by Bold, Diana
WHEN CHRISTIAN ARRIVED at Rebecca’s home on that beautiful fall day, he couldn’t ignore his misgivings. Theo had once again convinced him to continue the charade. His uncle had found the marriage contract and had told Christian gleefully that Rebecca’s dowry was astronomical, enough to completely restore Trowbridge Manor and all the tenant farms. He convinced Christian that if he went ahead with the marriage, he could help not only himself but all those who had suffered under Andrew’s inattention to his responsibilities.
Rebecca’s dowry was no doubt what had appealed to Andrew in the first place.
Christian had spent an entire day riding the fields and visiting the tenants. He’d seen for himself how the families who were now dependent on him were struggling. The cottages had leaky roofs and crumbling walls, and the children were thin and dirty.
What had begun as a way to better himself had now become a heavy weight of responsibility for many other people who relied upon Viscount Trowbridge’s stewardship. Theo tried to tell him that he’d always been meant for this role, that he could make so many people’s lives better.
However, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d gotten in way over his head and couldn’t possibly pull this off. Even if Rebecca actually believed that he was Andrew, how could he sustain this farce for the rest of his life?
Did he even want to?
The more he thought about his life before he’d made that monumental decision to exchange coats with Andrew, the more he realized that he’d actually been content with his lowly status. At least he’d been free.
In fact, he did not know what he was still doing in Wiltshire at all. He just knew that he suddenly had more than himself to worry about. So, he’d decided reluctantly that he must at least attempt to further his relationship with Rebecca, to see if this mad scheme was even possible. If it started to appear that she was suspicious of him, he could leave then.
By the time he arrived at Riverbend Hall, he was in better spirits, and some of the dread he’d been feeling on the ride over had dissipated. He found himself actually looking forward to spending the afternoon with this lovely girl.
Within twenty minutes, Rebecca sat upon the carriage seat beside him, and he couldn’t take his gaze off her. She was gorgeous in lavender, her blue eyes sparkling with cautious excitement beneath her wide-brimmed hat. No matter how bad things had been between her and Andrew, she’d obviously decided to give him another chance, and Christian was very aware that wasn’t something he could take lightly.
He was determined to be as charming as he knew how. None of this mess was Rebecca’s fault. He had to make sure that even if did leave, he did so on good terms with this lovely girl. She didn’t deserve for him to run out on her, leaving her to think she’d done something wrong or leave her languishing in the country as an engaged girl whose fiancé had made no move to actually marry her.
The drive to the stone circle on the outskirts of Avebury would take an hour, so he was determined to get to know her a little better along the way. Though it was November, the sun was shining brightly, and he knew there probably wouldn’t be too many more warm days before the year ended.
“Have you been to the standing stones many times?” he asked her, breaking the silence that had fallen between them after the initial greetings. He was very excited to see them himself but knew he couldn’t let his excitement show. Andrew had undoubtedly visited the ancient landmark many times over the years.
“Oh, yes! My father doesn’t like it. He thinks it’s a pagan place, even though the church stands in the middle, but I think it’s marvelous to think of them having been there for so long. They say that some of the smaller stones were used to build the church, so just imagine how many more of them there might have once been. It’s such a mystery. Wiltshire is full of magical places. From the great standing stones in Salisbury, to the chalk horse, to the stones here. I’ve always wondered who built all these magnificent monuments and why.”
He grinned. “It seems an awful lot of work to go through. They must have had a reason.”
“Perhaps Merlin did it with a wave of his wand,” she said, looking up at him through her long lashes, her blue eyes sparkling. “That’s my favorite theory.”
“Ah, one of my favorite stories. When I was child, I loved to pretend I was one of the Knights of the Round Table. I always thought the idea of a king who would sit at the same table as his men, no one any better than any other... I suppose I like the idea of that kind of justice...” He trailed off when he saw that her eyes had darkened. “Did I say something wrong?”
She shook her head and looked away. “No. I just never knew that you were capable of thoughts like that. When we were children, you seemed to like torturing the barn cats and putting frogs in my hair.”
He sighed. He should have known Andrew was that sort of child. “I wasn’t always like that,” he said softly. “Perhaps I was just trying to get your attention.”
A surprised laugh escaped her. “Really? Do you honestly expect me to believe you ever even glanced my way? You were five years older and made it perfectly clear that I was beneath your notice, unless it was to torture me. I always dreaded coming to the country, just because I knew I’d be forced to put up with your antics at some point.”
Placing a fingertip beneath her chin, he tugged her face back toward him. “I thought we’d agreed to forget about the past. I don’t know how we can do that if you keep bringing up all of my former misdeeds.”
She had the good grace to look embarrassed. “I’m sorry. You’re absolutely right. It’s a beautiful day, and I really was enjoying our conversation. I’m not sure why I brought that up. I suppose I’ve just been angry with you for so long...”
“It sounds as though you have every right,” he admitted, letting his hand fall away. “But I really do want to make it up to you.”
