The more she recovered, the more determined she was to return to her home and her uncle to gain back her memory. Gawain was ever patient, yet deterred her from it every time.
“I know, I know. I just can’t help but think there must be a better way for you to live than stuck here with me all the time. You must love me a great deal to give up all your wealth to live here with me living on so little.”
Gawain gave her his best attempt at a smile.
“My dearest, I couldn’t imagine anywhere else I would rather be than here with you. Please don’t distress yourself as I’m truly content.” Gawain moved toward her and patted the top of her head. “I need to replenish our stores. Rest up. We can gather more fruit tomorrow.” He gave her one last smile and left the cottage.
Nothing was too much for him. She drew the thick patchwork quilt up to her chin. Her anxiety must be due to her loss of memory and nothing more, for if something were wrong, Gawain would come and discuss it with her and they would work it out together.
She thought of how strained his face looked when his smiled. Damn her uncle for beating him so savagely and fracturing his jaw. He’d endured much and the last thing he needed was her nagging at him.
She took in her surroundings. Their home was small, everything contained in one room with a privy outside behind the weathered structure. It wasn’t much, but she tried to improve the gloomy space by adding fresh flowers as often as possible. He must find it hard to cope with his change in fortune so she tried her best to keep him happy. On one point she would be forever guilty. Aileana was incapable of intimacy with him and feared something from the accident had changed in her. He said they had their whole lives to wait and that she should be sure before they were intimate again. Still, it was unfair to him.
A bairn grew in her womb, so it was obvious they’d mated, but she couldn’t for the life of her imagine being with him in that way. Though there was no doubt of his kind nature, she questioned her attraction to him. Oddly enough, she couldn’t justify her aversion either. Soon, she would see the deed done. He deserved better than that from her.
The sunset cast a red hue inside the small cottage. The light danced on the walls while she settled down to rest up some more. He was right, she could collect fruit tomorrow. Perhaps she would give him more than a pie for dessert. An odd unease crept over her at the thought. She shook it away.
As she drew the quilts around her, all noise passed out of her consciousness except for the babbling stream running behind the cottage. She focused on it and fell into a deep sleep.
Aileana strolled through a meadow coloured by splashes of heather and bluebells. The warm air enveloped her, spreading happiness through her. She heard peals of laughter behind her and turned to see a beautiful little girl running from a handsome man. They were like nothing she had seen before—so perfect.
They ran toward her, laughing, and calling her name. The wee lass’s giggle sounded like perfect ringing bells. Her golden hair fell to her waist and danced all around like imaginary playmates.
When they reached Aileana, the little girl jumped into her arms and they swung round and round. She put the little beauty down just as the man pulled her against his hard chest and gave her the most passionate kiss. They joined hands with the little girl and walked together down a stone path toward a beautiful castle surrounded by the loveliest flowers.
The three walked and laughed together as the sky grew gloomy and thunder rumbled in the distance. They ran hard toward the castle, but couldn’t get closer. Before long, a downpour caused her grip to loosen on the little girl’s hand. Aileana blinked away heavy raindrops, but lost sight of the man and the girl and ran alone. She searched through the driving rain, but couldn’t find them anywhere.
After an eternity, Aileana reached the castle and entered the dark, cheerless keep to find many men and women standing in a circle, mourning. Unable to see for whom they wept, she pushed her way past those gathered to see a kindly faced man laid out on a stone slab.
He opened his eyes and spoke to her. “I’m your uncle Aileana. I’m your uncle and I love you, lass.”
Aileana screamed and bolted. She exited the castle and ran until she fell to the ground from exhaustion. The rain fell in sheets. She looked up from the cold, muddy earth to see a man approach her on a large white horse. He bent down, picked her up off the ground and tossed her onto the back of his horse. He didn’t speak to her and she had to hold on tight so she wouldn’t fall off.
They came to a small dark inn where he dragged her from the horse and shoved her inside. The cloaked man paid for a room and pulled her with him up the stairs toward it. He opened the door and pushed her inside as she turned to face him. When he pulled down his hood, she discovered it was the man from the meadow. He didn’t look happy and relaxed anymore—he looked dangerous.
“Aileana, where are you? You must help me find you!”
His emphasis on the last two words was so loud he almost shouted it. She was afraid of him and tried to get around him, but he would not let her leave and instead, took a key from his pocket as he left the room. The man locked the door from the outside leaving her there in the cold and dark, all alone and terrified. She yelled at the top of her lungs, but no one would come to help her.
Aileana awoke with a start, gasping for air and bathed in cold sweat. A wave of nausea overtook her, forcing her to dash outside to empty her stomach. She retched by the side of the cottage and prayed Gawain would not witness her illness.
She composed herself and looked up to the sky to measure the time by the moon’s height then retreated into cottage to return to her bed, expecting to see Gawain there. He was not. She looked to the heavy chair near the fire he often slept in on nights when she was particularly restless, but he was not there either.
The wood and peat supply was not replenished outside either, meaning he’d not returned. What if her uncle’s men had found him? Did they know where she was? Would they soon come for her as well? Her fear grew as she rocked on her bed well into the early morning hours, waiting.
