by A. C. Bextor
“Got it, Mace. Where. IS. She?” Whoa again. He’s so tense.
“Ace, are you alright? You are acting weird.”
“Fine Mace, I’m getting bored with you though. You called me to help, so here I am to help and you want to talk about my weirdness.” He runs his hands over his tanned and tattooed bald head in exasperation.
I lead him to Sadey who seems to be mumbling now, but I can’t understand her. She’s still radiating heat from every pore and dripping in sweat.
“Grab some ibuprofen, a cold cloth, and put some new sheets on her bed. If she’s got infection lingering on the old ones the she won’t get better. I’m going to wrap her up and keep her comfortable while you do that.” Ace giving orders, as a prospect. Oh no, doesn’t fly with me.
“Nope. Promised Hem no one would see her alone during her improvised state. You run through all those tasks that you just rattled off at me, I will wait here and then we will carry her together.”
“Jesus Christ, Hem. Fucking bullheaded donkey’s butt. Okay, but don’t you leave her.”
I smile while holding Sadey because I think he just referred to my brother as an ass, politically correct way of doing so let me add.
What is wrong with him? He’s acting damn crazy! I hear deliberate noises and know that Ace is making quick work of the laundry and wet cloth.
“Alright Miss Sassy, everything for her is ready. You wanna cover her privates with your hands so I don’t fucking sneak a peek at her since she’s looking all kinds of sexy in her semi vomited state?”
“I’m sorry, Ace. I didn’t mean anything by it. You’re not a woman and you don’t understand how we want our image to remain even through illness. Don’t even act as if you can’t understand where Hem is coming from either, this is his woman and just recently so. He’s pissed he can’t be here and doesn’t want anyone else being given the opportunity to see his Sadey girl when she’s not decent. Sorry.”
“It’s fine. Let’s move this puke stain back to her room.” He half smiles at me because he knows I’m right.
Ace picks her up quickly and carries her to her room, laying her down as if she were a newborn baby. Then wrapping her up without even trying to sneak a peek or catch an accidental grope. I go back to bathroom to get the meds and cloth and come back and I pause by the door. Ace is talking to her with such gentleness now that I’m taken back.
“Sadey Bug, can you wake up for a bit so you can take something for your fever? You’re not going to get better until it breaks then you can tell us how you feel. C’mon Sadey... eyes open for me, okay?” Then he leans down putting his lips against her forehead, pausing for just a second, it looks like he’s adding this to his Sadey memory box.
I never would have guessed. The little rat bag, man whore, instigator known as Ace is in love. Problem is, he’s in love with Sadey. You can hear it in his voice. Shit, this is not good. Not good.
“She up yet? She needs to take some of this so we can break that fever.”
I act as though I’ve heard nothing but Ace looks directly at me and then knows the break in my voice is my new found knowledge and his secret is out.
I tilt my head to the side, “Ace, honey… did you hear me?”
“No, here. You do this. I need a smoke. I won’t leave till I know she’s better so holler at me when she wakes. Fuck.”
He tosses both the cloth and pills at me. Yes, he knows I know something is up. Although he didn’t tell me himself, I heard him. I heard every crack in his voice and shake in his hands. You don’t need words to be in a room with Ace when Sadey is within eyesight or hearing distance. You can hear it in the air, the traitorous sounds of someone in love.
Few minutes later, Sadey comes to for me and accepts the meds, cold water, and cold cloth. I tell her to go back to sleep and let me know if she needs anything. She asked where Hem has gone, said she felt and heard him with her earlier. I cringe, damn she thinks Ace was Hem and that’s not okay with me.
“No baby that was Ace. Hem still tied up at church tonight with the club meetings so Ace came to help me with you, you were scaring me girlfriend. You look better so I’m going to let you rest and tell Ace he has the rest of the night off, now he can go wash your puke off his cut.”
I laugh because she looks horrified, even in sickness she’s embarrassed. I give her a wink and close the bedroom door. Ace and I are going to talk and I don’t want her to hear this.