“The war changed you.” She peered into his face intently. “You’ve come back an entirely different man.”
He stiffened. “What do you mean by that?”
She shrugged and looked forward again. “You seem as though you’ve been through a lot, is all. You never used to take anything seriously, even our engagement. You’ve become someone different, and I have to say that I like the new you much more than I ever did the old one.”
His tension eased somewhat. “Perhaps I grew up. Losing friends, enduring hardships... it changes a man.” Memories of the war crashed over him. The blood. The death. He’d mostly managed to keep it all at bay since he’d returned to England, but the horror was still there, hovering on the edge of his consciousness, waiting for an opportunity to swoop in. Perhaps it would have changed Andrew, too, if he’d lived through it.
She shivered and gave him a sympathetic look. “I can only imagine.”
“It must have been hard for you as well,” he said, hoping to gain more insight into her. “You were left here all alone, simply waiting for my return.”
She sighed. “It seemed as though I was in some sort of Purgatory, just waiting for my life to start. It was hard to realize that you felt no such thing. I know that you were off fighting for our country, but I always wished that you at least thought of me sometimes. Thought about coming home and starting a family with me.”
His breath caught in his throat for a moment as what she was saying sunk in. “You want children? You want to start a family with me?” He’d never really thought that far in advance. Until recently, he’d never been financially secure enough to even think of such a thing. He’d never wanted a child to have to endure the things he had.
A mocking laugh escaped her. “Yes, of course, I want children. That’s my entire purpose in this world, isn’t it? To provide little lordlings and ladies?”
Her sudden bitterness surprised him. He guessed he’d never really thought about a lady’s lot in life. “What would you like to do?” he asked, truly curious. “If you could do anything in the world, with no one to judge or question you, what would it be?”
This ti
me, her laugh seemed far more genuine. “You know, I think you’re the first person who has ever asked me that?” She fell silent for a moment. “I suppose that I would like to breed horses.”
He blinked. She was surprising him at every turn. “You know about horses?”
Her eyes lit up. “Of course!” She gave him a chiding glance. “My father is one of the best horse breeders in the county. I’ve followed him around the stables since I was a child, listened to him talk to his friends and the grooms and trainers. I’ve all this knowledge, but he won’t allow me to act upon it. Whenever I make a suggestion, he looks at me as though I’ve grown two heads, then completely dismisses me.”
He reached over and squeezed her hand. “I’m quite impressed. I’ll admit that I don’t know much about the topic myself. Perhaps you can teach me. Perhaps we can begin raising horses together.”
“We could?” She flushed and looked away. “I thought you’d scoff when you found out.”
“I would never make light of something that makes you happy,” he told her seriously. “I hope that you’ll share all of your hobbies and passions with me.”
She tentatively squeezed his hand in return. “Thank you, Andrew. That means a lot to me.”
He hated that she called him Andrew. He thought back to the conversation he’d had with Theo on the matter and knew it shouldn’t bother him so greatly, but it still did. The fortune, the estate, the welfare of the tenants... All of that meant so much more than the minor irritation of hearing his brother’s name from this woman’s lips, yet he knew it would bother him for the rest of his life if he decided to stay.
Silence fell between them again, and he wondered what she was thinking. She’d said she liked the new Andrew better than the old one, and that pleased him, but he also worried that she was beginning to put things together.
His entire situation was so precarious, and it all hinged on the woman beside him. Even if he could fool her, did he want to? Was he ready for all this responsibility?
The thought of it churned in his gut, making him a bit nauseous.
“Look,” she murmured, breaking his reverie. “We’re almost there. You can see some of the stones from here.”
He peered ahead, glad for the distraction, and saw that they were indeed approaching their destination. The huge stones stuck up out of the grassy plain, as though some giant had spilled them like building blocks. He caught his breath, intrigued. The squat simple church stood in the middle of it all, the symbol of Christianity seeming strange and out of place.
“Do you know how lucky we are to live near something so grand and mysterious?” he asked her.
She gazed at him, a half-smile on her face. “You’re right. I suppose when you get used to something, no matter how grand, its appeal wanes over time.”
He pulled back on the reins, slowing the horses so that he could turn toward her fully while they still had some privacy. “I can’t imagine a time when your appeal for me will ever wane, Rebecca. I can’t remember ever having had such an interesting conversation.”
Before he could think better of it, he lifted a hand and cupped her cheek, thrilling at the softness of her sun-warmed skin. Their gazes caught and held, and he could tell his words had pleased her. Acting on pure instinct, he leaned forward, brushing his lips against hers in the sweetest of kisses.
She gasped, her hands coming up to his chest. At first, he thought she meant to push him away, but instead, she fisted her hands in the fabric of his jacket and pulled him closer, kissing him tentatively in return.
They clung together, the sun shining down on them, this beautiful girl so warm and pliant in his arms, and all the pain and horror of the past slipped away. Peace settled over him, and he found he never wanted the day to end.
