Metta. See also Loving-kindness; Metta phrases
mindfulness and, 132–135
for others, 166–178, 184–190
overview, 130
prayer and, 153–154
three components of, 145–150
what it isn’t, 158–159
Metta phrases. See also Loving-kindness; Metta
in daily life, 154–157
loving-kindness for others and, 184–190
overview, 136–140
sleeping and, 214
words and, 146–147
“Middle way”, 25–27
Mindful path technique, 37–42
Mindful Self-Compassion Meditation, 216–217
Mindful walking exercise, 58–60
Mindfulness. See also Exercises
anchoring emotions and your mind, 44–49, 64–69
beginning to practice, 42–49
of the body, 49–51
components of, 57–59
customizing, 57–60
in daily life, 56–60
inner transformation and, 212
loving-kindness and, 132–135, 152
measuring your progress, 240–243
mindful path, 37–42
overview, 4, 34, 37, 38–40
questions regarding, 232–240
resources for further reading and practice, 270–271
savoring and, 115–116
schemas and, 96
self-compassion and, 82, 83–84, 89–92
trauma and, 78–79
what it isn’t, 55
Mindfulness of Body Sensations exercise, 50–51, 147
Mindfulness of Breathing exercise, 45–46
Mindfulness of Emotion in the Body exercise, 66–67, 147
Mindfulness of Sound exercise, 42–43
Mindfulness-based relapse prevention (MBRP), 215
Mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR), 53, 90
Mindlessness, 40–42
Minimizing one’s pain, 197
Mistrust/abuse schema, 94
Money, spending, 109
Moralist personality style, 205–206
Motivation, self-compassion and, 91
Music meditation, 264–265
My Schemas exercise, 94–95
Narcissism, self-compassion and, 99
Nature meditation, 265–266
Negative emotions, 73–74, 117, 120–121. See also
Emotions, difficult Negativity/pessimism schema, 94
Nervousness, fear of public speaking and, 22
Neutral category of people, 168, 172–173
Nonharm, developing self-compassion and, 112–114
Noting, 69–71
Obsessive—compulsive disorder, 47
Open-field awareness, 81–82
Outsider personality style, 203–204
Over/identification, 82
Oxytocin, tend and befriend response and, 85
Pain. See also Emotions, difficult
back pain and, 17–19
caregiver personality style and, 197
caring for others and, 179–180
emotion words for labeling, 245 —248
facing in meditation, 217–220
individualist personality style and, 200
labeling emotions and, 73–74
loving-kindness and, 132–135, 142–143, 151
mindfulness and, 55
outsider personality style and, 204
questions regarding, 234–235
resistance and, 15 —25
savoring and, 115–116
schemas and, 93–96
self-compassion and, 93–96, 179–180
suffering and, 62–64
survivor personality style and, 201
turning towards rather than attempting to change, 10–15
Perfectionism, 100
Perfectionist personality style, 198–199
Personal qualities, 115–116, 143
Personality
balance and, 193–194
examining, 195–207
overview, 96–98
reshaping of through the practice of mindfulness and self-compassion, 212
styles of, 195–207
Pity, 89, 117, 158
Pleasant Life, 183
Pleasure, 208, 245–248
Pleasure-seeking treadmill
benefits of, 27
loving-kindness and, 143
overview, 13, 14
Positive affirmation, 158
Positive emotions. See also Emotions
developing self-compassion and, 116–122
feeding, 120–121
labeling and, 73–74
loving-kindness and, 143
well-being and, 119
Power, emotion words for labeling, 246–247
Prayer, compared to loving-kindness meditation, 153–154
Projection mechanism, 26–27
Psychological well-being altruism and, 183
balance and, 194–195
self-compassion and, 100
smiling and, 119
Psychotherapy, resources for further reading and practice, 271–272
Public speaking, fear of, 20–22, 157, 213–216
Punitiveness schema, 94
Regrets, 16, 41, 210–211
Rejection, fear of, 98–99, 117
Relapse, 225
Relationship conflict
disconnection and, 162–166
loving-kindness and, 156–157, 181–182
overview, 15, 213–216
resistance and, 22–24
Relationship to pain and pleasure, 14
Relationships, 166–178. See also Caring for others; Connectedness; Relationship conflict
Relaxation, mindfulness and, 55
Religion, mindfulness and, 55
Remorse, loving-kindness for others and, 182
Repetition, weariness hindrance and, 210
Research results, 53, 98–100