I walk to living room and kitchen, no Ace. I see his boots at the front door so I know he’s still here. Looking out the back door I can now see the cherry from his cigarette glowing as he takes a hit from it. Gathering my muster I head for the door. Ace and I don’t always agree, but now I know we have Sadey in common. It is in everyone's best interest that Ace knows where Sadey wants to be and that’s with Hem.
Opening the door to the deck I sit next to Ace on the bench.
“She’s better. Gave her some water and meds and laid the cool cloth on her head.” He says nothing to me. Just stares ahead lost in thought.
“You alright, Ace? You want to talk about something?”
He puts out his cigarette and turns his head to me. Looking sad he says, “No. What would you like to talk about, Mace?”
Unsure how fragile the ground I’m about to walk on is I carefully start to tread and say as I put my hand on his knee, “Ace, I heard you with her. People don’t usually have such endearing nicknames for those they consider just a friend, what’s up? You can tell me. I’ve known Sadey all her life and I also know she’s oblivious to anyone who may find her attractive.”
“Really, Mace? You want to talk to me about this? Cause I’m pretty certain this violates about a thousand codes. Friends’ code, brother code, Club code, fuckin’ pick one. All are equal to me not being able to talk to anyone right now. I’m glad she’s okay. She scared me a bit. When you called and told me she was sick, I just thought maybe Sadey was being Sadey. Maybe overdramatizing and faking for some attention since Hem has been so caught up in finding Switch.”
“What? Switch still underground hiding? Shit.” I lost focus.
“Yes.” He stares ahead and I’m coming to a loss for words, but thinking about how it felt to have to watch Shame for so long I really can understand how Ace is feeling so I’m trying to help without breaking any ‘codes’.
“Ace, ya know it’s okay to have feelings for someone even though they don’t return those feelings. I know first-hand how hard it is, but it isn’t impossible to move on from them.”
“Mace, I would be all sorts of killed for saying this to you. I know you don’t like me so it wouldn’t break your heart if I were out of the club or in the hospital due to injuries caused from Hem or Shame. I don’t just have feelings for her. I think I’m in love with her.”
Oh shit!
“I’m telling you that I know I’m in love with her. That night you found us in her car outside the Club, that wasn’t the only time she and I had been together. Sure we messed around before, but I tried to tell her several times how interested I was in being with her. I was an idiot because I went about it all wrong. I was so confused because I have never had any feelings like these come to the surface, Mace. When she’s around it is as if my life has never been shit. I never felt lost and I certainly never felt alone. Sadey makes me laugh, no one makes me laugh, no one. She doesn’t do anything to draw me to her, it’s just something that comes naturally. Aside from being freaked the fuck out about these remote feelings, then she tries to sleep with me, giving me her ‘V Card’ that night, as you put it. That has to mean something, doesn’t it? Before Hem finally pulled his big head out of his ass, I think there was something between us. Then he swoops in and she’s gone from me, just like that. I don’t ever see her anymore, or talk to her. I miss her and our friendship. Problem is, although her feelings for me changed because of Hem, I still feel the same for her. I just don’t know what to do. The Club is my life. I’m not patched in but soon I hope to be. I’m unsure I can do that
now, seeing them together all the time and him touching her and hearing her talk to him it just makes me crazy. I want to be that for her and now I can’t. I’m such an idiot.” His voice cracks and my heart cracks for him.
“I’m so sorry, Ace. You can trust me with this though. I am here to listen when you need me, okay? I have to tell you, I have misjudged you. I won’t lie, I wanted to kick your ass from here to Sunday for some of the things you said about Sadey and wanting to bag and tag her but here you are, admitting your feelings for her, your real feelings and I just want you to know I’m sorry for what a bitch I can be.”
He stands, collecting his cigarettes and lighter from the bench and he looks so sad. “I’m sorry I was an ass. Tell her I was here and I said to take care of herself. If you need anything while Shame is away this week, just call okay?”