Chapter Four
Rebecca pulled reluctantly away from Andrew, her heart galloping in her chest. She couldn’t believe that he’d finally kissed her! For so long, she’d imagined this, that he’d finally show some tenderness for her, and so far, today had been better than she ever could have wished for.
He’d been so very sweet, and once again, uncertainty reared its ugly head. How could Andrew have changed so much? Though he looked so very much the same, he was almost a completely different man.
With a shake of her head, she banished the thought and gave Andrew a bashful grin. “Thank you,” she whispered. “That was everything I always hoped my first kiss would be.”
“I’m glad I’m the one you gave that honor to.” He trailed his fingertips over her cheek, his green eyes bright with passion before he reluctantly guided the carriage back along its way, heading for the stones once again.
She reached over and grabbed his hand again, needing that source of connection. The day suddenly seemed a thousand times brighter. Why did she continue to doubt this change in Andrew? She should just embrace it. He was a good man, now. He seemed determined to make their marriage work, and she needed to embrace that. All her fears about their future were disappearing one by one, and she found herself hoping that he’d steal another kiss before the day was through.
In a few minutes, he parked the carriage near the church, and then he helped her down, letting her body slide down his and holding her for just a moment too long before he let go with a cheeky grin. The feel of his strong body against hers was extremely pleasant, and she turned away, face flaming.
He grabbed her hand and turned toward the stones. “I’ll get the picnic basket in a moment. First, let’s go see the stones.”
She grinned at his eagerness and followed him toward the ancient standing stones.
He paused at the edge of the circle, pressing his hands against the first stone. “Amazing,” he breathed. “I still can’t believe that someone brought this here. It must weigh tons. How could they possibly have managed it?”
Knowing his question was rhetorical, she only smiled and looked around. She always felt a sense of awe when she came here. A sense of something greater than herself. However, it also made her feel pretty insignificant.
“Just think how long this has been here,” she murmured, trailing her hand across the rough surface of the stone. “It’s strange to think that in a thousand years, people will probably still come to see them, unable to imagine what things were like in our day.”
He hugged her tightly from behind. “I love the way your mind works,” he murmured softly in her ear before letting her go.
For about half an hour they walked around the ruins, talking and exploring. The church was an ancient place, nearly a thousand years old, but it was a mere baby compared to the rest of the site, which seemed to have been there since the beginning of time. Three huge earthen rings were interspersed with stones, though she’d read a few books about the site she’d found in the library at Riverbend Hall in preparation for the trip and knew there had once been many more. In medieval times, people had thought this the devil’s playground and had torn many of the stones down. She told him what she’d learned, and he asked many questions, obviously fascinated.
Eventually, they returned to their carriage and retrieved the picnic lunch Cook had made them and a large wool blanket and some pillows he’d thoughtfully brought.
Once he’d spread out the blanket, she sat down upon a comfy pillow and started unpacking the basket. “I have bread and cheese, apples, roasted chicken, a bottle of wine. Oh, and some chocolate cake.”
“A veritable feast!” He grinned and sat beside her.
She loved the way the sun glinted off his silky black hair, and the way his green eyes sparkled when he looked at her. She’d rarely ever felt so relaxed in a man’s presence and still had a hard time believing that this was Andrew Bradford, the scourge of her youth and the bane of her previous existence. However, she was determined to make the most of this beautiful day and the new comradery between them.
As she divided the food up between them and poured them each a bottle of wine, she found herself staring at his hands as he began to eat. They were beautifully e
legant, a musician’s hands, and she remembered suddenly that one of the few things she’d always liked about him was the way he played the piano.
“Do you still play?” she asked, settling back against her pillows with her plate and glass.
He glanced up at her, his forehead crinkling. “Play what?”
She chuckled. “Sorry. I suppose that question came out of nowhere. I was just looking at your hands and remembering how much I always loved to listen to you play the piano. You have a real gift for it.”
He cleared his throat, dropping his gaze. “I... don’t know. I haven’t attempted it since I’ve been back.”
“Well, perhaps once we return to my house, you can come in and try. You’ve been playing since you were a child. I’m sure it will come back to you.”
“Perhaps,” he said, rather shortly.
Silence fell between them as they continued to eat. However, this time, it was not comfortable at all. She could tell that her request had bothered him, but she just wasn’t sure why.
After several long moments, she reached out and touched his hand. “Did I say something wrong?”
He blinked, as though he’d been far away, and then laughed uncomfortably. “No... I was just remembering the last time I played. It was... not a good memory.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” She shook her head, feeling terrible. “The last thing I wanted to do was bring up bad memories.” But she wondered how he could possibly have bad memories that were associated with playing the piano.
“It’s all right.” He drank deeply of his wine, then tried to smile. “There are a lot of things about the war that I’d rather not discuss. It doesn’t mean that I don’t trust you or don’t want to share myself with you. It’s just that some things are still too fresh. Too raw. Maybe in time...”
Chagrined, she nodded quickly. “Of course. I’m sorry. I would never ask you to talk about it before you’re ready.”
