by Alice Moore
“Is that any way to talk to your mother?” Widening at the annoyed snap, my eyes stung from the harsh breeze before my mother sighed heavily. “I need to talk to you.”
Forcefully my mother pushed her way past me, and I sucked in a sharp breath full of her pretty, floral perfume. Her heels clicked hard against my floors, the sound echoing between my ears as I slowly reached for the door. Clenching my jaw tightly, I balled my free hand into a fist as I twisted. My front door slammed hard enough to shudder the house, and I sent a silent apology to my Albanian neighbors before storming towards the kitchen.
“Tell me what you want or I’m calling the cops!” The night before drifted into a dark, deep part of my mind as irritation ravaged its way through my brain. My declaration was loud, and Anna stiffened in her nice, baby blue coat. Turning to me, she huffed and puffed in an attempt to stall until I reached for a house phone I had never even touched since setting it up.
“Okay! I need to borrow $3,000. I can’t afford my rent, and I know you have plenty in savings. I’ll pay you back, but I’m already a month behind.” At the request my brain short-circuited, and I stared stupidly at my mom with my arm outstretched towards the counter. She just stood there expectantly, with a self-righteous look on her face, and three seconds ticked by like hours before I barked out a laugh.
Incredulous cackling flowed out of me, squeezing the air from my lungs and straining my heart. My legs wobbled, and I fell back into a chair to clutch my belly. Only faintly did I hear thumping on the stairs, and I struggled to breathe while mirth closed my throat.
By the time Martin reached my fading peripheral vision I wasn’t even making noise anymore, and I flailed my arms. Wordlessly he reached over, tapping my chin to force my mouth closed. My jaw refused to obey, but instead of wheezing I gulped down air desperately and slumped back into the chair.
“Oh- oh God… oh-h-h God. I- I can’t… it hurts-“ Sputtering weakly, I swiped the tears from my eyes as Martin watched me with deep creases between his brows.
“Do I even want to know?” His muscles rippled when he jerked his chin towards my mother, but I couldn’t get an answer out when Cynthia sidled up to him. She was red, panting, and a merriment danced in her eyes as she gently bumped her hip against his.
“Anna asked for money because she can’t afford her lifestyle.” My best friend’s giggle threatened to send me into another episode, and I shook my head hard with a big sigh. Turning back to my mother, I narrowed my eyes on her shrewd expression under the red embarrassment stained on her face.
“I’ll never, ever- ever lend you money.” A frown painted my face, and just like that my hysterics were forgotten. Maybe it’s because I’m one day pregnant. Mood swings… “You aren’t my problem. In case you forgot, I’m the daughter, and you are the mom…”
“I told you I’ll pay you back, Marishka. You really hate me so much you’d let me go homeless?” Rolling my eyes at the notion, I caught sight of my own thoughts flittering across Cynthia’s face.
“You’ll never pay me back. You have no way to pay me back, Mom. What- you think I’m going to wait until you get a new boy toy? No- I’m not going through that again. And for the record- yes. I do hate you so much I’d let you be homeless. I hate you so much I’ve been agonizing over how to cut you out of my life for good for nearly a decade. Cynthia’s mom was there when I first got my period- when I broke my ankle- when I got drunk for the first time. She’s more of a mom than you ever were.”
The more I spoke of Cynthia’s sweet as sin mother the more infuriated my own mom became. She’d always hated Claudia, and I knew it was because Claudia was a good person. Everyone loved her, and Anna couldn’t stand that. Smirking at the dark, angry red that washed over my mom’s features, the peach hairs on my face stood up in anticipation
“You ungrateful, little bitch- I gave up my life for you! I didn’t even want you, and look at what you turned me into! Don’t act so high and mighty because you’re a mistake- even your own father didn’t want you, so he dumped you on me.” Slowly my smirk fell, and my mom scoffed as she flipped her bangs out of her eyes to glare at me. “I should’ve put you in a dumpster. I gave you an ugly name, and now look at you- the most desired person in every room you walk into. I shoved your ass into the street, and your friend saved you. What’s so special about you, anyway? You’re beautiful! Nothing more, and everything less!”
