by Harris, Noah
They would create a better world for them, and their children, Johnny swore it.
Ash
He’d known that leaving Kell behind was going to be hard, but Ash hadn’t realized how hard it would be until they reached the moment of leaving. Johnny and Kell were having their last words together before Ash and Johnny finally left. Ash couldn’t see or hear what they were saying, but he didn’t have to, he could feel them.
The connection between the three of them had been amazing at first, something Ash had never experienced or ever thought he would experience. Kell’s magic had bound the three of them together on a level that went far deeper than anything Ash had ever heard of. Their emotions and thoughts were broadcast on a wavelength that connected on a deeply subconscious level.
Alternating waves of heartache and warmth passed through the back of Ash’s mind. The emotions were both foreign but comforting, his heart instinctively aware that he was sensing the thoughts and feelings of his partners. The emotions built upon his own pain, and he closed his eyes to keep himself calm.
Ash never noticed Maya sidling up next to him, until she stood at his side. Startled, he glanced at the WoodWard, seeing that she was watching Johnny and Kell as well. Despite the look of sympathy on her face, Ash would swear there was still the faint air of amusement around her. The only time he’d seen that playful aura disappear had been when she’d struck down the Vigil members the previous fall.
“Not going to have your own tearful goodbye?” Maya asked.
Ash ducked his head, hiding his face. “They’ve never been my strong suit.”
“It’s harder to walk away when you keep looking back,” Maya answered.
Ash eyed Johnny and Kell. “Seems to be working out for them.”
Maya chuckled. “Johnny enjoys pulling the bandage off slowly, part of him almost relishing in the pain. That man still seems to believe he needs to punish himself for the wrong he thinks he’s done.”
Ash grunted. “He’s always…taken on too much. Even when we were kids, he took responsibility for the mischief we got into before I could be the one blamed. Sometimes, even if it was my idea, he would take credit, letting himself be the one who took the worst of the punishment. You really think he’s trying to punish himself?”
Maya hummed thoughtfully. “Perhaps not when he was young, though who knows, even children may believe themselves wrong and worth punishing, even when it’s undeserved. But it’s obvious, to me, that he blames himself for the pain Kell is going through, and while he’s doing what’s necessary to solve this problem, he’s going to make himself suffer the whole way through.”
“I hope that’s not the case,” Ash said softly.
“And you?” Maya asked.
Ash blinked. “Me? I don’t feel like I need to be punished if that’s what you’re asking.”
“No, but you feel it’s your responsibility to solve this little mess. Both of you suffer from a heaping dose of misplaced responsibility and nobility. You both need to watch that, or you’ll find yourselves in worse trouble than you are now,” Maya warned.
Ash drew himself up straight. “We’re smart enough to not get in over our heads.”
Maya smirked. “If you don’t already think you’re in over your head, then you’re in more trouble than I thought. I can promise that I and the other Wardens will make sure to keep an eye on Kell. I cannot extend that same promise to the both of you. You and Johnny will be responsible for yourselves and one another, don’t let your fits of gallantry blind you to danger.”
He couldn’t tell if she was trying to warn him about something specific or if it was a general pearl of wisdom. He knew Johnny could be a little impulsive, and that he himself, when riled, wasn’t much better. Yet, he believed they had the sense to know when to run and when to fight.
“We know what we’re fighting for, and what we have to come home to,” Ash told her.
Maya nodded. “Keep that in mind, while you’re out there.”
Ash watched as Johnny and Kell talked, his heart squeezing in his chest. From the moment they’d started to talk, their hands had never left one another. Neither man seemed willing to let go of the other while they spoke softly. Kell’s eyes were swimming with unshed tears, and Ash thought Johnny wasn’t that far behind. The love the two men shared for one another was obvious, and he considered himself lucky to be included.
Over the months of being with them, spending his time and investing his heart in theirs, Ash had found a place he could truly call home. The bond between the three of them was more than just the psychic and spiritual one Kell had accidentally forged. The three were bonded through their shared experiences, and their shared dreams of the future. It was exactly what he and Johnny were leaving to protect, and what they hoped to maintain.
“I don’t think we’ll forget,” Ash whispered.
Finally, Johnny seemed to force himself away from Kell, taking a single step back. Kell’s hands lingered on Johnny’s arm before he, too, took a step back. It seemed to take more effort than the simple actions would have normally. In the final second, Ash watched as Johnny’s fingers lingered on Kell’s face, before finally drawing away completely. Without another word, Johnny turned, walking toward Ash and then passed him, going into the woods where he would wait.
“It seems you’re going to have your goodbye anyway,” Maya said, walking away with a small wink.
Kell made his way down to Ash, moving carefully along the uneven ground. Ash’s throat tightened as Kell looked up at him, his mouth trembling as he reached for Ash’s hand. Without hesitating, Ash took the man’s offered hand, squeezing his fingers gently.
Kell took a deep breath. “I know you don’t want to go through a long goodbye.”
“I just don’t know what to say,” Ash said quickly.