* * *
James was escorted through the stone walls of MacKay House, near the northern most region of Scotland in the village of Tongue, hoping to find Fergus in a generous mood. It had been a long time and much had passed since they’d last seen one another in Edinburgh. Three months. Christ, James couldn’t even imagine what his life had been like back then.
“MacIntosh? Is that you? You look like hell, man. Come in, and feed yourself and your men.”
James entered the great hall with its ancient, Norse-inspired design and sat at the largest table he’d ever seen. Nothing in the north was small or quaint. As he took his seat, he could see concern on Fergus’s face and imagined it was because of James’s haggard appearance.
“I owe you my life, but I didn’t expect you to come all this was to claim it. What brings you here?”
Fergus didn’t waste time on pleasantries. Thank God.
“We arrived late last evening. Your house servant let us in and gave us a warm bed. Your hospitality has already been extended and I thank you for it.” James scrubbed his hand over his face. “I don’t know where to begin, but let me tell you, much has changed since we last met at Edinburgh Castle.”
James told his story. As he talked, he and drank and ate from the plentiful spread at Fergus’s table. He couldn’t remember when he’d eaten last. The tale he recounted had everyone at the table riveted, it sounded too fantastic, too impossible to be true even to his own ears. His brand new bride had been abducted a second time from right under his nose.
James struggled to tell his tale. The rage in him for having to say those words threatened to overspill like so many times in the last while. He was worn out from attempts at control, but he would do her no good any other way.
When he and Calum had returned to Linlithgow Palace, Aileana had already been taken. They scoured the palace twice and spent the next fortnight searching all of Linlithgow and Edinburgh. He could
n’t believe she could disappear without a trace. Somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind, a fleeting thought emerged that she’d gone willingly.
His initial disbelief turned to panic. Although he questioned everyone extensively, he had no doubt Gawain was responsible and cold fear swept over him at the thought of what that man would do with his beloved wife. With her, Gawain possessed James’s soul.
James recounted his interrogation with everyone at the palace that morning, including the hateful accusations he had fired at Gwen. He would never forgive himself for the blame he’d laid at her door, even though she had long since done so.
The search, into its thirteenth week, showed no prospect of locating Aileana. Overwhelming feelings of failure and despair warred with his resolve to find her. Sleep evaded him most nights and only came when he could ride no further. Calum forced him to eat, despite his lack of appetite, and he wouldn’t have ever gotten this far had it not been for his brother’s care.
“I know Gawain has her. I’m certain of it. I believe she is alive and I’ve come here to implore, beg, demand or whatever necessary for you and your clansmen to take up the search with me. I fear the longer this continues, the colder the trail becomes, and the less likely I’ll ever find her.”
Fergus nodded.
“You have it. Myself, my men, any resources we can add to your own, are yours.” Fergus’s brow furrowed. “James you’ve been keeping your search to larger centres and villages?”
“Aye, it seemed most logical.”
“Well, my friend, I’m glad you came here. I believe you’ve been going about this all wrong. Think about it. When we were involved with Gawain, he took great pains to ensure we were never out in plain view. I think your village and town searches have been wasted. He wouldn’t keep her in any location where someone could recognize her. He’d keep her somewhere remote. Somewhere she’d never be detected. Hell, I bet he even buys all his provisions at night.”
A glimmer of hope crept into James’s heart. There was only one problem.
“Scotland’s wilderness, though, is bigger than the whole of its cities, towns and villages put together. Where would we start looking for a remote dwelling?”
“Andrew! Bring me the lowland map!”
The boy jumped up to do his laird’s bidding. James remembered the last time he’d seen Andrew and Fergus together. Fergus caught James’s glance in the boy’s direction and smiled.
“The lad stayed away just long enough for me to get over the shock of losing William. He’s a smart one. He also came back just when I needed an extra pair of hands.”
“I’m sorry for your loss, Fergus. William was a good man and taken from this world far too soon.”
James noticed Fergus glance towards a dark haired woman. She dropped her gaze to her lap and Fergus looked away. She must be William’s widow, James mused.
“I thank you for your words, MacIntosh. I will avenge William’s death, if it’s the last thing I do.” Fergus frowned as the lass arose and fled the room.
Andrew returned and the table was cleared. The map was spread over the large surface and Fergus pointed to the thick forest all around that region where Gawain had grown up.
“How do you know that?” James asked.
“The rat likes to talk about himself. I asked a lot of questions, unsure if the answers would ever prove useful. Turns out they might be.”
“When can you leave?”
“Today. Get some rest. We’ll leave after the midday meal. I have some things to attend to before I go. Andrew, get everyone fit for travel, and tell Alice to pack a lot of food.”
James and his men returned to their rooms to take advantage of the additional hours to rest. When he returned to the bed chamber, it was with a lighter heart. For the first time in forever he had any hope.
As he had done so often over the past while, he fell to his knees and whispered to his wife. “I’m coming love. Hold on just a little while longer, Aileana. I promise I’ll be there soon.”
They arrived at Chattan Castle and he sought out Gwen straight away. He found her pacing in the great hall, wringing her hands. His reports to her were faithful upon his return from his sometimes lengthy searches.