Vindictiveness and envy twisted and warped my mother’s voice into a deep growl, and hearing it sent a spear of pain into my chest. My nails dug into my palm, and I closed my surprisingly dry eyes to take a deep, steadying breath. The force of her rant made my mom pant softly, and I counted to four before cracking open my eyelids.
Rearing back my arm, I aimed for her face only for my fist to be encompassed by a large, warm hand. Whirling around, a tremble slid down my spine as I took in William’s grave expression with wide eyes. Pulling my arm taut, his grip was tight, and his orbs crackled dangerously. Twisting into a grimace, my lips thinned out as I worked the tense muscles in my hand to release my fist, and only then did he let me go.
I didn’t even know what to do anymore with this unexpected development, but the itch in my knuckles didn’t die down even a twinge.
“Hi- yeah- police? I have a trespasser that’s refusing to leave and threatening my housemate…”
Chapter Fourteen: William
“How much did you hear?” The house was a deathly kind of quiet after Anna fled, scared from Cynthia’s fake 911 call, and Risha’s voice crackled harshly. No one dared move, and I focused my gaze on Risha as she stared down at the floor where her mother had just stood. Tension thrummed through me, knocking my heart out of rhythm with the recollection of what I’d just witnessed.
“I heard you tell her to spit it out or you’ll call the police… and everything after that.” Any peacefulness of sleep had left me when I heard the front door slamming, but I couldn’t keep the gravel from my voice. I had nearly let Risha physically assault her mother; if that happened, she’d get sued for more than $3,000, though. Before me Risha swayed, as if my words were a physical blow, and I chanced a glance at the couple standing in the archway.
Cynthia looked pale, clammy- ready to pass out, and Martin had a firm hold on her. He obviously didn’t know about this relationship yet, but the disgust leaking from his pores was thick and clear. Slowly turning back to Risha, I sighed through my nose before reaching for her still, slack form.
“Let’s go to my h-“
“No.” Ripping herself from my grasp, Risha snapped her teeth like a dog to swing her white-knuckle fist in my direction. Her punch was weak against my bicep; it wouldn’t even bruise, but it was her blood-curdling cry that made me recoil. “Fuck! Fuck- fuck- fuck- fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”
Banging her fists on my chest, Risha wailed hoarsely to rattle my ribs, and I kept my hands at my sides. Being a man meant picking my battles, and this one I would gladly lose. There were no tears, no snot- only years of pent up anger and degradation being unleashed in one violent fury.
“Will she be okay?” Martin’s murmur went unbeknownst to Risha, and she continued to beat of me with the strength of one of her stuffed dinosaurs. Her attempts were almost pathetic, but I kept my lips firmly sealed.
“Yeah. She’s wanted to punch Anna ever since the first of the old bitch’s boyfriends came after her. She knows Anna doesn’t care about her. Nothing’s changed.” How could I ever have made a mistake like Anna? The question beat against my eye sockets as Cynthia answered Martin, and my hands jumped into action. Cupping the back of Risha’s head, I pulled her roughly to my chest and wrapped my arm around her back. Her struggling was punctuated by grunts and soft shrieks, and she scratched at my waist, but she appeared to be all bark and no bite.
“Why did you stop me? How could you?” Crackling harshly, Risha’s voice gyrated against my ear drums as she paused her writhing. Her body didn’t shake, and I carefully slid my palm to her cheek to stroke the soft flesh. Aga
inst my own her chest heaved, her eyelashes tickling my sternum as she gradually gained control of herself.
“You shouldn’t waste your time on her, baby girl. Christmas is next week, and I don’t want to give you your present in a courthouse.” Risha’s clawing paused, her breath hitching softly, and I glanced down at her crown of frizzy, brown waves. “I spent some time picking it out, but it’d lose its appeal if it was anywhere but under a tree.”
“Did you really get me something?” Big, sparkling brown eyes gazed up at me, and a smile picked up the corners of my mouth at how small Risha sounded.