Did I just hear him right? Shame’s leaving and I’m hearing about it from Ace, although now knowing he’s a decent guy, he’s still a prospect. I’m irked. Glad I’m under darkness so I can just let him believe I already knew.
“Take care, Ace and thanks again for the help and also the talk.”
“Yeah well, don’t expect me to get all soggy and mushy again like you chicks get. One time shot because she scared the shit outta me.” He smiles and starts to turn away.
“Ace, believe this or not, I will see you soggy and mushy again. I’m counting on it. Now get outta here and go protect that barstool of yours, wouldn’t want one of the newer prospects moving in on your familiar territory.” He laughs at that, good to hear him laugh.
“I’m going to stop in and just check on her again, if that’s alright with you?”
“Yes, but umm don’t... well just stay...uh... you know...”
“Ok mother, I hear you again loud and clear. No touching!”
With that he closes the door and heads inside, leaving me to wonder how I could have missed his feelings for her and also wondering how the hell to keep that from Hem. Hem is a romantic and they can spot each other out from miles away. Oye.
Chapter Ten:
“This was the price you paid for sleeping together. This was the end of the trap. This was what people got for loving each other.”
--Ernest Hemingway
Today has started as shit. I mean, from the moment I opened my eyes I’ve been asking for a bad day. I have to believe it can get better from here though.
It is my first day at my new job. I got a callback from the local library here in town, which is good because the commute time is short and this allows me to sleep longer in the mornings. It has already been established that Mace likes to sleep and Mace without enough sleep is a bad idea in every aspect. They called me after a few days after I had interviewed me and told me I had the job if I wanted it. However now, today of all days, I’ve overslept. Thank goodness I talked Shame into letting me sleep at home last night alone so that I could read over the material for today. I was up late cramming with information about the library layout, history, owners, and future opportunities. I want to be well ready and prepared for anything they may throw at me but come, on it’s a library job how hard could this be really? Most people no longer even go to an actual library since the click from home is so much easier, oh our lazy society. I’m one of those people who has an appreciation for books though. You know those people when you see us. We like the old fashion, hold it in my hands, and check it in and out kind of books. This makes me the stereotypical book nerd, I just don’t care though.
Today, I don’t care about much really. I’m pissed I woke up late and now I’m going to be walking in there looking like a hot mess. I didn’t even get lucky last night before leaving a pouty Shame, so I have nothing good to show for this late arrival. Maybe they won’t even notice, I could be over reacting. Lack of sleep causes things to become out of focus for me.
After getting myself and all of my stuff together, I head to the kitchen to see that both Hem and Sadey are sitting at the table with coffee, looking uncomfortable just being around one another. They are not sitting close (or more accurately, Sadey isn’t sitting on Hem’s lap) and there's obvious tension in the room, I can feel it. Hem won’t look at me and Sadey looks lost in thought. I make it to the coffee pot without a word being said from either of them and I’m not exactly in the mood to throw some cheer at the situation since I’m already late.
Pouring myself a cup of coffee to go along with me and grabbing my lunchbox from the fridge, I am wanting to escape the quiet of this room so I turn to head out the door. Before I make it there though I take a quick pause, and I stop in front of Sadey.
Hem is a brute. He has about him a tendency to be very dark and moody when he is stressed or feels pressured. Right now, he’s testing Sadey. Pushing her buttons, maybe because things at the club are starting to feel a little out of control due to the upcoming party tonight. So sensing Hem’s obvious mood, I lean into her and hug her tight around her shoulders as she sits, and I am balancing my lunchbox and coffee with the same arm. She doesn’t respond but I hear her take in a quick breath and release it so I know she’s not unaffected by my obvious support. Hem doesn’t miss it as he shoots me a glare and as I glance at him I can tell that my big brother appears to be in full pout mode, I scoff in his direction. It isn’t fair to me to side with Sadey without knowing what is really going on but I’m a woman and it just happens to be that we live by our own codes, that being we believe hoes before bros.
Suffer Hem, you overgrown baby, it won’t kill you. With this, I turn to leave.