He was pleased he could refer to her now as Lady Gwendolyn. He’d been in high spirits when he returned from the MacKay trial, wanting only to find Aileana and make preparations for them to go home to start their life together. He would never forget his words to Gwen when he realized Aileana was missing from the palace.
They tormented him still.
“You left her in the room with Gawain! Why would you do that? Did you wish her taken again? Maybe you know more than you are letting on! Are you working with him? Did you lead him to her? How else would he know we were here?”
Gwen had bowed her head as he fired accusations at her. Two days later, he returned, eyes burning and weary begging forgiveness for his outburst. Gwen had wanted no apology. She told him he was right and that she should have never left her lady’s side not even for a moment. He would accept nothing less than to make up for his behaviour and complete lack of trust.
Over the past three months and with the king’s assistance, he elevated her status to lady, gave her charge of Chattan Castle in his absence, and provided regular and frequent updates to her on all aspects of his search. He entered the library to find her gazing out toward the back gardens with her back to him. “Lady Gwendolyn, are you well?”
“I am well, my lord. What news have you?”
James smiled. “Good news, hopefully. MacKay and his clansmen have joined in the search and given us information that may prove useful. Tomorrow we make our way to a forested area near the town in which Gawain was raised. Fergus believes he may be holed up in a small dwelling near there.
“I seek you out to ask if you will join us. It has been three months and I have no idea what condition she will be in when we find her.”
Gwen’s eyebrows lifted.
“Aye. I believe we are that close,” he said. “I believe that’s where he has her. It makes the most sense. Will you come with us?”
“Aye my lord, of course I will come with you. Thank you, it means a great deal.”
James smiled again. They’d grown comfortable and dependent on one another in Aileana’s absence and he’d developed a sisterly regard toward her.
“My brother is here. As is Fergus Mackay and some of his men, I thought you’d want to know.”
He gave her a sympathetic smile. His brother had feelings for her and when they were together they both appeared strained. He watched Gwen square her shoulders as she gave him a curt nod.
“The evening meal should be ready shortly, my lord. I shall ensure extra places are set.”
They left the library together. As they were about to separate, he toward the solar and she toward the kitchens, they met Calum and Fergus.
Gwen spoke first to Fergus. “My lord, I welcome you to Chattan Castle and thank you for your assistance in searching for its mistress. Laird MacIntosh informs me you may have useful information. We shall be forever in your debt if it be so.”
“I am at your service,” he said. That was Fergus Mackay: a formidable foe or a devout friend. The man had no in between.
She turned toward Calum. James noticed she did not meet his brother’s eyes.
“My lord, I trust your travels find you well. The evening meal will be served soon. I will have one of the kitchen maids come and find you when it is time.”
Gwen turned to leave before he could respond which left Calum staring after her.
“Dammit, man,” Fergus said. “You act as if you’ve never seen a beautiful woman before. Stop staring before you embarrass yourself.”
James stifled the urge to laugh at Fergus’s comment and noted Gwen turned back to look at Calum. Their eyes locked for a moment and what passed between them was filled with unmistakable longing. His heart constricted.
At dawn the next morning the party set out for Peebleshire
on horseback. Gwen admitted to James travelling this way was like a dream to her. She said it made her feel alive. James hadn’t wanted the carriage to slow them and was relieved when Gwen agreed to ride instead.
At Chattan Castle, he chose a young grey mare for Gwen he had only purchased two days prior to the trip to Edinburgh and now understood to whom she should belong. It became yet another gift from James to Gwen, one accepted without hesitation. They shared a silent moment of mutual respect, affection, and hope for the return of the woman they both loved beyond measure.
James himself was in better spirits since being reunited with Arion. Fergus had returned him to James before they left MacKay House and teased when James stroked the horse’s snout. “Would you like to be alone?”
James remembered the comment and it made him smile as he stroked Arion’s thick neck. He mounted the magnificent animal and broke into a heavy gallop long before the rest had even mounted.
The party rode hard southward and followed various well worn roadways. Some were in good condition while others were no more than a footpath through thick brush. James stayed ahead of everyone else. It was difficult enough to hold his focus and he couldn’t abide idle chatter.
Late on the second day, though they made good time, he realized they wouldn’t make it to Peebles before days ‘end so needed an overnight stop. They located an inn and settled in for the evening meal.
Most of Fergus’s and James’s men went to question the patrons of the local taverns while James, Fergus, Calum and Gwen shared a much needed meal in the small, cozy room. After a while, one of Fergus’s men returned and was rather anxious.
“You’d better come hear this,” he said. “Colin has gotten himself into a bit of a ruckus with a man who claims to have seen Gawain.”
James was on his feet and out the door with Fergus following tight behind. When they located Fergus’s clansman, Colin, the man he’d been speaking with had already slipped away. Colin recounted the information he’d acquired and another spring of hope burst inside James. The man had remembered someone of Gawain’s description. It was the thin frame and twisted mouth that pegged him. James’s fist twitched in memory of the encounter. The connection was enough. He couldn’t afford to waste one precious moment.
Bound to the Highlander (The Highland Chiefs Series) Page 22