“Yes. But you can’t have it if you’re in the slammer, baby girl.” Chuckling as she huffed a laugh, I let my mind wander for just a moment. Risha wanted it all- kids, a dog, a big back yard- and it’d taken me a lot of time to figure out where to start. “So, now that you’re not physically violent, is there anything you need?”
“Some wine and a really nice bubble bath would be fantastic.” Her grumble earned her a squeeze, and I ducked to kiss her lips. Satisfaction ripped through my chest at the very idea that, this time, I had to spend money on Risha. She deserved it, but more than that- I wanted to spend money on her. She wouldn’t ask for anything ridiculous, if anything at all.
And knowing I was about to drop a grand and a half had never felt so good.
It took some convincing, but eventually Risha was persuaded into a spa day by Cynthia. We even swung by Nash’s to pick up Natalie when it was decided that two girls just weren’t enough. They would take care of her, I knew, but more importantly they’d give her something I couldn’t.
Sitting on Nash’s couch with a glass of whiskey in my hand, I swirled the ice absently before opening my mouth.
“I just never realized a parent could be so jealous- so spiteful- of her daughter before. I mean, I knew they didn’t like each other, but that was in a whole other level.” After receiving a run-down of the situation, Nash listened to my troubles while Martin gave off an affirmative grunt every so often. The actor had been hit hard by what he saw, and that was simply due to inexperience. Even though he and Nash were close in age, Martin hadn’t seen much domestic abuse before.
“I get it, though… if I had a daughter I didn’t want but was, for whatever reason, forced to raise, and she looked like Risha, acted like Risha, I would hate her too. That’s the part that confuses me- why did Anna not just leave Risha at a hospital or something if she really didn’t want her that much?” Even when they weren’t around, our women were all we could talk about, and I groaned at the question. Glancing down at my glass, I pursed my lips before reminding myself it wasn’t even 9a.m. yet.
“I think she’s lying about that.” Speaking actual words, Martin necked his water bottle and cleared his throat before continuing. “I bet she did want Risha until she realized how much work it was, and then it was too late. No one ever tells you how hard it is to raise a kid. My mom told me once that having kids is a thankless, payless, stressful job that never ends. I would bet money that whoever Risha’s father is, he’s rich as fuck and that’s why Anna does what she does.”
“Since we’re on the subject, Kevin showed up here three nights ago saying Luca put all his shit on the street for no apparent reason.” Reaching to comb through my beard at the change of topic, I leaned to set my glass on the coffee table with a frown. “Kevin is my nephew- Luca is my brother, by the way.”
“I regret letting him go.” Twisting to watch Frank stalk into the living room, I snatched my own water bottle from the table with a chuckle. This morning was turning into an episode of ‘Lonely and Lost’, and no one even seemed to mind.
Granted, Frank wasn’t in a relationship, but the details didn’t matter.
“Yeah, well… he disappeared again, I guess. Kevin bunked at my place until I got in touch with his college dorm supervisor and explained, so he’s off to San Jose now. I just gave him the present his parents were going to give him. Julia doesn’t need any more stress. 10 grand isn’t a lot for me, but it is for her. Good thing she knows how to budget.”
“Do we have something to talk about that’s not depressing?” Silence met my question, and I could hear the crickets chirping throughout the living room. Shaking my head, I heaved a sigh as I raked my mind for anything to discuss. Lately so much of my focus had been on Risha that it was hard to get away from her.
“We can watch football reruns…” Speaking up into the quiet living room, Martin drew all eyes to him only to shoot us a dirty look. “It’s just a suggestion. I missed a few games.”
“I’m not a fan of football.” Nash’s response pulled a grunt of agreement from me, but in the time it took me to blink he was reaching for the remote. “Fuck it. I don’t want to talk about my family problems right now.”
“What are we doing for Christmas- you know, since we usually go over Luca’s house, and we can’t do that this year…?” Posing my question as Nash scrolled through post season games, I relaxed into the sofa to cross my legs ankle over knee. Risha and Cynthia didn’t decorate their house, and Nash didn’t usually know when Christmas was until it was long over. Next to me he shrugged carelessly, blandly staring at the television with his elbow propped on his knee and chin in hand.