Kell’s smile trembled. “It’s okay, you don’t have to have some wonderful, perfect speech prepared, Ash. The past several months with you have been wonderful, perfect in their own way. I know Johnny feels the same, and I’m happy to be carrying your child. I just want you both to come back, in one piece.”
Ash curled a hand around the back of Kell’s head, massaging gently. “We’re not going on a suicide mission Kell. We’re going out on one hell of a difficult task, but we’re not going out to die. We’re going to fight to make this world cooperate, get its head on straight, and fix itself. If we have to yell at some people, knock some heads together, and make a mess to do it, then that’s what we’re going to do. But we’re not going to be stupid and get ourselves killed in the process.”
Kell chuckled. “God, you really are Johnny’s best friend and boy do I have a type, because he said almost the same thing to me.”
“Great minds,” Ash began.
Kell snorted. “Have a tendency to get themselves killed over what they think is a great idea.”
Ash smiled. “No, we’re going to get the road cleared so you can come in and help us when the time is right. This isn’t going to be something we do overnight, and it’s going to require you sometime in the future. We’ll need you out there, the world will need you out there.”
Kell shook his head, bottom lip trembling again. “You two shouldn’t have to be the ones to do this.”
“There’s a lot of things in this world that we shouldn’t have to do,” Ash reminded him.
Kell closed his eyes, reciting the familiar words. “But we do them anyway.”
“You be good for them,” Ash continued, giving Kell’s head a little shake.
Kell’s chuckle sounded forced. “I can’t promise anything. You and I both know I struggle with sitting still for too long.”
Even while on the cusp of giving birth, Kell was never able to stay in one place for too long. The man was used to being unfettered and the restriction of the pregnancy was probably the greatest source of frustration for him. Ash wished he could be there when Kell was finally free to walk as he pleased, roaming the forest and lake in the mountains.
“
God,” Ash whispered, closing his eyes.
They’d never been away from each other for longer than half a day ever since they’d come to Maya’s retreat in the mountains. They would miss the final days of Kell’s pregnancy, and another pang of guilt shot through Ash at the thought.
“I’m so sorry,” Ash said, voice choked.
Kell shook his head vehemently. “Don’t you do that. Don’t you start feeling guilty. You’re doing what you think is right, and hell, I know it’s the right thing to do, I just don’t have to like it.”
“I don’t think any of us do,” Ash said sorrowfully.
Kell stared intensely at him, warm brown eyes still swimming with unshed tears. “And we’re going to tell our children that we did it for them, and for the world they’re growing up in. So you get out there, you watch Johnny’s back and let him watch yours, and you kick all the ass you need to.”
Ash kissed him then, drawing Kell close and feeling the press of his swollen stomach against him. Kell’s lip still trembled but he returned the kiss with equal vigor. All the things Ash couldn’t find the words to say, he hoped he was able to put into that one last desperate kiss. His heart broke once again as he pulled away, stopping when he felt something tap against him.
Looking down, he realized he’d been kicked by one of the twins. His eyes burned as a tear escaped, and Ash lay his hands upon Kell’s stomach. Just as he struggled to find the words to say goodbye to Kell, he had no idea what to say to the children he was leaving behind as well. Mentally, he swore to them he would bring Johnny back with him, and that he’d do whatever it took to protect them all.
Kell’s smile was heartbreaking as he stroked Ash’s cheek. “Go, and know that I love you.”
“I love you too,” Ash whispered fiercely.
And just as Johnny had, Ash forced himself to spin on his heel and walk away from Kell. He broke through the trees and waited until he was out of sight before he allowed himself to stop. Ash took a deep breath, leaning against one of the trees and forcing himself to think straight once more.
“Focus, you’ll be back,” Ash told himself.
Feeling steady enough, he strode on into the shadows of the forest to meet up with Johnny so they could continue on.
* * *
“Are you sure you’re reading it right?” Ash asked.
Beside him in the cab of the truck they’d “borrowed,” Johnny turned a large paper map another ninety degrees. Ash had only glanced at him, smiling as he watched Johnny’s brow furrow in concentration. He found it amusing that his best friend could quickly locate an isolated truck, disable its security system, and hotwire it with only a swiss army knife, but reading a map was beyond him.
“This is exactly why humans decided GPS maps were the way to go,” Johnny grunted.
Ash snickered, motioning to the backdrop of the city they were approaching. “You can probably just put the thing away. It’s not as if we can’t find our way from here, the buildings are a pretty noticeable landmark.”
Disgusted, Johnny shoved the map onto the floor. “Honestly, I don’t understand how reading a map is so complicated. We should have been there hours ago and now we’re behind schedule.”
“Did Maya have more information on our contact than just ‘Earl the Shaman’,” Ash asked.
Johnny sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “No, just that this Earl is apparently sympathetic enough to our cause to be a good place to start.”
“I’m not used to werewolves in the heart of the city, especially shamans,” Ash said.
Johnny snorted. “You’d be surprised, there are oddballs in every family. Some wolves never quite get over their time spent in human cities, feeling more comfortable there than they ever have in the forest. And I know shamans have that whole ‘spiritual wise leader’ reputation to the Coven but that’s just a lot of smoke and mirrors. Most of the shamans I ever met were doddering old men who mumbled to themselves and called it conversing with the spirits.”