The short commute to work is easy, I love that I’m just three minutes away. During that short drive I have practiced a fake smile and when I look at the clock to see that although technically I’m not late, I still only have about three full minutes to spare. I try to let go of this rough morning, hoping this day will only get better.
Walking into the library I’m reminded about how excited I was when I got the job offer and accepted it earlier this week. I love this place. It has an almost historical ambiance to it. I stand by the door looking for anyone to greet me. The door was open so I know someone is here. Hours of operation don’t begin for another hour but we have to prep the books and get late slips ready before doors open so we know who and what to expect for our day.
“Hello there, you must be Mace. Can you lock the door behind you for me so customers who don’t bother to take instruction don’t bust in on us during prep? I’m so excited to meet you. Small town and all but we haven’t met yet, have we? I’m Peyton. My grandparents still own this joint so maybe you met Gramma during your interviews. She’s the one who told me all about you, adding how you’ve just finished college and majored in English Literature. Sounds like you are certainly a perfect fit for us here! She will be along later, she goes to see Grandpa in the home every single day on her way in so she usually rolls up about 10 o’clock or so. I’m here every morning at 8 o’clock. We can chat a bit before delving into what you will be doing. I’ve been here for about two years. I used to live in Virginia with my mom, but I came out here to live with Gramma when Grandpa started failing and now, two years later look at me cause I’m still here.”
Dear lord this little blond bombshell just doesn’t shut up. It’s so friggin early too. “So, do you have coffee here or should I plan to bring my own going forward? I usually keep drinking it until about noon.”
I’m trying to steer clear of touchy feely get to know me talk so early in the damn morning. Especially after the morning I just had.
“Yep, Gramma makes it though and hold onto your ponytail girlfriend because it is S-T-R-O-N-G.” She spells it out for additional effect.
“No problem, maybe Gramma is onto something there. Back to your inquiry, no I don’t think we have met. If you don’t mind me asking you this, how old are you? You look so young so if you tell me that you are older than I am I won’t be happy about it so tread carefully since I’ve just had this cup of coffee yet today.”
I smile as I talk to her, still though if
she comes at me with an age older than I, I’m going to have to excuse myself to gag in private.
“Well, technically I’m 19. My fake ID though has me at 21. You don’t get to tell Gramma about that either. I keep pretty low key when I go to ‘Shell Horns’ on Saturday nights, you know that club right off Third Ave? They have live bands that are to D-I-E for. So I guard that little gem with my life and I’m willing to cut someone who threatens to have me part with it. I consider it a key to a whole other world outside Grammas compound that she calls our house.”
She’s smiling now too but I can see she’s an ornery little shit. I like her though and in her own way she reminds me of Sadey, which will make me love my job.
“Alright I get it, you’re 21 outside these door but you’re 19 in front of Gramma.” I roll my eyes and set my purse down on her desk since I don’t know where I’m going to be stationed.
“Mace, ya know, now that I think about it I know we’ve never met but umm, if I remember something right, you are related to that hunky man that drives that big bike around here. What’s his name again? Hine, Haem, wait...”
I’m going to help her out, the wheel is still spinning but the hamster is dead. “It’s Hem honey and yes, that’s my big brother. He’s hard to miss but once you get to know him he is nothing like he appears to be.”
“Damn the man is fine. F-I-N-E in that dirty boy kind of way. I would love a chance at something that tall, dark, and dangerous.”
Enter yet another eye roll, throw in a gag this time too. All my life people want to discuss my brothers apparent sex appeal, I’m his sister people, clue the hell in. I’m surprised I have any sex drive with as many questions as I have always had to answer about my brother.
Let me just cut this shit off right now because if she asks me for his name, number, address, social security information, favorite smell.. you get it.
“Honey, I gotta tell ya right now, he’s taken. Off the market, sorry buddy. He’s with my best friend, Sadey. They were meant to be together since we were kids. They are happy now, still adjusting but I think every relationship continues to progress in some way.” I’ve probably misspoke because she doesn’t understand relationships, just a guess.
