Mrs. Mackey walked away, they stood there in silence until Trent took her arm and led her over to a lemonade stand manned by two elementary-school-aged kids. “So,” he said mildly as he slipped some money into their glass jar. “Want to tell me what that was about?”
She took a deep breath. “I don’t think you’d get it.”
“Try me.”
She licked her lips and met his gaze and realized…he at least deserved that. Her honesty. She didn’t think he’d get it, but she deserved that too. To try. To make him see. “When people look at you, they see…all good things. They remember how kind your father was as their doctor. They remember how wonderful your mother was when she organized all those drives and charity events.”
His brows came down as he regarded her steadily, listening with all his might.
“When they see me?” She let out a humorless laugh. “They see the charity case. The girl from the poor part of town. They see the girl who wore terrible clothes and had her mom cut her hair. They see the girl they called Loch Ness Monster for half her life.”
He reached out a hand and touched her arm. “Vanessa, that’s not—”
“Don’t you see, Trent? Coming back here isn’t the same for me as it is for you.” She drew in a deep breath, hating this awful mix of emotions that made tears feel too close. It made her control slip and her hands shake… “It’s not just about how I was a loser in high school, or about how guys like you never noticed me except to mock me. It’s all of it. It’s my whole history here. I didn’t have a happy life here, Trent—”
“Was it all bad?”
Maybe if he’d asked it with a challenging tone she would have been able to ignore him. Maybe if he hadn’t looked so curious and his tone had been so gentle, so understanding…
But it was, so she couldn’t ignore the question.
She folded her arms over her chest. “No, of course not. I love my parents and they love me…but they don’t live here anymore,” she added stubbornly.
“That’s it, then? Those are your only happy memories?” He sounded honestly curious, concerned…not argumentative. It made it impossible not to think back so she could answer him just as honestly.
He arched his brows, forcing her to continue. She glanced over at Mrs. Mackey. “I had some great teachers who encouraged me. I had experiences that most of my friends from big cities couldn’t even fathom thanks to my summers working on nearby ranches.” She felt a smile tugging at her lips at those memories. Of the kind ranchers and their families who let an awkward teen girl do odd chores because they knew she needed the money.
Trent took a step closer. “There’s some good here then, right?”
She looked up and wished she hadn’t. Yes, there was some good here…there was someone good here. Someone great.
Why did he have to be so dang good?
It was time to spell it out for him, to make him see, because even hearing all that, he still had this look of hope about him, and that made her insides twist with guilt.
She couldn’t be the woman for him. She couldn’t be in his life the way he wanted her to be. She wasn’t the person he thought she was, and she certainly didn’t want the same things that he wanted.
“Do you want to hear my biggest regret?” She just sort of blurted it out, right there in the middle of Baker’s Field with two children and their lemonade sitting right next to them.
Trent’s brows arched up in surprise. “Sure.”
“I could have left sooner, but I didn’t.”
There. The truth was out and it…didn’t make a bit of difference. He was entirely unmoved and she still felt like her heart was trying to slither into her belly. She let out a loud exhale. “I had the grades and enough credits because I busted my butt to graduate early and get out of this town. I could have left at the end of junior year. I got a scholarship, my parents were all for it and I wanted to, but…”
She closed her eyes, hating her former self more than ever.
“But?”
She opened her eyes. “But I stayed here for a boy.”
A long silence passed. “You stayed for Chip.”
It wasn’t a question. She nodded anyway. Man, how humiliating. She shrugged, trying to force a smile. “I was an idiot. I thought he liked me. I thought he felt the same…” She shrugged again.. “I stayed for a boy.”
The phrase was filled with all the self-loathing she felt and he grimaced.
“I left for a girl.”
She blinked at him. “What?”
Now it was his turn to shrug, but his actually seemed nonchalant, whereas hers…had not.
She was a big ball of tension and regret, while he seemed as laid back as the day was long. “Explain,” she demanded.
He shifted with a little grimace, rubbing the back of his neck in a gesture she was starting to recognize. “What I told you about me and Shelley?”
She nodded.
“I might not have told the whole story.”
She was oddly enamored by the tinge of pink that was creeping up his neck. It was such a rarity for Trent to be anything less than calm, cool, and in command, so to see him blush?