Ash grinned. “Don’t they take a lot of drugs before they start ‘communing’?”
Johnny raised a brow, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Trust me, if you took only a part of what some of those shamans have stocked up, you’d see spirits too.”
Ash laughed, more to cover his relief than because of any amusement at the joke. It was the first lighthearted comment Johnny had made since they’d left the mountaintop retreat. The walk through the woods to nearby human civilization had been mostly silent, with Ash speaking occasionally to guide them through the forest. Johnny had taken the lead once they’d reached the parking lot outside a quiet apartment complex, silently getting to work on obtaining a vehicle.
“We should stop by a chain store so I can pick up a phone,” Johnny said.
Ash smirked. “Barely back to civilization and you’re already fiending for a phone.”
Johnny rolled his eyes. “Every single contact and resource I possess requires the use of a phone to utilize. If you want to be essentially naked while we try to do this, then I can simply forgo the phone and let you take lead.”
It could have been a snarky comment, but Ash could read the underlying tone of teasing in Johnny’s voice. Ash wasn’t exactly ignorant when it came to working in the human world. The one notable advantage witches commonly had over werewolves was their willingness to live and work with humans. Johnny was, in the commonly held belief of the Coven, an odd werewolf in that he was exceptionally knowledgeable of the human world despite technically having been a member of the Pack. Even more so, Johnny had existed on the edge of society long enough that he’d adapted to living and hiding in cities, positively excelling at it.
“If we relied on me to get us through the city or to find us supplies, we’d probably be only slightly better off than relying on you to read a map,” Ash teased.
Johnny looked like he was fighting a smile, pointing to a store at the side of the road. “Stop there, I should be able to find a disposable phone in there.”
“You have money?” Ash asked as he pulled into the lot.
“I might have been willing to leave behind everything, including my weapons, when we fled, but I wasn’t going without cash. It’s easy to carry, to conceal, and can be used anywhere, even in another country if you know where to go to exchange currency,” Johnny explained.
Ash hadn’t seen him carrying any money, or even pack any. Despite Johnny’s improving mood, Ash didn’t want to test it by asking too many probing questions. As open as Johnny had become in the months spent with Kell and Ash, there were still the old habits of keeping secrets and caution built into him.
“Don’t drive off without me,” Johnny warned as he hopped out of the truck.
Ash said nothing, only sighing as Johnny closed the door with a heavy thud. Johnny walked across the parking lot toward the lit entrance, seemingly in no hurry even though they were behind schedule. Despite the casual way he moved, Ash could feel Johnny’s mind as he made his way between a few parked cars, his mind was sharp and alert, his attention on his surroundings.
“You would’ve made a great soldier,” Ash murmured as Johnny disappeared into the store.
The thought had sprung from the depths of his mind and he found he truly believed it. Johnny possessed an incredibly sharp wit, keeping him both aware of a threat, and quick to react when one showed up. He was resourceful and had a naturally strategic brain, thinking ahead to ensure he was never caught off-guard or empty handed. Most of all, he was loyal and trustworthy, two traits Ash considered to be vital in a true soldier.
Ash had always seen those traits in Johnny and had always been frustrated that so many others failed to see it, or that Johnny never corrected them. Despite the dark things that had followed Johnny since his departure from the Coven, Johnny had risen above them and become everything Ash had believed he could be.
Some of that old darkness had surrounded Johnny since they’d left the mountain. It wasn’t the silence that bothered Ash, but the shadowy thought
s he could feel flitting through Johnny’s mind. Ash had yet to feel bold enough to read Johnny’s aura, afraid of what he might see. The last time Ash had seen the darkness streaking through Johnny’s aura, he’d been using Blood Magic.
While Johnny was proof that a Blood Magic user wasn’t inherently evil, or would become twisted, it still worked dark things on the mind and soul of the user. Ash understood the necessity of using every tool available, especially when the odds were stacked against them. For that, he forgave Johnny for willingly choosing to learn and use Blood Magic, which was unnatural in its feeding upon the life blood of the user and worse, others. Johnny had never utilized that latter use of Blood Magic, but it had left its mark.
Johnny appeared once again, strolling out from the exit. His head was down, looking at the screen of the phone he’d already removed from its packaging. Ash had no doubt his friend was still perfectly aware of his surroundings, even as he reached out to any contacts he could remember.
“Are you contacting people or pulling up navigation for us?” Ash asked once Johnny was in the truck.
“I punched in the address Maya gave us, but I’ve been getting word out to some of the people I think are going to be nearby,” Johnny said, eyes still on the screen.
Without thinking about it, Ash took a deep breath as Johnny settled into the truck’s seat. It was only as the rich and earthy scent, tinged faintly by the smell of iron, hit him that Ash realized what he was doing. From the moment Kell had reawakened the wolf inside him, Ash had been almost constantly around both men. While his senses, particularly that of smell, had grown sharper, he hadn’t realized how significant they’d become for him. Just that one deep breath, filled with Johnny’s personal scent, was enough to ease some of the tension which had begun to creep into Ash’s body.