“Nat says she’s going to decorate, get tree- bake… So, I guess it’ll be here. Why?” He sounded totally disinterested, and I took a swig of my water before offering a reply.
“I was just wondering. I’ve spent Christmas with you since you were… what- 3 years old? Seems bad to just let it go because Luca is trying to land his ass in jail.”
“It’ll be different this year for sure. Nat’s friend Brena will be here, and my parents will be here for a week next Monday. Plus there’s me, Nat, Frank, you, Martin, this Cynthia chick, and Risha. Oh- and Nick. Nick will be staying here a few days to scope sites for his branch office.” Nash’s reply was long, drawn out, and I silently thanked any deity that would listen that I wasn’t dealing with all of that. “Supposedly him and his brothers are going to open a financial firm. Although I couldn’t guess how they think a firm can handle three related council members. Nick is great with sweet talking deals, but everyone knows you can’t sweet talk family.”
The idle chat was nice, boring, and I nodded absently as my mind pictured the man in question. Nick was a good man, having built his business before he even graduated high school to grow it into a billion-dollar corporation before he reached 30 years old. Only older than Nash by a few years, he sat in the middle between a military-man older brother and a younger brother that supposedly just rode his success.
Just thinking of the complexities of running a business with family caused a headache to spring to my eyes, and I shook my head roughly to clear it away.
“I hate that cunt. Gets on my fucking nerves trying to pry open my black box.” Frank’s scowl could curdle milk, and he clenched and released his hands as if he could already feel flesh in his palms. Watching the annoyance play on his face, my eyes narrowed into fine points before I decided not to delve any deeper.
“Who- James? Yeah- I’m not a fan of him either. He always looks like someone pissed in his cereal. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him crack a smile. But-“
“This one- this is the game I missed.” Breaking into our conversation, Martin reached to snatch the controller from Nash like a little kid would. The action sent a laugh from my chest, and he ran his hand through his hair animatedly. “I seriously have no idea who you’re talking about, and you don’t watch football. Win-win.”
Chapter Fifteen: Risha
“It’s beautiful, Natalie… you did an amazing job.” Gazing around at the picture-perfect display, I clutched the straps of my gift bag tightly while my heart thundered in my chest. Twinkling, white lights filled the living room as they blazed from a full, healthy Christmas tree, and there were already presents stacked underneath it. Ornaments sparkled, and little accent pieces lined the mantles and coffee table.
I had never been in a room with so m
uch festivity.
“Thanks. I’m so glad you like it. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to decorate when there’s no alcohol involved, though. I had to suffer with grape juice and pretend it was wine.” Giggling at her disgruntled tone, I shook my head even as my chest tightened in sympathy. I hadn’t drunk alcohol in nearly two weeks, and I was already missing it. Not that I’m an alcoholic, but still…
Keeping my lack of casual drinking a secret had been hard; Cynthia and I replaced all of the regular wine with non-alcoholic wine, but kept all of the regular labels. William and I didn’t eat out, so I didn’t have to worry about him being suspicious of my lack of taste. Smiling when Natalie winked at me, I held out my bag for her before William’s stomping behind rattled the entryway.
Following her into the living room, I glanced behind me to make sure no one could hear us before whispering quietly.
“Did you get the thing?” Excitement whizzed through my veins when Natalie nodded, and she stealthily passed me a neatly wrapped, smallish box. William’s name was on the tag, but I couldn’t keep it at my house. My fear that he’d find it was too great, and I slid the long, thin package into my bag before Natalie spoke up.
“You got this, girl.”
Cynthia’s multitude of presents were stacked just behind the tree, all the same size and with the same wrapping. Setting my bag next to them, Natalie rubbed the small of her back as my eyes settled on her bump. Her fashionable, light gray sweater couldn’t hide her growing roundness, and I clenched my hands into fists at my side to stop from touching my own belly. I only had to wait a few short hours.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I need to steal you for a moment, baby girl.” Nash’s home was a buzz of activity, and I didn’t even notice William coming up behind me until he wrapped his hands around my waist. Waving us off easily, Natalie eased herself into the recliner with a sigh before I twisted to look up at him expectantly. “Come on.”