It was delightful.
“What part did you leave out, exactly?” she asked.
He cleared his throat. “The part where we started dating in the spring of our senior year and…I went to the same school that she did so we could be together.”
She tilted her head to the side. That didn’t seem all that bad.
He winced. “The fact that I’d never wanted to leave at all. And the fact that I still regret those years away because if I’d been here, my parents wouldn’t have had to do all the work around the house themselves. I would have made sure my mom wasn’t overdoing it…I would have been there for my father when she’d been rushed to the hospital.”
Any amusement she’d felt withered and died when she saw the guilt in his eyes. She wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault, that he couldn’t have known, but that wasn’t her place. She knew better than anyone, that the hardest emotions weren’t based in logic and she couldn’t tell him how to feel. “Oh, Trent,” she said. “I’m so sorry.”
He shrugged, but this time he didn’t manage to pull off nonchalance. Not even a little.
“The worst part was, I didn’t even get the girl.” He said it with forced levity, and she knew he was trying to ease the tension so she smiled.
“Trust me. You don’t want that girl.”
He arched his brows.
“Did I mention that I ran into Shelley in New York?”
He shook his head.
She held up her fingers. “She’s currently on husband number three. From what I could tell, her only goal in life is to climb her way up the social ladder.”
He winced. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
She grinned. “Of course you are.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that I believe you. I believe that even after she broke your heart, you wish that woman well.”
He shifted as he studied her. “Is that so bad?”
“No,” she said quietly. “It’s not bad at all. It’s just further proof that she didn’t deserve you.”
He frowned. “Well, I don’t know about that—”
“I do.” She took a deep breath and let out it out with force as the reality of what she’d just said hit her in the gut. “Just like I know that you’re too good for me, too.”
She took off before he could stop her, darting past the kids with their lemonade and all the way down the path to the parking lot where she’d left her car.
Was it harsh to run away after sharing a moment like that? Maybe.
Definitely.
But then again, that was what she did best.
She ran.
He stayed.
It was bound to end at some point, and she’d felt herself wanting to lean into him, wanting to comfort him and let him tell her that it would all work out.
But that right there? That was the danger. Her life wasn’t here. She didn’t like who she was here—she didn’t know that she liked who she was anywhere, but anywhere else she could at least start fresh.
She could start over.
And right now? That sounded like freedom. Maybe not happiness, or even contentment, but maybe those things weren’t meant for someone like her. Just like this town had never been for her. And a guy like Trent? A knight in shining armor?
He was definitely not for someone like her.
15
Trent was still staring after her when Addison reached his side, her face painted like a unicorn but her eyes filled with concern. “Where’d Vanessa run off to?”
Colton came up behind her, looking ridiculously stoic while sporting Batman face paint. “Is everything all right?”
He was asking Addison, but Addison looked to Trent. “I don’t know. Is everything all right? I saw Vanessa run out of here like someone was chasing her.”
He opened his mouth but shut it again, because he had no idea how to respond.
Something was chasing her, he suspected. But it wasn’t a person. It was her past. He wasn’t sure there was anything he could do to help her with that.
What he could offer though, was a future.
And he wanted a future with this woman. He wanted it more than he could express.
He looked to Vanessa’s best friend. “I think I love her.”
The words just hung in the air and he wasn’t sure who was the most shocked by them. He reckoned he was. He’d never used the L-word, at least not since Shelley, and he’d never imagined feeling something so deep and visceral with someone he’d only just met.
No, he hadn’t just met her. She’d been in his life all along. He’d just been too stupid to notice her back then. He’d been blinded by his own ambitions, and by shallow, fleeting things like good looks and a quick laugh.
He’d been an idiot.
But then again, he’d been a teenager.
“Good for you, man.” Colton was the first to break the silence and he did it with a resounding thud as he clapped a hand on Trent’s back. “Welcome to adulthood, my man. A world filled with mature relationships.”
Addison was watching Colton with amusement and then she looked to Trent, rhinestones flashing on her cheeks in the sunlight. “We are very mature.”
Trent grinned, but he couldn’t shake this feeling that he’d been winded and couldn’t quite catch his breath.