Resistance. See also Avoidance
aversion hindrance and, 209
compared to acceptance, 31–32
labeling emotions and, 73–74
pain and, 15–25
questions regarding, 234–235
Resources, 268–279
Responsibility, emotion words for labeling, 246–247
Retreats, 231
Rumination, 47, 100
Sadness, 117, 246
Safety, 26, 79, 250–251
Savoring, 114–116, 147–148
Schadenfreude, 171
Schemas labeling, 152
loving-kindness and, 151, 152
overview, 93–96
self-compassion and, 93–96
Security, 250–251
Self, 92–98, 96–98, 122
Self-absorption, 3, 84
Self-awareness, empathy and, 88
Self-care, 102, 179
Self-compassion. See also Loving-kindness
from acceptance to, 31–34
balance and, 179–180, 193–195
caregiver personality style and, 196–197
childhood roots and, 121–126
commitment and, 227–228
compassion fatigue and, 182–183
determining the depth of in yourself, 82–84
hindrances to, 193–194, 207–212
inner transformation and, 212
measuring your progress, 240–243
mindfulness and, 89–92
naturalness of, 84–86
nonharm and, 112–114
overview, 1–6, 33–34, 81–82, 101–102, 221–222
pathways to, 102–112
questions regarding, 232–240
research regarding, 98–100
resources for further reading and practice, 268–279
savoring and, 114–116
selfishness and, 86–89
stages of, 222–227
tending to the self and, 92–98
Self-Compassion Journal, 241–243
&nbs
p; Self-Compassion Scale, 82–84, 241
Self-criticism
labeling of, 70–71
loving-kindness and, 149
moralist personality style and, 205
overview, 3
perfectionist personality style and, 199
self-compassion and, 84, 100, 113–114
survivor personality style and, 200–201
Self-esteem, 98–99
Self-forgiveness, 156
Self-image, 203–204
Self-improvement, 34–35, 201–202
Self-indulgence, 206
Selfishness, 86–89, 140–141, 158
Self-isolation, 3, 84
Self-judgment, 82, 82–83, 113–114
Self-kindness
overview, 82–83
savoring and, 114–116
self-compassion and, 84
trauma and, 79
Selflessness, wisdom of, 121
Self-pity, 89
Self-sacrifice schema, 94
Self-talk, 136–140, 154–157
Sensing, 70–71
Serenity, 14
Shame
common humanity and, 83
loving-kindness and, 149–150, 150–151, 182
self-compassion and, 100
Shyness, caring for others and, 180–181
Sitting meditation. See Meditation Sleep problems
loving-kindness and, 156
overview, 213–216
resistance and, 19–20
Sleeping, 186
Smiles, well-being and, 119
Social anxiety, caring for others and, 180–181
Social connectedness. See also Connectedness
emotion words for labeling, 248
meditation and, 230
self-compassion and, 99–100
Social isolation/alienation schema, 94
Social trust, disconnection and, 164
Soften, Allow, and Love exercise, 67–68, 102
Spending money on others, 109
Spirituality, 110–112
Splitting mechanism, 26 —27
Stage fright. See Public speaking, fear of
Stages of acceptance, 27–31
Strangers, loving-kindness towards, 172, 172–173
Strengths, 115–116, 143
Stress, 49, 53
Stress response
introvert personality style and, 207
overview, 85
self-compassion and, 19–20
Subjugation schema, 94
Suffering
caregiver personality style and, 197
how we create, 62–64
labeling emotions and, 73–74
loving-kindness and, 81–82, 157
perfectionist personality style and, 199
relationship between pain and resistance and, 15–25
self-compassion and, 84
Suppression, emotional, 21
Survivor personality style, 200–201
Sympathy, befriending your feelings, 106–108
Teacher for meditation, 231, 273–279
Tend and befriend responses to stress, 85
Thinking in mindfulness, 43
Thought suppression, 100
Thoughts, 55, 104–106
Tolerance stage of acceptance, 28, 29, 209
Tonglen meditation, 254–259
Transcendence, mindfulness and, 55
Trauma
difficult emotions and, 78–79
loving-kindness for others and, 182
self-compassion and, 85–86
survivor personality style and, 200–201
True acceptance stage of self-compassion, 225–227
Trust, social, 164
Unrelenting standards/hypercriticalness schema, 94
Unworthiness, feelings of, 200–201
Values, 227–228
VIA Signature Strengths Questionnaire, 116
Visualizations, 105, 262–264
Vulnerability to harm and illness schema, 94
Vulnerable, feelings of being, 26, 93–96
Waiting on yourself exercise, 35