Addison seemed to understand. She placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “It’s a lot to take in, huh?”
He nodded.
“Do you think she feels the same?” she asked.
He tried not to groan. “I was, uh…kind of hoping you might have the answer to that.”
Addison winced with regret. “I wish I did, but she’s been super tight-lipped whenever the topic turns to you.”
“Which it does a lot,” Colton added with a laugh. “Addison has been asking her about you since the day she arrived in town.”
“And she’s told you nothing,” he guessed.
She tilted her head to the side. “If it helps, I think the fact that she doesn’t want to talk about you speaks volumes.”
He nodded, a flicker of hope coming to life because the more he got to know Vanessa, the more certain he was that Addison was right. Vanessa was quick to talk about things that didn’t matter. She’d kept the friendly faces at bay all afternoon. Their prying questions were met with flippant little remarks or a witty comment that had everyone laughing, walking away without realizing that she hadn’t said anything at all.
“I need to go find her,” he said. “She’s upset and—”
“I’ll look,” Addison interrupted. “She might need to talk to a friend.”
Trent hesitated, but Addison was already turning and hurrying in the direction Vanessa had gone.
He wanted to be the one going after her, but then again…he’d done this—he’d upset her, forced her hand. They weren’t even truly dating yet and he’d scared her into running away from him. He’d pushed too hard too soon just because he thought he knew what was best.
Her. With him. Here in Cyrano.
But maybe he was wrong. Maybe she was right. Maybe she didn’t belong here and he’d just be holding her back from her dreams.
Like Shelley.
For a split second he almost felt that familiar sting of pain, but to his surprise it didn’t come.
He stood stock still and waited.
No. It wasn’t there. That old hurt that came with Shelley’s rejection had faded into nonexistence…when had that happened?
Colton slapped a hand on his shoulder. “Want to go grab a beer, pretty boy? Forget about girl troubles and sheriff duties for a while?”
Trent shook his head and the thoughts that plagued him. “No. Thanks. I’ve got a long day still ahead of me, making nice with the voters.” He tried to force a smile but it felt off. He’d thought they we
re making such progress.
Their afternoon together had been so effortless. So fun. It had been the sort of easy camaraderie he’d always dreamt of, the kind of close companionship he’d watched his parents share and that he’d been holding out for, if he were being honest.
“All right, man, but maybe you should take a breather, at least,” Colton said, eyeing him with more than a hint of sympathy.
“I’ll just head over to my folks,” he said, although right now putting on a happy face for his parents was the last thing he needed. “See if they need me to bring them any groceries before everyone shuts down for the fireworks tonight and the actual holiday tomorrow.”
“Good idea,” Colton said, but his expression said he wasn’t convinced. “If they need any help, you know you can always call on me or Addie, right? Or Gina. You don’t have to do everything yourself…you know that, right?”
“Of course.” Trent aimed for a smile again and likely failed. He wasn’t in the mood for any more lectures or anyone else’s worry on his behalf.
Which is why you’re going to visit your parents? He let out a humorless laugh at the thought. They lived near the hill where the festivities took place so it wasn’t long before he showed up on their doorstep with some takeout food in one hand and his mother’s medication in the other.
The pharmacy wouldn’t be open during the holiday either and he wanted to make sure she wasn’t without.
“Trent, so glad you could stop by,” his father called out. He and Trent’s mother were out on the back patio where they could hear the music coming from the festival if not see the activity.
“How are you feeling?” he asked his mother as he gave her a peck on the cheek.
“Better. Much better.” She smiled up at him and he grinned.
Her words would have meant more if she didn’t always say the same thing. She was always feeling better, forever on the mend. The woman knew better than anyone how to put on a happy face and she’d taught him well.
But right now…
His mind was anywhere but here, and he had a horrible feeling that his heart had gone chasing after Vanessa, deserting him once and for all.
He ran a hand over his eyes. Stuff and nonsense, as his grandfather used to say. He was being ridiculous. No doubt the side effect of all the changes that had occurred in a week’s time. An election, running the sheriff’s office, and…oh yeah…falling for Vanessa.
Fake Dating the Hometown Deputy: A Sweet Standalone Romance (Fake Dates Book 2) Page 11