Walking meditation, 184–186, 207
Walking mindfully exercise, 58–60
Weariness hindrance, 209–210
Websites, 272
Well-being
altruism and, 183
balance and, 194–195
self-compassion and, 100
Wishing, intellectual personality style and, 198
Words, loving-kindness and, 136–140, 146–147, 154–157
Workhorse personality style, 201–202
Worried attention, 71
Worry, benefit of, 16
Worthlessness feelings of, 141, 150–151
Young Schema Questionnaire (YSQ), 94
Zen practitioners, 47
about the author
Christopher K. Germer, PhD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice, specializing in mindfulness- and acceptance-based treatment. He has been integrating the principles and practices of meditation into psychotherapy since 1978 and has taken numerous journeys to India to explore the varieties of meditation. Dr. Germer is a Clinical Instructor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School and a founding member of the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy, an organization dedicated to teaching mental health professionals how to integrate ancient Buddhist psychology into effective modern psychotherapy. He lectures internationally on mindfulness and self-compassion, Dr. Germer is a codeveloper with Kristin Neff of the 8-week Mindful Self-Compassion training, and coeditor of the professionally acclaimed books Mindfulness and Psychotherapy and Wisdom and Compassion in Psychotherapy
About Guilford Publications
Founded in 1973, Guilford Publications, Inc. (www.guilford.com), has built an international reputation as a publisher of books, periodicals, software, and audiovisual programs in mental health, education, and the social and behavioral sciences. We are dedicated to bringing well-written, solidly researched work to professionals, academics, and general readers. Guilford’s balance of continuity and innovation has enabled us to foster lasting relationships with authors as well as customers, and to produce and market numerous enduring titles. The firm is owned by its founding partners, President Bob Matloff and Editor-in-Chief Seymour Weingarten.
From the Publisher
As with every work dealing with science, the contents of this book are subject to evolving standards and advancements. Such changes and advancements are an important part of the information that anyone providing or obtaining professional help, or planning self-help, should have to hand. In addition, any summary treatment of subjects so complicated can omit details such as rare or newly discovered but unconfirmed contraindications. Treatment should only be administered according to the most current guidelines available. If this book contains medication-related content, practitioners and consumers are strongly reminded to consult and review carefully the product information sheets that accompany any drug regime, in light of patient history. If this book contains self-care recommendations, it is not intended as a substitute for consultation with a healthcare professional. Each individual’s health concerns should be evaluated by a qualified professional.
The authors have checked with sources believed to be reliable in their efforts to provide information that is complete and generally in accord with the standards of practice that are accepted at the time of publication. However, in view of the possibility of human error or changes in medical sciences, neither the authors, nor the editor and publisher, nor any other party who has been involved in the preparation or publication of this work warrants that the information contained herein is in every respect accurate or complete, and they are not responsible for any errors or omissions or the results obtained from the use of such information. Readers are encouraged to confirm or compare the information contained in this book with other sources, so that informed treatment planning or self-care choices can be made.
opher K Germer, The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion
The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion Page 33
